Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

[KnitKitty]

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

Can I join @KnitKitty ? This looks such a lovely thread I can't resist!

I do anything crafty to relax! Whether it is making gemstone jewellery, knitting, crocheting, sewing- my recent project were some plain black sliders I got bored with so added white lace to!

I can also highly recommend yoga and meditation. My next to-do is affirmations with my new mala beads (treated myself). Anyone got some short and sweet affirmations they would be happy to share?

I always have a choice.

I firmly believe that. Even if I don't know what it is yet, or if it's not the one I want. Even if it's only to choose the way I look at a situation. And that means I always have more control than I think, even if I choose to do nothing.

I can choose love.
I can choose happiness.
I can choose to see the best in life.

(I can choose to unpick my knitting again...)

"I declare that I will carry my pregnancy to term"

👋 hello to the new ladies!

I am having a relaxing sunny evening on holidays on my balcony with dh and ds napping 😊

Currently enjoying some cat cuddles! Always brightens up my day!

Enjoying dog cuddles here 😊

Hi SoBoredOfWaiting, welcome! It's lovely to have fellow crafters on here. :) Do share pictures of projects if you've a mind. How do you use mala beads? Heard of them before but don't know anything about them.

It's so true ChaosMoon that we always have a choice, and I think a lot of the time people feel low or frustrated when they don't feel like they have control over a situation, but just remembering that we always have a choice is helpful.

I love that affirmation Angelmiracle. One of my TTC worries is that I'll miscarry again so I'm putting a lot of effort in to reassuring myself that I'll carry to term and have a rainbow baby at the moment.

I've started trying some visualisation, but it can be tricky.
At the moment I've been spending time visualising myself with a big baby bump.
I've also been visualising nice things happening to people I feel negatively towards at work to try to counteract the negativity, and it's funny, my dealings with those people have been a lot better since I started doing the visualisations.

Pets are amazing.
I've also had some cat cuddles this evening. :)

@KnitKitty I've also been picturing myself with a bump, imagining if I'll be more of Khloe or Kim in maternity wear... I like to look at furniture too for a nursery, it doesn't make me sad anyway it gives me something to look forward to.

Right now I'm focusing on being positive so that when a baby comes along they're coming into a happy family.

Today's quote 'difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations'

@KnitKitty I've also been picturing myself with a bump, imagining if I'll be more of Khloe or Kim in maternity wear... I like to look at furniture too for a nursery, it doesn't make me sad anyway it gives me something to look forward to.

Right now I'm focusing on being positive so that when a baby comes along they're coming into a happy family.

Today's quote 'difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations'

@DaisyMay25 love that quote!

@KnitKitty mala are prayer beads made up of 108 gemstones. To use them, you meditate then put them in your right hand with your finger and thumb touching the first bead. You say your mantra or affirmation for each bead you touch. Hence short and sweet! 😂 definitely will post some pics when I have them.

My affirmation for today is 'I love and allow new beginnings.'

Feeling much more positive today, had a chat with dh and we're on the same page. We had a lovely night out together, lots of laughing and I felt relaxed. It's amazing the impact of giving myself permission to stop has had.

I am off to spend the day with my sister and her children which I'm looking forward to.

Am enjoying reading the positivity on this thread too :)

SoBoredOfWaiting I knew I'd heard of them before, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about them in the Eat Pray Love novel I'm sure! I might look into getting some too. I love crystals and gemstones. I have quite a lot. :)

DaisyMay25 I love that quote, and so often true as well!

I have found that a lot of the worst things that have happened to me have lead to the best times of my life.
When I was in my early 20s I was an au pair in France and the family I lived with kicked me out 2 weeks before I was due to leave (I'd been with them for 6 months and they were WEIRD and I had nearly left a couple of months early but the mum talked me in to staying. I guess they just didn't feel like paying me for the last two weeks and wanted to put me out as much as possible.) Anyway, I had already arranged for my dad to come and pick me up by car and take a road trip home together at the end of my stay, so I was basically left homeless, penniless and stranded for my last two weeks. I could have so easily freaked out but I felt really calm. I went to the language school I had been taking French lessons at and explained the situation. They gave me a bed for a couple of nights and my parents transferred me some emergency money. Talking to the director of the school (who it turns out was not surprised by my story as similar things had happened to several other au pairs with this particular family) I jokingly asked if she had any jobs going as I didn't have much money. She said she didn't, but if I wanted to come back in two months time she'd had a job for me!
My sister who lived in Rome at the time had a French colleague who got in touch with her brother who lived nearby and he lent me his flat rent-free for two weeks while he stayed at his girlfriend's. I had the best time and it was a lovely unexpected holiday!
So my dad came to pick me up as planned, we had a lovely trip together and two months later I went back to the same town and lived and worked at the language school for two years! During that time I fell in love and then moved in with my OH and ended up staying in France for a total of 6 years.

The day that family kicked me out of the house could have been such a different experience. I could have panicked, I could have got upset and got a flight back home and missed out on those two lovely weeks and road trip and I would have never fallen in love with my OH and had all the amazing experiences I did end up having.
It's incredible what a difference your state of mind and mood can have on your experiences in life, and that's why I'm so determined to stay positive and open to what life throws at me.

Also, regarding the visualisation techniques; I'm pretty sure this has worked for me in other ways before so I do believe in the power that visualisation can have.
I used to suffer very badly with endometriosis. At one point I started bleeding from my back passage and had to have an excruciatingly painful colonoscopy. They discovered I had a pocket of endometriosis in my bowel and planned to laser it during the surgery I already had booked a month later to sort out another gynae problem.
During that month I did a lot of visualisation; imagining my bowel all pink and healthy looking and free of endometriosis.
When I had the surgery the gynae and bowel surgeons had a look for the endo to sort out in my bowel and it had completely gone of its own accord.

