Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

[KnitKitty]

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

Thank you for your well wishes, just trying to take one day at a time. I’m really sorry to hear that- CPs are still loses though so worth ensuring your GP knows about them. Perhaps they could send you for tests now you have had 3?

Ps sending you big hugs xox

Hello everyone! I took a bit of a break from Mumsnet as everything was getting a bit much. There's a few new faces here since I last posted, welcome.

I've started to meditate again, working on accepting the things I can't control. I've got an app called "Let's Meditate" and today I did a chakra activating meditation, normally I'd think things like that are a bit "woo" but I really got into it and feel refreshed and grounded. Also my cat is sitting on me right now giving me lovely cuddles.

Morning Sunshine Ladies,

The test I took on Saturday morning was negative, which was actually a relief since I'd had a heavy/painful "period".
So I'm back to square one.

I'm actually feeling OK. I just have to keep trying!
OH has been lovely and we've had a really good week; lots of love and playfulness.

Hi again @TinyPaws. I'm glad the meditation helps. I've fallen off doing mine a bit I should get back into it. I was feeling bad about having stopped doing it and then remembered Eat, Pray, Love when she stops meditating because she's fallen in love and then panics, and the medicine man tells her it's all part of living a balanced life. It made me feel better anyway. Haha!
There's no harm in a bit of 'woo'.
Cats are the best for cuddles. My cat has been looking after me recently.

Talking of 'woo' things, sometimes I use runes. I can see people running away from me right now... haha! Anyway, it's a bit of a fun hobby and I don't really put much stock in to it, but I did a reading a couple of days ago and read the meaning in a book I have (The Book of Runes - Ralph Blum) and it sent a shiver down my spine.
Here's what the messages said:
"If there appears to be an obstacle in your path, consider that even a delay may prove beneficial. Do not be overly eager to press forward, for this is not a time or situation in which you can make your influence felt. Patience is the counsel this rune offers: nothing hectic, no acting needy, or lusting after a desired outcome. This rune speaks to the difficulties that can arise at the beginning of a new life."

The last sentence stopped me in my tracks.
I then went on to read about the second rune I'd pulled and got this message:
"Be aware that no quick results can be expected. A span of time is usually involved; hence the key words 'one year', symbolising a full cycle before the reaping, the harvest or deliverance. To those whose labour has a long season, a long coming to term, this rune offers encouragement of success.
And then the 3rd and final rune I pulled was this:
"A rune of great power, making life force available to you. You may see fit to withdraw or even to retreat in the face of a pressing situation, especially if events or people are demanding that you expend your energy now. Know that such a retreat is a retreat in strength, a voyage inward for centring, for balance. This rune counsels opening yourself up, letting the light into a part of your life that has been secret,shut away."

They really spoke to me. I think I have been putting too much pressure on myself for this to happen as quickly as possible, and it's not something that can be rushed. And I have definitely been retreating into myself and not giving out much energy and/or attention to others as much as I used to before MC. It's been a way of staying sane, but I think it's gone on long enough. I need to just get on with life as though I wasn't TTC and put my energies into enjoying life and other people again.

Talking of which, OH's parents arrive on Monday next week for a visit. They're staying a week. His mum has been battling breast cancer for the past year and is just coming off all her meds (she's been given the all clear). So it'll be really lovely to spend time with them and a lovely distraction.
Timing wise it's not the best, because I think I'll be ovulating sometime next week, but I guess it's giving me a break from TTC. Since I know it's not going to happen this month I can relax a bit and focus on other things.
I am going to try out OPKs for the first time this cycle though, so it'll be a practice run with that. I think I'll start doing them on Saturday or Sunday.

How is everyone else today?

Hi @TinyPaws - really pleased meditation is working for you! I did so much of it in the past month but my 1 month Headspace trial ended and I couldn't justify the subscription just now with reflexology too. I'm very jealous of your cat chilling out with you too - mine is rather standoffish and would rather be out hunting birds I always think he'll change when he's older but no luck so far!

@Knitkitty - WOW those readings are so crazy. I don't think they're silly, never really heard of runes but they definitely sound interesting. So glad you were able to take some wisdom from them.

I'm trying to keep the crazy away from me at the moment but it's creeping in slowly and i'm feeling really emotional and negative. Really hate the TWW, the waiting is just unbearable. I almost feel relieved when AF does arrive so I know it's over!

Hello sunshine ladies, hope you're all well today.

@knitkitty wow! Those readings are fascinating and there's some great advice there. I'm quite a believer in all those sorts of 'woo' things! I've never tried Runes though. Good luck with the opks too!

