35+ TTC#1 Thread 3

[Blondcat]

We seem to have filled up our last thread so here is a new one.

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Goodluck to all ladies we can do it

Well @BambiOnIce80 thanks for the positive thinking but AF is definitely here now, including cramping and grumpiness (oh and overwhelming tiredness, I could just lie down in the street and sleep where I'd stopped, I hate this about AF)
I was interested to see you talking about breast tenderness stopping before AF - does this reflect others experience? I find I get sore about 3dpo and stay achy until AF is just about finished 🤔 not sure if this is anything else I can obsess about and lose sleep over should worry about or perhaps just related to the fact I have fairly massive boobs and gravity is a b**h?
Today's worry is bmi - I'm 24, I have been a size 10 since high school without having to think much about it or worry about I ate but the last two years I've probably changed my eating habits for the worse (egged on by a pretty undisciplined DP who is actually severely obese and needs to sort himself out but I digress). So although I'm still about a size 10- 12 I have gone very "thick" around the waist, it's getting more and more difficult to suck in my tummy, I can practically feel the abdominal fat wrapping around my ovaries I wish I could just go back in time to a place where I had so much self-discipline I just didn't buy things like chocolate bars or crisps, EVER!! So I never ate them. I am going to have to start exercising I really am...
@TheNewbieStep how are things going for you? Have been thinking of you, hope things in your home are less tense and ideally you have had time to have a calm chat about things? I was really cross for you when I read what DP had said... also voting shitbag but hoping someone will slap some sense into him. Big hugs xx

@BambiOnIce I’m worried about being perimenopausul too. My cycles average at 26 days and my periods are lighter than they used to be with more spotting towards the end.

@ Sessy19 and @Chelonia sorry to hear about Af

I read somewhere that having a Bmi of 22 is the best bmi you can have for ttc success. I’ve been focusing on eating better and exercising and managed to reduce mine from overweight into the top end of healthy. Think it’s just over that now though after a lovely summer where I ate and drank lots! Just starting to get back into a routine again now i’m back at work.

@Chelonia, I read that the reason our boobs get tender in the luteal phase is because of our progesterone levels building up. The progesterone gets our mammary glands working a bit, just in case of implantation. If implantation doesn't occur, then progesterone goes down and boobs go back to normal. I've only got itty-bitty boobs, so that's maybe why I notice my progesterone levels dropping off pretty quickly. If you're well endowed in the boob department, then maybe the tenderness will last longer? I hear what you're saying about DP's weight too - mine get very content very quickly after we got together and has probably put on about 5 stone since! He's always talking about trying to lose it... not trying very hard though 🙄 I took up running to keep the weight off. Allows me to eat what I like and stay normal weight 👍

@TheNewbieStep, I've been thinking about you too. Hope things are getting better and the silence has been broken.x

Just popping in to say congratulations @Melamine! That’s a lovely strong line . Really happy for you and will be keeping my fingers crossed for good news at your scan.

Oooh, thanks for the BMI fact @PixieN 🙂 Queue me rapidly googling a BMI calculator! 😂 Turns out mine is 20 at the moment, so maybe I can lay off the running for a bit! 😃

Re: Perimenopausal worries. I've read that you can still get pregnant if you're perimenopausal - we're still having regular periods, after all. I just want to get my bloods out of the way next month and see if my hormone levels are being affected or not 🙄

Thank you, stranger @Darkstar4855! I really hope all is well with you.

Re sore boobs, I also have small ones, and mine never hurt at any point in cycle. When I was pg before, they did get sore (& grow!) but they’re not so, currently.

I’ve tracked when mine get sore for the last two cycles and it seems to coincide with when progesterone peaks. Maybe a week or so after O? Then they go back to normal before AF.

Re: BMI, I am working on losing weight because I really really need to. I’m way higher than all of you. It’s probably the single best thing I can do for my fertility. I’d love any support, good recipes, whatever. Even talking about it here can help to keep me more accountable.

