TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

[Boboelephant]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

Boboelephant
Age: 35
TTC #2
DS 2.5
MMC at 10 weeks in December 2017. Ectopic rupture in November 2016.
Cycle 6 post MC. Trying since September 2016.

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*normally

@strawberrye I am really sorry you got AF. Two days late can really mess with your head. Hope you can be gentle to yourself and prepare for the next cycle.

On making plans, I've decided as much as I can just to book things like I won't be pregnant this year. Nothing crazy or expensive but it works for me to have other things to look forward to that aren't reliant on pregnancy. I just booked onto a (cheap!) day yoga workshop for October. For me doing things like that is helpful - but I understand it might not be for others.

@Bobzybaby I think all this ttc and pregnancy losses takes our normal rationality away! 🙈

I'm on my first AF since mc, and got a bfp two days ago which I now assume was a chemical. Luckily I didn't get too excited as I felt like it was going to go wrong as so soon since mc (5 weeks). This is my time for a fresh start to get myself better (lose a few pounds!) and just look after me (and the husband! ;-) )

How long do people wait before ttc again? I waited for three periods on my last one. This one is still a bit fresh and I think I’ll probably let myself emotionally heal for a while first and I want to try and rule out as much as I can beforehand.

Does anybody have any ideas on whether there is anything I can do to avoid HG next time around?

@TedLife ah I have not heard of that!! I defo think it's important to do something for your anxiety though. I've been doing yoga and meditation this month and I do feel a lot calmer.
@robin78 ooh yoga workshop! Sounds brilliant. I also decided I was going to stop putting life on hold just in case. It's so important to have things to look forward to.
@Bath072019 sorry for your losses.
@Vlcky90 after my ectopic we waited 3 months on medical advice. After MC we started trying straight away. I think the most important thing is to feel emotionally ready. No idea about the HG I'm afraid.

⚠ ⚠ ⚠ BFP ALERT BFP ALERT BFP ⚠ ⚠ ⚠

I posted yesterday and this morning thinking I was having a chemical because of a few very very faint tests and some brown spotting last night (which is still happening).

Just took another FRER after work and was greeted by this beauty!

I can't believe it! 4 weeks after our miscarriage and we are pregnant again! No cycle in between so no idea how far along! Suspect around 3+6?

I'm trying so hard not to get excited because I really can't cope with going through another miscarriage again, but I'm so happy! 🎉

Hi everyone, can I please join?
Age: 35
TTC: #1
MC 4w+3 yesterday
I only came off the pill in May and thought it would take a while for things to get back to normal, so was very surprised to get a positive result at the end of last week, but got BFN on Tuesday and after some bleeding realised it was all over. Had been feeling lots of positive energy focussed around my front but now it feels empty. Wasn't prepared for this, don't really know how I feel. This sounds like a lovely supportive thread, hugs to everyone

It was lovely thanks @KnitKitty -we loved it! Petersham hotel in Richmond-felt very decadent and grown up when they combed the table! And have throwaway embroidered slippers!!

@Spooples my first proper AF post MMC was a bit like that-had a gush of red, then virtually nowt only brown spots on and off for two days, 2.5 v heavy days and then gone. Fingers crossed yours isn't AF -but if it is you are not alone.

@Bobzybaby I wouldn't avoid booking stuff, or going away, but equally get the worry about going away if you are pregnant. How about you book the time off and have two plans-one for a uk based trip away if you do get a BFP, or if you don't a last minute hop into the travel agent and jet off on a bargain? So plan to go away-just not commit to where? And that psychic was just cruel-awful thing to say.

Lovely to get updates on here from you @Cakelaur - gives me hope when I feel down.

@Anyday88 looks good-keeping everything crossed!

@Boboelephant I'm a few days behind you I think, just waiting on Ovulation -think I'm almost there with my opks, I've attached a pic-what do you think? I reckon I'll get a positive tomorrow so ov on sat? Trying not to tire out my man too-he can struggle with too much pressure so trying to pick my moment if you know what I mean. If it's positive I may try to BD tomorrow and sat and sun if I can get my man in the mood! If not im thinking tomorrow and Sunday...worried last month we gave up too early!!! hope the TWW isn't too crazy for you!

@TedLife I always feel seeing the BFPs on here helps me believe it's possible-gives me hope that others who have lived this he'll have their rainbows...the harder for me is seeing BFPs or scan pics from friends on FB etc...those that it's so easy for. Crazy I know. Welcome back to the huddle!

Oh @strawberrye AF can be so cruel-you definately need a spot in the centre of the penguin huddle 🐧 X

Welcome @Vlcky90 -sorry you find yourself here. Stats are demons to me-when I went through my loss I researched the crap out of missed miscarriage and knew them off by heart -did me no good but to question even more why me. I had special reflexology to try and help during miscarriage by a lady trained in fertility etc. It's lovely-I'm going to go again in a couple of weeks.

@robin78 I'm going to do the same. Prob not stuff that would be hard if I'm preggers, or that I'd lose money on but I need things to look forward to. Have booked tickets to see boyzone in Feb (even if I catch this month due date won't be till April!)

