TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

[Boboelephant]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

Boboelephant
Age: 35
TTC #2
DS 2.5
MMC at 10 weeks in December 2017. Ectopic rupture in November 2016.
Cycle 6 post MC. Trying since September 2016.

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Hi everyone.

Sorry I've been a bit quite for a while but lurking on and off. Has been pretty busy with work and a house move at the mo.
@RedRobin7 I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this stress. The waiting game for figuring out what's happening with this stuff is agonising & I know is so hard to try and stay positive when you've had a previous loss so won't tell you not to worry. I just really really hope for you that all is ok. As the others have said though spotting and lack of symptoms can happen in a perfectly healthy pregnancy so is no reason to think that it is definitely happening again at the moment. How far along are you at the moment?

@MisBit1 tentative congratulations! 🎉 that looks like a BFP to me! I hope your follow up FRER or digital confirms it.

@littleemma1 congratulations on your wedding day you looked beautiful!

@KnitKitty I'm also bored waiting for fw.
Am CD8 at the mo. Hoping to try out SMEP this time round though OH isn't back till tomorrow/day after so having to skip the first try. Have given OH warning about the amount of JKS and the fact that I'm going to be pouncing in him once he gets back!
Also trying the grapefruit thing though not starting it till he comes back as I want to save myself the pain a little longer!

Love the positivity thoughts happening. I've been trying to do this a lot lately to keep myself positive & stop myself stressing about this stuff. Am so grateful for my OH. We've been together since we were 16 & he knows me better than I know myself at times. He keeps me sane & has literally been my rock especially since all of this stuff. He's literally just letting me choose when to start again and supporting me with all this crazy TTC stuff- with just a little teasing! Am also thankful for my family and in laws who are all so supportive. Also have an amazing bunch of friends. Also thankful for my career- even if it is a pain in the arse at times with the endless exams! Has given me some great opportunities & experiences in life & lets me have a comfortable life at the end of the day.

I'm CD10 and not JKSing yet Jessabean. Don't want to wear out OH before I need the good stuff!
Didn't find any grapefruit juice. Forgot to look again. Not sure I'll bother. We'll see.

Sorry if TMI but my sex drive really went down after MC, anyone else?
I feel like I might be more in the mood this cycle. But OH and I haven't really been in sync for the past couple of months. It's partly why I gave myself last month off as I just really didn't feel like we were in the right rhythm together, if that makes any sense?
Anyway, hoping OH is feeling more up for it at the end of this week as I may be trying to pounce on him a few times. Just hoping it might be a bit cooler on the run up to O because hot weather puts us both off too.

Random question for those who have DCs already...
Were they born around the same time of year as you or your OH?
In my family my sister and I are both December babies, as is my dad. My OH's family are all born in April-June time (OH, two siblings and their dad).
I was just hoping that maybe it means I should be expecting to have a spring/summer baby. (Yes, I know, pulling at straws and being a bit crazy...) Was just curious.

Knitkitty our family is like that, DH is November, as is DS, DD is Jan and I am Feb. The baby we lost would have been Dec, so all winter. My sister is Feb and my dad Jan. All winter birthdays. I have thought about this before and I do think there is something in it. Means I've missed the boat now though and won't have any luck again until next spring when I'll be 42! May be too late by then arrrgggghhhh

Good luck for fw @Jessabean and @KnitKitty!! I hope I'm pregnant and don't have to drink grapefruit juice again next month but I do think it might have helped.
@KnitKitty my DS is not born around our birthdays but his due date and the two I lost are all really close which means they were all conceived around DH and my birthdays- which are close together. Haha must be all the birthday celebrations!

Thanks @boboelephant @robin78 @Laney79 for your kind words.

@TedLife I am pleased for my friend, I really am, I’m just sad for me. -There’s a tiny, horrible bit of me that’s also a bit annoyed – my friend is overweight, doesn’t exercise and drinks a fair bit of alcohol, whilst I try to keep active, keep my weight in the healthy range and rarely drink, why can’t I be pregnant too? That’s my deepest horrible green eyed monster talking and I hate myself for feeling it, but I feel like here is the place I can let those thoughts go.

