Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

[KnitKitty]

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

"I declare July will favour me for conception" 😊🌸🤞

Happy Sunday everyone 🌼☀️

What a wonderful thread, some of the posts have really made me think about my attitude to TTC, TWW, etc. Currently in the middle of TWW but don't think it's my month, I'm in a similar position to some of you in still being fairly soon after miscarriage so not really knowing what my cycles are doing. But as I am doing the right things - vitamins, sleep, cut out booze and caffeine (went a bit mad with drinking post MC, drowning sorrows I think, and had built up a bad espresso addiction generally which was not doing me any good, and I've found abstinence is easier for me than moderation). As KnitKnitty said above another month means an even healthier me and a better chance, so there's nothing to fear from it yet, it's all part of my TTC journey. Will be back to share positives and commiserate on less positives!

@CritterTamer Thanks for the Fertility Yoga suggestion at the beginning of this thread, just did a couple of the YogaYin videos and now feel really good.

Hi PurpleFushia, sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you've joined us here.
I've given up drinking and caffeine for the most part too, and it had made an amazing difference to my mood!
I actually gave up caffeine before TTC because I had bad anxiety and whenever I've stopped drinking it in the past I'd notice my anxiety wasn't as bad. I still have the occasional glass of wine, but I feel better without it.

I'm feeling a lot better again this evening. I think I was just due a good wallow.

Back on my feet now and looking forward to a new week and a new month.

My affirmation for today:
I am joyful and successful.

A brand new week, a blank canvas. I wonder what wonderful things will happen this week?

Quote for today found on the internet and apparently by Neil Barringham which spoke to me in particular this morning:
The grass is greener when you water it.

Happy Monday everyone!

@KnitKitty I love that quote. And I'm ado glad you were able to shift your mood. You're right, sometimes we need to wallow - as long as we can get out of it again afterwards.

@PurpleFushia I'm so sorry to hear about your mc but very glad you've joined us. Well done for already taking some positive steps for you!

Today's affirmation - I open myself to greater health, strength and fertility now.

Happy Monday everyone :) have been 'working from home' today which means I've had a massive dose of vitamin D with all this lovely weather we're having. Feeling nice and relaxed. Had a lovely weekend with DH, spending quality time together :)

Am enjoying catching up, I haven't got an affirmation today, just feeling good. Hope you're all OK x

"The key is to not let your negative emotions prevent you from taking action....Stand up, kick the door in and never stop taking action. Because as long as you don't quit...you cant lose ;)" Jordan Syatt

VenusStarr I'm so glad that you're feeling good and have had a lovely few days relaxing with DH. :)
I've thought that too, it's been prime vitamin D weather recently!!! What a blessing.

Quote for the day:
An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it's going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming. (Unknown)

I had a lovely day yesterday. A nice walk in the sun before work and picked up a new android phone I've treated myself to!!! (This is a rare occurrence as I'm a bit of a technophobe and haven't had one before, so I'm challenging myself to learn something new, as daft as it sounds! )

Has everyone seen the news about those kids in the cave in Thailand? They are my happy thought today. It may have a tough few months ahead of them but it's so wonderful that they've been found alive.

@ChaosMoon yes was just reading it! Stories like that usually never have a happy outcome but this time it does , some lovely news indeed. Had my bfp on a digital yesterday fingers crossed for a positive sticky jumping bean. Today my daughter and I are going in search of a new donut shop that has opened in the city . Our donut adventure were calling it! Feeling good and blessed. Sending positivity to everyone on this board today xoxoxox

Congratulations @lolacola13! You've given me my second happy thought of the day. Crossing everything that it's a sticky one.
A donut adventure sounds like a great way to spend the day. Xx

Yes ChaosMoon it's wonderful news. I hope the rest of the rescue goes well.

Congratulations on your BFP lolacola13! That's amazingly good news!!! I hope it's a sticky one and you have a happy and healthy pregnancy. xxx Ohhh, a donut adventure sounds fun! What flavours did you both get?

I had a good day at work today. :)

Thanks @ChaosMoon and @KnitKitty ! I had the kinder bueno flavoring ... omg.. hazelnut cream in the middle the whole shabang lol. DD had a kids surprise , so it was cream and jelly babies sprinkles etc dotted over the top. Hope everyone is feeling good this evening xoxox

Oh my god, I need that donut...

