TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 25 BFPs for all!

[strawberrye]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

strawberrye
Age 27
TTC #1
MC#1 5-6 weeks January 2018
MC#2 5 weeks April 2018
TTC since October 2017
Cycle 5 TTC since most recent MC, cycle 11 TTC overall

Thanks @KnitKitty. You're definitely right there, no winning. We need some kind of no POAS mantra or something here and something also to keep us sane in the tww.

Haha ninja JKS! You do not want to know what visions I'm having right now!

Hi everyone, I've been reading all the threads, gosh this goes fast!! I do read everything but don't always post.

Congrats to everyone with the Bfp's this month, @hayleyfx I really hope this is a new one for you lovely, think we've been on here about the same amount of time.

Hope everyone is keeping well. It would have been my due date this weekend so I'm trying to keep occupied by decorating and booked a few days annual leave.

Back to docs again tomorrow, had a normal af after my chemical last month then this month has been vile, horrible masses like my 10 weeks miscarriage. Called docs and they seem uninterested but still getting spotting and stringy blood bits and sex is quite painful and I'm on cd13. Also developed some lumps in my groin. I have no idea what it all is.

My god, I feel like my lady bits are falling to bits!!!!

Thank you @Boboelephant and @Knitkitty we are both so excited but also aware it could go wrong again. But we're trying to keep positive. I'll book an early scan for around 7/8 weeks for reassurance. I really hope this time it's ok.
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@Boboelephant and @Knitkitty I hope the tww goes quickly and that you both get BFP's. But like you said if not this month it will happen! Jks! X

Thanks @Mistymeow and @boboelephant, I think you might be right bono as my temp rose further again this morning. Didn't bother doing another opk this morning, I think I missed my surge because Monday morning both lines were equally as dark (with the test line having got progressively darker in the preceding few days) then Tuesday the test line was lighter again. So maybe the surge was some time Monday? Would fit with my temps and heart rate. So I think I'm in the TWW but just waiting for FF to confirm tomorrow with another high temp.

Congratulations @Pancakes7 fingers crossed for a sticky one.

Bobo not bono! hope you're a fan of U2!!

@Funkyemzie I hope the docs will help as sounds like you're having a tough time at the moment. Wonder if it's an infection or retained products (not sure if you can have retain products from a CP). Fx you can get some treatment and get back to normal soon.

I'm so tired this morning and eczema flaring up again - think it's a sign AF is on her way. I'm CD27 so if cycles are back to what they were pre-pregnancy then am due on tomorrow.

Did anyone notice when they got pregnant their skin went crazy? I suddenly got spots etc on my face which I rarely used to get, plus eczema got really bad. Post-mc and my face isn't much better. It's like my skin is permanently worse since pregnancy and not clearing up - loads of blemishes on my face.

Thanks @KnitKitty it does feel like it's dragging from my end! Constant knicker checking and worrying about twinges etc doesn't help. I really don't know why I'm worried about those things though-absolutely no signs of any problems last time with my MMC, so symptoms/signs are just there to fool me I reckon! A week today I'll know what's going on. Just hope all is well.

Sending huge hugs to everyone on here-I'm keeping close watch for those BFPs! Xxxx

@KnitKitty hehe I am obsessed with my furball. She is a darling. How are you doing? Any news from your GP? Thanks for your positivity :)

@boboelephant spoke too soon. Temp back down. CD 23 now. I'll go ahead and do the progesterone test early next week. It's all quite disheartening really :(

@Funkyemzie I hope you get some answers from the doctor, that doesn't sound good but I'm sure they will sort you out. It's a tiresome business, it's been 5 months since my mmc and still my hormones are not behaving.

@InDreamland glad you booked a holiday! Nothing better than a nice trip to relax you. I get hormone related spots but they are massive bumps on my neck. I look like I have the plague!

Got everything crossed for all the new little beanies :)

At work so just a quick update. Just rang GP and he said bloods done on Friday showed 8 For HCG. So looks like possibly an early loss. Told me to do another urine test in a week. Will use the same type to compare with Thursdays. Wish I'd requested repeat bloods now.

Trying not to think too much about it right now as I have to act normal for the rest of the day.

Did another test yesterday to reassure myself all was ok... urine was diluted as I had about 3 litres of water and have been weeing alot. Was a clearblue stick one the cross was there instantly and was very clear. Just looked at it now and it's completely gone?? Is this normal or a bad sign??? I'm going crazy now. Got clear blue digis coming tomorrow and if I'm not at 2-3 or 3+ I'll know my fate. Got a 1-2 last Thursday....

@KnitKitty oh I'm very sorry to hear that. Sending you lots of love.

