35+ TTC#1 Thread 3

[Blondcat]

We seem to have filled up our last thread so here is a new one.

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Goodluck to all ladies we can do it

Thanks girls. I feel much better about deciding to attend my cocktail arvo with friends. I will do a test but I’m pretty sure it’ll be a BFN.

You are all right I will make the most of it and try to take the pressure off (which probably isn’t helping, along with work stress) and just settle into having fun trying, atleast for a month or 2 anyway.

@Beeseeinya I had very faint lines just over a week ago. I was testing about 7pm and the lasted a few days. But I wasn’t convinced I was ovulating as I had no symptoms. But who knows the body is a strange old cookie! And I am back to seeing nothing at all on the sticks! So I have high hopes that I was actually ovulating! Time will tell to see weather Af turns up when predicted by ovulation app.

@Kescilly aw it’s not nice being somewhere in the middle with no advice and direction. Is it 3 months you have to wait to actually see a go through pregnancy?
Could you ask to book an appointment with the nurse for some advice?

@bambi. Your not out until Af turns up. So 🤞🤞 for you. Those lurking symptoms could also be some positive ones 👍. Xx

@Kescilly I know how every GP surgery in Britain deals with pregnant women is a total postcode lottery, but my GP website has a section on 'what to do when you find out your pregnant'. It's a dedicated phone number for the practice midwives so that you can leave your details and then they'll contact you with what happens next (yes, I am that crazy lady who has checked this out even though I'm not pregnant 🤪). Does your surgery have a website you can check out? It might have something on there 🤞🏻

That's very kind @Carley32 💖 AF is still not here, but I can absolutely feel her lurking 😒 It's not that unusual for me to be a day late. Been too busy at work to book the GP appointment today, so I'll be having to wait until Monday regardless of AF making a late entrance 🙄 I'm very glad you've got a plan for your girlie afternoon tomorrow - please have a cocktail for me too 🍸😉

In other news, DP finally rang for his SA results only to be told he has to repeat it due to 'insufficient volume' 😕 Now, I work in a lab (but not that kind) and what I want to know is does that mean A) the volume of his sample was abnormally low and they want to repeat it to see if the same things happens again or B) some dozey f🤬k wit has knocked it over and there wasn't enough left to test?! Dr Google has woefully inadequate information on what low sperm volume means for fertility 🧐

Thanks Bambi and Carley, I had a look but they just send you to the NHS site on pregnancy. Might be moot anyway, I’ve had some sharp cramps today and a tiny bit of spotting. Will have to wait and see!

@BambiOnIce80 Insufficient volume sounds like he might need to leave a larger sample in order for them to test? I’m not really sure.

@kescilly Was this your regular gp? He sounds a bit inexperienced and I’m sorry you got such crap service.

Bounced all this off gp partner... As far as he is aware your surgery should have told you who to call to book your first midwife appt. In my area you have to call the antenatal unit at the local hospital and they call you back to book an appt at 8 weeks and will manage your baby-related care from then on. Maybe google ‘local midwife centre’ and check which one yours is. If not, call the surgery again, tell them you want to book your first midwife appt and they will tell you what to do.

Re the thyroid, your GP would be the one to manage this rather than your midwife. GP partner said he wouldn’t have known straight off what to advise you and would have checked the NICE guidance. You can go online and check this yourself, it’s what doctors use in appointments (as they don’t necessarily have in depth knowledge about every single condition.) Your gp should have done this as he clearly didn’t know for sure. The guidance confirms that you do need monitoring closely, with first test between 4-6 weeks gestation (which I guess means 4-6 weeks since conception? Not sure about that.) So maybe call your surgery again on Monday to book an appointment for as soon as you get back? The NICE guidance also talks about referral to endocrinologist for women with existing thyroid conditions and think you said you were already seeing one? In which case I guess you could contact them.

Hope that helps a bit xx

Hi ladies.

Lots of chat since yesterday to catch up on.

@Kescilly fron my one experience which I sadly lost you should contact your GP/local midwife (each NHS trust dies slightly differently) to register your pregnancy. You should then get an appointment around when you are around 8 weeks which is the booking on appointment with your midwife who all go through loads of stuff with you like medical history and family medical history and book in loads of blood tests. That also triggers getting your 12 week dating and NT scan appointment booked in. I got my booking in appointment and scan appointment letters delivered on the same day. Do call as soon as you can.

About the convo about alcohol. It's a tough one. I know many many people say that a lot of us would not be here if alcohol really was so bad in pregnancy/early pregnancy so go ahead and no worry but on the flip side if like me you MC (and I hope none of you here who are still waiting for first pregnancy ever have to experience it), you end up blaming yourself for even smelling it - I still think what if .........the day I found out I was pregnant I'd just returned from Dublin where I sampled whiskey and Guinness..............I keep getting told it wouldn't have had any effect but I still keep blaming myself.

