TTC after miscarriage Thread 21. JKS

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New thread 🐧🐧

@Lilimum4 it's supposed to be pale "cool" blonde (non peroxide type as my hair was already blonde), but has gone a bit red at the roots for some reason. Hoping it's going to settle in a few washes as they usually do.

@BettySwoll0cks welcome and I'm sorry for all you've been through. Hope you have your bfp soon. I love the name by the way!

@HidCat sounds quite nice tbh. Mine is boring brown. I've tried dying it but it doesn't hold colour.

Hi everyone I hope it’s ok I join! I feel like a little excited puppy as I have just spent the last 2-3 hours glued to my phone reading every single post in this thread 🙈 and feel like I know all of you already lol! I’m sorry we’re all here but totally agree with what some of you have been saying where friends/family/colleagues seem to think you’re miraculously ok and it’s more of a taboo now.

Background on me... TTC #1 since Jan, fell first cycle but was unfortunately a chemical. Fell again in March with a BFP on my 25th birthday but MC 5w3d naturally at home that very night after returning from A&E.

Not trying again for a few months due to being probably not quite mentally ready but also an exciting new job offer! But I would still love to get involved and chat with you all.

Congrats to those with their BFPs and baby dust to everyone else 💫 xxx

I have been absent for a few days and there is so much to read. Hope everyone is well

@Ells0204 hello and welcome. I'm sorry for your losses. This group is a great place to chat, ask advice and just off load sometimes. We all understand as we are all here for the very same reason. Baby dust to you too when your ready to try. X

Oh @Cakelaur what lovely pictures! So pleased for you. One day I hope we all can post similar snaps.

Welcome to all the new lasses-so sorry to see you here, but be assured this thread is one if the few things that's helped stop me freaking out.

That said-having a bad day today. Four weeks on from physical MC, 10 weeks since finding out, and I'm still bleeding/passing gloopy blood. And having pain every day. Was hoping this was my period after sudden heavy bleeding for half a day+ on Tuesday but I'm back to AF snot as I've nicknamed it, and the pain is still there-steady, no reduction in flow or anything. Checked my cervix today and it's also still open. So frankly I feel like this will never end. Just want a day where I don't pass anything and I don't have pain-is that really too much to ask?

Sobbed earlier. Off on hols on Thursday so I was doing my packing, trying on swimming cozzies and realised they shouldn't be fitting by now, I should have a 19 week bump...but I don't.

I should be looking forward to my holiday, but I'm beginning to dread it. It was meant to be last foreign trip before bean arrived. Now I'm trying to figure out how much tampax/pads to take, and wether there's any point in taking opks...as things stand I won't even be able to go in the water, let alone make love. I miss my man terribly.

It's just awful. I just need it to stop now. I'm so tired.

Sorry to be a moaning Minnie-I've just had enough. 😢 X

@Laney79 I think you should get checked out. This much pain and bleeding I'm sure is not normal and you may have retained products. Please don't suffer in silence, call your doc. 🐧🐧🐧🐧

Oh Laney79 💔

I echo HidCat. See if you can get checked out before you head off on Thursday, even if it's just to point you in the right direction.

Oh @Laney79, I totally agree with others, you poor thing get yourself checked out . You should not be in so much discomfort, it only lengthens your pain x sending you hugs and kisses xx

Sad to see lots of new names - welcome and sorry for your losses. x

YellowDaffodils86 I'm so with you. It's really shit not knowing what's going on. What can we do but wait?

Still no AF at CD 41 (I usually have a 35 day cycle so 6 days late), no symptoms of sign AF besides twingy boobs. Very definite BFNs. On 2/3 of my MCs I've got BFPs at day 42 and day 48 so I'm thinking it could be another non-viable pregnancy that is slowly developing but not detectable yet. I'm getting really fed up as is DH, there's a sense of preparing for a storm.

Laney This does sound like it could do with investigating?

