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TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

995 replies

Boboelephant · 30/06/2018 11:58

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

Boboelephant
Age: 35
TTC #2
DS 2.5
MMC at 10 weeks in December 2017. Ectopic rupture in November 2016.
Cycle 6 post MC. Trying since September 2016.

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

OP posts:
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35
Happysbno4 · 06/07/2018 20:36

Hello
Can I join you?
TTC my #4 after 14 years partners #1
39 in a few weeks
MMC followed by ERPC at end of May
Af arrived today.

Relieved AF put in an appearance. We are going to start trying again but I'm scared after last time. I'd wait my my age is not on my side.

Good luck everyone.

xJune88 · 06/07/2018 20:39

Joining. So sorry were all on this thread. Miscarriage in January at 6/7 weeks and then a MMC 2 weeks ago which was very traumatic and just bloody awful at 13 weeks. On here for support and hopefully a positive which stays positive 9 months later. Nobody understands unless you've been there it's bloody awful. Fingers crossed for all and actually praying and cannot wait for my period to appear so I know all is ok after loss. Xxx

Bobzybaby · 06/07/2018 20:51

@Laney79 I know you feel! It's like a missed opportunity / another month wasted. Im sorry you won't get the news you want for your birthday.

@Happysbno4 @xJune88 sorry for your losses and welcome to the thread. I've found it to be super supportive and informative!

Newbie21 · 06/07/2018 21:51

@laney79 sorry to hear. Is there any possibility that you can turn on the charm and work DH round? It's more than frustrating when hubby "doesn't feel like it" or is "too tired" when you're thinking that's another month wasted. I know we shouldn't think that way but it can't be helped. I'm sure the majority of us on this forum have thought it at least once.

Sorry to the new joiners who find themselves here but it's a good place for support and very informative. I've only been on here for a month and I have learnt so much from these ladies.

Newbie21 · 06/07/2018 21:55

@sunshinesparkleshine everything is crossed for you that it all works out.

Lilimum4 · 06/07/2018 22:31

Evening ladies how are you all ?

I'm 11 dpo and think I'm out this cycle.

Caved and took a test but the thing was whiter after I peed on it.

Oh well on to next cycle

Laney79 · 06/07/2018 22:39

Thanks everyone. @Newbie21 sadly no changing his mind. The more pressure equals less chance of it happening, and even less chance of success if you know what I mean.

And I just told him about the email and burst into tears.

Think I need to accept that this just might not happen for us. Too much day to day stress in our lives. We conceived on holiday when we were relaxed in Berlin, and I failed to keep bean safe and well. We did all we could in Greece to make bean 2 and failed. And our relaxed weekend away/posh bonk this week was too early . Now we're back to normal. Life is full of stress, so the chances of it happening aren't good. Sorry just feeling really low. X

Lilimum4 · 06/07/2018 22:58

@Laney79 totally understand where you are hun. I have the same problems. DH works away every week for 5 days so chances are extremely limited.

Really thought we were in with a chance this cycle but it seems like it will never happen.

Hugs to you hun x

Cakelaur · 06/07/2018 23:21

@Pancakes7 you maybe didn't ov the first time. You can have multiple surges in a cycle. Only temping confirms ov. So you may have had a surge but not ovulated then a little while later, surged again. Defo grab you OH and JKS! 🤞🏻

Pancakes7 · 06/07/2018 23:29

Well i ovulated around 9th June. Had lots of stretchy cm and positive opk. Now ovulating again with lots og stretchy cm and positive opk again. My main indicator is the stretchy cm. That's how I conceived last time. Will make sure we jks the next few days. Fx!!

Newbie21 · 07/07/2018 00:05

@laney79 I know it seems like an uphill struggle and when faced with life pressures it is so much harder but those little swimmers are resilient and whilst we are all here because on one or more occasions we were one of the unlucky ones that doesn't mean it won't happen for us. It will. And sometimes when you try and create the perfect stress free environment it can add to the pressure. It just takes one occasion where everything just connects and that can just be one evening in the midst of life stresses where those stresses fade and all works out. Did not be disheartened. Think of it like a night out - when you are looking forward to it and it's all hyped up it's always a bit of a disappointment, the best nights are always those impromptu occasions when you haven't bought a new outfit and your hair isn't quite right but sod it you've had a great night. There will be a time when it works out and you won't be able to explain why it happened that time but it did.

Not sure if the above makes sense to you and I know getting pregnant isn't just a night out but I do think things have a habit of working out in the most extraordinary and unexpected way.

Vlcky90 · 07/07/2018 00:47

@laney79 I hope your ok. Something you said in your last post just made me melt (made me write a poem actually but that’s been my way of getting my thoughts down this time around). Stay positive, I’m sure the right time will come. I know how desperate I was after my first loss to try again and I’d be in a foul mood if I didn’t get my way. Don’t be hard on yourself, try to relax, it’s easier said than done I know. I’m sending you big hugs and positive vibes. X

robin78 · 07/07/2018 05:04

Well that's me out this month. Period arrived in the night - earlier than my app predicted- hence posting at this ungodly hour. So no BFP for me before my 40th. I'm not very surprised after that weird long cycle so onwards and upwards!
@laney79 It is really frustrating when it just doesn't happen but it is still early days for you post-mc - even though I'm sure it doesn't seem like it! You had such a rough time of it no wonder you feel disheartened. But I have to say, you didn't fail at anything. These things just happen and it is unfair and very sad but absolutely not your fault. Sending love.
Welcome @Happysbno4 and @xJune88 sorry to hear about your losses. This is a good supportive place. I agree @xJune88 you can't understand it unless you've been through it.