Today I'm off to have a picnic with my sister who got engaged last week. :)

Quotes for today for anyone who needs them:

"Life isn't about falling, it's about getting back up every time you fall."

"H.O.P.E. Hold On. Pain Ends."

"Look for the positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a bit harder."

Thanks for those quotes today @KnitKnitty - I needed those! I thought I was ok with it not working this month but as I get closer to AF with no good symptoms really (and a falling RHR which tends to indicate AF is coming for me) I'm feeling a bit sad about it all, wishing we'd tried more and generally been more organised. But what has happened is done now, and next month is another chance.

PurpleFushia try to see it as extra time to heal and prepare mentally. The exciting news is your next cycle is on the way and that' s a brand new fresh start. Feel the sadness and have a disappointment cry if you need to, but then start your plans for the next cycle.

@PurpleFushia that's exactly how I've been feeling. It's made focusing on affirmations difficult so I've taken a more practical approach to positivity. Yesterday I went to a drag cabaret and today I'm following the wisdom of @VenusStarr and working from home.
Honestly though, rereading this thread gas also been a great help. I love you guys.

Hope you get lots of vitamin d today @ChaosMoon :)

Thanks @VenusStarr. I'm working on it!

Hey all
Sorry I completely disappeared after my post!
Firstly, thank you for your warm welcome. I love that this group is small, a lot of groups tend to get overwhelmingly large and I end up giving up with keeping up! I also love the positivity.

lolacola13 huge congrats to you. Sending you lots of luck.

Everyone else, thank you for all your wonderful words of wisdom.

I am now on CD39. I'm eager for my period to hurry up so I can start a new cycle. I've got all the usual symptoms that, if I hadn't been wised up to already, I'd put down as preg symptoms. the metal mouth is driving me bonkers but it seems to be a sure sign these days that period is imminent. also have a whopping great big spot on my neck!? I've never had a spotty neck before, my pre-menstrual spots are clearly getting bored of the view on my face

Don't know whether of not to test tomorrow (CD40) or wait for Saturday or just not bother at all! But I am planning on going to our local beer fest this weekend and also got to carry some heavy furniture on Saturday as giving my friend's daughter our old sofabed. If I could just know if I am or not, then I can then make plans based on the result.

Usually doing a preg test helps my period to start. It is always the way!

How do we all feel about exercise? I am petrified that I will do some damage since my two losses. I carried on running and doing light weights when I was pregnant with our first loss, convinced I as immune to MC. If I ever get pregnant again I am going to be on a knife edge with nerves. I really miss the ignorance of pre-MC. My first two pregnancies were a dream...
Any thoughts on how to chill during pregnancy and not look for blood at every opportunity?

Hi again Frazzelrock! You did warn us that you might not post for a while sometimes, so don't apologise, we were warned!

Well, I suggested in my last post testing on CD40, so I'm sticking to my guns. As you said, testing seems to bring on AF anyway, so maybe it will encourage her to show her face if she's lurking, and it would be good for you to know in advance if you have plans to do heavy lifting.
Since you're irregular, assuming you're not pregnant is the safest option, but since CD40 is a sensible day to test, test anyway. I've had AF visiting this week and have so delightfully insistent spots too. Never really got spots before pregnancy. What joy!!

They say that you can continue with your normal exercise so long it's not too strenuous, and there is a lot of evidence to show that you have an easier pregnancy and birth if you exercise regularly from the beginning, so certainly don't feel you have to give it up. Maybe just modify what you do (use the lightest weights possible and research which are the safest types of weight exercises to do in pregnancy; and maybe don't run as far, or walk for half of your jog instead and take a couple of breaks?)

The problem when you've had a MC (or more than one), you start second guessing EVERYTHING you do or think or eat or say and get superstitious about things or nervous that you're not doing this or that right. The fact is, so long as you're looking after your body well there isn't much you can do to stop these things happening. Nature just runs its course for good or bad.
Get advice from a GP though if you need reassurance from a professional about what to do or not do when TTC or in early pregnancy.
I know how you feel, I had a MMC and SMM too and I'm already overthinking my next pregnancy.

