TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 25 BFPs for all!

[strawberrye]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

strawberrye
Age 27
TTC #1
MC#1 5-6 weeks January 2018
MC#2 5 weeks April 2018
TTC since October 2017
Cycle 5 TTC since most recent MC, cycle 11 TTC overall

@Newbie21 ahhh that sucks hun, I'm sorry for you.

Af arrived for me this morning, I'm glad in a way because it means I know where I'm at cycle wise but sad too, I'd really got my hopes up that it was taking so long because I was pregnant again.
Af is heavier and far more painful than normal which I'm guessing is because it's taken so long and because it's post cp?
At least now I can track properly and really start ttc with a good idea of where I'm at

@Lilimum4 thanks I’ll give it a go, my periods have been really irregular since my chemicle in Feb, this month was the first on time one so it hopefully body is getting back to normal x

Hi @Pebblesandblamblam. I would say you're good to go. Just, if you still haven't got your period in 4 weeks time I would advise not using an FRER and instead use the same kind of cheapy you got your first negative on so you can compare the results more accurately if you think you might be pregnant.
Unlikely that you have retained products if you've stopped bleeding, have no pain or fever or anything and a normal BFN. FRER pick up tiny amounts of HCG so it will probably be negative too in a few days if you feel like checking on it again (although it's expensive, so if not, follow my advice from above).
Sorry for your loss hun. Sending hugs xxx

@Martydog any news from your test this morning?

@Newbie21 I am so sorry chicken. Sending you enormous hugs. Make sure you get lots of rest and give yourself some treats and have a good cry. Make sure someone gives you massive cuddles too. xxx

@dreaminofholidays Thanks for asking, the steroids and preventer inhaler seem to be doing their job. Only needing my reliever a couple of times a day now. I just bought a book called "Overcoming Asthma" as it looks really useful with nutrition advice and other steps to take and it suggested using essential oils so I've just put some on to burn and it actually feels like it's making a difference already! I've got lavender, chamomile and bergamot mixed with water and it smells nice and I can feel myself breathing a bit easier!
@Mumma100 yes, I get the shakes really bad. I was needing it so much on Friday that it was making me feel really sick too. Doctor said my pulse was quite elevated because of the inhaler, but needs must. I don't know if you've ever needed to be put on a nebuliser but it's the same but worse. I've had to have that twice in my life and have thrown up immediately both times... Felt like I could lift a car after though! Haha!

@Taylorsej17 sorry AF showed up after giving you hope. I felt a lot better once my first period was out of the way. It was a struggle, but felt like getting some closure and I was ready to look ahead to a new pregnancy then. Good luck with your new cycle. xxx

So AF showed up for me yesterday too.
I was actually awake with period pains in the night for the first time in about 10 years, so I'm thinking I could have either possibly had a CP this month OR it's the endometriosis rearing its head again, which might explain the irregular periods too.
I wasn't feeling bad at all yesterday despite starting, but I felt quite down this morning and got a cry out of my system.
I am, however, pleased to announce I am back in full-throttle "I'm not letting this beat me" attitude and am ready to bounce back.

It's cycle 6 post MC for me now. So. I've given in. I'm going to join the OPK band-wagon finally.
I've bought a Clearblue digital OPK (the cheaper kind, because OMG, expensive much???)
Since my cycles seem to range from 28 days to 36 days at the moment I'm trying to work out when to start using them.
On the leaflet it suggests starting from day 11 for a 28 day cycle (and to use the shortest cycle in past 6 months as your guide). I'm assuming they're going by a 14 day luteal phase though and I think mine is 12 days, meaning in my 28 day cycle I think I ovulated CD17.
SO if I start using the tests on CD15, do you think that'll do?

And do I understand correctly... You ovulated up to 48 hours after getting your smiley face... So if I ovulated on CD17, I would get a smiley on CD15? Would I still get a smiley on CD17 too??
Because I'm thinking, if I ovulate as late as CD26, should it pick that up if I test from CD15-24? (Can you tell I'm loathed to spend more money on another test kit this month... haha)

I'm also wondering if I get more than one surge when I have a longer cycle, so would it be advisable to keep testing even if I get a smiley earlier in the month? Could I get another smiley later on as well?

Sorry for all the questions, but I've never used OPKs before!
(And one more... What does everyone pee in? I have plastic cups for pregnancy tests, but it seems like such a waste going through so many in one month!)

Right, OPK questions over with, now for your advice on nutrition and diet. Yes, I wasn't joking, I am determined to do all I can. I may scare OH, but he'll have to deal with it...