I'm doing ok here. Had a bit of a wobble yesterday when a good friend announced she was pg with dc2 - I find new baby announcements so hard, particularly if it's the second child as that's what I'm trying to do... But I'm trying to take control and get back some of my positivity which has been missing for a while. I'm ramping up my positive affirmations again, started running and yoga on my working at home days and I'm investigating doing either acupuncture or mayan abdominal massage to try and get my cycles in better shape. I've also ordered an ovusense to help with tracking my temps as I think knowing I definitely have or haven't ovulated each month is going to help me massively.

Those runes are amazing @knitkitty! It’s so weird sometimes how those things can be so accurate!

@knitkitty Not too "woo", I'm all for anything that can help us feel calmer and more centred in this crazy time!

@TedLife are you still in the TWW? How's it going?

@sweetpea0318 I find pregnancy announcements really hard too. Hugs! Sounds like you've got some really positive stuff going on to feel like you have more control. Hope the temping helps.

Thanks @Eastend2015 and @TinyPaws, I mainly do it when I'm feeling frazzled or like my mood is spiralling and it tends to help me feel more positive again. I use oracle cards too. As I said, I'm not a great believer in it, but anything that can help you feel more positive again is a plus in my book.

I just used an OPK for the first time this morning. Managed to use it correctly so feeling pleased with myself. It's just for practice this month as OH's parents arrive in 3 days over my fertile period, but hopefully I'll be able to see if it works for me and I can use them for real next month.

Hi ladies! I haven't been on for awhile bit was so nice reading all your updates.
Love a bit of woo myself! @TinyPaws I just downloaded that app so thanks! @KnitKitty those readings are amazing! I don't know anything about runes either goes off to research runes but anything that helps keep us calm!
I went and saw a private gynaecologist/fertility specialist yesterday and she was amazing. Has diagnosed underactive thyroid and put me on levithyroxine and am booked in for a hsg on Monday to check my remaining tube and womb for scar tissue. So I feel really encouraged that something has been found and I feel like we're finally looking for solutions rather than being dismissed. Long may the positivity continue!

That's incredibly positive news @Boboelephant.

Having a diagnosis so often brings mixed feelings. It's obviously not wonderful that you have under-active thyroid, however it's really, really good news that they've diagnosed it and you can move forward with some treatment. Great that they're checking your womb and tube as well. I'm really pleased for you! I feel really positive about this too. When will you have the tube and womb checked? Hope it's not a long wait.

That's great news @Boboelephant. I also have a thyroid issue that would not have been picked up had I not decided to have some blood tests done privately. Thyroid problems can have a massive effect on fertility so I feel really positive that this might make a difference for you!

Thanks @KnitKitty and @TinyPaws. Its slightly frustrating as she diagnosed it from my NHS blood tests from 6 months ago which the previous gynaecologist said the results were fine. She took another blood test yesterday to see if its gotten worse which i shoild find out today but did say that for fertility you want your levels at 2.5 and mine in March were 4.18! So I'm relieved that something is being done now to help. And yes, I read alot that it can cause problems with fertility and even contribute to MC so definitely want to get it sorted. Also will be great to not feel as totally exhausted as I have the last few months!
@KnitKitty I'm getting the xray done on Monday! 😀 it was lucky as it can only be done between cycle day 7 and 10 and Monday is day 10 so worked out well.

@TinyPaws have they given you anything to sort out your thyroid issue?

They've not given me anything as my TSH is currently 1.8, which is fine, however I have very high anti-thyroid antibody levels and had symptoms of hypothyroidism prior to my miscarriage.

I've started taking a selenium supplement as I've read this can help with autoimmune thyroid issues and am also trying to improve my vitamin D levels, which are on the low side.

As both pregnancy and the drugs used in IVF/stimulated IUI are both known to affect thyroid function the clinic have agreed to monitor my TSH levels during my next cycle of treatment so quick action can be taken if they go out of range.

@KnitKitty sorry for silence, I've been keeping to myself a little but this thread has really helped me so I feel I can't just disappear. I'm

Argh so sorry! My phone slipped and it posted!

I've had a positive test, two actually so it's still sinking in. Trying to stay quietly hopeful that this one will be different. Still very early days anyway.

Good work on the opks @KnitKitty, really hope you find them helpful.

Hi all,

I'm just poking my head in to say hi. I've not forgotten any of you. I'm just struggling quite a lot so can't really offer much positivity. I'm having a lot of trouble with other people pregnancies and just feeling really quite shit.

I ordered an Ovusense and it finally arrived on Saturday. I tried it Saturday night, then my period showed up on Sunday. only 25 day cycle when it has been 40-50 days since we started TTC in June. According to my TTC apps, we had sex at exactly the right time and still nothing.
I'm tired and hugely frustrated that it's not happened yet. I had convinced myself that I'd be pregnant by xmas but I can't even see it happening before next xmas now.

