TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

[Boboelephant]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

Boboelephant
Age: 35
TTC #2
DS 2.5
MMC at 10 weeks in December 2017. Ectopic rupture in November 2016.
Cycle 6 post MC. Trying since September 2016.

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@boboelephant and @weasledee so sorry for the bfn/AF arrival. It just seems so unfair. It's all just such a slog.

@Boboelephant and @weasledee Oh no! So sorry - what a horrid end to the week :( xx

@Mistymeow not entirely sure-but I think it's a meeting with a consultant about your choices. I guess it's for women like me who request something unusual-so a csection or perhaps a MLU or home birth despite being higher risk? From what the lady on the phone said its a chat through why you feel the way you do, and why you want what you want then discussions of risks before coming to some kind of agreement on a way forward. Not sure-will report back X

Done the pregnancy test and still shows positive. Think it’s too early to test and because of all progesterone I was takin for 8 weeks!?! Called EPU and she told me to retake it in a week 😢 it’s it unusual to still have positive after D&C 2 weeks ago?

@Boboelephantand@weasledee sending hugs! I abstinent understand the disappointment after taking 5 years to get pregnant and those feelings of despair. Hope next month brings you what you long for x

Thanks for the thoughts ladies, I'm more relieved than fed up this time.

Decided full on sexathon from day 8!

Thanks ladies, you're lovely and supportive as ever 🐧🐧
@weasledee sorry af arrived but glad that there is not anything wrong!
@RedRobin7 thankyou. Hope today goes ok for you.
@Laney79 thankyou. That sounds stressful, I'm glad you got to talk to someone and they are listening to you.
@Cakelaur thanks hun. Temp is still high above coverline but FF is now calling it a downward trend. The last few days it has gone up, down, up etc but making it's way down overall. Also my temp doesn't usually drop below coverline until after AF has started. Pretty sure I'm out. It was a frer and my boobs have stopped hurting.
@Mistymeow thankyou. Yep 11dpo but I only have a 12 day LP, only 11 last month. I have a DS who was an easy pregnancy but had all the tests as after my EP (which I also fell with immediately) I lost a tube and it took a year to fall again. That sadly was my MMC. They said everything looks fine and they can't explain why I went from super fertile with my first 2 pregnancies to not seeming to be able to fall anymore.
@Jessabean thanks hun x Hope this is your month.
@Blondcat, @Newbie21, @Kintan thankyou all.
@InDreamland thankyou. I can't imagine 5 years you poor thing. I've been trying for almost 2 now with 2 losses and it just feels like an eternity.
@Russkispy it can take a few more weeks. Generally EPU's say 3 weeks so hopefully not much longer.

And just wanted to say sorry for AFs and BFNs. No words to comfort but we must get going!

Thank you @bobo. Thought it might be too early with all that progesterone but since I’m too new to MC, I followed the hospital’s instructions. Will wait till next week. In the meantime, my father arrived last night for 2 weeks and already playing with my little DD. And that’s a nice distraction. No need to think about DTD just yet and with that bloody positive test anyway.

I'm so sorry Boboelephant. You're not quite out of the running yet though... Until AF shows you can't be 100% sure, but I know your heart will have sunk through your feet at the sight of BFN this morning and I'm sending you massive hugs. I feel like everyone on this thread wants your BFP just as much as their own. As Jessabean said, you're so supportive to us all!
I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with you, I think probably you ovulate a lot more on the side with no tube, and of course even when you do ovulate on the good side you're not guaranteed to get pregnant straight away. I feel for you that it might be a longer road to success, but I honestly believe it will happen for you. It's just it taking so long is so hard!
Can you save up to have tests done privately in the mean time?

I'm sorry and glad for you weasledee that AF finally showed up. It sucks that she took so long to arrive this month, but I'm glad she finally came so you can move on to the next cycle. Here's hoping for a good new cycle for you!

Laney79 I'm sorry you've had this stressful news, but glad they're not just fobbing you off. I hope everything works out for the best for you. xxx

RedRobin7 Thinking of you today. xxx

Jessabean I just held my nose and gulped it all down as quickly as possible this morning! haha! Yesterday I sipped at it and it was a mistake, the first mouthful is actually the least disgusting. If I don't get a BFP this cycle I'm not going to try this again next cycle!!! lol
Good luck with the JKSing!!! Fingers crossed for you!

Russkipsky I had my first negative 4 weeks after ERPC. No, it's not unusual but it sucks. Hugs xxx I was told to test 2-3 weeks after. Two weeks after it was still positive to I gave myself another week. It was still positive at three weeks and I rang EPU. They told me to test again in 4 days time and it was still positive so they booked me in for the following week to do a test and possible scan at the hospital. When they tested at the hospital it was finally negative so I didn't need the scan, but a doctor saw me after just to check how I was doing with it all and to reassure me which was nice. I can't fault the EPU I went to, they were lovely from start to finish... And my road was a very long one!