@Kescilly, I loooovvve cooking, so let me know what kind of foods you like to eat and how bothered you can be to cook and I'll find some of my favourite low fat ones out and share them on here. I'm sanding and glossing today (😭), so it'll be a bit later before I can find them out for you.x

On the sore boobs point I wear bolder holders (were v sore and grew even bigger for the few weeks of pregnancy) prior to mc usually had sore boobs from about a week past ov to af and sometimes a couple of days into af. Since mc no sore boobs until this month they are a bit sore at approx 10dpo and my nipples are v sensitive. Definitely hormone related but not reading it as a sign of anything other than hopefully body bit more back to normal.

Oh yikes, BMI, I'm gubbed. Mine is nearer 31. Consultant at last fertility appt told me to.lose weight. And I have been working on it, but yeah, its tough.

We can do it together, CNizzle!

@BambiOnIce80 I love cooking too! I eat meat but not a lot of it, and tend to stick to chicken mostly with some beef. I’m quite happy to eat vegetarian meals. I will eat fish and other seafood but am less experienced in cooking it. My husband and I both like things with a lot of flavour, like Mexican or Indian food. Oh and I love mushrooms and hope to incorporate them in more meals this winter. I read somewhere that they are a good source of vitamin D.

Congratulations @Melamine! So pleased for you.

@TheNewbieStep That's really frustrating. Sounds like there's more to it though, and he's not communicating his thoughts clearly. My advice to myself is usually to try and remove my emotion from the conversation and dig deeper to find out reasoning behind these statements as my oh has some strange thought processes. Hope you manage to sort things out and move forward. And yeah a bmi of 26 is not bad at all! Mine is 23 - I honestly don't know how anyone can maintain a healthy weight into middle age without exercise. If I didn't do loads of running I'd be massive. I want to get mine down by a few kilos as I've had an unhealthy summer (too hot, missed lots of runs and drank far too much instead), so I'll be making loads of soup. Soup is pretty much my go to diet.

One of my favourite things about OH is he will eat anything I feed him and love it, and is happy to eat salads, vegetarian foods, or whatever as long as he gets a big portion. He is lucky enough to eat whatever the hell he wants and never put weight on, he has the physique of Mo Farah! Really annoying as he is a lazy sod but enters any running race I do, doesn't train at all and then just shows up and does really well whereas I exercise about six days a week and look like I've never exercised in my life. I'm all boobs and child bearing (ha!) hips.

Another luteal phase boob agony sufferer here. They start hurting straight after ovulation until about day 2 of my period. This started in my thirties, before that I never had an issue.

If you love chicken and flavourful meals @Kescilly, maybe give this one a whirl. There's not a lot of fat in it and it's a firm favourite in our house 😋

www.the-pool.com/food-home/recipes/2016/13/japanese-chicken-curry

@kescilly I started using Hello Fresh which is teaching me how to cook! I only order 3 recipe/meal ingredients for two once or twice a month and I love how it’s varying our diet. We had a really simple meal last week which was sea bream in some olive oil and Cajun spices. It came with green beans to fry in some garlic (I added mushrooms too - love them and add them to everything!) and parsley to chop up and add to mash. I keep the recipe cards and will prob stop once I’m happy i’ve got a few more recipe ideas. I also like the Joe Wickes recipe books. Popeye Chicken is one of my faves and quite easy to do.

I need to start running again. It was the one exercise that kept me at my lowest weight. Unfortunately, I just don’t like it v much. I much prefer dance aerobics, but it just doesn’t have the same quick results as running!

Oh, meant to add that this is a lovely thread if you want support with weight loss & healthy eating:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/3296128-AIBU-to-want-a-gentler-health-weight-discussion?watched=1&msgid=80864788#80864788

Lovely, supportive folk, lots of good tips and not focused on calorie counting & fad diets x

Thanks @PixieN, I’ll check that thread out. We both enjoy cooking, but I’m awful about snacking on unhealthy things. I think it’s largely emotional eating and something I need to address.

