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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

995 replies

Boboelephant · 30/06/2018 11:58

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

Boboelephant
Age: 35
TTC #2
DS 2.5
MMC at 10 weeks in December 2017. Ectopic rupture in November 2016.
Cycle 6 post MC. Trying since September 2016.

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

OP posts:
Thread gallery
35
Bobzybaby · 14/07/2018 17:25

@Lookingforhelpsh yeah, I would think the line should be much stronger for being 10 days late. Could be left over hcg. Your period might not be 'late' as such, it can take time to get back in to your regular cycle after mc. You're maybe best retesting in a week or so (my local EPAS always tell me that).

GPS76 · 14/07/2018 21:16

Thanks @doddlebobs for your kind words , I've had a day or so to ponder and I feel a bit better !
@Boboelephant thanks for your kind words and I so have everything crossed for you tomorrow!!!,
@Newbie21 I think you are spot on! Did not realise the cycles could be all over the place and yes I'm pleased it's a short cycle with no ovulation rather than a long one! I assumed as I had let baby come out naturally my cycles would return to normal ASAP! Wishful thinking but DH is up for another month of BD so fx xxx
So sorry to the newcomers, it's so sad to see many more new posts but you are held within a big penguin huddle here xxx

Lilimum4 · 14/07/2018 21:34

Well that's me out this cycle hubby is away during fw all of it . typical lol starting to think its on purpose

strawberrye · 15/07/2018 06:16

@Lilimum4 me too, DH is literally the other side of the world for fertile week so there is no chance for us this cycle. Frustrating but I'm trying to see it as a month where I can relax and we can jks for the fun of it.

Lilimum4 · 15/07/2018 07:20

@strawberrye I know its horrified. I have to admit I really really miss him when he's away it.

Original poster
Boboelephant · 15/07/2018 07:33

So temp went up again and no AF... got excited for a split second, ran to take a frer and was almost blinded by the whiteness of another bfn. 😢 I have been tilting it every which way and holding it in front of the window and almost convincing myself every 5 seconds there might be something there (there's definitely not). I feel crazy.

OP posts:
doddlebobs · 15/07/2018 07:45

@Boboelephant put down the sticks! Your body is obviously playing hard to get this month! I'm sorry you keep seeing that white Space. I can really related to the squint! Hell, I've taken tests apart and shined torches through them to try and establish that much wanted news! Truth is I've never seen a 'squinter' - both my pregnancies shone up brightly first time I tested. May be a theme here - pregnancy 1 (my 18mo) was conceived cycle 4, a cycle in which we'd been having a month off! And pregnancy 2 was a wee surprise whilst actually trying to avoid fertile weeks! Perhaps less is more for us. It's all just a mystery.

RedRobin7 · 15/07/2018 07:46

@Boboelephant So sorry lovely, it's hard not to torture yourself when it's all you want to see. What day did you say your period is due?

I'm meeting my nephew today. I'm very excited to see him but I've also woken up in a panic about being a childless aunt. I don't want that to be me.

Original poster
Boboelephant · 15/07/2018 07:54

@doddlebobs thanks, I needed that. Good dose of reality! Ah I know, I also have fallen when not trying and tests have always been clear. Just don't know what my body is doing, it's really very mean!
@RedRobin7 AF due today, although I partly expected it yesterday as I had a shorter LP last month. It usually starts in the night. But even with no AF, I'm clearly out as otherwise it'd be a bfp by now.
Enjoy your cuddles and try to just focus on him. Your time will come hun!

OP posts:
sweetpea0318 · 15/07/2018 08:08

@boboelephant so sorry. This really sucks. I’m out too. Today is first day home after our mini holiday & woken up to af - talk about coming back down with bump ☹️ Feel so frustrated and my dh isn’t taking it well either. Urgh.

@Redrobin7 I’m sure it will be bittersweet today but hopefully it will still be lovely or you to meet your nephew and get some newborn cuddles. Good luck xx

strawberrye · 15/07/2018 08:10

@boboelephant argh how annoying that your body is just tempting you with high temps and still no AF! Sorry for the BFN. Sounds like your cycle this month is similar to mine last month. Sending hugs, I know how frustrating it is to see a preggo test which seems to be sponsored by the Daz "whiter than white" campaign!