Sorry I’ve not been chatting much on here, I have been lurking and reading everyone’s messages but have been finding things difficult so have decided to remain quiet rather than post and bring people down. Toying with the idea of taking a break from mumsnet this cycle as it’s a non-starter with DH being away, but I don’t think I can stop myself from checking in!

Things I am grateful for:

My DH who is funny, silly and very supportive. The fact I am lucky enough to live in a nice house in a pleasant area. That my health (apart from fertility related stuff) is generally good, touch wood. I have a challenging but stimulating career. My family. The NHS, for providing care to everyone irrespective of their income or social class, for saving my life, and for being my employer! The fact that in less than 4 weeks I am moving on from my current job placement (lots of unsocial hours in a place I don’t really enjoy) to a placement which is of more interest and use to my career (plus has more normal hours so hopefully the better fertility and less risk of miscarriage which comes with not having to work night shifts etc).

Hi all, joining because I feel really sad and would love to talk to some people who have been through similar
31 years old, had a MMC in early June discovered at my 12 week scan, and ERPC 2 days later. It was my first conception, and had had absolutely no sign of anything being wrong so it was a real shock. Now just waiting for ovulation/AF to happen so we can start TTC again - it’s been 5 weeks and am very impatient!

@Boboelephant the grapefruit juice thing can I just eat the fruit as quite like it and how long do you take it

@helloviriods welcome. Sorry you find yourself here but hope that you find some strength and comfort from this lovely group.

@knitkitty My daughter and I share a birthday! That was one hell of a present haha! Our bdays are in December. The baby I lost was due end of November. I hope the next pregnancy doesn't follow suit or I'm in for quite a bit of a wait for another winter baby. However i took 7 months to fall pregnant both times I've been preg so I wouldn't be surprised if it takes me the same again - that would mean getting bfp in Nov which would be around my due date. I'm hoping that thinking like this will help me not get too down with the bfns hmmmm...

@strawberrye I would feel the exact same way. We all have those thoughts sometimes. Take a break if you need to but we are all here for you!
@helloviriods welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss.
@Limum4 hmm not sure! Everything I read said juice but I don't see why not. You have it from end of af to ovulation. It is supposed to increase your EWCM.
@sweetpea0318 I have the same worry that I can only pregnant around October. Hope I break the cycle this month!

@boboelephant 🤞we can break the cycles! It's amazing how superstitious you can get with all this stuff!

@sweetpea0318 i know!!! Fingers crossed it's both our months! I can't quite remember- are you about 6dpo? When will you test?

Hello all, I've been lurking in the background this cycle since far as I'm on a bit of a downer! I am currently CD17 and on my 6th day of flashy smiley faces on digital OPK. It's really frustrating as my cycles are between 26-28 days so I'm confused as to why I've not ovulated yet? We've been DTD eatery night for last week and we are both exhausted, I'm not sure DH can take any more! I know we should have probably DTD every second night as per SMEP until static smiley face but I keep thinking I've missed it so we just need to keep DTD! Oh it's frustrating and starting to really get me down!
Hope everyone is well and good luck to all this in the TTC window too !
Good luck to all those in the TWW , I'm looking forward to that so we can chill out xx

@HelloViroids welcome to the thread. Your experience sounds really like mine, it's devastating and incredibly frightening especially with it being your first time being pregnant. This thread has helped me a lot though so feel free to air your worries.

I'm on CD11 now and following SMEP. I don't know about you guys but this heat is really making it a challenge to jks! DH is being a champ though and up for anything which is nice and takes the pressure off. Trying to be a bit more zen this cycle and genuinely feeling a bit like i'm back to my old self which is a nice and pleasant change. Ovulation really does bring out the best in us I think!

@boboelephant yep I'm 6dpo today. We're off for a little mini break to France on weds which will be a good distraction from testing early so I'm currently thinking that I won't test until af is def late so the following Monday or Tuesday. Let's see how that goes ha! How about you? What are you planning to do?

@gps76 sorry you're feeling down. It's so tricky trying to time it right. This month I didn't get positive opk until 3 days later than usual so we were the same as you & risked burning out too soon. Hopefully you'll get your static smiley soon. At least you know you've covered all the build up to ov which is arguably the most important bit anyway.

@tedlife yep I hear you! The combination of heat and more drinking in the sun than normal tends to send me to sleep rather than want to get busy. Glad you're feeling positive- keep hold of that feeling!