Your mind can be a very, very powerful tool if you know how to train it. No matter how low you ever get, as ChaosMoon said, you always have a choice. You can choose to battle against the negative voices in your head; although, admittedly, it can be a very difficult road to travel... which brings us back to DaisyMay25's quote for the day "Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations". Hang in there if you're reading this and are on that road yourself at the moment, things will get better with enough determination.

Have a wonderful day everyone. xxx

I love that story @knitkitty! I love that you were able to live these values and the universe rewarded you for it.

And @DaisyMay25 your quote is so beautifully hopeful.

Today, I choose to be inspired.
By all of you wonderful ladies.

@Knitkitty thank you so much for sharing that beautiful story 😊

"I declare I am Fertile!"

🏵💐🌼

Have a lovely Sunday everyone!

Todays mantra:
I accept the gift of new life within my body.

Two success stories -
My first dc was conceived after 11 months - 11 months of perfectly timed sex using fertility friendly lubricants, ovulation kits and the best sex positions. Investigations showed poor motility of sperm - whilst we were seeing the drs for tests they booked me in for a pelvic scan and I had a womb biopsy. We only had sex twice that month due to the procedure.. I got pregnant with twins, lost one at 7 weeks and now have a beautiful 3.5 year old!

Second time round sperm showed increased viscosity and I had a higher than ideal level of fsh, I got pregnant that month and I am currently 18 weeks!!!!

Good luck to everyone trying x

Thank you for sharing your positive story Redrosebelle! Congratulations!

I've had a lovely weekend seeing family and enjoying the sun.

I'm currently in my TTW and chances are extremely small for me being pregnant this month as we only had sex once 4 days before when I think I ovulated, but it's been such a relaxed month TTC wise. I've not been fretting about the ifs and the whens and the hows or getting frustrated or impatient. I think a big part of being so much more zen is having this thread to focus on, and all you lovely ladies sharing your wise words and positive messages, so thank you! Taking a "month off" has been a welcome rest but I'm not sure I would have found it so easy taking a step back this month if it weren't for this place; and though I plan to more actively try again next cycle, I'm determined to hold on to this feeling of positivity and peace.

A Dolly Parton quote today (might mean a bit more to anyone TTC after mc)

'If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain'

AF came today so naturally spent the day researching what changes to make this month. Hopefully will start yoga and have a better diet. Hopefully healthier body and mind will help.

Also @KnitKitty last time I got pregnant we only had sex once that month!

I concur with conception after once dtd the only bfp I have ever had resulting in DS after 18 months of regular dtd. I was also cd8 never expected that month to catch but it did!! Even though no bfp since my 'miracle' bfp gives me hope for ttc#2 😊💐🌼💙

I’m hoping this gives hope to someone. My case has been one hell of a journey. I’ve got two fibroids, irregular period and after trying for a while and finally conceived, I lost the preg at 23 weeks(march this year). Honestly I felt heartbroken and concluded it’s just not meant to be for me. However, after much time of reflection and encouragement from hubby, we carried on trying again. (Oh, hubby also has poor sperm mobility). Fast forward to few weeks ago, round about when I should be expecting my period, I decided to do a preg test just out of curiosity and desperation. Lo and behold, I got a faint positive. I couldn’t believe it. I thought it must be a fake positive. I dashed off to the pharmacy to buy 6 different preg tests( yep, I was that anxious). I got home and tried again with first response and clear blue and both came up with a faint positive. So I waited for two days and took another test and this time the lines were darker. I’m currently 5weeks pregnant and hoping for the best. To anyone reading this, I totally understanding how tough this journey can be and I’m staying positive for you and wishing you good luck. I hope it happens for you soon. Please stay positive.Xxx

What a lovely quote DaisyMay25, and so true! I hope this new cycle is a lucky one for you. I have my fingers crossed.

I'm going to continue assuming I'm not in with a chance this month because that way I won't obsess! But amazing that our bodies and beans can surprise us like that! Incredible that it happened for you when you DTD on CD8 Angelmiracle!

Better2kg Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry it's been such a difficult road for you but congratulations on the new pregnancy. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy this time around. xxx

My affirmation today is:
I am at peace.

Hi everyone! What a gorgeous day. I'm feeling positive today. Have spent the weekend reading is your mind fertility friendly? It's great, it's all about focusing on visualising good things happening.

I've started the day with a short meditation and been for a long relaxing walk at lunchtime.

My affirmation today is good things do happen to me.

Happy Monday everyone x

Thanks for the recommendation VenusStarr, that sounds really interesting.

"Good things happen to me" is one of my affirmations too. :)

Just a little quote for the day that I picked up somewhere on Pinterest:

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

LOVE this thread!!

Hi Chel1888! Welcome!

So today I've been thinking about periods and how AF on these boards is so often referred to as evil or a witch etc etc (guilty as charged).
I'm going to try to stop talking about my periods in a negative way starting this cycle. I'm expecting mine around the 2nd Julyish.

Our bodies do any amazing thing each month (for most of us, sorry if you have long/irregular cycles). We get to start afresh and have a good spring clean every cycle. I always feel a release when I get my period, and if I've had PMS I feel so much better emotionally when AF arrives. Your body is doing what it's supposed to do and it's really quite an amazing and fascinating process!

Also, it's a chance to enjoy doing all the things you may avoid during the TTW just in case. So what do you treat yourselves with when AF arrives?
For me it's a glass of wine with a treat like Camembert.

Phrase for today:
Everything happens at the right time. I am on the right path.