What foods do you eat/avoid to help with fertility? Are any of you on a special diet of any kind?
I already don't have caffeinated drinks (more to help with anxiety than TTC) and have cut down on sugar in drinks too and rarely have any alcohol (though I do have the odd glass of wine). I eat quite a balanced healthy diet, but I feel I could be doing more, so ideas are welcome. Anyone got any advice or links to useful websites or anything?

P.S. Was just thinking I've not seen @YellowDaffodils86 around for a while. How are you?

Oh, and I just rang my GP to ask about my blood results from Friday to check HCG levels and she said it says I need a telephone appointment with the doctor. So I've got to ring at 12:30 on Wednesday.

Does that mean it looks like there were traces of HCG and they want to discuss it, or could it just be to avoid the receptionist having to tell me I'm not pregnant over the phone? (Which I now know I'm not anyway).

@KnitKitty oh honey, I'm not sure but I know at our drs receptionist doesn't discuss results whatever they are it's always a dr xxx

@KnitKitty hello hun. Sorry af came. Tbh I got obsessed with ttc. What I did was a bit mad really and I'm not sure if any of it helped but here's my list.

Pregnacare conseption vitamin everyday, warm meals only, decaff tea only, no chocolate or cola. Grapefruit juice from cd1 until bbt went up, then pineapple core 1 dpo to 5dpo. Pre seed for every bd. Temperature charting and opks. No alcohol at all.

Reading it back I sound like a crazy woman. But something worked cos I'm now 5+5 today.

Fx for this cycle for you xx

@KnitKitty yeah as much as I'm a bit upset at its showing I feel at least it puts me in a new proper cycle and I can work this one out properly.
It's a proper fresh start and I can start properly ttc now.

I've no advice regarding Opk's as I've never used and I've only ever taken 'regular' women's and prenatal vitamins. I've got a lot of allergies and take medication already so I have to be careful what else I take on top.

I'm not sure if speaking to the Dr's about lowering or coming off my meds pre-pregnancy might be a good idea, it might be worth getting their input I suppose but then the last time I spoke to them about my meds during pregnancy they were absolutely useless!!

Hello Ladies,

I haven't been on here for the past few months as I really struggled after our second miscarriage in June and I couldn't face coming on here. I'm so sorry for your losses too, life can be so cruel can't it?

I'm coping with things better now but it's coming up to my due date from the first MC so everything is constantly on my mind again. We are also contemplating having a private consultation. Has anyone else gone down that route? I don't know if we should or not to be honest.

Sending you all love. Sarah x

@KnitKitty oh sorry that AF showed up, chemicles are horrible arnt they! I don’t know loads about OPKs but I don’t doubt you will have 2 surges in a log cycle, once you’ve had a surge and ovulated that should set your body’s sequence off to move into the next phase if you don’t conceive. You can ovulate twice but that is normally at the same time if your body has released two eggs, not ovulate and then a break of a few days and then ovulate again x

@Taylorsej17 I'm sorry to hear this. I hope you're ok. Sending hugs.

Hope everyone else is ok, anyone in the TWW? It's so tough waiting around.

I'm still not believing i might be pregnant. I'm constantly in fear it's not going to work out and my knicker watch is just getting ridiculous! Hope I can relax soon, I'm thinking a scan would be beneficial. I'm going to ask for one at 8 weeks, that will give me a goal to aim towards. If I get past 6 weeks that is...

@knitkitty I tested again today and I think it has gone a bit darker. Will test again in the morning and post a photo if it is visible as I am using ic ones. I can justify the cost of the frer.

@Kisses4u I'm okay, after initial upset I'm feeling a bit better now. Knowing where I am in my cycle can only be more beneficial for ttc after Af anyway.
Altho the fact it's much heavier and much more painful than usual is unpleasant.

I was bad for knicker checking after my previous Mc's even toilet paper checking to be honest, making sure there was nothing on wiping as well. I found the first few months exhausting more after my Mc's as I was on constant alert for something going wrong.

An early scan will most likely definitely make you feel more relaxed.

@Knitkitty Chemicals are awful, it's horrible getting your hopes up for it to just end so quickly. It feels so abrupt as well I think?

Hi everyone, I spy a couple of BFPs- how lovely. I'm interested to hear how yours is developing, @Martydog

Sorry to hear @Newbie21, how are you doing today?

@boboelephant he is away for a week. Tbh I don't think I'm going to ovulate this month. Sommat not right :(

@knitknitty really sorry to hear that and also for getting excited about your pregnancy test, I was a bit premature. I'm also going to be on cycle 6 post miscarriage in a few weeks and I'm getting irregular cycles and pain (they've gone 28, 27, 27, 35, and it looks like another long one). It's a good idea to do the opks so you nail down your fertile week, particularly if the cycles are still a bit messed up. I don't know how to use the CB though! In terms of diet I wouldn't get too obsessed. Just take the vitamins/folic acid as you probably already are doing and eat a healthy diet- fruit/veg 5 a day, not too much caffeine or alcohol, avocados and fish all good. I wish I was taking my own advice, just wolfed down a load of toblerone!

