TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

[Boboelephant]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

Boboelephant
Age: 35
TTC #2
DS 2.5
MMC at 10 weeks in December 2017. Ectopic rupture in November 2016.
Cycle 6 post MC. Trying since September 2016.

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Welcome to the group @seven201 really sorry that you find yourself here but hope you find some comfort in talking.
I completely hear you on being fed up! Too much forced sex and not enough wine... the ONLY consolation to AF appearing is that it means a lovely meal and bottle of wine (or two) for me and DH.
Also you're NOT old don't worry, but any extra help from the NHS is always good!

@boboelephant ah I see, sorry to hear that. Is there a plan in place going forwards? Potential fertility treatment? It's hard simply not knowing what's going on and why.

@laney that's interesting. Good that the nhs offer this service.

I'm 10 dpo but I actually don't want to test at all this weekend. I had a big temp spike today but I've been fooled before by alleged pregnancy symptoms. I find that a bfn ruins my day, would prefer to see af.

@Russkispy Ah I didn't realise you were doing IUI too! Glad you had a good experience.

@Halfbloodprincess I'm 2dpo so only a day behind you!

Thanks TedLife.

@Boboelephant sorry for the bfn! Still got my fingers crossed and remaining hopeful for you 🤞

@weasledee sorry af arrived but glad you’re out of limbo. Hope next cycle brings you better news!

Hi all

Sorry for any BFNs but fingers crossed for us all soon!

I had a BFN today and one day late (based on calculating my cycle from the day I MC’d). Very confused as got all the PMS/preg symptoms as last time. Has anyone had this before?

Many thanks!

@Boboelephant aw sorry but its only 11dpo! 🤞🤞
Look what my vet bought back!
They are soooo yummy😋😋

@fae1989 sorry to hear that. My second af post miscarriage gave me so many pregnancy symptoms I was convinced I was pregnant again. I was even a day late. Sadly I wasn't. I think it was my hormones adjusting and my uterus being sensitive post Erpc. Also since my miscarriage my cycles are now longer. It can take a while for your body to go back to normal. But you never know, try testing again in two days. Fx

Hi ladies, just checking in from honeymoon! Just to make you all jealous, here’s a pic 😬😂

Sorry I can’t keep up and respond to everyone although I have spotted a couple of BFN’s so sending love and hugs to you girls 💐 sorry to see the new joiners but this really is a great supportive group.

Just wanted to let you all know I’ve spotted the charity Tommy’s (for miscarriage and pregnancy loss) are doing a campaign to raise awareness called #togetherforchange so us ladies don’t feel alone during such tragic times...

www.facebook.com/tommys/videos/10156520503227329/

I haven’t shared it on social media yet as I don’t want to be inundated with comments and sympathy whilst I’m trying to enjoy my honeymoon. Spoken to husband (it’s weird calling him that!) and will most likely do it when we get home.

There’s also a support group which I’ve joined but again haven’t posted yet, just lurking for now.

I’m in a bit of a weird place right now. I’m meant to be happy and enjoying newly married life (the wedding day was AMAZING! and I’m desperately reliving every moment through pictures!) but I can’t seem to shake the sadness that it should’ve been our 12w scan on Monday gone (9th) and Wednesday (11th) would have been the 12w milestone 😔
There seems to be an abundance of pregnant ladies holidaying right now which isnt helping.
I think I’m also due AF 😩 I didn’t track OV this cycle as I don’t want to turn into a tracking maniac but it turns out it’s then harder to predict AF and any potential symptoms. I’ve been having cramps/pains for a couple of days now which at times are quite bad and most of the time are more left sided so I don’t know what the hell is going on 🤷‍♀️ CM seems to go from loads to none so I just don’t know what to expect.

Hope everyone is well and apologies again for not replying to everyone individually, you’re all in my thoughts though 😘 xx

@fae1989 and @Mistymeow I wonder is there something in the second cycle after MC being weird? My first cycle after MC was completely normal but the second I just had was really strange, much longer than usual and i spotted before AF started which has never happened to me before (just to mess with my head about implantation bleeding no doubt!). I wonder is it more common than we think?

@Boboelephant sorry for your BFN. I'm in the same boat. Although, fidn't expect a BFP after the BFN on Wed. Now to get AF out the way.....

