TTC after stillbirth

[toots123]

Just wondering if anyone else is ttc after a stillbirth and wanted to join me on this very daunting journey?

@cherry08 i think it was about 6 or 7 weeks for first period, next one was three and a bit weeks later (usual cycle was 28 or 29 days) then had a 28 day (hooray!) Then nothing.... did a test, negative. Cursed a bit then did another test a few days later and got a BFP. I think it took until my 'normal' cycle to ovulate. Thank you so much 😊 hanging around here though for a while yet xx

Hi, am hoping it is okay for me to join you ladies? Although not technically a stillbirth, we lost our beautiful little girl at 23 weeks in June.

I looked at the other TTC after miscarriage threads but just don't know if i fit there to be honest as most are early losses. I've had 2 early miscarriages before this one so I know what the pain is like, but it is incomparable to losing our daughter.

Sorry for the ramble, hope what i have typed actually makes some sense!

Hi @Mimmee i just replied to say join us on here!

How you doing? We are all at different stages and have some rainbows on the way.

So sorry about yout little girl.... do you know what happened? X

I had a bit of a complicated pregnancy with a large SCH from 10 weeks and bleeding all through the pregnancy (with several hospital admissions along the way). I PPROM'ed at about 20 weeks and sadly went into labour at 23 weeks as a result of chorioamnionitis (not sure of spelling!)

The consultant basically said that looking back through my notes that things looked pretty bleak from the start and coupled with the placenta histology it looks like the ongoibg bleeding was from the placenta and parts of it had stopped working correctly.

No underlying clotting disorders that they can find although he has advised to be thorough to have a couple more blood tests for the rarer ones just incase.

Should get them back in a few weeks and then will be ok to start TTC again.

Don't know if I feel better or worse that they can't find a cause. TTC again feels like it will be taking a massive leap of faith.

He did advised they would put me on baby aspirin as soon as I get a positive test, just as a precaution. Has anyone else had this advice?

Sorry for the essay, I did type in paragraphs but not sure where they disappeared to!

@cherryo88 i lie, it was 5 weeks until first AF but i think it varies a lot.

@mimmee i am sorry, it sounds like you have had such a rough ride and rubbish care which is even more frustrating. I hope you are getting the care and support you need ongoing.

On the aspirin front, i had this convo with someone the other day and i think it is to prevent clots. Don't apologise for the essay, i am the worst rambler (and typist!!) i am amazed i make any sense sometimes!!

@Mimmee I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our dd last year at 27 wks, it seems to have very much been related to the placenta also. They have tested me for all the clotting and I also got the all clear. However my consultant was not happy to proceed without basically treating me like I do have a clotting disorder. I am on 150mg aspirin (I was on 75mg in my pregnancy with dd) and 5000iu injection of heparin daily, along with 5 mg dose of folic acid.
I had a sch with dd as well, from 5 wks to 14wks. They are sure that it was on the other side of the placenta but it's hard to not think that the bleeding for so long must have had some impact.
I am currently 17 wks and all seems to be ok. I haven't bled which to me was a huge huge deal. Ask any questions you want, I had a bit of a battle to get current treatment plan.

@miami81 it's really interesting to hear that you have had such a similar journey to us. I am so thrilled for you that you are at 17 weeks with no bleeds...that is wonderful. The constant bleeding was so terrifying and so hard to explain the constant worry to anyone who has not been through it.
Can i ask was dd your first pregnancy? I already have a DS but was interested that the consultant mentioned clotting issues often don't show up until after the 1st pregnancy.
Also, when did you start on the aspirin etc? Pre conception or when you had the positive test?

