TTC After Pregnancy Loss Thread 22.

[HidCat]

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A thread for all those who have suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately know as the penguin huddle.

We'll start with a roll call as there have been so many new members lately and so many success stories that I think we've all lost track.

HidCat
Age 35
TTC #2
DS 5
MC at 11wks in January
Cycle 3 post MC, trying since August 2017

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Fab news @rdm10 -fingers crossed for you! X

Congratulations @rdm10!!! Hoping you have a really sticky bean in there ❤️

Hi @Zarala It does seem like pregnancy symptoms. But I am trying not to get my hopes up. Fx for a BFP for us both! Nice to have a cycle twin. I'm going to test friday. Then probably again till af arrives! Lol.

@rdm10 wow - how lush to see it in writing - congratulations! 🎉

@Boboelephant thanks for good luck, think I'll need it, will prob test tomorrow or Wednesday if af doesn't show up as I'm cramping on and off 😞

@zarala taking all my will power to wait but want to def make sure af is late - should be due today although app says tomorrow

@RedRobin7 the guide dog sitting sounds amazing! My dog is my saviour and I'm not over exaggerating. Long walks with him have kept me sane.

@ek78 jam sandwiches fizz and JKS sounds like a dream - and possibly what we should all plan this month?

Hope everyone's feeling positive - lots of love to everyone feeling shite - new week and all that! Xx

@Lilimum4 I can't offer much advice as this is my first ever month attempting bbt- but just wanted to say I feel your pain! I am up and down a lot during the night with my little one (think she's teething) and my patterns are all over the place.
FF has just moved my ovulation date back 2 days now so I have miraculously jumped to DPO6...not complaining!

@rdm10 thats amazing news. Congratulations! Hope its sticky. Xx

@Boboelephant glad you had a nice time.
Not feeling positive really, think im out this month.

12dpo-BFN, will just wait for AF now. Hopefully i get an actual one this month rather than the odd one last month.
Iv worked all week including the weekend and im really tired, cannot be bothered with work again! All in all a shit morning!

Oh man!
I was just perusing the MC boards and checked out the miscarriage boards. There's a thread on there called "when will I be pregnant?" It was originally posted last year by someone after MC and the OP has messaged again a year on to say she's got a newborn now. Another lady who was in the same thread posted too to say she also had her newborn with her and another is in 3rd trimester, even though it took her 14 months to conceive after MC. Others have been posting to say they're now pregnant after MC too. I literally started blubbing when I read those messages of hope. I hadn't realised how much I've just been feeling like it won't happen. I think my zen state is more that I'm in disbelief that I'll ever manage to have a successful pregnancy. I feel like my soul has been healed a little bit more this morning.
I might have to actually actively try next cycle; now I've realised I just feel a bit like I've given up. I know it's still fairly early days since my MC, and I don't really doubt my ability to get pregnant again, I think I've just been doubting I'll ever have a healthy baby, but this has given me some hope to hold on to.

@KnitKitty I'm glad you found the positives in the thread. I know how you feel and knowing other people are going through the same struggle and end up with their little miracles is the hope I need to cling on to too. I'm glad this has made you want to active start TTC again and I hope it's not long before you get your bfp.

9dpo and of course bfn, only using ics though I'll use a frer on 12dpo I think and if that's negative I'll bow out this month. I think everything is starting to get to me now, it's been nine months since the mc and each month I just lose more hope. I'm even starting stupid arguments with DH over anything (like him not washing my uniform) I don't think I'm coping well right now.

I'm sorry to see some of you ladies are feeling very low (((hugs))) I hope thinks improve for you. I choose to believe we will all get our miracle babies eventually. We just need to hold on tight.

I'm feeling low today too. I can't help but feel really crap during AF ( know I shouldn't) always feels like a fail. Its like a kick in the head every time. Today I should be 20 weeks pg with my little bean but instead I'm lying down with a hot water bottle clamped to a very unpregnant belly.

Does anyone else ever feel the same

DaisyMay25 Sorry you feel like you're not coping very well at the moment. Have you had counselling since MC? It might help?
9dop is very early, so don't worry about BFN just yet. Hugs xxx

@rdm10 Congratulations! Keeping everything crossed for you that this one sticks xx

@KnitKitty That's so lovely the OP came back to the thread to give a positive update. It does give us all hope!

So yesterday I used two ICs at either side of the day. BFN. This morning I caved (10/11dpo) and I have a very very faint line. I know not to get my hopes up. Will test again in the morning and then I better get myself some more tests. Silly me for thinking I'd have the willpower to wait! 🙈 Not told my husband yet as want it to be a clear positive first.

@rdm10 congratulations!! Hope it's a smooth pregnancy for you!
@ek78 haha!!! Any way you can add some flavour hey? 😂 Hope ov holds off for you until you get back.
@Claire138 it might be something to try. We have tried it before as well as SMEP but last few months have just been marathoning. Think I'll suggest it to DH- although I'm sure he won't be pleased to lose his daily fix!! Haha 😂
@Lilimum4 I think you just get used to remembering to temp. I put thermometer right next to bed and phone so I see it immediately. To be fair if it's just having a quick stretch I don't think it'll make a huge difference!
@YellowDaffodils86 and @DaisyMay25 sorry for bfn. Sending hugs.
@RedRobin7 keeping everything crossed for you.

Hugs to all who need it. I hope we all get there in the end. I know the feeling when it all seems impossible!

Keeping everything crossed @RedRobin7

Hugs to all those who need them.

First day back at work today after my holiday (and seeing Johnny depp as part of the Hollywood vampires on sat night-teenage dream come true!)

