TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 25 BFPs for all!

[strawberrye]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

strawberrye
Age 27
TTC #1
MC#1 5-6 weeks January 2018
MC#2 5 weeks April 2018
TTC since October 2017
Cycle 5 TTC since most recent MC, cycle 11 TTC overall

Hi ladies, hope you all had lovely bank holiday weekends.

I'm on to a new cycle, sadly it was a BFN for me last week so onwards and upwards. CD3 today for anyone who might be a cycle buddy.

I had a bit of a strange cycle last month, felt everything incredibly intensely but ovulation was 2 days late and therefore period was 2 days late so i went from a 28 day cycle to 30 which hasn't happened before. I also had a very heavy, very bright red bleed. I'm a little hopeful that my body has just had a really big clear out and is maybe, finally, getting back to normal after the MC 4 months ago.
I'm seeing a natural fertility specialist for fertility massage and reflexology so that could be having an effect. She commented that my bleed days were very short (2 days) and I said I generally had more brownish bleeds than red and she thought my body was holding on to blood from month to month rather than flushing it out so i'm feeling like hopefully this is a good sign. I feel great today though, disappointed we're still trying but in a much better place mentally that i've been in a long time.

@Knitkitty congrats on your new job! That's wonderful news, you should feel so proud of yourself

@Blondcat glad you had a nice bank holiday. I also spent it with a tiny person but like you it was lovely. Good to remind ourselves that we can be happy for our friends.

@Lilimum can't remember if i congratulated you - i had a little break for a while but if not - congratulations! I'm delighted for you, wishing you all the luck in the world x

@TedLife thank hun but I'm not sure if I'm miscarrying or not now

@lilimum oh i'm so sorry, I didn't see your update! It sounds like that nurse was incredibly insensitive. What an absolutely terrible thing to say and an awful way to leave someone. You said you have an appointment at 4.40 right? Hopefully you'll have answers soon. Please try not to get too upset, it might all be ok. Will be thinking of you and hoping xx

@Lilimum4 thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed, try not to panic too much especially if you haven't noticed any bleeding or pain - remember there are different sensitivities of pregnancy tests and one which has a higher hCG threshold to become positive would have a fainter line. The NHS pregnancy tests often aren't the most sensitive, trust me I work in the NHS and often use these tests. Sending hugs xx

@Lilimum4 fingers crossed everything is ok for you!

Oh @Lilimum4 just seen this note (replied on the other thread) that's so horrible of them to not register the pregnancy. Your test line was very clear. Especially if the test at the Drs wasn't a sensitive one and it wasn't FMU. Hopefully your appointment this afternoon will be more productive. Keep us posted. Xx

Up date again now registered but she thinks it might be a miscarriage I have to for bloods for the next two days and urine tests and she has sent samples off. Be she said she does hold much hope. She even advised me not to tell anyone before seeing the results just incase.
Oh I could sod I could. Keeping my fingers crossed

Oh @lilimum4 just caught up. Sorry your having to go through this. I'm going to keep everything crossed for you🤞🤞🤞 xxx

@Lilimum4 So sorry you're having to go through this. Keeping everything crossed that lady is wrong! Thinking of you 🤞🤞

Sorry I wrote the last up date in a state. I meant she doesn't hold out much hope but to go back for bloods for a few days. But until a scan tells me bad news or I she blood I'm going to pretend everything is fine

@Lilimum4 I'm so sorry you're going through this hun. I think believing everything is fine is a good idea and send that baby good sticky thoughts. I'm a bit confused as it doesn't sound like there's any evidence of you miscarrying so not really sure why they are saying this? Your test yesterday was so strong, just keep remembering that. Crossing everything for you for your tests on Thursday.

@TedLife glad you are feeling more positive. I felt the same way about my bleed this month. It was much heavier, painful and red and I thought it was my body finally having a proper clear out after my reiki. My MC was 9 months ago but feel like I've been holding emotional blocks so hopefully we are now ready for our babies!