@Mimmee we have had two earlier pregnancies end in miscarriages at around 8 wks. I wasn't taking aspirin in either of those pregnancies. I took aspirin with dd from positive pregnancy test (75mg), my consultant thinks that because the first two miscarriages were very similar timing and that DD's placenta showed lack of proper development that there is definitely something blood related going on.
I have been taking 150mg of aspirin this time around since positive test and the injections of heparin since 6wks when heartbeat was confirmed.
It's really hard to know what to do. My cousin who had similar but different terrible outcomes to me said that you have to decide if you trust the doctor and then go with it. You can't be second guessing them all the time, otherwise you go mad. So anyway it's up to you but we ended up going to Manchester Tommy's stillbirth clinic to get a second opinion or reassurance opinion from DD's post mortem. They are world leaders in research and they confirmed that their treatment plan would be exactly as our consultant was proposing. So that helped a lot in going forward. Some days feel like they are decades long at the moment and we have big scans coming up at 20 wks (anomaly), 22 wks (uterine Doppler) and 23 wks (placenta scan in Manchester). Which will give us a lot of info on what the plan is from there. It's really tough.

Can I ask did anyone have issues with their breasts post partum? I was given a tablet in hospital to stop my milk coming in which I found worked remarkably well, I had no engorgement or leakage. About one week ago, 4 weeks pp, I noticed a red patch on my left breast. Today I have had stabbing pains within that breast, the patch is redder and bigger (10p size) and another smaller patch has appeared (5p size).
I am very panicked my this. GP thinks it’s mastitis and has prescribed AB but if no improvement in 3-4 days I have to go in to be examined.
Can you get mastitis this late with no milk production?! Anyone else had similar?

Welcome to the worst club in the world @Mimmee and @Cherry088. So so sorry to hear of both of your losses. I agree too that a mc is horrendous but not comparable to a stillbirth/v late loss. You’re in a good group here, we’ve all been through the absolute sh*tter (scuse my French) and so we can relate to lots of things you may be feeling or thinking.

@CherryO88 I didn’t take the tablet you describe but I have had mastitis and it does sound like you have it from what you describe, you’re probably feeling a bit rubbish too – it can make you feel fluey. Take the AB’s and what helps is a warm bath with gentle massage on your boob to work out the blockage. So sorry you’re having to deal with this, not like you have enough on your mind. Hope you’re feeling better soon.
@LittleLuce37 sorry to hear AF turned up but agreed that your cycles seem on track, fingers crossed for next cycle for you.
@Miami81 Glad you’re being thoroughly taken care of in this pregnancy, well deserved.
@askingalways I used “Proceive” which are like mega conception care tabs. They have lots of vit B + other naice pregnancy helpful vits and minerals in them, check them out.

Sorry I haven’t been online this past while. Feels like I’m spinning plates at the moment with DH travelling so much, work is mental and all the other bits. I still haven’t told work I’m pregnant, I want to keep it quiet until I’m literally going into labour but I don’t think that is a feasible plan. 2 other ladies in the office are pregnant, neither have ever had any issues with conception/pregnancy so I feel like an alien in the “pregnant” group here. Nobody understand the anxiety

Oh - and to add, hope everyone is well and having a good week. Sending much love. X

Thanks @partyinthekitchen. I had mastitis/blacked duct with my DD but I could feel that wee lump and was able to massage it. There is no lump just the red patches. I am hoping it is mastitis because google is throwing out much scarier options like inflammatory breast cancer. Terrifying. I’ve started the AB. I have been telling my DH that I’m so weak, felt like this when I was pregnant. I was reasoning it away as recovery +/- grief so this makes more sense.
Huge congrats on your pregnancy, I hope everything goes well for you. The anxiety must be real. The joy of pregnancy is lost after a loss isn’t it, will never be able to just enjoy it for what it is again.
I am now having brown spotting 5 weeks pp. I have no idea what is going on with my body/cycle and it is driving me insane!!!

@partyinthekitchen i had to cave in and tell my line manager today ☹ firstly as i had to reason some planning for next year (erm.... i aint planning on being here) to a senior manager who is likely to slip up and secondly, i am starting to show (in my eyes although trying to disguise it). It was a relief in a way but have made it clear that i am not ready for a big announcement and also, this isn't a fix or even 'happy news' (as she put it like some sticking plaster to a five year old!) it is actually a long and anxiety filled road we are on so just taking it day by day.