Sorry, spelt your name wrong Russkispy

@weasledee glad your AF has brought you some closure to your limbo and the fresh start in a new cycle

@boboelephant I'm gutted for you. I know you feel it's unlikely but remember it's not over until the fat (red) lady sings

@Blondcat Since my MMC in March I've not had sore boobs either. Really weird!

@Laney79 It took me ages to fall asleep last night because of the pain but thankfully I managed to drift off and this morning I'm in less pain.

Really sorry you've had the worry about the policy changing. Hopefully you will get all the support you need when the time comes.

@Mistymeow @jessabean Thank you x

@Russkispy I had a positive a couple of weeks after my D&C in March so they scanned me to confirm nothing had been left behind. It was all clear and eventually my levels went back to normal and I finally saw a negative.

@KnitKitty Seen your message and will reply soon.

I told my brother in law this morning about the miscarriage and asked him to tell my sister when I felt she was strong enough to deal with it. He told her straight away and she's so upset for me and has said she understands if I am not ready to meet my nephew yet. I've reassured her I will be okay to meet him on Sunday.

Just been to the hospital for a blood test and then my DH got my a Costa and now the coffee has made me feel awful. Not managing to eat much as every time I eat I get a horrendous tummy ache.

Sorry about the BFN Boboelephant and sorry to everyone else that's had bad news too - there seems to have been a lot of it on this thread recently!

I had my IUI on Wednesday so 2dpo now. Trying to distract myself as time is moving sooooo slowly!

@Redrobin7 you sound like such a strong amazing person but still sending you hugs as we all need a hug given our experiences x

I thought last night I was actually going to start properly bleeding but nothing so far overnight or this morning. I think now having been few days since that awful moment we had the scan showing we'd lost the baby I just want the mc to be over with ASAP so I can recover sooner rather than later physically to allow me to concentrate on the emotional side of things.

@Boboelephant Oh love, i'm so sorry about your bfn, you approach each new cycle with such positivity. I'm sure others feel the same way but I eagerly opened this thread this morning to hear your news. We're so there for you and sending you positive vibes. I echo what @KnitKitty said though, it may be a little more difficult for you because of your tube but I know you'll get there. Plus with no AF you're not out yet so keep us updated but if she does show, look after yourself make sure you do something nice for you xx

Got my static smiley this morning on CB advanced so we're all go now. DH is off on a stag do tomorrow but it's just one night so going to grab him this eve, in the morning and when he gets back on Sunday to hopefully cover us. Have to say, following SMEP has been a lot easier on us this month, the break in between helps you relax again and doesn't put as much pressure on us. That being said, we're about to do the three days in a row so the calm feelings might not last!
Not looking forward to the TWW, at least during FW you have something to do!

@knitkitty, thank you for your message. I’m just glad I’ve enjoyed this thread as I didn’t need know where else to turn. In general I was told to expect AF in 6 weeks or so and I know we’re all different.
@Tinypaws, what made you go for IUI. Is it you first one?
On average, from your experiences, how soon one gets BFP after a MC. For some over 40+? And how long have you TTC so far?

@Russkispy We're using donor sperm due to being in a same sex relationship. It's my 3rd IUI (#1 was BFN, #3 was BFP but pregnancy ended in silent miscarriage).

@TedLife I've just read the article yoy posted a link to. So many heart breaking stories. I hope it is the start of a wider media campaign to share and highlight the challenges that we all go through.

My ff chart changed this morning and has put me at 3dpo.

Can I just ask, it the luteal phase supposed to be the same every cycle or are there variations? Last cycle I wasn’t temping, but got a positive opk on 12th June and af on 25th June (13 days) so just wondering when to test. This cycle I got a positive opk on the 9th and ovulated same/next day so would it be worth testing on the 13th day (22nd) even though af isn’t due until the 25th? Or have I got my sims wrong (huge possibility)

*sums not sims

Can I join please.

I'm 35 with 1 dc.
Trying since January 2018
Early miscarriage in March, cycles mucked up for a while after.
On cycle 7 ish.
Had blood tests recently - all fine. Not worried but you're allowed to see the gp after 6 months if you're old (can't believe I'm old at 35).

I'm fed up of all the sex and not being able to drink much in the 2ww

@Tinypaws, are you doing IUI in the UK. I had mine back home, in Riga. The care is just outstanding! So is the aftercare. And cheaper than here. Hope it’s BFP for you this time! And for everyone else!