TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

[Miami81]

Hi all. Sorry I hadn't realised other thread was full.
Have tagged who I can remember.
Please add people in.
@AnneLovesGilbert @Labmum @Hopefulforourrainbow @zarala

Thanks @Labmum and @norbert23 it was ok-couple of moments, one when one lass (who I've not met before) was talking about her other half and getting the snip and how they are waiting for a few years until she's 40 as that'd be too old for them to have another baby...that got me a bit. She wasn't to know my age/circumstance but it did take the wind out of me a bit. Other was when we got given a newborn baby grow to draw on -and I sat there thinking I should have lots of these of my own as bean would be just over a week old now.

But I did it, and I didn't cry. Lovely to see my mate and her bump though.

You did really well @Laney79 baby showers can be hard, and a bit raw! I’ve had to do it, my cousin had the audacity to have practically the same EDD from one of my mmc AND have a baby shower!! That was very tough, but I got through it - the same as you today!

We CAN manage 💪 after all it’s noones fault really that we suffer rmc, it’s just so desperately unfair.

Your friend sounds like she deserves one after her late mmc but I personally wouldn’t have one....

Baby showers can be horrible. I had one and 2 baby bombs on the same day in September. My friend and I had same due date too. Nice to still go especially when it's a close friend though.

Well done @Laney79 it must have been hard, I'm sure your friend really appreciated the support though x
I've woken up to feeling super broody! It seems every advert is of a snuggly new baby and it's driving me a bit mad

6 week scan tomorrow morning - I’m bricking it. I’ve successfully spent the last 2 hours reading old forums and googling recurrent miscarriage stories/statistics/data. You name it. Why have I done this to myself?

I feel like absolute crap, I’ve convinced myself that there is nothing in there and that the outcome is inevitable.

I wish we’d taken a longer break in ttcing. I’m really not ready for this.....

@curlytwirlytwosgood luck today. Try to stay calm, and if you didn't DTD in FW try not to worry if the dates don't match up. Have you had early scans before? Have your miscarriages all been before this point? Hopefully today can provide reassurance for you (for me it never did as I always miscarried later so it always felt like a pointless exercise).

Good luck today @curlytwirlytwos will be thinking of you and have everything crossed. Hope you don't have to wait too long for your appointment.

Ahhh - thank you ladies! I’m back now. I had a 10.30 appointment and they were 30 minutes running over, I was so, so anxious waiting.

All is well so far - I’m measuring 6+4 which is 4 days ahead! The sonographer did sternly remind me that at this early stage it can be -/+ 5 days so to keep LMP until dating scan.

It was so tense lying there, until she started clicking and said everything looked normal for size. I did start crying from relief.

I’m hoping it will put my mind at ease for a while. I’ve never had a scan this early @labmum and I’m painfully aware it’s a snapshot of that day! But it’s a step in the right direction.

Brief history for new joiners:

Jan: mmc 7 weeks, but only found out at 12 week scan. Medical management.

April: 5 weeks/chem - no fetal pole found

June: Got to 8 weeks, no bleeding. Went for private ‘reassurance’ scan (after midwife wouldn't refer me to EPAU) to only to find no heartbeat. Stopped growing at 6 weeks. MVA for resolving that.

August: Another chem/5 week mc. No scan just bloods.

November: hb at 6+4!

It’s been quite a hellish year, and there’s been some awful low points. I’m currently having counselling sessions every 2 weeks.

Reading back I think ‘why I am doing this again, I’m insane’.

I’ve an hour break before my mum drops my DD home. I’m shattered!

Gawd - sorry. I’m always feel I write too much!

That's great news! Have been checking all morning to see if there's been an update! I measured 6+4 too at my first scan! Was also my first good scan x

Lovely news @curly big sigh of relief. Will you be having any more scans between now and dating?

Can I join. I have a 2.5 year old that was conceived easily and I thought it would be fine second time around. We've now been TTC since April with a missed MC and one at six weeks last week.

Hi of course you can join. Sorry you've found yourself here. We're a friendly bunch and can offer advice/support.

I had my booking appointment today. I can't believe the amount of questions! I've been prescribed 5mg folic acid. Midwife has put me a week ahead and is ignoring the fact i have a long cycle. I guess that just means if next week's scan is ok it won't be long til I have another one!