I'm CD9 now, waiting for my CB OPK to hopefully show flashing smiley in the next day or two. I've been so tearful yesterday and today. Sobbed all the way through counselling yesterday and cried on and off today ...... today I'm supposed to be 22 weeks desperately want to be pregnant again but this time have a baby I can bring home after a full term pregnancy.

Fx for all of us!

Hi @InDreamland really sorry to hear you are struggling still. I hope the counselling is helping. I know what you're saying about the miscarriage, but literally every single one of my friends blames their miscarriage on something - one claims it was the pineapple she ate the day before, the other one the speed boat she went on, another one the few drinks she had on New Year's Eve before she realised. None of these things caused the miscarriages. There's a lot to go wrong and shit just happens. Please don't blame yourself.

Oh and @Kescilly I have thyroid problems too and my GP says whenever I feel like I need a blood test or monitoring to book in, and when I mentioned I was TTC she said she'd keep a close eye on things once I get a positive test and to book straight back in with her if so (that was bloody ages ago now 🤨)

Hi ladies, AF made an appearance last night so all the spotting since Monday was nothing. The silver lining is that I'm off to France soon so wine and cheese it is for me 😉

Hello ladies,

Am 38, came off the pill back in February. Have been casually tracking my cycle on an app for the last few months but that’s all.

We started ttc this month. Am having all manner of weird and wonderful symptoms, including some light spotting over the last couple of days (could be implantation) got a bfn this morning, period is due Wednesday 25th.

@InDreamland sorry to hear that. But you can’t blame yourself. Sorry you are struggling. I’m sure it will happen again for you soon.

Well girls took a test BFN so cocktails all round for me 🥂. I’ll have 1 for each of you too 😊.

@quatum are sorry Hun. But enjoy your silver lining 😁.

Good luck @mrs and still keeping my 🤞 for some more BFP (OPK’s including) 🤞 xx

@InDreamland the guilt on top of the miscarriage sounds really difficult. I agree with 79andnotout, everyone looks for a reason to blame themselves. Your drinking wouldn’t have caused that. You can do everything right and still have a bad outcome. Sending you hugs and good wishes.

@Noodella18 you’re a star! It was actually a practice nurse, not a GP. It was the appointment the receptionist gave me so I assumed it was appropriate, but now I’m thinking I should have spoken to a GP. I don’t have a regular GP but I did at one point see the same one several times. She was great and was one of the doctors who said I’d need to be monitored if I were to get pregnant. I called just before we left and have an appointment with a different GP when I’ll be around 6 weeks so maybe I can take the guidance in and ask him then.

I’m a little nervous about leaving it after what @79andnotout has said though, as I thought they’d want to see me straight away as well. I suppose I can’t do anything at this point, I just hope I don’t lose the pregnancy.

@QuantumGirl sorry about AF, but jealous of the wine and cheese! Have a bit more for me? 🍷🧀

Hello @MrsRRC! Welcome to the group.

I had a lot of cramping last night and enough bleeding to make me pretty nervous. It’s so early on, there’s nothing I can do but wait and see. I was thinking about taking another test in a week or so but I’m not sure if that would tell me anything.

We are on our way out so I might not be as active on here for the next week or so.

Thank you for the warm welcome ladies.

Wishing you all the best of luck.

Reading this thread I recognise a lot of the same feelings of apprehension about making such a big life change after doing things your own way for so long.

@Kescilly didn't mean to make you nervous!! My doc also said thyroid changes slowly so absolutely no point testing more frequently than 6-8 weeks so leaving it a while won't make much difference.

Hey everyone, just catching up after a few days with my parents. Gad a hospital appointment to go to with my dad, has neen loomng over us for a few weeks. It all went ok though, his brain tumour, although not shrunk, hasnt grown over the past 3 months, so that is great news, snd im so relieved. Just need to get his other meds back in track now. On the other hand, my mum is now back pushing for me & OH to get married, using my dad as leverage. (Weve been togerher 16 years) I've not told her we're ttc cos i know she'd butt in about that too! What a stress eh?! Parents, who'd have em!
@bambionice any news?

Good morning ladies ☀

AF did indeed turn up yesterday evening, so I'm out for cycle 6 and onward and upwards to cycle 7 (and an appointment with the nice GP lady 😉). Sorry AF got you too @QuantumGirl 💐 Pretty excited for the wine and cheese though! 🧀🍷

That's great news that your dad is stable @CNizzle 💖 That must be such a relief 😌 Sorry your mum is putting the wedding pressure on though! How do you feel about it?