DH was told by his specialist that his fertility treatment won't kick in until November at the earliest, so I'll be an old timer on this thread! But they said that we are more likely to have a successful pregnancy as with this treatment the sperm should be healthier. No guarantees of course but it's reassuring. I've come to terms with the fact it may take a long time to fall pregnant again but I'm hopeful for the future.

Another question...the day 21 progesterone test. It's cd 21 today and still no signs of ovulation (I'm temping). It was bad last month too. Shall I just do the test anyway later in the week even though I know it will be bad? That way my GP might be able to help? I never had a problem with my cycles before my miscarriage but it's been 5 months and I thought it would be getting better not worse.

Sorry @Newbie21 sending hugs xxx

Hi Ladies, hope you are all doing ok and that those of you in FW are busy, busy, busy ;-) those of you in the TWW are in a calm zen-like mood and those of you with AF showing up are hitting the gym hard to exert that anger and frustration and being productive (hahaha, who am I kidding!). Anyway, I hope you are all coping as best you possibly can and at least we all know that none of us are alone xx.

I'm feeling ok today. Got my BFN this morning so am focusing on the fact that there should be no complications and I can count this as the next cycle and get back on that TTC bike. It sucks but it could be worse. I have my appointment with the Nurse tomorrow so I can ensure the CP is on my records and see if she has any views.

Thanks all for your help and guidance and kind words, it has really meant a lot.

Hey ladies, hope everyone is ok. Ive missed alot over the last 2 days and can't respond to all so hugs to all who need them.
@hayleyfx definitely looks like a proper line hun. Did you get to the docs today?
@Martydog I'm thrilled for you. Hope it gets nice and dark!
@Mistymeow i think that it important that you do the day 21 test especially if you cant track ovulation. At least if they do the test they can check your progesterone levels and see what's going on. You can join me old timer! Bobo is always here.🐘
@PumpkinPatch000 welcome back. Glad you are feeling a little better although I know how hard the due dates are. We are going to go for a private consultation next month if we don't catch. I'll report back.
@KnitKitty I'm sorry af showed up hun. Sounds like you need some more healthy womb visualisation. I'll imagine a nice pink one for you! Onto the next cycle- you will get there! I think the opks will definitely help. They are so expensive so I really would mix and match with the cheapies too. Day 15 should be fine to start and no you shouldn't have two surges. A long cycle just means you'll ovulate later. I use a little glass pee jar (I think it once was a pesto jar!) and just wash it out. As for diet I'll tell you what I do although you may not want mine as I'm still not pregnant! Maybe ask one of the thread short stayers! I don't do anything too serious as I need to enjoy life too but I take pre conception vitamins daily and grapefruit juice cd7 until ovulation. I hate it so I mix it with apple juice. Pineapple core from 1dpo to 5dpo. I seed cycle- you can Google that. This month I've tried to eat avocado and eggs every day as I read increasing protein helps. Also lots of lentils, leafy greens and a spoonful of maca powder. And lots of water and also a bit of raspberry leaf tea.

Anyone got any ideas what might be going on? Am cd8 today, af finished cd5. Had what looked like ewcm yesterday so did an opk that looked almost positive. Tested again later and it was player, tested this morning and it's very negative. Is it possible to ovulate 2 days after AF?! BD this morning but probably too late if I ov already. I better not be out already!! Temps have been all over the place (first time temping during AF as only started mid cycle last month and have had a few boozy nights..)

Thanks ladies. I am still inclined to think that it was a dodgy test last week and the irregular/painful periods are more to do with the fact I've been off the pill for 10 months now and have a history of endometriosis and other gynae problems. I'll see what the GP says tomorrow but I'm convinced it'll be a 0 HCG result and he just wants to discuss that.

Whatever works @Lilimum4! How are you doing at the moment? Thanks for the tips.

Hi again @PumpkinPatch000. Welcome back. Sometimes you just need space and time to heal and grieve.
I have my due date coming up next month and dreading it a bit too. Hugs xxx

@kisses4u how are you feeling?

@Martydog Still getting darker? Do I have permission to congratulate you yet?

@Mistymeow the fluctuating cycle lengths is really annoying, isn't it?
It must be frustrating having to wait for November to come round for a better chance at trying, but I guess it gives you a little more time to get to know your cycles.
I was thinking about this actually. Sperm does better in cooler conditions too, so maybe we'll both have better luck over the autumn/winter. It has been an exceptionally hot summer this year.

