35+ TTC#1 Thread 3

[Blondcat]

We seem to have filled up our last thread so here is a new one.

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Goodluck to all ladies we can do it

That was a lot to read..... I think mine and DP parents (both bad separations) have given up all hope of marriage for us, they are to concerned on the fact we don’t have children yet.... and are forever questioning it 😡.

@CNizzel brilliant news on the OPK 👍 good luck!!

@Bambi @Pixi sorry your having a crappy time ladies.
The doubt and forever escalating ‘symptoms’ are awful. But I’m sure that there are many more options available than you think... if needs be that is! Keeping a positive mind for you Bambi.

It can certainly be a struggle. I’m starting to feel like DP only actually wants to come near me to make a baby.... which is nice. But the forced love of this process is driving me a little doolally! Xx

Checking in from across the pond! waves

We decided to tell my parents because I realized it was going to be difficult to hide some of my symptoms. We aren’t telling anyone else unless we make it to twelve weeks, which is so far away.

@BambiOnIce80 I totally understand your fears about perimenopause. My cycles started getting freakishly short and I was worried that I was (still could be) seeing symptoms of it. It’s not fair, is it? The whole fertile period of our lives needs to be shifted back.

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, @PixieN. It sounds like you have a lot going on so try to take time to take care of yourself.

Hi @BambiOnIce80 I know where you're coming from, and I oscillate between your point of view and your partners. I told the boyf that my AMH result was good at the weekend (I wasn't going to bother), and he just said 'right'. I was like, do you even know what it means? Or care? And he said, 'one day the news is good, the next day the news is catastrophic, somedays you want kids, others days you say you don't, I can't keep up!' He has a point. I'm guessing you have something similar going on at home? I'm just going to give him the occasional headline and have the deep chats with my sister. For what it's worth, I think I've been imagining a lot of my perimenopause symptoms and they're just signs of my fertility steadily declining at a normal rate, nothing catastrophic.

@Kescilly sounds like a sensible approach. Were your family thrilled?

Sorry to hear you're feeling down @PixieN. The TWW is hell.

I do indeed have something similar going on at home @79andnotout. I guess DP's a bit fed up of deep and meaningfulls (especially as I keep swithering 🙄) and listening to my symptom spotting that he absolutely cannot relate to. I sadly don't have a sister to confide in, but I have got a hairdressers appointment tonight and she's been TTC for the same amount of time as me - think I'll be taking advantage of the confessional of the hairdressers chair! 💇‍♀️

I think I'd be freaking out slightly less if it wasn't for the good old vaginal dryness symptom (I apologise profusely to those having their lunch!). Every Dr Google search I do comes up with 'menopause' or 'chemo/radiotherapy' for the cause of that one (and I'm thankfully not having the latter!)... What will be will be. I think I need a break from TTC nonsense anyway - I popped into Boots last night and caught sight of FRER's as I was walking to the till. The words "fuck off" escaped my lips before I had engaged my brain and the woman next to me looked very confused indeed!

If the bloods come back suggesting there's no point even trying, then I'm booking the sodding Chilean wine tour 😕🍷🥂

Glad to hear all is going well across the pond @Kescilly 😊 Your folks must be delighted 💖

@Carley32, are you trying SMEP? That really does turn DingTD into a struggle!

@BambiOnIce80 - yeah sorry can't comment on the dry vag, we don't have enough sex for me to know! If the holiday next week goes to plan I will report back with more data...

Just sprayed my tea all over my desk @79andnotout!!😂🤣😂🤣

I didn't realise that I was suffering from the dryness thing until about 5 months ago. I'd been finding sex painful on and off for a while and the doc's ran various tests and declared it was just recurrent yeast infections causing it (I suffered from those loads when I was a teenager so it sounded probable). It was only after a mega course of canestan and I was still getting pain that I suddenly had the epiphany of what was going on 🤔💡Turns out Preseed lube is a many splendored thing 😉

Talking of - how's @Beeseeinya getting on? Any luck with trying the latter?

Hi ladies, since my very unusual 5 days spotting last week before AF I've been trying to find an answer for it an Dr Google said it could be low progesterone. I had a GP appointment this morning hoping they would ask for blood tests but no, they told me to wait another 6 months.... I'm not impressed 😫. Not sure what to do now, I have been feeling so down for the past few weeks and the symptoms of low progesterone fit the bill. I also need to find out how to avoid stress better (easier said than done) said the Doc. What do you lovely ladies do when you need to de-stress? I could do with some tips 🤓

Hi @QuantumGirl - if you just came off the pill in May then it is likely just your hormones trying to equalise still. I had mid cycle spotting until about a year after coming off the pill but that's gone now, I think my hormones have levelled out.

I run or drink wine to relieve stress. Running is more effective but getting drunk is more satisfactory...

.....on the delightful subject of vaginal dryness, I can report that (for me, at least), the random old wives tale of grapefruit juice in the run up to FW actually made a noticeable difference. So there you go!

@NotMaryWhitehouse I noticed that too, although haven't seen a consistent enough response to confirm it. You have just reminded me to buy some grapefruit juice though!

@Quantumgirl I second running and wine. Though the downside is most definitely running after wine 🤢 I also like a bit of a project, knitting, sewing (I am making curtains for my house) and making bread - the kneading process can be very cathartic

@QuantumGirl maybe a nice long soak in the bath? I’m sorry they haven’t offered any tests yet.

@79andnotout and @BambiOnIce80 my parents were happy but we are all cautious since it’s so early. I’m nervous that I’ve already miscarried with the cramping and spotting that I had, but there’s no way for me to know yet. Maybe I should do a digital test? I definitely still have symptoms but I know that doesn’t mean anything.