ChaosMoon drag cabaret sounds like a fun distraction!

I'm quite amused at myself at the moment.
There seems to be a battle going on in my head/body between anxious and impatient me and zen and roll-with-it me. I keep having moments of feeling fed up or flashes of frustration about not being pregnant and wishing the time away because TTC just seems to be one long slow process, and then a calm me is just watching myself and shaking its head and tutting, thinking "just relax, listen to the birds, look at that beautiful flower". Most days the zen me is winning, but every day is a new fight for supremacy, and today work has left me feeling a bit frazzled so I'm just preparing for an evening of knitting now to unwind.

My positive thoughts/affirmations for the day:
I choose to learn from the bad things that have happened to me in the past and use them to create a more positive future.
I choose to focus on the best possible outcome.
I am protected, I am powerful, I am successful. I am at peace.

Morning. Thanks knitkitty some great advice there!

Well I tested this morning and BFN soooo come on AF! What are you playing at eh?
At least I can have a drink this weekend and get involved with the heavy lifting without worry
I can't wait to begin the next cycle

Knitkitty - I know exactly how you're feeling, like you're having a mini debate in your head. I'm glad the zen you is winning but I wouldn't fight too hard. What I've learnt, and what has helped me in my two years of darkness is that feelings are just thoughts that come and go. If you fight them (good or bad) they just get bigger. Any 'negative' feelings you have, just ride them out and accept that they are just a thought, like any feeling. I've learnt to be okay with my negative thoughts and they soon bugger off of there own accord. Al the times I spent fighting those feelings and trying to convince myself to be happy just drove me deeper into depression.
Anyway, am sure you know all this!

I hope you all have a lovely day, it's gonna be a hot one! I for one am working from home this morning and have booked the afternoon off as DS2 has a school BBQ that I promised I'd come to.

Happy Friday all!

Frazzlerock I hope AF arrives soon then and is kind to you this month.

Thanks, yes, it's easy to spiral when negative thoughts seem to be taking over. I suffered from depression between the age of 14 to 20 and it taught me a lot, but I'm only now discovering a different approach to "battling" negativity.

I felt like I clawed my way out of depression by fighting tooth and nail with myself all those years ago. I had sunk so low that no positive could penetrate through and it was the hardest thing I've ever done to replace those dark thoughts with lighter ones. (And the most terrifying epiphany I had was realising that I was the only person who could stop me being depressed, I just wanted someone to come along and wave a magic wand. I was so lethargic and bogged down it was hard to get out of bed sometimes so the thought of no one being able to help me was very scary indeed).
The way I got over depression back then was to notice when I was thinking something negative and consciously tell myself the opposite or something positive to replace that thought with. I did a lot of affirmations too, and had post-its all over my bedroom so I was literally surrounded by happier thoughts. I wrote down how I wanted my life to look using the present tense and read that every day. Eventually I started to believe the nicer thoughts and after a long time they became my normal thoughts rather than the negative ones, but goodness was it hard!!! I found the piece I'd written about how I wanted my life to be a few years later, and miraculously I wasn't far off the mark and it just showed me that visualising a goal and aiming for it can really help and dreams do come true!

Now, mindfulness and meditation have taught me (like you said) to just notice negativity when it arises and not judge myself for it, but just notice when it's there. I think it's a gentler approach because I don't feel I'm judging myself for thinking negative things, but I sometimes still panic that if those negative thoughts start to accumulate I might get depressed again, so I'm still learning to be gentler with myself. I think I'm slowly finding a balance.

Today I'm concentrating on being more peaceful with work. There have been a lot of changes going on in my workplace and a huge change of staffing is currently going on. I've realised this morning that part of my discontent at work is arising from feeling too eager to be noticed (possibly for a promotion), and it's making me feel a bit frazzled and impatient when I'm there. Others seem to all be jostling around to try and make waves and it's just not like me to do that too. So my new challenge is just to be who I am, get on with what I'm doing and let others around me do what they're doing and just let things be. I believe that things work out how they're meant to, so if I'm supposed to be noticed for promotion I will be.

So my quote for the day is:
"Be yourself; everyone else is taken." Oscar Wilde.