@RedRobin7 good luck for meeting your nephew today and I hope you can enjoy the cuddles. You have been in my thoughts and I hope at least physically things are getting easier for you xx

@lilimum4 I know I just skyped DH and it gave me a real "missing him" pang! Going to enjoy the sunshine in the garden today to distract myself Smile

Original poster
Boboelephant · 15/07/2018 08:26

@sweetpea0318 thanks hun. So sorry af has arrived for you! 😢 I hope you had a lovely break. Yeah my DH is so hopeful too, it's so hard this constant hoping and being disappointed. Be kind to yourself today.
@strawberrye thanks hun. Yep body is messing with me this month! Last month I had spotting at 11dpo and af the next day so wasn't expecting to get to 13dpo. I had actually accepted I was out after bfn on Friday but yesterday I kept feeling nauseous and have just been so hot- still sweating all the time so I got hopeful again. Especially when temp shot up again. Ugghhh, it's so frustrating. Haha you did make me laugh with the daz comment though. Hope you enjoy the garden today! Sounds a good plan! 🌞

OP posts:
Lilimum4 · 15/07/2018 08:59

Sorry for the bfn's today Ladies. I'm going to enjoy the sun today. What are you all up to?

Mistymeow · 15/07/2018 09:13

@boboelephant sorry to hear that cycle buddy. My temp dipped today, still fairly high above cover line but I think I know where this is heading. Hard not to get your hopes up. I'm 12 dpo and af due on Tuesday. Holding off testing.

@strawberrye Daz whiter than white! Hah! So need humour at times like these. Thanks for making me laugh!

InDreamland · 15/07/2018 09:34

Sorry to read about all the BFNs and AF turning up. Fingers crossed you all have better news next month.

I'm still in bed. Got up to use the loo, pad is clean so no bleeding overnight but as soon as i did a wee more clots and blood. I have no idea what my body is doing at the moment. Feeling like a compete total useless failure. So gone back to bed. I'm usually up Sunday morning for church but can't face the world and really can't bring myself to go when I'm feeling so low and angry and disappointed with everything. From being so excited, happy and elated this is now probably the worst summer and year of my life ever.

InDreamland · 15/07/2018 09:36

@RedRobin7 I hope you can enjoy cuddles with your nephew today and stay strong x

Lilimum4 · 15/07/2018 09:44

@InDreamland sorry your feeling so rubbish hun. I hope you Start to feel better soon. Believe me you are not a useless failure, I'm sure everyone here has felt that way at some point during this journey. It does get better lovely I promise xx

KnitKitty · 15/07/2018 09:45

Ooohh! TedLife I like having a cycle twin!!! :D

Thank you zarala and boboelephant Blush, not sure what I've done to deserve those lovely compliments, but it's always nice to hear nice things, so thanks, you've both brightened my day. I find you lovely ladies equally sweetheartish. Smile

InDreamland Sending you more hugs. xxx

RedRobin7 Hugs xxx I think I remember you and your husband not being totally on the same page with your recovery during the last MC either. I think he's just eager to help you feel better and not quite doing it in the right way. I hope you two can manage to get more in sync again soon. Thinking of you today when you meet your nephew. xxx

Hi again Yukka! How are you?

Hi Lookingforhelpsh, it might be one of those wait a few days and see what happens, frustratingly. Best of luck, and sorry for your loss. xxx

Aww Lilimum4 and strawberrye that's so frustrating!!! I'm sorry. xxx Make the most of relaxing this month ladies. Give yourself lots of treats and concentrate on yourselves and your happiness with other things for a while.

Garrgh! Boboelephant that's so frustrating! I still have my fingers crossed for you. We'll see what happens, but try to take your mind off it for now.

Hugs sweetpea0318

Well didn't manage to DTD yesterday either, however OH surprised me this morning!!! (We NEVER have morning JKS!) So the big O should be tomorrow; I'm feeling hopeful that we're on track. In January we only DTD the day before and I fell pregnant then. So please keep your fingers crossed for me ladies!!!