@QuantumGirl I find running and booze to do the trick too (not together, obviously 😉). Also find not having medics telling me to "just relax and it'll happen" helps with stress levels 😕 This is the very reason why I'm not discussing TTC with my IRL friends - they're not trying to conceive and I've heard them on the subject before sagely nodding and delivering the "just relax, blah" line... It makes me do quite the opposite of relaxing! 😒

@NotMaryWhitehouse, thanks for the tip 🙂 As much as I hate grapefruit, I'll have to give it a go. Might have to add some gin to make it more palletable 🍸

@BambiOnIce80 why not!

@79 it makes absolutely no sense and is not scientifically proven and you should get some immediately.

@BambiOnIce80 gin and juice, a Snoop Dogg favourite (and my desperation drink when I've already caned all the tonic).

That's settled then. Grapefruit juice shall be added to the shopping list for its dual purpose handiness of A) dry vag help and B) suitable emergency tonic replacement 👍

@QuantumGirl, I've been thinking about more de-stressers than just running and booze 🤔 I find having a good laugh helps put things in perspective. Do you have netflix? I've recently been enjoying an American comedienne called Iliza - she's got a few shows on there and she definitely makes me laugh 🙂

Thank you for all your tips ladies, I'm good at wine drinking but not so much with running (I'm top heavy and fear getting a black eye). Thank you for your suggestion @MrsRRC I used to enjoy handcraft and haven't done any in a long time. Perfect time to get back to it 😉. @79andnotout I went off the mini pill in may and thought it would be much easier than when I stopped the normal pill as my periods came back straight away but I guess they are still adjusting. I'll wait and see what the next AF will be like. I might also start with vitamin B complex as it seems to balance hormones.

@QuantumGirl I was also on the mini pill. I assumed my cycles were just messed up because of my age but they're very regular now, unless I'm ill or flying lots. They come bang on when my app says they will these days.

@BambiOnIce80 let us know how you and your cocktails and your vag get on!

Well thank you all for brightening my day. Catching up on that thread has give me a good chuckle 😂.
@Quatum I am a serious stress head too which is torture in times. So I’ll also be taking some advice.... maybe some exercise but mostly the wine! As the last time I tried running I thought I was going to pass out.

@BambiOnIce80 to be honest I can’t plan shit with my cycles at the mo and I’m yet to have a strong positive (I’m not testing constantly, just most days around 7pm) and DP doesn’t know. We don’t really have sex a great deal as I do suffer a little with anxiety and certainly stress way to much. So don’t find I have a very high libido at the moment plus my overthinking mind is always negatively thinking “does he actually like me right know or is he doing his deed to make a baby” really silly I know. I’m a little mad!
Any idea when you may get your results?
🤞 you will get some good news! X

Thanks for the support ladies 💕 I’m not great at talking about this stuff irl and I will end up getting wound up if I try to DH. He’s lovely and supportive, but doesn’t really understand. Not sure what’s going on with me as Af just arrived 2 days early. It was 2 days late last month. Do you think that’s still pretty regular? I’m tempted to make another appointment with my GP and see if there are any other tests I can have. Tempted to go private like you @79andnotout just worried about the cost. I had an expensive (and lovely) summer and really need to clear my overdraft before I do anything else.

Grapefruit juice has to be worth a try! At least it’s cheap lol I like the sound of adding it to gin. That’s just reminded me to buy some of the alcohol free stuff. Got a girls night arranged in a few months so might take some to that - wonder how that will go down lol...

@Kescilly glad you told your parents your news. It will be good to have their support. I wouldn’t bother testing again or worrying. I think some cramping is normal. One of my friends had spotting throughout her pregnancy, but all was fine and he’s 6 years old now. 🤞 for you x

@QuantumGirl I love my dance classes at the gym. Also love to read, but it’s often tricky to find the time. I tend to read just before bed, but i’m usually so tired I might only manage a few pages before I start nodding off and the kindle falls on my face.

Just thought that early AF and a late one last month makes my cycle only 24 days. It’s usually 26 days on average. The only thing i’ve done differently recently is start taking ubiquinol. I know it’s supposed to improve egg quality, but can it affect your cycles?

Hello! I've been reading all your posts but I've had a hectic week at work. I worry about this sometimes, and how it will risk a pregnancy as I can't seem to switch off and can go all day without eating or going to the loo sometimes. I am considering telling the boss as soon as I get pregnant so I can get her help with this, and also a bit of advance understanding of any sickness or if I were to mc.

I have been managing to do my opks at work, awkward as it is. The clear blue advanced one has been giving me a flashing smiley since yesterday so I am pleased to inform you I do have oestrogen in there somewhere.

So last night I sqidged a load of that conceive+ up in there and commanded the boy to shower and get to it. He is happy as Larry since we have now dtd twice in a month as opposed to twice in the last 2 years! I figure I'll do the same every day for the next few days so far as I can cope. The goo really helped with pain and dryness but I'll have to see what 2 nights in a row is like as I'm a little sore!

I'm glad to learn why grapefruit juice is useful. I must have read it somewhere as I saw it in Tesco and remembered to buy it, but couldn't remember why

Please help..

OMG is this actually a positive OPK?
I did one earlier in the month which was a fainting second line.... but this is quite in your face don’t you think?

I am not regular and only have 1 cycle to go by. I don’t think I’m having any Ovulation “symtoms” though.
The thought that I maybe actually able to ovulate excites me! X