I thought it was interesting what you said about being really fertile and now struggling. Is fertility treatment an option after losing a tube? I was fortunate to not require surgery during my ectopic.

This is only our 2nd month TTC this time. But last year I fell pregnant (3rd time) while on the pill (we decided to take 2017 'off' babies - the ectopic in 2016 was rough). Then, after that mc, had a period and conceived again straight away (also mc). I've taken it for granted that I'd fall quickly again but I'm prepared for that not being the case.

@InDreamland I understand what you were saying about just wanting everything physically over with so you can deal with the emotional. That's how I've coped with all my losses. Feeling physically better made me feel better equipped. It just seemed harder when I wasn't physically able to carry out my normal routines (going to the gym etc...).

@RedRobin7 I'm just catching up and sending you lots of love. What a time you've had. I hope your pain is easing x

There's been so much to catch up on to reply to everyone but sending out positive vibes to you all

@tedlife I do wonder too as my first af was relatively normal but quite painful. Second produced weird pregnancy like symptoms and low temperatures which made me feel like I didn't ovulate. My cycle length was slightly longer too. I'm approaching 3rd af and I've had light menstrual cramps since ovulation but temps look good and they have eased off now. I think it takes a while for our bodies to readjust.

Hi ladies,

Has anyone got a tattoo fairly soon after a MC? I wanted to get one after my first MC and now I've had another I want to go ahead with it whilst I'm signed off so it will have time to heal. Not sure if losing lots of blood will make it hurt more or anything? I haven't had a tattoo in 9 years so I've forgotten how painful it is. I want this new one by my ankle so I'm aware it'll hurt lol.

I'm thinking next Tuesday or Wednesday so maybe by then I won't be bleeding as heavy!

Hello all, just a quick note ... sorry to you all for the BFN's and AF is so cruel!!! I'm 3rd cycle post MC which had come after 20 days???? Never had such a short cycle before, on top of that I've splashed out £60 on digital ovulation kits, had multiple sex sessions which became robotic and it appeared I never ovulated as I never got my static smiley face!
Suffice to say I now deserve a bottle of Prosecco - I feel like such a failure!!! Totally on a downer but I'm sure most are in the same position so I feel guilty for feeling this way!
Sorry for sad post xx

@RedRobin7 I haven't had a tattoo done so soon after a mc but I have had one done in memory of my losses. I got parallel line done on my ribs (the 2 journeys travelling together but never meeting). It hurt soooooo bad 😖

What are you planning g on having done?

Ps, there was 16 years between my new tattoo and my last 😂

@RedRobin7 sorry, meant to add that you should speak to your artist. I think the biggest issue / concern would be if you're a higher risk of infection 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Bobzybaby Okay I'll give them a call to see what they think. I'm not going to tell my DH as I don't think he will approve so I'm just going to tell him after 😂

I want to get a feather by my ankle with two swallows flying next to it. I believe when a feather appears an angel is near. I know swallows represent souls being taken to heaven. I thought about getting it on my wrist but I'm always so hot at work and wear sleeveless tops all year round so it's probably unprofessional since I already have a tattoo on another wrist which I sometimes cover with a watch if I remember to put it on!

I remember the day I got my tattoo in memory of my friend who died and my ex's mum said she thought I'd regret it... 9 years on and still no regrets. What I love most is that everyone says I don't look like the type of person who would have a tattoo. I like surprising people!

@Bobzybaby Oh and your tattoo sounds lovely ❤️ I am a bit worried it'll hurt a lot by my ankle but it can't be any more painful than the heartbreak of multiple miscarriages!

@RedRobin7 your tattoo design sounds lovely! Have you had an artist sketch it already?

I started to think about my tattoo after my 2nd loss and read a story about a woman who had got parallel lines for the same reason. I sat on it for almost a year and half to make sure I really considered my design etc... in that time I lost 2 more. Sounds like you're defo sure and I've got to say, it genuinely gave me peace of mind to have it done. It feels like it helped to free up a bit of my headspace because it was now on my body (if that makes sense?!).

My first ever tattoo (at 16 years old 🙊) was on my ankle. In my opinion it was the least painful in comparison to my back and ribs. Like you say though, the physical pain is nothing compared to what we've experienced. And that will get you through it!