Cakelaur · 15/07/2018 09:48

@Boboelephant I'm so sorry babe. But you're not out until AF shows. My first bfp was blazing positive at 10dpo. That one ended and this time I didn't get bfp until 15dpo, my temp dipped for two days thought af was starting then boom... bfp!! Weirder things have happened.

@RedRobin7 you're not going to be a childless aunt. You're going to be an amazing cool aunt, until your bub comes along. I had a similar thing. I lost my first pregnancy about a week before my best friend had her baby. And actually holding him brought me more joy than sadness. (Although I did sit there for a while just crying on him) Sending hugs. Hope today goes well.

Blondcat · 15/07/2018 10:06

@boboelephant sorry for another bfp.

@mistymeow af is due Tuesday for me too fx. I am not testing until after she is late as pretty sure she will arrive as usual and don't want the disappointment of a bfn that upsets me more than the witch appearing.

@redrobin7 hope today goes well I am sure there will be tears but you will be a great aunt until you have your own bub.

@sweetpea0318 sorry af got you.

Mistymeow · 15/07/2018 10:17

@indreamland I've been meaning to say to you that me and dh also have been trying for years. We have watched all of our friends have babies pretty much on their first attempt. When we fell pregnant this year we were absolutely overjoyed. I felt at peace, complete. The mmc found at 9weeks 4 days absolutely devastated us. It felt particularly cruel and I found the whole post miscarriage experience lonely. Three months on and I can honestly say I feel much better. I think what is keeping me going is the fact that we actually did it. Which means we can do it again. There is no evidence to suggest that a second pregnancy will end in miscarriage so I'm just focusing on moving forwards with complete faith that it can happen for us. I hope this reassures you a little, give yourself time to grieve xx

Original poster
Boboelephant · 15/07/2018 10:25

@Lilimum4 thanks hun. Sorting the house out for parents arriving this week and running through the sprinkler with DS are my plans!
@Mistymeow thanks cycle buddy! Hope you have good news on Tuesday! I'm usually good at holding off but terrible this month.
@InDreamland you're definitely not a useless failure and we have all felt like you are feeling now. It will get better. It sounds like your body is starting to let go so things are heading in the right direction. Just be kind to yourself, allow it to happen and don't pressure yourself to do anything that you don't feel ready for. Church will be there for you when you're ready to go back. For now just take care of yourself.
@ KnitKitty awww thanks ❤❤ Woohoo for morning JKS! Now you can go forward with your day feeling accomplished! 😂 I have EVERYTHING crossed for you.
@Cakelaur thanks love. As much as I am telling myself it's over I am desperately hoping it's just a late implanter! I do keep reminding myself you got yours at 15dpo, although you didn't actually test the few days before that did you? Fx it's my miracle!!! I'll be so gutted if it's just a random long LP though and then af comes.
@Blondcat well done on holding off too. Good luck for Tuesday!

OP posts:
fnej01 · 15/07/2018 10:52

Hi all, I can't keep up with all of the messages, but sending love and hugs to all those that need it.
I am just 3 weeks since miscarriage, and am feeling a lot more positive today. OH and I have been for a cheeky spa night away. Which apart from me needing a little cry at one point has been great, it was a nice cathartic cry. Finally got a negative pregnancy test which feels like a key milestone. And great to be back dtd. Finally starting to feel more like me again and reconnected. I'm sure there will be plenty of ups and downs ahead. Next milestone AF.
I just wanted to share how important it is to look after yourself and be kind to yourself and OH. Sending hugs to all.
Wishing you all a nice weekend xx

Cakelaur · 15/07/2018 11:16

@Boboelephant I tested at 12dpo and then didn't test 13 or 14. But 15dpo was mega mega faint. 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Mistymeow · 15/07/2018 11:24

I actually caved and took an ic test (first time I've used one if those, the Amazon ones). It was a bit weird. I thought it might be a squinter but I convinced myself it was a crease in the test and didn't bother with a picture. Hmm. I think I better wait until Tuesday as planned!

Hugs to those of you recovering from your miscarriages, you are all in my thoughts xx