Hi @Luxembourgmama - welcome to the thread! It’s a place you can get everything off your chest (which I do regularly) vent, moan or ask questions! It’s been such a great help and fabulous support for me these last few months. I cannot thank the ladies on here enough, as thoughtful as friends are, some don’t really get the heartache and frustration of rmc sometimes. We do here.

@hopeful - that is fantastic step forward to get to booking! How many weeks are you now exactly? I can’t be too far behind you. Is your scan this Thursday?

I really hope this is our time 🤞

On Monday the EPAU encouraged me to get booked in ASAP, but I’m very, very reluctant to. I’ve decided I’m definitely going to ask for a scan at 8 weeks (hope they agree to one). After a second healthy hb is found I’ll book in with a midwife. I’m just not anywhere near ready to have a booking appointment yet. I’ve been through one which was pointless as mc was discovered later, and have also had to cancel appointment too (only to have midwives chase me up regardless) which I found upsetting. I’m determined only to book in when I’m feeling more confident that this one is here to stay.

Interesting about the folic acid - @labmum mentioned that amount as well, although I said I’d follow it up, I haven’t. I’m
currently only taking the pregnancare dosage. That is my bedtime reading tonight!

Hope everyone else is holding up okay xx

Hi everyone hope you are ok, counting down till I can do a test and I know about waiting two weeks, according to Flo app I'm due on around the 15th of November that's if it's a 25 day cycle again, I'm going away next Thursday for a few days so am thinking of taking a test with me then, really hoping for a bfp this month, b'd on both peak days and the day afterwards. X

I'm 8+5 today by my calculations. Midwife is only at my surgery 1 day a week so it's very difficult to get appointments hence why I made it anyway. Scan is next Thursday. Still feeling quite anxious about it all. Keep trying to remind myself I'm further than I have been before.

@moonpeace are you sure your dosage is correct on that as the recommended amount for folic acid in pregnancy is 400mcg/day? 8mcg doesn't seem like very much.

@moonpeace and @curly do whatever you feel comfortable with for the booking in appointment. Be your own advocate. The appointment itself means nothing and even the blood tests they do at booking can be done at a later date. The only thing it is useful for is the consents for the NT/dating scan and screening bloods, I managed to find a sympathetic midwife who took the consents and arranged my scan (10 minute appointment) and then I had all my bloods and my booking appointment on the same day as my 12 week scan (after the scan once I knew everything was ok). I'm not saying don't have your booking appointment just that you don't have to be pushed into it and can have it later if you want.
I was frustrated at being put into a tick box system with no compassion for what I'd been through. I also asked them not to give me an EDD until the dating scan. I was a very difficult patient !

@lauraliverpool hope you get your BFP this cycle!

@Labmum thank you, so do I ! X

Ahhh - thank you @labmum for the good advice (as always) you’ve been so helpful with your experience! I’ll push for same. I’ll admit - I’ve not checked my EDD this time either.

It seems we are all counting down days for something: bfps, scans or appointments. Time has slowed down for me this week!

This article might interest to some of you, whilst trying to figure out my rmc: www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19361432

From the books I’ve read, everything which I have suffered points to chromosomal abnormality rather than placenta/blood issues.

I’ll sign off before I write another essay 🙈

It's been a quiet few days on here. I hope no news is good news. I should be 9+2 now. Have been feeling generally good, tired and a bit nauseous at times. No spotting since a week past Monday until I went to toilet about 15 mins ago and there was more light pink. Had started to feel better about things and that this pregnancy might actually work and now I'm back to square one feeling super anxious again. Next scan is Thursday. Not sure if I should call and see if I can bring it forward. Hubby is still working away. Due home tomorrow.
Hope you're all well.

@Hopeful if it will put your mind at rest no harm asking them to bring your scan forward. Last few days been feeling sick past couple of days, sore boobs and going the loo for a wee loads, today got those familiar dull aches in my back and tummy that AF might show up, I'm hoping not, according to Flo app not due on for another five days. Hope you are ok. Xx

Oh @Hopefulforourrainbow that must be really scary. I'd say bring the scan forward if you can-worry will do you no good.
That said I'd just read your message in the car as we were driving home this afternoon and as we pulled into our drive saw this. I'm taking it as a sign that everything is well with your little one xxx