@gps76 cycles can be all over the place for a while after an MC which is really annoying especially since we all just want to work out best time to dtd and get pregnant all the more after an MC! I hope your cycle settles. I suppose at least it was a short cycle without ovulating rather than a long one with no ovulation but it's little consolation I'm afraid :-(

Hi ladies!
I had my mw appointment today but started with some brown spotting this morning. Mw and consultant weren't concerned and detected a UTI so have sent sample for testing, but I am absolutely past myself. Feeling every single twinge! I fainted after having blood taken too so all in all a successful appointment 🙈

Hubby and I were hugely impressed with th care we received even this early on. I've been booked in for a viability scan on the 26th, will have another at 10 and 12 weeks, then booked in at 17 and 20 then regular ones after, but was also told that if at any point I need reassurance to just turn up to clinic on a Friday and they'll scan me there and then.

I need to start my heparin injections around 10 weeks so will be seeing the consultant again at that point.

I can't help but feel totally panicky today, I literally don't want to leave the house for fear of something happening, so for now I'm just hoping and praying we get to that point!!

Love all your tattoo ideas too, I have one in mind but obviously need to wait until bubs is here safe and sound before I have it done now (PMA is all I'm working on!)

Xxx

@KnitKitty thanks so much hun. Your message was lovely. I think you are the lovely supportive one! I'm sure you're right, I'm just getting impatient! It frustrates me so much too that what the professionals call 'bad luck' has had such huge repercussions.
@strawberrye, @TinyPaws, @hayleyfx thanks so much
@TedLife thanks hun. That's so kind. Fx for you this month, sounds like you have all bases covered.
@TheHalfBloodPrincess yep LP should stay the same- maybe give or take a day.
@seven201 welcome and sorry for your loss. If it makes you feel better, I'm also 35 with one DC but the docs told me that I still had to wait 1 year because 6 months is only for 35+ with no children! So I'm still old but have to wait til I'm even older!
@Mistymeow no plan really as the gynae said to just keep trying. Apparently if we are not pregnant by Dec- one year after the last loss- they'll cut me open to check my tube. It's invasive and risky so not ideal but had everything else looked at. Fx it doesn't come to that. Your temp rise sounds very promising- fx!!
@YellowDaffodils86 thanks hun. I don't think there is much chance but still crossing everything. Ahh enjoy- they are so yummy!!
@littleemma1 glad you're having a lovely honeymoon. Just try and focus on that and what will be will be with your cycle.
@Bobzybaby sorry you got a bfn too. No idea really, even though I have one tube docs aren't worried as I have been pregnant since then. And I guess with ivf, whilst it may make it to the womb, I could still miscarry. Ah who knows, it's all so unknown!
@GPS76 sorry af got you and such a short cycle. You're not a failure. Plenty of women have strange cycles and skip ovulation after MC. Fx for next month, enjoy that prosecco!

@Boboelephant I see, I just wondered if it was different when you've lost a tube. I've been told that I don't require IVF because I don't have a fertility issue. I fall pregnant but can't seem to stay pregnant. So they've said IVF would be pointless as the chances of a miscarriage would be higher than if I actually fell pregnant by myself.

Any time I speak to someone about my losses they immediately ask if I'll go down that route and I'm just like "I can't, it's not an option for me" 🤷🏼‍♀️ I think unless people are in this position they don't get how complex it can actually be!

@Boboelephant sorry for your bfn hun (((hugs)))

@MrsLCW thanks for keeping us up to date I love hearing from the ladies with the bfp's

@RedRobin7 the tattoo sounds lovely when its done you must post a pic if it x

@Bobzybaby I really don't know. We feel a bit lost because as far as the specialists are concerned I don't have a fertility problem either. Hard to swallow when you've been trying for almost 2 years! Because I fell first month trying with DS and carried to term they say that they know that I can deliver a baby. My second pregnancy was the ectopic so that is considered just very bad luck. The tube removal lowered my chances but didn't remove them. Then because I was pregnant again they say that shows my remaining tube is fine. Again the MC was bad luck. Even though it took 9 months actively trying last year and we're on month 7 now they say that ttc within a year is normal. So... a whole lot of normal and docs say I don't need intervention as the two losses were not related and I don't have a recurrent problem. Just bad luck apparently.
Have they been able to find any reason for why you have had multiple MC's? Can they help when you fall again?
@Lilimum4 thanks hun.