Over 40 ttc - summer baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

Ladies here's our new thread!

Hi @CritterTamer - implantation cramping can feel like that, but so can cramping caused by the ivf drugs - having had 3 fresh and 3 frozen cycles of IVF, half of which have been BFN and half BFP i can categorically say that for me anyway there was no way of knowing the difference. Only thing I can say is that pinching/ pulling sensation is not a bad sign, it just might not mean anything either. Sounds like you have good quality blasts though, so you are def in with a chance 😊. X

@Hobbes39 - thank you, good to know it’s not a bad sign even if it’s not necessarily a good one either! I did wonder if it could be something to do with all these progesterone pessaries but I’ve been on those 6 days now and this started pretty suddenly this afternoon so who knows! Would be awesome to have a tiny camera in there and see what’s going on LOL

Ooh, critter, that sounds promising! 😊I've never experienced implantation cramps or ovulation twinges or anything like that, so I don't know. I've got everything crossed for you 😊😊

That's poo that GPs aren't very helpful when it comes to fertility. So what are the rules with IVF on the NHS?

Sorry, that last sentence was to @KeepingTheFaith9
, but if anybody knows the rules I'd be interested in hearing them before my appointment tomorrow. Thanks xx

@Dickybow321 - I think it varies depending on where you are, but I think the general rules are 2years + TTC, aged under 42 and no particular signs of low ovarian reserve, plus not having had any private treatment (although I did speak to one lady who had had some private cycles but was still offered one by the NHS). As I said I think it varies by location - apparently it’s much easier to get it in Scotland!

So I went back to the doctors this morning as I'd had not much help from the previous one. She told me to book for FSH blood tests so a bit more helpful that the last doctor..

@Cookiewaffle - that’s good news - make sure you book them for day 3 of your next cycle. Glad she was more helpful for you 😊

@CookieWaffle (your name is making me hungry )
what did you say to the doctors each time and what did the first one say?

Mimosa, any chance you could be pg?

@Dickybow321 - it totally varies by location - I'm in Scotland and didn't qualify for nhs IVF as have a DS already. I think that's the same in most places. Cut off for age is 40 here (at the time you would be treated I believe, not the time you go on waiting list) and when they test your AMH It needs to be above 5 I think. I'm not sure as I didn't qualify but I seem to remember the what a friend who did qualify told me.

@CritterTamer - meant to add before - i don't want to get your hopes up too much, but one thing I should say is that 1-2 day's post 5 day transfer is def the right time for implantation, so could be a v good sign, I just know from bitter experience that implantation might feel like the end goal at the moment, but is just another step... I'm sorry if that sounds overly negative tho x

Dickybow - i think general rules for IVF on NHS were under 40, no previous pregnancies, and ttc for over 2 years. However some areas have cut all funding for IVF, so it no longer exists, it's private only where I'm based, even for young people struggling to become first time parents. I think the current government has plans to take this to more areas too. (Bastards)

Critter that sounds really promising. My implantation felt very much like ovulation pains. Like sharp twinges

Thanks @Critter, although the doc and the receptionist didn't mention when I should be having them! Booked for next week which happens to be fertile week, perhaps i should rebook?

@Dickybow321 the first one told me i needed to wait a year of trying at 40 and gave me something for anxiety as one of my stresses was not being pregnant lol. Googled the stuff she gave me, NHS site said it was potentially harmful to unborn babies. So I went in and saw a doc I'd known for a while. She suggested the drugs should be ok, also suggested to keep trying a little longer but when I brought up the question of tests, knowing my mum had taken 6 years to have me, she said if i really wanted to I could book in for a blood test, then if I wanted to improve my chances, look at IVF depending on the results of the blood test.

Ali - doubt it. We have dtd a few times since AF but honestly I’d be gobsmacked if I’ve ovulated without a hint of ewcm or any other signs. Sorry for tmi but I’m as dry as a dessert down there! Like unusually dry. Coupled with a few hot flashes (mild to be fair) I’m convinced there’s not been an egg this cycle. I guess I could test at some point but it hadn’t crossed my mind.

Cleo - thanks for letting me know what happened to you. It is reassuring to know that you had squiffy cycles but that they’ve now returned quite regular.

Chat-you're making me feel quite guilty. I'm back home which I'm treating as a holiday so having tea, coffee, ice cream and had a glass of wine yesterday and a cider today...that's really bad I know but I need to relax a bit about ttc and that's relaxing to me so for a few days I'll try not to think about how good (or bad) I'm being with my diet.
On the positive side I went to see my trusted ob-gyn today and he said there's still some blood left (I am still bleeding but not much at all so hope it'll finish soon) but everything else is looking good and my body is slowly gearing up for ovulation (though not imminent). He said we can absolutely ttc asap without waiting until another cycle, he's had a few pregnancies where women conceived right after mc and felt quite optimistic about me getting pregnant again within 3 months. I also got more progesterone to take as soon as I get a bfp, on top of the normal progesterone I took when I was pregnant with ds he also gave me some tablets that have progesterone. I should've asked about the difference but I've read a lot about both online so will Google it to understand. It'd be nice if I could prove him right and get pregnant quickly...
Karigan- how are you doing? Thinking of you x

I meant last cycle Mimosa

@Hobbes39 - thanks for your advice - the benefit of your experience is very helpful 😊 you’re right that at the moment implantation feels like the next goal but I am fully aware that it’s just the next step in a long Road but I’m just trying to think it through one step at a time right now. As for not getting my hopes up - that’s fine, the hope and positivity is great for my sanity during the TWW, but I’m fully aware of how low the chance of success is - really glad we paid for 3 cycles as it takes some of the stress and pressure off this one.