Sorry to hear about the chemical @Bath072019 that must be tough.

Sorry if I've missed anyone! Hugs xxx

Thanks for the advice @Boboelephant and @DaisyMay25 :)

This thread moves quickly! It's both heart warming to see the supportive community in action and heartbreaking to know it's come from terrible things happening to such nice folk. Anyways, I'll try to keep up!

CD6 already so not long till we try to smep! Should i start the OPK testing around then too?

Hello ladies how are you all ?

@Vlcky90 we were advised we could try again straight away if we wanted but the midwife recommended 2 periods to get back in to a cycle. We waited longer because I wasn't emotionally ready to deal with the chance of another loss.

@Spooples everything crossed you have a sticky wee bean! 🤞🏻

@highlandteajenny I'm so sorry for your loss. I've recently joined this thread and have found it a great support!

@Laney79 Thats the plan I'm gonna follow! We've got the time off and an abroad holiday / home holiday planned. I'm desperate for some time away in the sun so I might actually end up abroad either way! I'll wait til I know what I'm actually dealing with to decide!

Thanks everyone for your advice today!

Congratulations Spooples! That's fantastic news! I hope this is a sticky one and that line just keeps on getting darker. Miracles do happen! xxx

@spooples Congratulations, on your bfp! I hope everything goes well for you. It will be nice to see a positive outcome

@highlandteajenny I’m sorry for your loss, I’ve joined today too after medical management of a mmc yesterday. Already it’s been a comfort venting with others who unfortunately understand.

I think the emotional recovery will be what takes a while for me, I think I’ll just focus on myself for a while and getting myself ready, I really hope that I can see some positive stories here for you guys and for me. I will have my fx for you all.

@Laney79
Thank you :-) good luck for your ovulation!! :-)
I just ate a whole bag of malteasers (so much for the diet!), a colleague announced her pregnancy at work today so I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself :-)

Congratulations @Spooples - hope it gets darker over the next few days!

Haven't caught up properly with the thread but hope all who are coming up to AF are doing ok. I'm feeling ok at times other times completely depressed - had some pink then brown spotting but not sure what's going on with that as could go either way with me, plus it seems late for implantation bleeding (I'm 10dpo today, spotting started yesterday). Argh, I really hate this part when you can't put it out of your mind, I am so sick of going back and fore!

Oh well. OPKs arrived from Amazon today, along with pregnancy tests and sanitary towels, covering all the possibilities here! Going to try to hold out a couple more days to test though, I really hate BFNs.

@Bobzybaby its good to hear how other ladies are coping, I'm so glad I found this thread, my husband is being great but it's different hearing from women who know what's going on

@Vlcky90 I am so sorry you are going through this just now, take care

Massive congrats @Spooples and I do hope this is a sticky bean for you!!! This must be a record BFP thread?! So happy for you all now pass some babydust our way! Haha x

@PurpleFushia hi hun how you doing? What day are you planning to test

@Spooples congratulations on the BFP!

@Vlcky90 @highlandteajenny sorry for your losses,welcome to the thread, I am relatively new having joined last week following a mmc that eventually happened naturally about 10 days ago. I have found reading everyone's messages and the support really helpful on my journey, hope you do too x

PurpleFushia spotting at 9DPO could be a good sign... Fingers crossed! xxx

I'm CD6 at the moment. Don't ovulate until about CD17 so just twiddling my thumbs right now. TTC is just one long ride of boredom mixed with peaks of anxiety isn't it!?!

Hmmm what do we think ladies...couldn't help myself did another ic opk just before bed 5 mins ago...this is the result...positive? Fella too tired to BD tonight...so on a promise for tomorrow...if it is positive tonight are we still in with a shout if we don't JKS till tomorrow?

I promised myself I wouldn't get obsessive about this...but here I am...help!

Yes, that's true @KnitKnitty - but my periods often start quite spotty as well! Will just have to wait it out and see. AF is due on Sunday @Lilimum4, think I'm going to try to hold out one more day until I test, so probably Saturday morning I'll give it a go unless AF appears by then. I've never had much luck with early testing (plus don't have any ICs or FRERs as didn't want to get too tempted too soon!)

@spooples congratulations and all the luck for a sticky bean.

I am trying to catch up. Currently on holiday and on CD 13 so hoping the holiday sun and relaxation will be good for me and DH. I'm not monitoring anything other than cycle length and then guessing ovulation date. If we don't have any luck this cycle I will likely get the OPKs on order. I'm trying to play it calm and as it comes but that is nearly impossible.

Good luck to all who are waiting to rest or in the TWW and sorry to those who have had the dreaded visit from AF.

Trying to just enjoy family holiday time so not so active on this thread but I am following you all with interest and wishing luck and babydust.

Is it OK to DTD every day in the run up to ovulation? I'm trying to increase our chances and it seemed to work for conceiving DS (just after we married).

*test not rest

@Laney79 ha when I saw the first pic I was going to say I thought you were hours from a positive and then there it was! Today will be perfect for jks and not too late. As will any you have done in the last few days. Test again today so you can get an idea of the length of your surge. Also EWCM clears up pretty quick after ovulation. Good luck!