@Laney79 and @SerenaOverjoyed and @YellowDaffodils86 I'm really sorry your having such a tough time. Sending hugs and hoping things get better soon

Posted a bit too soon, sorry it's taking so long Laney, that's really rough especially before a holiday

Sorry DaisyMay for the fadey lines. It's so hard, poas prompts so much emotion

Happy to see the bfps and cakelaur's lovely scan pic

Thanks Lilmum for the understanding

@HidCat yes it does help, thank god for this thread.
Its funny, my whole life i have never paid attention to my cycles. Now it seems to be one of the things i pay most attention too.
This time last year i was on my hen do, ttc was the last thing i was thinking of. I never thought it would have started this way.

@DaisyMay25 mmm well you never know and you said it was 4 days early.
In some way im glad it wasnt a bfp as id worry if it was a viable one. Just wish af would arrive, maybe ill miss this one🤷🏻‍♀️
This is my 2nd cycle since mc.

@MrsGS76 these thoughts sometimes
Get to me the most, the whole iv already achieved what i trying to achieve, why am i back to the start.
Sometimes I stupidly wonder if i ever wanted it enough and if my worry about having a baby and those doubts you have when you are digesting the news, maybe felt like it wasnt wanted. Even as I type that i know it's ridiculous but your mind likes to torment you.
Sorry you are having a crap time too, we will get there in the end 🤞

@Cakelaur beautiful 😍

@Wellthisunexpected thank you.

@hayleyfx 🤞for the morning
@BettySwoll0cks @Ells0204 welcome both of you.😊

@Lilimum4 hey join the little crappy day crew , hope you are ok and feel brighter too.

@Laney79 you have had it so rough. Maybe try see a doctor before you go away. At least that may help you get some answers and you can hopefully enjoy your time away.
I know its all shit. But hopefully can only go up from here.

@SerenaOverjoyed i know, not much we can do. It's annoying.
I can understand your frustrations. But if you do get a bfp soon, doesn't mean it wont be viable. However I understand why you would be worried. I have all things crossed good things happen🤞

Anyone got thunder storms? Im sure i can hear one in the distance. Iv also left the washing on the line, oh bugger!

@Laney79 compromise with us.... call 111 tomorrow and ask for advice.

After suffering with back pain (when I knew all along it wasn't actual back pain) for three weeks I'm so glad I bit the bullet and got somebody to look into it.
Yes I felt like a fraud and a waste of time waiting for the gynae team to come see me in A&E but when they did all I got was reassurance I'd done the right thing. I've was given a thorough going over and have a scan lined up for next week.
Retained products does not always show up as described. I've had no abnormal bleeding or cramps. Just the back ache and the lump of tissue I passed at the start of this AF. Hopefully that was it.

Don't go on holiday suffering when you don't have too.

Just phone them. See what they say and follow their advice love.

Thanks everyone. Still the same this morning.

I actually rang the EPAU last weekend (ours is open in the morning over the weekend) and the nurse told me as if had a negative pregnancy test, and I wasn't feeling hot/fluey and had no smelly discharge the pain and bleeding/gloopy stuff was nothing to worry about (so I guess no retained products) but it just doesn't feel right-surely my cervix should be closed by now?.

My GP is ringing me on Wednesday, so if things don't change by then hopefully she'll be able to do something.

It just feels like yet another thing my body is letting me down on. I want to get back to normal. I want to be TTC like you guys. Thanks for the messages. Will let you know how it goes. X