@Cookiewaffle -I think it’s very important that FSH and LH blood tests are done on CD3 - can’t believe your doc didn’t mention that. I would check it out before you go or you might waste a whole cycle!

@Littlemimosa - I’m so sorry you’re feeling so down and wish i knew what to say to help! Cleo’s experience sounds hopeful for you but may be worth taking a hpt just in case?!

Thanks @CritterTamer I think I'll be calling them up again....

And @Dickybow321 sorry! I keep making myself hungry too! xx

Catching up again. .no internet for the past week and I've missed our thread.

Critter... The photo is brilliant. Reminds me of a button! Just so lovely for you. Wish you lots of luck x

Welcome claire and hobbes.. Very sad to read of your experiences. Thinking of you and blowing lots of baby dust your way! X

Karigan .. Thinking of you and hoping you're feeling ok x

I have a little story to relay ..sorry not a positive one sadly. The girls at work were talking about Bridget Nielson being preg at 53..she was mentioned on here recently. They were saying 53 is just way too old and she looks weird. They were all smug about it as they all have had their DCs under 40. Me included (well i was 41) as i have one DS. But i wondered what they'd make of it if i suddenly announced i was expecting at 46!! Would i be weird too i wonder? ! I think i'm the 2nd oldest on here. People's perceptions of older women conceiving are so varied. What does it matter what age you are as long as you love and support the child and have a good number of years with them? Ok rant over! !

BOOSEYS - I often wonder what people’s reactions would be if I ever got pregnant again. I know some people think I’m younger than what I am and I don’t advertise my age However some do obviously, and I just think I’d be so happy if it did happen I probably wouldn’t give a shit what anyone thought. It’s just so all around us with celebrities having children later in life too. Also it was just one of those things in my grandma’s generation too having babies in your forties - it’s nothing new.

From talking to some people I think many who are in their forties and make negative remarks I do think they probably wish they’d tried again or secretly would love another to be honest - not all of them but definitely some .

And yes - what does age really matter at the end of the day - I’ve seen plenty of shit parents who are younger xx

Hi boosey I'm been thinking the same (I'm 42)
IF it ever worked, I've wondered how people would react... they would think one of 2 things, either I'm trying for the other sex (have 2 the same) or it was an accident. Both would be completely wrong....! I started to think I'd have to almost defend a pregnancy!
Then I have to admit I started thinking am I actually too old for this?? I'm so close to calling it a day you know....

"I’ve seen plenty of shit parents who are younger" ...exactly Matts! 😄😄
Weasle ..yes i feel the same. So close to calling it a day and post on and off on the one-child families thread which btw is really helpful. I'm just full of guilt for not trying harder sooner. Now i don't even take pre conception vits..just folic acid just in case .. as i feel the chances are so slim and whoever posted up thread that they feel they're hanging on to the fertility cliff face by one finger has hit the nail on the head!

WEASLE - I have two same sex and have been thinking along exactly same lines as you as to what people would think- and yes they’d be very wrong in their assumptions

BOOSEY - that is so bang on - ‘hanging on to the fertility cliff face’. I’m so close to giving up but then I thought the same 2’years ago as well. Just keep getting this ache I wonder if that’s sometimes to do with all the miscarriages I’ve had and wk see I should maybe have counselling for this . Ah well...... what will be, will be ....... have a more good weekend ladies xx

I have an appointment at the beginning of July at the recurrent miscarriage clinic so I'm going to see what they say. I don't see how they can help as I don't seem to b able to get pregnant anymore.
Yes I spent so long undecided whether to try for a third that I think I've missed the boat. But then I should have a 5 month old now if it wasn't for the genetic issue the baby had that caused it to pass away at 14 weeks....

I read these messages whilst in a lull at my youngests sports day.. I do appreciate that I am very blessed and have kiddies.. but I looked around at shitty young parents.. ( sorry) at ladies who are younger than me but look a decade older, mums who are expecting ( and bloody hell there is a fertility epidemic) and all diff age groups between siblings.. I am old (45) some days I feel it and think have I got the energy but mostly you find the energy.. I have friends who have had little ones at 44. But other people opinions, where they can be thoughtless really are just a waste of their hot air because it's no one else's business if you are 40 or 53.. Bridgette looks amazing.. and the naysayers who will condemn for having a baby that age.. well I think stuff them.. my nephew lost his dad when he was 6 months old and his dad was 34.. we only get one go at this life...
saying that.. I would not tell my parents until I had delivered ( but that's a whole other thread) but I would tell all and sundry to bugger off with their negativity.. and keep in pushing my pram with pride..
I take hope from older ladies being pregnant.. it's a blessing and a joy doctors to love to label and scare the crap out of ladies.. ( not all.. some can be supportive) for as long as time ladies have supported ladies in labour.. men thought midwives were witches and killed them.. women quite peacefully had babies at home till drs thought that medical intervention was needed and they then tried to control the whole labour process.. we are not really supporting as older mothers in the nhs process but we are supporting each other and long may it continue 💕
Sending lots of baby dust and hopeful thoughts out to you all.... 💕💕⭐️⭐️⭐️
Oh Orchid222 didn't mean to guilt you..