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Original poster

TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 25 BFPs for all!

999 replies

strawberrye · 15/08/2018 07:54

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

strawberrye
Age 27
TTC #1
MC#1 5-6 weeks January 2018
MC#2 5 weeks April 2018
TTC since October 2017
Cycle 5 TTC since most recent MC, cycle 11 TTC overall

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Original poster
strawberrye · 22/08/2018 21:36

@Boboelephant AF due around Monday/Tuesday. Aiming to not test because I feel early testing has so much potential for confusion and heartbreak, but we'll see if my willpower holds out

OP posts:
Boboelephant · 22/08/2018 21:43

@strawberrye yep totally agree! Good luck holding out, you can do it! Hope you have a fun distracting bank holiday planned.

xJune88 · 22/08/2018 21:44

Thanks for the advice I will continue to pee on everything in the house haha. I will be so grateful when I get a positive even if i don't get pregnant just to know my poor body is getting back to normality! Hope you all get your BFP and a healthy 9 months xx

Yukka · 22/08/2018 21:59

welcome back @boboelephant xx hope you feel a bit better for the break. Can you remind me I think you have been trying to conceive again for quite some time is that right? Were you multiple mc or one and then nothing at all since?

@pebbles mostly they recommend it for dating of any future pregnancy, but the first cycle or two do tend to be a little weird/out of sync anyway. If you feel ready to try again then you can, some get lucky :)

We're off to car fest south this weekend the Radio 2 children in need thing. It was meant to be FW but with my last cycle being random I'm at least a week out. I shall instead wholly enjoy being carefree one last weekend just-in-case next month is 'the month' :) This is the pattern that keeps me sane through all this!

Does anyone else have trouble 'planning for the future'? Its my 40th next February, and I've been going through the motions of planning something that works either if I'm pregnant or not - like a smart cottage somewhere with a pub and a log fire nearby with friends. But this week I found myself saying 'fuck that' and looked at booking 10 days in the Caribbean instead with DH. I can do that pregnant or not right! Am I alone with this internal battle!?! aarrggghhh! :)

Boboelephant · 22/08/2018 22:10

@Yukka yep it's been a long road. I'm a bit of an unexplained secondary infertility case. I had an ectopic pregnancy which ruptured and I lost a tube. It then took a year to fall again which ended in a MMC. Now on cycle 9 since MC without a sniff of a bfp.
As for your birthday I say just book what you want! I spent ages not booking things in case and that didn't work so why not! Also I went to the Caribbean with DH when pregnant with my DS and it was awesome!

craftymum01 · 22/08/2018 22:26

Hello everyone. Do you mind if I rejoin?
Craftymum 35
1 ds age 2
Mc @ 15 weeks Jan 2018
Mc @ 15 weeks aug 2018

Not sure If im jumping the gun by coming back on here as we only lost our little one this week but I am so conflicted. Part of me wants to get back on the ttc train straight away and put the last 10 months behind us. The other part wants to stop ttc altogether and be content with my little family of three. I hope you don’t mind me hanging around, I find you ladies a comfort knowing I am not alone.

Apologies for the lengthy message xxx

Yukka · 22/08/2018 22:30

@boboelephant ah yes i recall now re the tube loss that must have been tough to deal with. Is ivf an option for you guys at all to get past the conception part? Sorry don't mean to be nosey just curious as we all have different hurdles to get through. my friend just went through something similar they thought she had ovarian cancer but turned out to be really bad endometriosis. Removed one ovary and tube (relief and upset rolled into one) She's just started ttc for dc2.

Yukka · 22/08/2018 22:38

Sorry to see you here @craftymum and sorry for the loss of this little bean. I think I remember you from January or ttc bus. Hope your doing ok, I think it's normal to feel conflicted to be honest given what's happened. But time will help (cliche I know) x

craftymum01 · 22/08/2018 22:44

Thank you @Yukka. I think the sensible side of me is saying take a break until Christmas when emotions and hormones aren’t running my life. But it’s very hard not to try and jump straight back into trying again x

Kintan · 22/08/2018 22:51

@craftymum01 so sorry to see you here. Hope you are bearing up ok. xx

@Boboelephant - book the Caribbean trip! Just get decent travel insurance in case you have to change your plans :)

Yukka · 22/08/2018 23:07

@craftymum so I have a saying..sometimes if you don't know what to do, do nothing. Meaning, you don't have to decide to try or to wait. Just see how you feel tomo or the day after that and so on, and eventually the answer/decision will come to you naturally x

craftymum01 · 22/08/2018 23:22

That’s actually really good advice. I have a lot planned over the next four months so I have things to focus on.

Original poster
strawberrye · 23/08/2018 06:13

@Yukka the holiday sounds like a brilliant idea but the only thing I'd say about the Carribbean is Zika...which means you couldn't go if pregnant and then would have to put TTC on hold for 6 months after. So maybe some Zika free beach destination like Mauritius?