I'm 7DPO after the holiday JKS...so trying not to get hopes up or symptom spot...but it's so hard! When I caught last time it was just a case of what will be will be so I never felt this desperate urge...now I just NEED to be preggers again. Does that make sense? I have quite an obsessive nature anyway so trying not to get too hung up is very hard!!!

RedRobin7 I really hope this is the first glimmer of some very exciting news!!! Please keep us updated!

Lilimum4 Hugs. I would have been coming up to 23 weeks this week. Very strange to think about. I've been avoiding thinking about it to be honest, but I'm not sure suppressing it is healthy either. Just feel the pain when it comes and ride it out. You will feel better again (especially when AF finishes, that' never helps!)

YellowDaffodils86 I hope your day gets better. I was working all weekend too. Exhausted.

Good luck to those in FW and TTW. Hope AF isn't being too mean to those who are enduring her visit atm. And those in the limbo stage inbetween AF and FW, hang in there, keep yourselves busy!

Not sure where I'm at in my cycle. I think I may be ovulating or about to ovulate. I've had funny sensations and almost pains for a few days which are coming and going so trying not to tell myself I have a cyst growing. Could just be ovary doing its thing... I hope. We've only DTD twice this month so far, once just after AF and again about 4 or 5 days ago so I'm pretty sure my chances are very slim this month, but not too bothered. Going to properly try next cycle.
I took another test this morning and got the BFN I've been waiting for. I think the one I took after AF must have been lingering hormones from CP.

@rdm10 congratulations! And @RedRobin7 hoping those lines get clearer for you.

I think I'm about to ovulate too @KnitKitty and we've only DTD once this cycle Been working horrible hours, just finished nights this weekend. Hoping we can JKS this evening in time for ovulation, but like some of you ladies I am beginning to not feel very hopeful in this whole TTC journey. Maybe some sleep will help...off for my post nights nap!

Massive congrats @rdm10 no mistaking that at all. Bring on more bfps!!

@RedRobin7 good luck for the line getting darker soon!

@Laney79 I know the feeling I was pregnant 4 weeks ago now I'm not . I found this urge crept in almost immediately like the day I started bleeding of NEEDING to be pregnant . My hormones settled and I started thinking straighter the last few days , xoxoxox

@KnitKitty I know it's early but I just don't feel like I'm pregnant this month. Unfortunately my therapist passed away late last year and my doctors haven't gotten a new one yet so for counselling I'd have to go private. I do wonder if it might do me and DH good to go together though, he never talks about it. I think that's because I suffer badly with depression and he feels like he has to be the one to be strong.

Thanks everyone! I'm driving myself mad today - I've looked at this morning's test 100 times already and still feeling like I can't trust that it's positive yet. I've not used FRERs before so if there's a faint line today which is 3 days before period is due, is it likely to be any darker tomorrow? Not sure how quickly these lines appear or disappear.

I hope I'm not upsetting anyone, sorry if I am.

@RedRobin7 fingers crossed it turns into a nice dark line! My first FRER was so faint (at about 10dpo I think) I tested again 2 days later and it was much darker! Hope it all works out for you 🤞

Oooo
How exciting @RedRobin7 . I got a v b faint pos at 10dpo and then tested with v b strong fmu and got a good line at 11dpo.. not as equally dark as control line but a good solid one none the less

Fx @RedRobin7 !!!

Please keep us posted
My doctor wants me to test at 10dpo and I'm so worried as I've never got a BFP before AF was due - so it will be great to hear how you get on!!!

Dpo6 here- first month TTC since 3rd MMC in March
Weird twinges in lower abdomen
Really don't want to symptom spot
I am really anxious about getting a BFP
The idea of seeing a positive line is already freaking me out
I have had 3 mc's since last August - saw heartbeats twice
I just don't know how IF it happens for me I will be able to relax for about 9 months!
Ahhh
Now I am worried that we have TTC to soon and maybe I should just wait

But then I get worried that if I get a Bfn I am also going to be really upset

Eugh... think I'm going to try some meditation 🧘🏽‍♀️ and try and do some yoga this week -

Sorry just needed to vent

With

Ladies, I took some time out (DD’s First Holy Communion, Fathers Day, our new house finally being completed – although we’re not moving in for a few weeks). Period over by CD3 and cramps / issues seem to be much better so maybe antibiotics have done the trick….

@rdm10 excellent news; I will confess to a pang of jealousy but am so pleased for you, and it should give us all hope.
@Pancakes7 and @Zarala here’s to similarly good news coming up for yiou both.
@ YellowDaffodils86 onwards and upwards for you… sorry about the shit morning (and know all about the not feeling bothered about work, although it’s forcing me to be a bit more pragmatic about what I actually do… hopefully it can be similarly positive for you.
@KnitKitty… the feeling hopeless side of things really gets to me… although I had my eldest almost 8 years ago (was heavily pregnant painting her room in the 2010 world cup) and in theory I should have another 8 years of fertile ish years left, so I’m sure we’ll both get there in the end. It’s just hard feeling like life is on hold until it happens.
@Lilimum4 it feels like dark old days when you realise how pregnant you should be. I should be coming up to being able to find out what we were having… instead flabby and lethargic.
@Boboelephant… I spotted your bad news a couple of days ago and have been thinking of you all weekend. I’m glad you managed to find some solace in having a few drinks. Again, onwards and upwards for you. I’m sure it’ll be your turn soon.
Thinking of all of you I’ve forgotten too…..

Feeling a bit down here today and had a good cry in the car on my way to/from work. It’s six months and two days since my Mum committed suicide and the whole Loughborough Junction news has brought back the horror of what happened. I thought I’d begin to have got over the shock by now but every time I think about it it just makes me more sad/angry etc…

@zarala I wish I could say something to ease your mind but I'd probably be exactly the same, and I've only had one.

@Pampl3m0usse I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. I hope you're ok.