@xJune88 Try not to worry too much. As you say your urine was very diluted and also they do say that you shouldn't return to a pregnancy test after the allotted time. Have you made a doctor's appointment? If you are concerned I would ask for a blood test. Some of the pregnancy tests can be unreliable and cause unnecessary alarm. Have you had any cramps or spotting? I would probably advise you to stop testing and go to the doctor's, as you have already had your pregnancy confirmed by a digital. Thinking of you x

No not booking anything until I get to 8 weeks and feel safe after 2 losses id just rather not. I'm just confused I'm not saying the test was faint it was very dark I'm just concerned it's now disappeared? Do clear blues normally do that when dried and left for a day? X

Hello, all.

Just checking in. I've taken a step back from Mumsnet to try and chill out, also nothing is really happening as I'm waiting for IVF. I was hoping to start this month but the clinic decided at the last minute they wanted an AMH test doing, which is taking forever to come back and pushing back my start date. I've also had some blood tests done privately which revealed Hashimoto's, which was a big blow as it increases risk of IVF failure and future losses.

Really pleased to see a few of you have had positive pregnancy tests, but sorry to see sad news also. Fingers crossed for happy healthy pregnancies for us all (although I for one will probably be a nervous wreck if I'm lucky enough to conceive again!)

@Laney79 hope you can try to stay calm and not worry too much although Ibthink worrying will be normal for any of us now given our losses. Fx for your scan next week.

@xJune88 same to you too, try not to worry although it's natural and don't test any more. Not sure about CB blue dyes but after the allotted time I don't think they can be properly relied on. Think the important thing is you got strong lines in the first place. Have you contacted your midwife to register yet? I decided if I ever get another BFP then first opportunity I get I'll be calling to register again with midwife. Fx it's a sticky one.

@KnitKitty I'm so sorry. What a head f*. Sending you hugs! This really sucks. Not had a CP but they sound cruel, just like any mc's tou get your hopes up and then gets ripped away. Hope you can get some hugs and looking after tonight.

I've had a headache most of today and I'm so tired. Even the Director this morning told me I look tired and asked if i had a proper holiday booked. Stupid washing machine is playing up, cycle lasted 2 hours longer than supposed to so didn't finish until after midnight! Had to stay up to hang it. Sorry for the unpregnancy related grumble.

Fully expecting AF to arrive in the next 12-72 hours. Think I've realised from this thread that falling pg so soon after mc isn't likely. Part of me is really hoping for it though. This thread started so positively with some BFPs would be nice if we could all join them.

@InDreamland no don't want to register for booking in and have to go through it all again. I'm only 4-5 weeks so am going to wait. Don't have to worry about it approaching if it's not booked. (Weird but now I feel I need to go about it) not even convinced I'm pregnant to be honest. Its an awful feeling xx

Just tested now had about a litre and a half today, pint of orange and 2 coffees. And came up instantly... fingers crossed x

@xJune88 well I don't think there's any doubts about that, its as clear as day. Congratulations

@KnitKitty really sorry to hear that hun how upsetting

@Cakelaur @Boboelephant @KnitKitty @Taylorsej17 thank you ladies, sadly af showed up and I’m currently on CD3. I have no idea if that was leftover hcg or a chemical but I don’t really want to know tbh. Will just assume it was leftover hcg. Was feeling really gutted but I’m back to being more positive! Don’t know if we’re going to TTC this month or not, we said we’ll have a chat nearer ovulation time to see how we feel! Either way I’m glad my body is getting back to normal now, also strangely not getting any cramps at all with this af - weird!! Hope everyone is doing well x

@Pancakes7 @kisses4u @Martydog congratulations ❤️ I hope you all have very sticky beans x

@KnitKitty I’m so sorry! Hope you’re doing okay? Sending hugs 💕

@Newbie21 so sorry hun 😔 I hope you’re alright. We’re all here for you x

Sorry to anyone else having a rough time, it’s so unfair to see so many of us going through this. I should’ve been 19+2 today 😥 what makes it harder is my OH’s cousin fell pregnant at the same time as me. She’s 20 weeks and just found out she’s having a boy. I’m delighted for her of course but everytime I hear about her pregnancy I feel so ridiculously sad and frustrated. I said to my OH last night “why wasn’t our baby worthy enough of life but everyone else’s is!?” I feel awful for saying that now but sometimes your sadness just turns into anger, I’m sure if anyone can understand then it’ll be everyone here ❤️ Glad I can come here to vent... sorry for being such a downer 🙈

On a brighter note... saw this last night and thought of all the ladies here! ❤️ Everyone here is so lovely and I’m beyond grateful for all the support you’ve given me since I joined at the start of this year 💕

@tinypaws good to hear from you but sorry about your news.