Plus I passed three 'baby on board' badges in a row on my way to work this morning, pre-coffee which just made me want to scream at the top of my lungs.

Sorry, ranting when I was only popping my head in.

I should probably stay away from MN. I've taken myself off FB (or BabyBook as I have started calling it)

I just joined here and love this thread!! I’ve been on this journey for a long time and just now coming back from a hiatus, loss and depression. I felt I had lost myself somewhere. But I have renewed energy and I am hopeful for a bfp. Regardless of the outcome I have so much that is positive in my life that I am grateful for it all.

My quote: the best times for new beginnings is now.

Also think I will try fertility yoga too .. great tip!

@Boboelephant how'd the xray go?

@Tedlife You slipped this news in so casually I almost missed it! Tentative congratulations! I know that BFPs after loss aren't the same, so hoping you manage to stay serene and stay hopeful and positive. Keep us updated on your progress!

@Frazzlerock Sorry you're struggling hun. Deleting FB is a good way to stay sane if it's bothering you. Have you tried anything like acupuncture to try and regulate your cycles a bit? I've heard it works for some women.

@crys2 Hi! Welcome. I felt like I'd lost myself after MC too but found my way back. Feeling heaps better these days and this thread was one of the things that helped me find myself again. I found not focusing on TTC for a while helped me, but I'm back at it properly now.

I'm having a good week. OH's parents are here and it's nice to see them and have some time off work.
I used OPKs for the first time this month and got a positive on Monday. We DTD on Sunday so I'm feeling quite hopeful.

@KnitKitty it's anything but casual! I'm very anxious and Im feeling really low, can't help feeling this one will go wrong too. I didn't want to bring down the thread (looks like
I did anyway!). Signing up for Headspace tomorrow though and turning this around. I was anxious last time and the worst happened anyway.
Thanks for your good wishes though, they're really appreciated as always x

Aww @TedLife I'm so sorry you're not managing to enjoy this, but I totally, totally get it.

I'm sure you've already googled stuff, but here's what it says on Tommy's:

"Many women struggle with anxiety in the next pregnancy. This is a completely natural reaction to what has happened. Your GP may be able to refer you for counselling or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) in pregnancy, which can help you manage this anxiety or mild depressions. Don’t delay seeing your GP as there may be a waiting list.

Alternatively, you can find a private therapist near you here.

You might want to request an early scan to see how your pregnancy is progressing. Although this doesn’t guarantee anything, it can make the first trimester more manageable.

Try to break down the first trimester into days – or, even sections – so instead of thinking, ‘How am I going to get through the next 8 weeks?’ concentrate on just getting through that morning. Take one day at a time.

Be kind to yourself. It’s totally understandable if you’re not enjoying trying again, or if you are overwhelmed with sadness, anxiety or denial during your next pregnancy. Talk to your GP or midwife, if you feel you need some help managing these feelings.

Don’t feel that you have to keep your next pregnancy secret, talking to your friends or family, might really help. You can also join BabyCentre's supportive pregnancy after miscarriage group to chat to other women in the same situation."

"You can talk to a Tommy’s midwife free of charge from 9-5 Monday to Friday on: 0800 0147 800 or email [email protected]. Our midwives are also trained in bereavement support."

And this is info from The Miscarriage Association.
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Pregnancy-After-Loss-2018.pdf

Huge hugs. Stay strong Sunshine Lady xxx

@Knitkitty thank you so much, that info was just what I needed. You are always so positive and wonderful to everyone, thank you x
I am trying so hard to stay positive, and remember this is a different pregnancy and doesn't have to have the same outcome but I think hormones are also taking over a bit and making me believe good things won't happen. I just need to recognise and identify these feelings as much as I can and consciously turn them around.

For anyone else who needs a bit of positivity, here's my affirmation for today. Sending love and good wishes to everyone today.

@TedLife I hope you are feeling slightly less anxious and at least a little more positive. Hoes meditation going?
@KnitKitty xray went well actually. All very odd being naked with people hovering about but you lose some of your dignity on this journey for answers! 😂 My uterus and tube look 'lovely' and no scar tissue or adhesions. I was initially a bit frustrated as I was hoping for a clear answer but it is a good thing and it's good to know that it's
all ready for a baby down there! So fx the dye gave the area a nice flush out and it's go time! 😁

Excellent news! I'm so pleased. If it's just a "matter of time" thing it can be frustrating, but patience will pay off. This is just one big waiting game isn't it?

Happy Monday everyone.

I hope you all have a nice week ahead planned.