Just wanted to say hi, I am 42 with my angel baby born 24 April 2018 and died 6 may 2018. So here I am ttc again-as age is not on my side. I still haven't had a period yet - when did you guys get yours back after your angel babies? Xxx

Just wanted to say hi, I am 42 with my angel baby born 24 April 2018 and died 6 may 2018. So here I am ttc again-as age is not on my side. I still haven't had a period yet - when did you guys get yours back after your angel babies? Xxx

@GPS76 sorry you've been feeling down. I can't remember how recently you had your MC but cycles can be messed up for the first 6 months. I had a really late ovulation cycle 3. Hope you get your static smiley soon. Maybe just take a break tonight and start again when you get the static smiley.
@TedLife I know what you mean. It's so hot- although I think DH liked the extra heat factor! 🤣 Glad you're feeling more like yourself. I've definitely tried to be alot more Zen this month.
@sweetpea0318 ah great timing!! Enjoy!! Wish I had a distraction. I can feel myself becoming consumed. AF due Sunday so maybe Saturday- although possibly Friday! I'll see what my temp does.

@Angelbabyollie welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss.
I got my for AF 33 days but it can take months lovely.
I hope you find this group of very supportive ladies of some comfort.

@Angelbabyollie I'm so sorry for your loss. I got mine 32 days after my MC but it could be alot longer if your baby was full term. We are all here for support.

@YellowDaffodils86 bean is good. Nice strong heartbeat that I listen in on every day. It stops me booking scans every two weeks. Although I'm DYING for another scan! I'm now 17 weeks today.

@Mistymeow I feel a little better now. I'm over my big milestone of 16 weeks. Weeks 8 through 15 were tough, mega mega sickness, albeit reassurance. And now I'm just waiting for kicks which I'm desperate for. I'm still terrified and refuse to buy anything big. I've been given loads of hand me down baby clothes from my best friend. But we aren't going to buy anything until I'm 8months. I just don't feel that safe yet. But I am of course so so thankful to be in this position and every day it does get easier.
Just hoping with all my heart that all of you ladies get to be in my shoes soon.

Looks like loads of people testing this Friday!! It's gonna be an awesome POAS FRIDAY!! Positive thoughts = positive womb = positive test!!! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@KnitKitty my OH, his sis and his dad are all born the same day in March, which is also his parents anniversary!! Haha!!! And the rest of them are all December. The bub we lost was due August (obviously didn't fit the mould) now this bub is due December. But also it's due exactly a year on from the positive pregnancy test of our last bub. Which makes my heart melt!! I'm a big believer in "dates".

@angelbabyollie so sorry for your loss and I hope this group helps. It is definitely a very supportive bunch.

I'm on CD 16 - should have ovulated yesterday or day before but feel like it might have been this morning. I'm not very in tune with my signs and I decided not to do any testing this cycle and just do the bd a lot whilst on holiday. Idea was the be all chilled although now I keep thinking we need to keep doing it just in case my cycle is totally random this month so much for playing it cool!

My AF will be due on 21st, my DS' 2nd birthday so whatever happens it will be a nice day and I will keep positive.

Good luck to all approaching the end of the TWW fx for you all.

Thanks @sweetpea0318 and @Boboelephant for your kind words, they really mean a lot! this is cycle 2 following MC so I guess they can be all over the place, might give tonight a miss, xx
@Angelbabyollie I got my first AF 35 days after MC. So sorry for your loss x sending you virtual hugs xx

@Cakelaur I'm so happy for you. Can't believe you are 17 weeks already! Hope you feel those kicks soon!
@Newbie2 glad you are trying to be positive. I'm sure you'll have a lovely day with your DD regardless.

Must keep repeating positive thoughts for the next 4 days. Eek!

@angelbabyollie welcome and sorry for your loss. My af took 5 weeks after mc. The waiting is really hard but we’re here for support x

DH and I are staying in a fancy hotel the last weekend of July (booked aaaages ago) and AF is due that Friday (figures...). So it'll be either a happy celebration if she doesn't show or a bit of a blow out if she does - wine and gin all round methinks! Anyway just thought it was funny because i seriously struggled when explaining the situation to him not to call my period 'aunt flo' - this board has completely rubbed off on me! I don't think i've ever heard anyone in real life call it aunt flo!