@indreamland I feel your pain my washing machine died last year sounded like a truck when spinning and it is right under our bedroom. New one so much quieter. Hope your headache clears.

@xjune88 definitely positive congratulations.

@knitkitty sorry that's really upsetting hugs x

@hayleyfx sorry for af but at least you know where you are now and can start fresh when you are ready x

Af showed up for me today bang on time so sadly not my month either. On to cycle 6 post mc. At least we are off on holiday very soon and fw is while we are away so plenty of time for relaxing and dtd .

Thanks ladies. I've had a cry and a big cuddle from OH and he's given me full permission to be a bit crazy about TTC and totally on board with the OPKs (though as mentioned before, this month will be a trail run as DTD won't be possible during fertile time by the looks of things).
We're planning to get a really greasy burger, onion rings and a milkshake for dinner... And then I'll get back to being healthier... Promise.

@xJune88 I think I would feel just the same in your position, but keeping testing isn't going to help, even if you can't believe your eyes, because you'll scrutinise any slight difference in the tests and they're not always the same as each other in terms of sensitivity or for how long results show up or disappear etc... So try to stop if you can and (god, am I really saying this?) try not to worry. (Yes, we all know that's just not an option). I would suggest creating small distractions for yourself to focus on. Supportive hugs xxx

@InDreamland Thanks hon. Fingers crossed for you for the next few days. I think the statistics with TTC are quite cruel as they are only numbers. As you have evidence of, some people take a lot longer to conceive, and some people aren't more fertile after MC, but numbers are only numbers, we're all travelling our own journeys and nothing can determine how they're going to pan out. I really hope with all my might that you'll get a sticky bean soon and it won't take too long for your rainbow to bless your life. xxx

@TinyPaws Hi again lovely. I'm glad you dropped in, I've been wondering how you are. Sorry about the diagnosis, but hopefully being forewarned is being forearmed? Will they be able to reduce some of the risk, knowing that you have it?

*@hayleyfx I'm glad AF isn't painful and your body is back to normal. I think taking a waiting-to-see-how-you-feel approach sounds like a good idea. I totally understand your outburst. A lady at work announced her pregnancy this week and everyone is fawning over her and I'm just sat there feeling like sht that I can't be happy for someone else's joy. It all just seems to unfair.
Thank you for sharing that lovely note. I too feel so grateful for everyone else on this thread. Everyone is such a tremendous support.

I'm just catching up for the day after a crazy busy day at work.

@hayleyfx so sorry that AF has shown up but pleased you can see a positive in that your cycle is regulating. Those words are really lovely and very true. The other day I was feeling pretty shitty and was wondering why I went on Mumsnet and maybe I should just undo everything because I wasn't on mumsnet when I conceived my DS, didn't do OpKs, didn't even make a note of my cycle dates and it all happened (admittedly I was newly married so probably at it like rabbits so no need to opk!) but then i thought of you lot and this sad journey we are all on but which will have a happy ending and I realised the amazing support you have given me, the knowledge I now have about MCs, pregnancy, ovulation, all that stuff which, having had an MC, I'm pleased I now know. I have a go to group of people who get it! A lot of people won't have that. And for that I know I am blessed.

Congratulations @xJune88 fingers crossed for a sticky one. That's a great line!

Sorry to all whose AF has decided to turn up and sorry to those just having a hard time.

Fingers crossed for those in the TWW. I'm sending positive vibes your way.

We need some more BFPs!!!

I'm on CD6 if you count first day of CP bleed so not quite sure how long AF will last as still here although quite light but hopefully all will be well for FW. I conceived DS in October 2015 following a very weird cycle the month before which, in hindsight was likely a CP so maybe history will repeat itself. Who knows.

@Blondcat I hope you have a brilliant relaxing time (it goes without saying that I hope you come back with a tiny passenger on board!)

@knitkitty I was so sorry to hear your news, must be really devastating. You're one of the people I wonder about sometimes too, think we've been on a couple of the same threads. I hope you're being well looked after. x

It looks like there are some things that can be done to reduce the risks of fertility treatment/pregnancy with Hashimotos but it's probably not going to be possible to get the risks down to where they would be without it. So definitely better to know than not know, but still seriously unwelcome news.

@Laney79 Good luck for your scan, keeping everything crossed for good news, I always like to hear how you're doing as it feels like we went through a lot together!

@KnitKitty so so sorry to read your news. I hope you are getting all the support that you need. Good choice on the comfort food.