Fed up fed up fed up FED UP!!!!!!

[Kate8989]

Sorry ladies just felt like a rant......
Had a fricking shit year so far that doesn’t seem to be getting better at the moment. I have good days and bad days but feeling fed up today. I think watching the wedding making me feel more down as everyone looks happy and beautiful and I’m sat here looking like waynettea slob 😂 x

Yh it sure is a long journey..im on cd 40 waitin on af to arrive my temps dropped past2 days and i have pretty bad cramps uuughh

@thisisouryrfx18- bless you, do you have irregular cycles? Mine are usually every 5-6 weeks so quite long..... x

Normally every6 wks aswell i ovulated 13 days ago tested n got a negative this morning and with the temp drops assuming my periods gonna come 2morro

@physicskate. I will wait until I get my day 28 back and if it's still low then I will call them about upping the dose and having some scans. My cervical mucus has been weird this cycle - I've had like two weeks worth of watery/ewcm!!

I hope you get something sorted re your thyroid. I had an overactive thyroid as a teen and it completely stopped my periods for a long time. It can wreak havoc if it's over/under but it's treatable. Kinda ironic - mines at optimum level for the first time in years and now I'm not ovulating lol!!

Pregnant women and bumps everywhere!!!- I’m not bitter at all 😳 x

@lookingatthestars89 - sounds like a great plan!!

I am hopeful about my thyroid... IF they listen to me at all. Very thankful at the moment that I''m cd22 and quite a way off ovulation - will give me time to sort thyroid!

@Kate8989 we re entitled to feel bitter i think i used to think thats terrible dnt think that way but i feel v angry and bitter atm especially after this cycle my chart looked gr8 got my hopes up again for nothing again. It just isnt fair when its soo easy for sum ppl and they dnt even appreciate it uughh

@thisisouryrfx18- I just feel such a mess at the moment. I ache, feel ugly. I just don’t feel like a woman. I know that sounds awful but how can I feel good being in an induced menopause at 28?! There’s no way to sugar coat it, I think that’s why I feel so bitter x

Yh it prob wnt help that ur hormones r all over the place, i feel bloated as fuck. I look 3mnths pregnant!

Having another one of those weekends 😢 feeling pissed off and fed up with my life. Very much in “why me, why me” mode!!! When will I see the light xx

@Kate8989 ive been the same have u told oh? It might help if u can lean on one another..its soo tough. Maybe u need a hol im not trivialising btw sum time to reflect and figure out a plan would u consider adoption ive been thinking about it alot recently

@thisisouryrfx18- don’t get me wrong, my OH is WONDERFUL but I feel I’m putting too much on him. This is hard enough anyway what we’re going through without me making it worse. I’m worried how this will all end. I keep having good days then major major down days xxx

@Kate8989 get urself to the docs hun, i know ul prob think the only thing that will help me is if i have a baby but u need help to sort ur head out..i went on ADs and pills for anxiety im still sad and mad that im not pregnant yet but im not in the hole i was in x or even councelling a professional that u can spill ur guts to ive done that aswell it helps.to ferl like someone has listened to u

@thisisouryrfx18- I’m a bit funny with tablets. The doctor gave me some antidepressants weeks ago but I’ve refused to take them. I went to see a counsellor but didn’t enjoy the experience, I’ve had lots of counselling in the past so know it works. This time round it didnt. I know it’s like I’m poo pooing all things but I know for a fact a healthy baby would cure me but I don’t thnk I’ll get one xx

I completely understand im the same im far from rainbows n sunshine trust me but they helped me function a bit better. I was breaking down cryin all the time not sleepin eatin..at least now i can enjoy time with my family and friends a bit more

I have to say im with @thisisyourfx18 on this one. You may be making your situation harder than it needs to be by not taking the meds you were prescribed. I resisted for quite awhile - probably close to a year.

I feel like the rug has been pulled out from me too. Now with all this thyroid shit it looks like putting off ivf longer. I know a half a dozen people who have not only become pregnant and had their first, but are now pregnant with (or HAVE in two cases) a second... I should have a baby by now. But I don't. It's a bit shit but these are the cards we've been dealt. When we come out the other side, it will be ok. But YOU decide how this affects you. Take some of your power back.

@Kate8989 u dnt have to b on them the rest of ur life either i only took them for a few months and they helped get me back on my feet. If ud seen the state i was in ud believe me if i can get through it so can u ! ❤

@Kate8989 r u k?

@thisisouryrfx18- yes sorry... I do appreciate what you’re all saying. Problem is with me obviously I have been diagnosed with a gynaecological problem (endometriosis) so although I haven’t been told I can’t conceive, I feel it’s a major hurdle.
I’m taking a lot of painkillers at the moment for pains I’m getting from the endo which I’m likely to have to do until my next op. So
thats why I’m not keen on taking anymore pills
When I’m low I’m good at making myself feel lower, so I’m sat here thinking about growing old childless and I’d rather not grow old xx

I know we all have those moments of its never goin to happen for me dnt apologise..i understand u dnt want to burden ur oh but hes prob sitting worrying about the same things open up to him. Ttc this long either strengthens ur relationship or breaks it. I tell my oh when i feel down n he told me he feels the same way but he didnt want to burden me, u need to b there for one another

@thisisouryrfx18- tell me about it. Its just such a frustrating situation as my OH hates seeing me like this. There’s nothing he can do, I feel shit (physically and emotionally) and I feel like I’m letting him down which makes me feel horredous....
I just don’t kbow what to do I really don’t, I’m in such a rut and feel so alone x

@Kate8989 ur not alone believe u me i know how u feel i was literally the same. PLEASE take ur ADs just try them what do u have to lose at this point..well possibly alot if u dnt! If u cant do it for urself think how its affecting ur oh and family x

@kate8989 I have thought everything you are thinking. This hurdle for you is shit.

For me, I am reaching a slightly better place than in my worst days when I was suicidal. You can come out the other side. I view this as a test of patience - which is very needed when a parent. In some way, shape or form, I will be a parent - even if it's just to my cat. I can't lose myself to this. I won't let infertility kill me; I'm too strong for that (even though I've needed a lot of help and support to be strong).

Take the help when it's offered. It can only help.

I’m not sure if this Zoladex is having some
effect on me emotionally? I’ve really gone down in the last few days, maybe it’s just settling into my system. I don’t want to stop it though as it should place me in better stead for my next operation.
I just don’t know how anything like a counsellor or a tablet will make me better as I know what would make me better is that makes any sense? They can’t give me a
healthy reproductive system and baby! That’s why I’m reluctant to pump more drugs into my body or pay someone £40 an hour to tell me gosh you’re going through a lot at the moment x

@physicskate sorry to hear u felt soo low..i always have adoption in the back of my mind. The actual adoption and it not being being my biological child i could live with(id b more sad for my oh cause he really wants kids) its more the invasion on ur life. Social workers etc poking around and scrutinising ur whole life, no one has a perfect life obvs. I dunno i sometimes feel like it would take it out of my fucked up bodys hands u know..