SunshineSparklesSmiles · 07/07/2018 06:59

Ladies, I've had a thought regarding my faint positive tests. Please may I ask your opinions? AF isn't due until tomorrow or Monday (ovulated CD15) after my erpc on 11th June. The two tests I did one week and two weeks after to confirm erpc was complete were given to me by the hospital and were standard 25iuml hcg tests. I've been testing the last few days with FRER which are 10iuml which are faint positives, I just did a cheapie which is 25iuml and it's negative. I have this awful sinking feeling that I'm picking up old hcg that's still in my system and I feel so very foolish. Do you think this is likely? I feel so silly and terrible getting up the hopes of my DH if this is the case.

Newbie21 · 07/07/2018 07:34

@SunshineSparklesShine how pregnant were you when you miscarried? Usually the further along you are the longer it takes for HCG to fall. It took 4 weeks for mine to drop And I had my d and c (after MMC) at 12 weeks (baby's heart stopped about 9-10 weeks) Don't feel bad if that is what it is, it's quite normal to hope that it could be a BFP and there are plenty of ladies who fall pregnant before first AF after MC.

Newbie21 · 07/07/2018 07:36

SunshineSparklesSmiles sorry name errors on previous post.

SunshineSparklesSmiles · 07/07/2018 07:51

I had erpc at 10w 6d, bub had stopped developing around 7w. Found out an a private scan on 9w 5d but had to wait a week for erpc. As it was an mmc I was still getting pregnancy symptoms as no spotting or pain etc so I guess hormones were busy working away right up until 10w 6d. ERPC went as well as it probably could and stopped bleeding after 6 days so coupled with the negative 25iuml tests I foolish thought the slate was clear and I was ready to go again. I can't help feeling foolish. I genuinely thought I was one of the very fortunate few who were able to conceive again straight away and now I've let myself and my DH down by testing early and getting over excited Sad

fnej01 · 07/07/2018 07:54

Hi All,

Question - I still have a faint positive hpt from my miscarriage on the 25th June. It's fading nicely so am not concerned.
This morning I decided to do a CB opk and got a smiley phase. Is this confusion from HCG levels post miscarriage?
The reason I did the opk is I feel like I am ovulating, and my ovulation spot has appeared on my chin? Is it possible I am ovulating.
It doesn't matter as we aren't trying until after AF but I am just curious.
Welcome any advice all
X

RedRobin7 · 07/07/2018 08:10

Morning ladies!

I haven't posted in here for a couple of weeks but have been checking on you all.

Sorry to see so many new names. Sorry for your losses and I really hope you all have BFPs soon.

Good luck to all of those in FW and testing soon!

I'm very anxious at the moment. I'm 6+2 now with no symptoms at all. I felt more pregnant last time so I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything. It's so hard to be positive and I'm worried I'm saying too much on my March boards that might upset those who have never had a miscarriage and don't want to be scared!! 🙈 I don't feel at all happy or positive. Why is life so bloody hard all the time? Full of waiting games. I have a private scan at 8+5 which is still over two weeks away. Dying to know what's going on in there!

Sorry, I know I should be grateful I've had a BFP but having a MMC only 3 months ago just leaves me so uncertain!

Lilimum4 · 07/07/2018 08:33

Hello ladies

12 dpo bfn. I think this might be the end of the line for me. Every AF feels like a fail firstly because its a reminder of the losses and that despite my very best efforts still bfn. The last mc dam near killed me and I'm not a strong person ( I suffer with horrible anxiety).

Sorry for the rant I just feel every AF is bringing me further and further down. There's not point in asking for counseling as my practice has a 6 month waiting list and I can't afford Private.

Good luck to all you lovely ladies

hellotoyellow · 07/07/2018 08:42

@sunshinesparkles sorry this is happening - and I know the guilt about DH. Felt so bad for telling him about my early one at all as knew it was probably chemical (5/40).

I think that sounds very implausible as the drop from 1000s to 25 to 10 is, while not linear, also not flat. So you wouldn't have dropped from 1000s to less than 25 and then taken as long again to drop below 10.

Fingers crossed it's a sticky one and the lines get darker.

highlandteajenny · 07/07/2018 08:43

Sending hugs to you @Laney79 I'm so sorry you are having a bad day. You did not fail, sometimes it just doesn't work out. Be kind to yourself Thanks

RedRobin7 · 07/07/2018 08:46

@Lilimum4 So sorry you are struggling. Do you work? I didn't realise that my company pay for counselling services for all staff and their families. They told me about the system after my MMC so all I had to do was phone the number and they arranged it for me. I had the option to do face to face or phone sessions. I would never have known about it had I not spoken to HR.

Another option is to google Talking Therapies - there will be one in your area and after a phone assessment they will help you. When my husband was too afraid to leave the house after he was ill two years ago they were able to see him within a couple of weeks.

You're not alone, we are all here for you and there's also help out there xx

hellotoyellow · 07/07/2018 08:47

Lilimum - my friend goes to counselling for ten pounds a session. Where do you live? Hers is subsidised for low wage but there are also free services in London (don't know about elsewhere) and the Fertility Network runs free support groups.

highlandteajenny · 07/07/2018 08:50

@xJune88 and @Happysbno4 so sorry for your loss. I'm finding this group a wonderful source of comfort and hope.

Congratulations @hayleyfx!

Good luck to everyone waiting to test and everyone who is working on BD Grin think I'm going to wait a week more and hopefully my insides will be back to normal and get on with TTC (tmi!). I love reading all of your positive stories, it gives me hope.