@BambiOnInce80 thanks for the recipe, I will check that out. I think my other half would really enjoy it.

How’s everyone doing this morning? I think we only managed to hit my FW once, so I don’t have high hopes for this cycle.

Still waiting on AF! My longest luteal phase in the past year has been 12 days, but mostly 10/11, I'm 12dpo today, FF is now saying test tomorrow. Been spotting again, but very light creamy brownish. No further cramps since thursday. Strange. I did a HPT this morning just a cheapo one, don't want to waste the frers. BFN. But its still v early & AF us not officially late yet. Im up very early tomorrow for gym before work, so if no AF, Tuesday is the day for testing. (If i can hold out til then!)

That's all sounding very hopeful @CNizzle 🤞🍀

I'm with you @Kescilly. We've only managed twice in FW, so not liking my chances this cycle 😔

I've been reading about perimenopause this morning (as you do!) and it was saying that our estrogen levels start to decline during that time and vaginal dryness is a symptom of that (sorry for the TMI, but I've been suffering from that for the past couple of years 🙄). The only thing that doesn't quite add up is that our periods should become irregular if estrogen is low and mine are regular as clockwork 🤔 I think I just need to get this cycle (6) out of the way and then get myself to the GP for blood tests so I can find out for better or worse what's going on and stop driving myself nuts! 😩

Fingers crossed/held thumbs @CNizzle - worked last time!

@79andnotout My DH eats anything I put in front of him too with hardly any complaint (except when I gave him something lentil & salad based once & that was more a raised eyebrows sort of reaction lol) He even ate the worst curry I have ever made with yoghurt that turned pink and tasted vile. I had to scrape/wash the sauce off the meat and then gave up and had something else. DH ate the whole thing and said it wasn’t that bad 😳 It really was 😂

Hi ladies, can I join? I'm 37 ttc#1. I've been trying on and off for the past 2 years and now I'm kicking myself for having gone back on the pill late last year (stopped taking the pill in May and have been proper trying since but with no luck 😔). My mum had her menopause when she was 45 and it's my biggest fear I will end up on the same path. I remember her telling me it was the end of an era for her but at least she had their youngest child when she was 28. I do hope I can still do it before menopause hits me 🤱

That’s what I had @Cnizzle! 🤞🤞 for you!
Welcome @quantumgirl.

I’m stepping away from the tests as I did another FRER this morning and it’s no darker, maybe even a tiny, weeny bit lighter 😬 but I know that means nothing as perhaps I drank more water yesterday etc. Still. No more testing. Will book early scan next week for 7-8 weeks and cross everything tightly (inc legs).

Hope you’re all ok x

@QuantumGirl my mother's periods stopped after her last child at 40, and her mother the same but at 39. They both drank and smoked like troopers though so I thought that was a contribution but definitely think I'll have an earlier menopause too. I only found this out recently though. My mother refuses to discuss these things! Fortunately one of my aunts was much more forthcoming with family medical history. My older sister is still going strong at 46 though so it doesn't have to correlate, there are lots of factors at play.

@PixieN - the only thing my OH refused to eat was a cake that had parsnips in it. I didn't think it was that bad but he couldn't get his head around it.

I'm away again on the other side of the world and it's fertile week so no action for me. I'm getting zero cervical mucus these days.

Welcome @QuantumGirl!

Hoping for good news, @CNizzle! Are you testing today or holding out till tomorrow?

Thank you for the warm welcome ladies 😊. @79andnotout it's refreshing to know the early menopause curse is not always hereditary. I had my FW last week and I'm on the 2WW countdown now. Trying to pretend I'm not obsessed with every single twinge, this morning's twinge turned out to be heartburn 🙄

Welcome @quantumgirl.

Morning ladies. Sitting on my hands for last few days before af due trying to stay distracted...