@Wellthisisunexpected great line. Congrats!
@hayleyfx I think it's congrats for you too but good luck testing today!!
@DaisyMay25 I hope it's not af hun and just some pregnancy spotting. Have you had any more bleeding or done any more tests?
@Cakelaur I'm thrilled for you and love it when you post. It's nice to still hear from the ones who get their bfps! I actually find it harder when people just disappear.
@KnitKitty haha calm your tits... 🤣 I wish I knew how to tell you to stop obsessing but I'm a terrible culprit! I unfortunately realised after my MC that my symptoms massively ramped up so all these things I'd never noticed before are now a regular occurence. Our bodies seems to change a lot after MC. That said I'll cross my fingers for you that burps=bfp!
@Yukka and @MrsGS76 welcome and so sorry for your losses.
@zarala hey hun. I'm ok. Still here. Forever here. I really hope it's my month too, thankyou! Cd10 so just waiting for fw to start. Should ovulate next weekend. When do you get your results?
@weasledee fx! JKS!!! 🤺🛌
@KeefBurtain and @BettySwoll0cks welcome and I'm sorry you find yourselves here. Both your names gave me a little giggle.
@YellowDaffodils86 and @SerenaOverjoyed I'm so sorry this is still dragging on for you. It is true that our cycles can be pretty messed up in the first few months after MC but that doesn't make it less crap. I hope you get out of limbo soon.
@Lilimum4 and @MrsGS76 sorry you are having a tough time. Into the huddle for you. 🐧
@Jessabean fx if you do test today!
@HidCat hope it settles down. Nice to have a change, I just got mine done on Friday too.
@Ells0204 welcome and sorry for your losses.
@Primrose16 hello! Nice to hear from you. How are you? How far along are you now?
@Laney79 I'm so sorry you are still going through this. It's just not fair. If I was you I'd call the EPU again today. You may get a different nurse and even if it's the same one it's a week on and you had the heavy bleeding Tuesday. Calling and saying it doesn't feel right can't hurt! I really hope you can move on from this soon and start ttc again. 🐧🐧

I'm feeling a bit crap the last few days too. I'm really worried that I'm never going to get my bfp again and if I do I'll lose it. I feel like everyone else is getting pregnant- my fb page taunts me- and I'm just stationary. I'm very aware that my first EDD is in 4 weeks and my baby should be turning one. Then 2 weeks later is my second EDD. Facing those dates and STILL not being pregnant is now extremely likely and feels insurmountable. I hate how all consuming this is but how little control I have.

Thank you all so much ladies... I think I’ve actually got my BFP 😬😭 (happy tears haha!) I did a frer today and an unmistakeable line popped up immediately. It’s not very dark but it’s definitely darker than my other tests! I’m shaking so much 🤣 still nervous beyond belief but actually starting to believe it now... 😀

@Laney79 I’m so sorry this is still dragging out for you! I’d definitely get some advice - I was told that your cervix should close once all the products have passed and to phone if my pain continued for over a couple weeks. I would phone just to get checked & get peace of mind! I hope it’s all over soon for you. Sending hugs

@SerenaOverjoyed oh no I’m sorry hun! I really hope it’s not. Are you going to test? Fingers crossed for you 🤞

@SerenaOverjoyed if it is pregnancy it could be fine. Keeping everything crossed for you.

@Boboelephant I wish there was something I could say that would take the heartache away. Thinking of you lots though and just wish I could give you a hug.

@hayleyfx yey! Congratulations hun.

So I've tested this morning and no BFP 😔 thought maybe I could see a slight ghost of a line if I held up to the light but I think its just wishful thinking. Am 9dpo I think today and last first times I've checked when pregnant had a faint but definite lines at 10dpo so would have thought would have something more def on a FRER today if is happening. May be too early though so will check again in a few days just pre AF to be certain. Was kind of setting myself up for disappointment really. Wish I could just be more chill & wait!

Congratulations @hayleyfx that's a definite line! Do you mind me asking you how many dpo you are?

Sorry @Boboelephant @Laney79 & @Lilimum4 that you guys are feeling so crappy. I wish there was something I could do or say to make us all feel better in this awful journey... it is just sh!t! Am hoping you all get that break and healthy BFP soon though & hoping you can get some answers @Laney79 so you can get back to normal for moving on. Hugs to you all.

@hayleyfx yay congratulations!!!!
@HidCat thanks hun 🐧❤

@Jessabean sorry for bfn but it is still very early. One day can make a big difference so don't give up yet. And thankyou!