Welcome @MrsRRC 👋 I wouldn't say you're out this month yet - it'd be pretty early for a test if AF isn't due until Wednesday. Hopefully AF stays away for you 🤞🏻

@Kescilly bon voyage! ✈️ I hope the cramping is all normal stuff and you have good news for us once you get back 🍀

@Carley32, how was your cocktail afternoon? 🍹

@InDreamland I'm so sorry you're having such an awful time 😔 Counselling sounds like an excellent idea. I have to agree with @79andnotout that it could have been absolutely anything that could have caused the MC, so please don't blame yourself. From my sciencey background, my understanding is MC isn't usually down to mild environmental factors (like a pint of Guinness or a shot of whisky), so please don't keep torturing yourself that it was somehow your fault.x

Hi ladies, I have to admit to taking full advantage of the BFN. After a few tears and foot stomping 'when's it going to be our turn' tantrum I have mostly partaken in wine. Quite a lot.

@79andnotout you continue to be a breath of fresh air - thanks for keeping it real!

@Noodella18 is your OH a GP? (Wasn't sure if you were referring to a GP partner in the biblical sense?)

Sending vibes to all xxx

@bambi sorry AF has made its appearance! But I have a good feeling for next month for you 🤞.

Cocktails were fab and very much needed helped me to destress and loosen up a little.
Back to limiting alcohol for now though.
Maybe you could make light of AF and have a few cheeky glasses yourself!

@Cnizzle sorry to hear about your dad but glad he is stable and you had some good news. Marriage pressure 🙄 there’s nothing worse...... a lot like child pressure.... when everyone thinks it’s absolutely fine to tell you you are getting no younger and should start thinking about having a family..... then the polite answer is always a smile and a shake of the head, when really I want to stuff whatever it is in my hand right in their face!! 🤓.

🤞🤞 @Mrs and to anyone else waiting to test!

How is everyone’s weekend going? Xx

Hi ladies - can I join too? I'm almost 37(December) and only got together with my partner a couple of years ago. He already has a child too. I had just kinda figured kids weren't for me until I unexpectedly fell pregnant last year - but sadly had a mc. Now I'm keen - and also terrified!

I've downloaded an app and focusing on timings etc but still constantly torn between is this the right or the wrong thing to do.

How is everyone else doing?

Thank you @Carley and @bambi we’ve just got back from Portugal so plenty of dirty laundry to keep my mind off of things 🙄

First day back at the orifice tomorrow. Kill meeeee.

Welcome @Bubbles I didn’t think kids were for me either, funny how that changes when you meet the right one, isn’t it?

Thank you @MrsRRC - it's mad isn't it! It's taken me very much by surprise!

@bubbles hello welcome. Sorry about the mc that must of been an awful time.
But good luck with ttc again 😊.
My story I’m 32 (I know it’s 35 + but really never fitted in on any other ttc page. I came off the pill in May and been ttc since, although I feel it’s not as easy as first thought as it’s been 5 months and I have only had 1 AF. So just hoping for my body to regain normality soon.

@Mrs 🙈 oh dear I envy your hols but not so much the laundry and the back to work dread! Hope it’s not as bad as expected lol.

Happy Monday everyone xx

@carley I came off the pill in February and this is our first cycle trying. I did notice it took a few months for my period to go back to normal (cycle was a bit all over the place) so please don’t worry too much.

I’ve discovered that I am a symptom spotter, every twinge etc is being logged 🙄

AF due on 26th and by now I’d usually have spotting. Had 3 days of spotting 20-22 preceded by a day of odd cramping instead so fingers crossed that was an implantation bleed 🤞🏻

Also had a bit of a melt down on Saturday, and I’m so not a crier, but I do think that this whole ttc malarkey can be a lot of pressure so trying not to give it too much airtime.

What’s everyone’s Monday looking like? I am dreading switching on my computer after two weeks off.

@Carley32 - my cycles took a year to settle after I came off the pill, so it can take more time than you expect.

@BambiOnIce80 - sorry about AF. Hopefully the docs are helpful.

@Bubbles121 - welcome to the thread!

I'm expecting AF today, although I've been travelling this month so that does throw things off sometimes. Not had sex this month so definitely no pregnancy. I've booked us a holiday over my predicted fertile week this month so have said to the OH I'm expecting full commitment from him. So hope AF does come on time so it doesn't throw off my plans!

@79andnotout best of luck to you 🤞. That was my thinking when I booked my holiday to France. It's still 25C over there ☀️

Thanks @QuantumGirl! Don't think it's quite as warm in Norfolk :)