TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

[Boboelephant]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

Boboelephant
Age: 35
TTC #2
DS 2.5
MMC at 10 weeks in December 2017. Ectopic rupture in November 2016.
Cycle 6 post MC. Trying since September 2016.

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Thank you @hellotoyellow. I hate this limbo but I bought it on myself. I don't want to stress DH out by trying to rationalise out loud. He's so lovely and supportive and I so wish I had good news to give him. My cycle pre mmc was 27 days but I believe it may be longer now as I ovulated two days later than before. I'm 12DPO which may explore faint lines on FRER and nothing on the 25iuml as yet but I don't think I could allow my hopes to rise again for the time being. I'm good to try and keep myself busy over the weekend and retest on Monday if AF hasn't shown by then. I've not told anyone about this situation apart from DH as my family were so upset about my mmc and I couldn't let them be upset again, it would break my heart to have to deliver more bad news so I'm going to try and keep busy until I can figure out what's going on. Thank you all for your advice and support. I think I'd feel so lonely going through this without the huddle x

@Laney79 sorry you got that email. What a kick in the guts. And I'm so sorry that DH isn't up to it. I get get you're crushed but I don't think it's over for you. I'm sure it will all work out but maybe you just need a bit more time. And in no way did you fail!!!
@Robin78 I'm glad they took you seriously and have made a change. Sorry af arrived.
@Tefiti2 I check my cervix although I'm not sure how much it tells me!
@hayleyfx so glad bubs is doing well!! 😀
@Pancakes7 as @Cakelaur said it's entirely possible that your body was gearing up to ovulate but didn't complete. You could have EWCM and positive opk and then ovulation not happen. Sounds like it might be happening now.
@SunshineSparklesSmiles it is possible if you are using more sensitive tests now. Its also possible it's a new one and too early for other test to pick up. Unfortunately there's no real way of knowing until af either arrives or doesn't. Fx it's a new one.
@Happysbno4 and @xJune88 welcome and so sorry for your losses.
@Lilimum4 sorry for bfn and that you're feeling low. 🐧
@RedRobin7 sorry you're feeling so anxious. Have you joined the pregnant after mc board? They should understand your anxiety better than the March board.

Sorry you are both feeling so down @Lilimum4 and @Laney79 I absolutely hate AF as blood (sorry) just reminds me of my MC too I think that’s the worst bit.
I’m 12dpo and BFNs on ICs so far. I’ve got all my usual AF symptoms as well, boobs sore, face is breaking out, and CM is becoming watery. FML! Xx

@fnej01 sorry I missed you. I'm not totally sure but I have heard that you can still ovulate with a small amount of hcg in your blood so it's a good sign as if so it means that you're almost getting back to normal physically. Fx for next cycle for you.
@Ells0204 sorry for bfn. They suck.

@Boboelephant thanks for reply I think its just hcg triggering it, consulted google, but definitely feel like hormones kicking in which I think is a good sign. Hopefully AF is on track soon and then we are back in the game.

@Lilimum4 I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I mostly cope well with everything going on. However, I do get days like you're describing where it all seems so hopeless! Trying to get pregnant after the trauma of mc is such a rollercoaster and can be all consuming. The thing that keeps me most sane is focusing on the beautiful things in my life that are not related to pregnancy. It keeps me in the present and reminds me that life is good even if it's not going the way I want. But I would also recommend joining the waiting list for counselling - 6 months seems a long time but it'll be here before we know it!

@SunshineSparklesSmiles Please don't give yourself such a hard time. You have enough going on without giving the additional guilt of everyone else's feelings. Time will reveal all but be kind to yourself in the mean time.

Thank you for your kind words @Bobzybaby. I know I'm being a little impatient really and the odds are against me on this occasion if I'm honest with myself but I'm so hoping we've caught ourselves an egg. I will try to remain positive but do my best to mentally prepare for AF's arrival. I am so thankful to have found such a supportive and caring group. You're all superstars and wishing for baby dust for you all x

Morning everyone. I've never woken up with no new posts so just posting to check there's not an upload issue! I may have a mumsnet addiction

Maybe the heats done everyone in! Haha. How are ya @Boboelephant

@Boboelephant I think the combo of heat / weekend / football may have done everyone in!

I was thinking the same! I thought perhaps the site was down or running slow this morning for some reason. Nothing new to report here - 5dpo and feeling quite calm for once (although it's early days so lots of time still for the crazy to kick in!)

@boboelephant I know I am shocked I usually have trouble keeping up!

I am on approx 5dpo but as only dtd once during fw think v unlikely for me therefore this month so just enjoying the hot weather and waiting for af to start a fresh next month.