OP posts:
robin78 · 23/08/2018 08:46

@Yukka Totally get where you are coming from. I wasn’t sure what to do for my fortieth while ttc and then I got pregnant and decided to book a party anyway. I subsequently miscarried and was t sure how I would feel about the party. I ended up having the best time and being very grateful for having the party I had wanted in the first place. I also booked a holiday for straight after. Not sure what the lesson is there. Maybe, we don’t know what’s going to happen so book the thing you really want to do (holiday!) but as @strawberrye suggests maybe pick somewhere you could go if pregnant by then.

xJune88 · 23/08/2018 10:46

Yes @yukka totally understand!! We have been married a year but never had a honeymoon so we want to go to St. Lucia or Santorini but I have to worry about zika and flying over a certain time pregnant we could go earlier but weather isn't nice so no point, so we are doing Iceland in October to see the northern lights, blue lagoon etc if I get pregnant it doesn't affect it just no blue lagoon for me xx

xJune88 · 23/08/2018 11:43

Ooo I'm nearly there... I know this doesn't guarantee ovulation but it looks like it's coming?! Have EWCM too....

TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 25 BFPs for all!
Pebblesandblamblam · 23/08/2018 11:48

Thank you @Yukka Smile

Russkispy · 23/08/2018 11:51

@xJune88 , lines are looking good! You're almost there! Have fun DTD!

Blondcat · 23/08/2018 12:28

@xjune88 goodluck nearly there jks!

@yukka holiday sounds great idea shame we have to consider zika as that takes out loads of lovely places but as others said there are still some great places to go.

Boboelephant · 23/08/2018 17:25

@craftymum01 so sorry for your loss. Focusing on other things and just seeing what happens sounds like a good idea. Now if only I could listen to that advice too.
@Yukka you're not being nosey at all. IVF or IUI will prob be the options at the end of the year. I've had a bunch of tests and they can't find any reason I'm not falling. Gynae was sure I'd be pregnant by December so we'll see. My DH is also sure it'll happen, only me that seems to doubt it. I fell immediately with my son and also the EP so the waiting is hard but I just get told it takes longer as you get older and until 12 months after last loss they aren't too interested.
@strawberrye ahh good point. I was pregnant in the Caribbean before zika got there!
@xJune88 close! You should ovulate in the next two days or so 👍

mostimproved · 23/08/2018 18:09

@Yukka re planning for the future, i am finding this even harder when ttc post miscarriage as I keep thinking I should have been pregnant on a certain date e.g. my birthday is next month and I would have been pregnant so was planning to have a massage and facial etc, but if I'm not pregnant again by then I will probably be drowning my sorrows instead! Same with Christmas.. last time I saw my MIL she said 'next time I see you will be Christmas and you'll have a bump!' and now I'm like... well maybe I'll have a tiny one or maybe none at all Sadit makes it difficult to look to the future when I don't know what it will look like, so I can definitely relate.

This is a bit TMI but it is a TTC thread after all - can your CM be different post-miscarriage, as today I had a big glob of clear discharge that was super stretchy, as in I could stretch it about 5cm with my fingers, and I don't think I used to get this before although I only paid attention to it for a couple of cycles previously. Am I ovulating or is it my body still clearing out after miscarriage?! I will do an OPK soon but that might just confuse me even more!

Lilimum4 · 23/08/2018 18:10

Well 8dpo and nothing not even a twinge so I guess it's not going to be this cycle. I'm getting properly fed up of all this now. I'm so down this month

Original poster
strawberrye · 23/08/2018 19:03

@mostimproved sounds like could be a big dollop of EWCM so go go go with the JKS!
@Lilimum4 sorry to hear you're feeling down. Just because you haven't had symptoms doesn't mean you're out, especially at 8DPO - that's so early still. I've had months with loads of convincing symptoms where I've had a BFN and AF at the end so I don't think symptom spotting is all that reliable. Chin up hen Flowers

OP posts:
Yukka · 23/08/2018 20:44

Oh thanks for all the advice ladies. Just been reading up on Zika- yikes. Not a risk worth taking pregnant or ttc. Caribbean is all moderate risk. DH made me laugh though as I asked "where could we go instead babe?"

"Tenby?"

Time do to some googling!

@lilimum all 3 of my pregnancies didn't get bfp or symptoms until dpo 14....

@boboelephant well I'm glad to hear ivf or iui are options. Shame you have to wait 12 months - and I'm sure you will fall pregnant too - but you are far from being at the end of the road, perhaps you can take comfort from that on your low days.

My consultant suggested that if I don't conceive to full term then it's likely cos my eggs are old....and my best option is a donor egg from a younger female. I really can't process that right now. Seriously it feels like Dh would be cheating on me!!! But I'll focus on what I can do, staying calm, healthy, investigate supplements, acupuncture etc and not let it overwhelm me. Easier said than done at times but mind over matter and all....and new shoes ;)

Hope everyone doing something really nice this bank hol xx

Lilimum4 · 23/08/2018 20:59

@Yukka thanks wish mine had been a bit like that. All 5 of mine I knew by 8dpo and test early with every symptom going.

I wonder if that's why I miscarry too, maybe my eggs are all old and shriveled up