Lilimum I'm so sorry you're going through this stress. What is her reasoning that you may be miscarrying exactly? Blood in CM is extremely common in pregnancy, especially early pregnancy... I don't get what she's banging on about.
And I seriously question her attitude... Advising you not to tell anyone about the pregnancy at this point in time is not for her to say. You can tell people about it whenever you chose, whether it's a sticky one or not. You may wish to tell people about it to get the support you need so I'm annoyed for you that she said that.
This whole thing doesn't sound well dealt with. I would consider flagging this up with the surgery if you feel that it's the right thing to do.
Huge hugs xxx

Thanks TedLife, glad you're feeling better.

Thanks Blondcat. Baby cuddles are the best. xxx

@Lilimum4 I really feel for you. It all seems very confusing and doesn't seem to make sense. Keep thinking positive and I'm sure that sticky little bean will show them what's what! Totally agree with everything @KnitKitty just said - totally unacceptable for anyone to tell you not to say anything about your pregnancy.

Oh @Lilimum4 that sounds like a very bad nurse to me-what happened to care and compassion!
Do you have an early preg unit? Maybe give them a call and explain how anxious you are after what she's said?
If you're not bleeding then that's a good sign for now, like others have said, no pain, no bleeding are all good. Fingers crossed she's adding 2+2 and getting 34! Hugs xxx

@lilimum4 hugs for you sounds like a very odd thing to say without any proof of anything.

Thank you ladies I really don't know where I would be without your support. Fx for a stubborn baby xx

@Lilimum4 sorry you are having to go through this, I really feel for you. I agree woth@boboelephant though that I don't see where she got this idea of you miscarrying from seeing as you have no symptoms of miscarriage. Keep positive thoughts and cling on little baby!

@TedLife sorry for AF and BFN but really happy to hear you're feeling more positive

@KnitKitty hello again! Congratulations on getting the job and as ever on the positive mental attitude.

Weirdly still no AF today despite being due yesterday and BFN yesterday. My temps have dropped so I'm sure she'll be on her way... although there is a small part of me that is praying that because my temps are still above the cover line they could rise tomorrow and I could get a BFP.

Any Great British Bake Off fans here?

Thanks @mistymeow. Took executive decision and have emailed the person scheduling some meetings in for me that I now can't do the first half of that day but also phoned the booking line for the appointment who say there's no other appointments available sooner so I have no option now than to look at going private. I'm just so fed up. Feel right now like there's no justice in the world.

Currently on CD12 of first cycle since mc and CB OPK showing nothing. Just an empty circle. Worried I'm just not going to ovulate.

@Lilimum4 @Russkispy yey more crocheters! Love both your work, lovely, im currently making a call the midwife blanket.
I like cygnet too.
I also love mandala and caron cakes.

@Lilimum4 I also must have missed your bfp! Congratulations but also so sorry to see you are going through this shitty time. I hope its all sorted and its not a mc at all. Big hugs for you.

@KnitKitty glad things are better for you. Congrats on your new job.
@Boboelephant
I have a good feeling for you, i definitely think there is something in letting all the mental blocks go.

@TedLife sorry for bfn last week, good luck for this cycle🤞🏻
Pleased you are feeling better mentally too.

@Melpops36
Sympathy for tww it can be such tough crazy two weeks. Im about to enter it and i hate it sometimes.

Hello to all newcomers.
Sorry for hard times and bfns
I have been awol and really bad at catching up lately. I think i may have missed lots.

Its ovulation day today, waiting for temps to hopefully confirm.
Have done smep for the first time this month, hoping it worked.
So sliding into a tww with af due on my 32nd Birthday.
I have said previously that id like to be at least pregnant by 32, so lets see if i can make my deadline!

@Lilimum4 That does seem like a really strange reaction from the lady you saw. Are you anywhere near London? If so St George’s have a walk in epu, no referral needed x

@Kintan thanks hun, but no I live out in the sticks all the way in Shropshire on the Welsh border

@Lilimum4 I'm shropshire too-EPAS were great with me-is it worth calling them? X

@Lilimum4 that's crazy that she can say that to you!! I'm glad they're doing bloods so that bub can prove her wrong. Have you done another frer or test to help put your mind at ease?

Oh @Lilimum4 I'm sure all is ok, the FRER is mega sensitive compared to nhs ones. I think if you are still super early you could still be having a small implantation bleed, but with no pain and no obvious bleed I'd say you're probably ok hun. The sensitivity of the test and the nurse are very questionable IMO