Morning ladies!

@MrsGS76 Welcome to the group! I have to say you were very brave to choose the natural option. I really struggled when they told me to go home and decide. My husband thought the natural method would be best for me but I worried about the mental side of dealing with seeing the baby come out and the pain. The surgical management was quick for me and they allowed my husband to stay in my room whilst I was in theatre. I did feel it was a little inhumane to allow someone to remove my baby but I was comforted by the fact the hospital arranged a little cremation. It was still very hard for me and I'm now having counselling but I can't imagine how you (and the others who chose the same option) managed to get through that. I'm pleased you were able to say goodbye to your baby in the way you wanted.

I too had an early scan (at 8 weeks) and was told the baby was measuring a week behind. I was very upset but the sonographer and my two midwives in the weeks following all reassured me things would be okay because there was a heartbeat. I remained nervous but thought I'd got there as I had no bleeding when I went for my 12 week scan and received the news. I guess deep down I knew because my symptoms disappeared but many people do find the baby catches up and things work out so I remained hopeful.

@KeefBurtain Welcome too! My period came 4 weeks and 3 days after my surgical management. I bled for most of the in between stage and it was mostly light brown and then I had a few clear days so I knew it was my period. I know how frustrating the wait is so I hope you get your period soon.

@BettySwoll0cks And @Ells0204 Welcome to you both too and sorry you find yourselves here.

@YellowDaffodils86 So sorry you're feeling that way but you're definitely not alone. Even if we are just strangers behind random names - we all care 😊 My DH doesn't understand either and I know that he's not into any of this like I am and that due to his anxieties he's only TTC for my benefit. Similar to you, I wonder if the MC was because life was telling me he isn't ready. I don't know what the point is to life without a family so I'm going to continue to ask him to work with me on this! I'm struggling so much since the MC but the only thing keeping me going is hope that I'll see another BFP some day and it won't end badly.

Yesterday I should have been 22 weeks and I can't stop thinking about the bump I should have by now. I woke up yesterday to a girl I used to be friends with announcing that she'd just had a baby. Life seems to be perfect for her and I just don't understand why some people have all the luck. She's got a loving husband who was so excited to be a dad, they've just bought a massive new house and now a perfect baby. My husband would never shout baby news from the rooftops, I have shitty neighbours who I can't afford to move away from and a spare bedroom which should have been a nursery soon. ☹️

My counsellor says I should try writing down my feelings so I guess in a way, by writing on MN, that's just what I'm doing! I got back from my holiday yesterday and already feeling sorry for myself - full of cold, heavy period, sat on my sofa when I got back and then BAM migraine started and spent the evening in bed! We are going on holiday again on Friday (this time just me and DH) and we will be TTC during the hol!

Sorry for the long post! Wanted to catch up with as many posts as possible before starting my day.

@Laney79 You definitely require a second opinion. I'm really shocked you aren't getting the support. My EPU were amazing and I was straight back there at the first sign of complications. You need answers because this isn't good for your mental or physical health so keep pushing them until you get it. Thinking of you xx

@Jessabean Sorry for the BFN but you're not out yet. Each pregnancy can be different so maybe you will pick it up on a test in a few days. I was testing like mad in January and had negatives and positives in alternate days! I drove myself mad!

@RedRobin7 I'm glad your getting the counselling you need and you will find a way to work through everything. See if you can find a solution to the living arrangements, even if it's just joining the council list to start with (I did that years ago and something else cropped up before we got anywhere near the top of the list but I felt pro-active at least). Enjoy your holiday!

jessabean I see something on that test. Try again in 2 days. My line at 11dpo was quite faint.

Hayleyfx congratulations! Lovely line. Here's hoping for a sticky bean for us both.

Sorry some of you are having crappy times. I get it. The journey is so hard sometimes. Big hugs to you all.

And Laney 4 weeks of pain and bleeding is NOT normal. Please get seen. You have nearly 10 women with at least 12 miscarriages between us saying we haven't had it.