Hope everyone is OK.

Hi all,

Sorry not posting as much these days. I am still trying to keep up with the thread and I've been sending cyber hugs and positive thoughts to those who need them. There's so many newbies it's been hard to keep up. I'm so sorry you've all found yourself here, but it's so comforting to know you're not alone in all this.

Not much happening on my end. Still waiting for FW to start. Yawn.

Last month I wasn't properly TTC and was focusing more of getting some balance back. This month I'm back on the TTC train but I'm determined to stay as peaceful as possible about it so I'm trying not to obsess too much and focus more on other things.

I'm expecting to ovulate on or around the 16th July, and since DTD too often is a touchy subject with OH my plan is basically to try and make it happen on the 13th and 15th. I think that will give me the best chance. Does this sound like a good plan? Or should I change the days to 14th and 16th?

Whereabouts is everyone in their cycle?

RedRobin7 I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious. Have you been in touch with EPU about your concerns, could they do an earlier scan? Every pregnancy is different, remember. PM me if you need. Hugs xxx

Hello all!! Glad all are well, definitely heat and football @Bobzybaby!
@Cakelaur I'm ok although a bit fragile today after too much celebrating yesterday! I'm 6dpo and temps are sky high so starting to get hopeful. But it's also possible that they were so high today due to the heat and too much prosecco so must be realistic.
@sweetpea0318 and @Blondcat we're all close. Fx!!!
@KnitKitty glad you're doing ok. I have found it hard to keep up too- we've had a record number of joiners I think. Keep meditating and trying to be calm. I think your plan sounds great. Just walk into the bedroom in some sexy knickers! 👍
@littleemma1 congratulations hun. You look beautiful and so happy. Love the flag pic too! 😂

@littleemma1 gorgeous pics, you look stunning! Congratulations x

Just checking in ladies. AF is due today or tomorrow. Impatience got the better of me and I did a cleat blue digital yesterday afternoon which read 'pregnant 1-2 weeks' but still have no idea if that's left over hcg from last month. Took a tesco test today and there's a very faint line that both DH and I can make out. Getting a few pulling pains in lower abdomen so not sure if AF is on her way. I guess time will tell.

@littleemma congratulations! X

Congratulations @littleemma1! Your dress is beautiful x

Hi everyone
Is it ok if I rant

So AF arrived and I'm understandably very upset and pissed off. DH says oh you came on so I say yep like clock work every effing month. DH says you sound pissed off what's the matter? Needless to say I did not reply I went a balled my eyes out in the green house. Why are men so brainless and thoughtless some times

@littleemma1 gorgeous pics! I get all giddy when I look at wedding pics i love them.

Uh, I’m going crazy. I posted yesterday morning saying I had a BFN on an IC which it was. I did another at 5pm and the faintest shadow came up in the time limit. Done another this morning with FMU and the same thing but it did come up sooner. It’s so faint I’m struggling to capture it on my camera and I can see no colour too it. Could be grey could be pink I have no idea. They aren’t getting darker either! I was just thinking recently, the only thing I love about ICs is their sensitivity is a bit useless however I’ve never got an evap or a false positive. And now I think I’ve jinxed it! These ones are a new batch and I’m worried I’ve got a load of duds with indents or evap lines. All my typical AF symptoms are here so I’m certain she’s coming maybe tomorrow or Tuesday. Going out of my mind!!

@Lilimum4 I just don't think men get it at all. They don't understand that a period signifies a 'loss' (for want of a better expression?!). My husband just seemed to focus on all my PMS symptoms and not what that actually represents. They can be so thoughtless.

If it helps, I spoke to my husband about it and explained how I feel when I get a period and he's been super understanding since. I think they just need it spelled out to them sometimes.

I'm sorry AF has come for you

@Bobzybaby thanks hun at least you lovely ladies understand.

Honestly I don't know what I would do without this group.

None of my family and friends know we are trying so I can't talk to anyone other than the hubby but he just doesn't understand any of it. He's a it'll happen if its supposed to kind of guy so laid back its stupid

warriorbutterfly85.wordpress.com/

My friend writes a blog, i though some of you might enjoy some of her posts.

Iv been following the thread, just struggled to keep up with posting. Congratulations on the recent bfps!!

@yellowdaffodils thanks for the link. I've read through some of the posts and they really strike a chord. Not just for my current post-mc situation but also my sister who struggled for years with pcos & trying to conceive. She was one of the lucky ones as second round ivf worked & she's due in a couple of months now but I remember talking to her so many times about the frustrations that she was doing everything right and still wasn't getting there. It's such a rough old journey for some of us. Glad your friend has an outlet for what she's going through and wish her the best of luck.