@Newbie21 You sound like an incredibly strong lady. I'm pleased for you that the BFN didn't take long to turn up so you can try again. Ride the waves of emotion if you find it hard to be positive all the time, you'll have good and bad days after CP/early loss. I hope you catch a sticky bean really soon! Huge hugs xxx

Thanks @Boboelephant. I think you'll be putting up with me for a while longer. I just did some calculations and the 7 day period that I'm likely to ovulate OH's parents are over for a visit. So I'm basically out before I've even started this month! I shall use it as a practice run with the OPKs and see if it helps me pinpoint when I'm ovulating anyway.
How's your TTW going? When is AF due?

@KnitKitty hi I'm OK, I've booked an early scan because I'm terrified of another mmc. Also my 12 week scan has been booked for the due date of the last pregnancy which is also our wedding anniversary so it's playing on my mind. Good luck with the opks you'll get the hand of it in no time

@Boboelephant hehe you have the cutest username. Mine is taken from my cat, my lovely fluffy Misty. I actually got a positive opk yesterday on cd 21 and a temp rise today, but DH is across the pond booooo. But I will do the prog test in 7 days time (I'll count 7 days after FF tells me I ovulate). Cycles never used to be like this, so annoying!

@KnitKitty Good that you are seeing the doctor. Hopefully it's more to do with late ovulation like I'm having rather than the endometriosis flaring up. Yes I have faith in DH's spermies working a lot better by the end of the year! Wouldn't a festive pregnancy be lovely for us :)

@doddlebobs it is possible to O soon after af, although sometimes you can have a positive opk and not ovulate (you may get a secondary surge later on in your cycle). Hard to tell with your chart so early on but keep an eye on it, if the temps go down again your body might gear up again to ovulate. As you have EWCM I would continue to DTD :)

The funny thing is DH has to take HCG, so if he takes a pregnancy test I bet it's positive. Not fair!!

@PumpkinPatch000 I've been dipping in and out but not really feeling up to keeping up with all the posts but wanted to reply to you as it's nice to hear from you. Sorry to hear you've been struggling. Me too ☹️ my first due date was 29th Sept so it's hard knowing I should be on maternity leave now.

We are seeing a private consultant. He scanned me first and noticed I have a dip in my uterus so it's heart shaped and could be the reason for my two miscarriages. It amazes me it took 7 scans this year (5 internal) before anyone mentioned my uterus shape! I'm also having blood tests to check my hormones and for any blood clotting disorders. It's about £1000 for all that. Now it depends what the blood tests come back with. I'd rather have an idea before we try again - hopefully next month. I'm so scared!

Hi everyone, not been on much recently as like others have said I find it easier to not obsess in the first half of the cycle.

Congratulations to the BFPs and @hayleyfx I'm crossing my fingers for you that this is a positive outcome. I can't imagine where your emotions must be at right now.

Sorry to those with AF and BFNs, and especially to those who are approaching their due dates. My first due date would have been first week of October and I have days where I find it hard to come to terms with the fact that not only am I not on maternity leave and about to have my first baby, but I am still not pregnant and have had another loss in that time. Sending hugs @KnitKitty @RedRobin7 and @PumpkinPatch000. Finding it especially hard that you girls are such familiar names and desperately hoping it will be our time soon.

Sorry to not be able to catch up with everyone, hope there are things in every day which make you smile.

Well I am back from our weekend away which was supposed to be ovulation time but I think I still haven't ovulated. I had day 7 of flashing smiley face this morning and no EWCM this cycle, although my temp shot up this morning - might be just that I have a stinking cold today though. Goodness knows what is going on and whether I'll even ovulate this cycle. I've attached my chart if anyone has any pearls of wisdom? The orange line is resting heart rate.

We did have a lovely weekend away though, it was nice having some time to ourselves and lots of JKS - which felt like we wanted to because we were relaxed and enjoying each other rather than having to because its fertile window.

Also just noticed how much of an alcoholic I look on my chart haha! We have had a couple of weeks with lots of friends and family visiting then our weekend away...I think I've probably drunk more in the past couple of weeks than I have in the past couple of months, even if it was just a small glass of vino each time

@strawberrye I'm no expert but your chart looks quite similar to mine. To me it looks like you've not ovulated yet, but it's probably imminent if you're getting flashing smileys. I would keep dtd every other day until you get the static smiley then bd that day if you can (and the day after if you have the energy). Wouldn't worry a huge amount about lack of EWCM as it doesn't always show but it may make an appearance over the next few days. Glad you had a nice relaxing weekend with a few drinks :)