As predicted - temp drop and a BFN at 12dpo.
What a night. Was so anxious, took a while to get to sleep, eventually did around 10.30pm. Kept half waking up every half hour. Woke up properly around 2am. Took a temp because I thought it would stop my mind worrying - it showed a drop. I felt weirdly relieved tbh. I needed a wee as well so thought ah sod it, do a FRER - BFN of course. I was then awake for about 3 hours ruminating about how I am going to approach this all next cycle, what I can say to DP that isn't 'you need to have more sex with me please' but implies it! Alarm went off at 6am. Bleh.
Oh well. Here's to a July baby instead? DP wanted a summer born baby. I'm crazy so I calculated all the potential estimated due dates for all my cycles - we've got 3 more chances to have a summer baby DP, please have sex with me more than 3 times a month?? And more than once in the fertile window??
DP already has a son from a previous relationship (8yo) who he conceived first try. His ex is def the type who would have been tracking but DP seemed to know absolutely nothing about the fertile window etc. Not only do I shudder at the thought, he's also got some unrealistic ideas about what it takes and is also, I feel, a bit less anxious to start a family because he already has one. It also upsets me a bit to know how easy it was for his ex (who is hostile towards DP & I despite leaving DP for another man, I only came into the picture a year later! I digress...) We have his son every other weekend and half of school holidays and I do my best to make it feel like a 'proper' family and his son loves me a lot, we're close. It's complicated though, although there is love I don't feel that biological bond and I'm often in kiddy places doing kiddy things and so am confronted a lot by young families who are living my dream. It really gets too much sometimes and I find myself crying in toilets at play farms! Sigh. Sorry - this tangent probably belongs on a different board.
Anyway. Although it means I spend a quarter of my life on my flipping period, I am grateful for my short 24-25 day cycles right now.
TTC #1, Cycle #5
Ovulation around 9th Oct
BFP/AF due 23rd Oct
Come on summer baby!
So, I'm not going to temp or OPK any more. I have reliable EWCM and ovulate regularly on CD11/CD12. I'm going to tell DP that I'm finding it too stressful and give him some straightforward instructions:
About a week after my period begins, my fertile window starts. That lasts for about a week. During that week, we should be having sex at least every other day in order to get pregnant. The end.
Responsibility is then squarely on both our shoulders.
Come on ladies, let's get those BFPs coming! I'm relying on you!!