How far gone are you now?

Thank you for the warm welcome - this is the first place I have found people who really 'get it.' Some of the things that I have read in this thread I have said myself in the last couple of months.

I know this is a club that none of us want to be in but I am really grateful that I have found you all. Losing a baby can be such a lonely and isolating experience.

Just waiting to get my appointment from the consultant for the more rare clotting disorder tests and then hoping to start TTC soon after... I think I am just worried that if a disorder isn't officially diagnosed then will taking baby aspirin be 'enough' to help? I guess that it's a risk/benefit thing if I haven't had a positive test...I just worry that some clotting disorders seem really hard to pin down a diagnosis on.

I guess TTC again for all of us is a massive leap of faith

Hello! Still to catch up but thought I would say hello.
Th group is still going, for anyone who would like to join please PM me and I'll get you added.

Not very good news here, we found out in August I was pregnant again. After a week we had an ectopic scare then at 9 weeks we were sadly told there was no heartbeat. Going through it all again was awful and a big set back but I'm going better now.

How is everyone? Hope blaw isn't too hard for you all x

Clearly meant to write the Facebook group!!!

Oh @toots123 I am so sorry sweetheart. That's really tough. I had two mc's before losing Eilidh and whilst they are different pain it is all from the same pot and must be so traumatising for you after your previous loss. We are here for you lovely. I am pretty much off Facebook so will probably hang around here but happy to dm or give you my number if you ever want to talk/ text.
I hope you are both being as kind to yourselves as you can be.
I had a really tough day yesterday. You know one of those where you just want to scream at the world 'you know my baby died, right'?? An old friend who has been very much zero contact other then to tell me she was pregnant in April, sent me a pic of her baby girl yesterday. Which I didn't ask for. Why don't people understand that if I wanted to see their perfect newborn baby I would ask? The real trigger for me was that yesterday was our last first (if that makes sense) the anniversary of our beautiful baby girl's funeral. I just wanted to reply with a really hurtful text telling her that she had basically just fucked my day over. But I didn't . But I want to. Or send her a pic of my baby girl's funeral outfit and say this is what we were doing a year ago today. It doesn't even occur to people does it. That your life of being happy about pregnancy announcements and babies is over and has been replaced by a rollercoaster of emotions from pain, to fear, to hope and back to pain again.

@miami81 oh i am sorry you are having a rough time ☹ people just don't think and their life goes on. Did you reply at all?

I had my screening results back today. No idea why but i was nervous and althpugh i know if anything was up i would have had a phone call by friday (bloods were drawn Monday) it was playing on my mind. All come back as low risk so another hurdle over.

How are you TTC ladies getting on, anyone due to test this week? Must be due another BFP?! 😁

Can definitely recommend joining @toots

Opps.... can thoroughly recommend joining @toots123 on the FB group. Never fail to make me smile 😁

@39Suzy I haven't replied as I just think it's too hard for me. And honestly I don't know what I would say. I mean I have already congratulated her. At some stage this week I need to decide if I am getting them a present and send it.
I just hate this shit. I hate feeling like this.
I was really worried about my results as well. I just started to think that on my 4th pregnancy now it was likely that I would encounter chromosome stuff as well. I sometimes wonder where life could have been for us now, our first miscarried baby would be almost two now. Life is just so random.

@miami81 i would reply with something lìke:
Thanks so much for sharing your picture of X. I am so glad that you are getting on well. As you probably know, i am not doing too well but taking each day as it comes

(Read: Unless you are going to ask me how i am, do one!)
It all depends on whether or not you value the friendship or not?

Try not to worry about the results (she says) if it has been low before it is likely to be low again. The anxiety is such a tough road and feel so much guilt and worry too. I am trying to be positive but it is hard to be 'happy' (and carefree i suppose, of course i am happy but not in the sense that everone else is regardless of their well-meaning). Life is a funny thing, we never plan for this but will always shape you and be part of you 😗

Oh lovelies, it's just rubbish that we have to deal with all of this on top of our sadness and stresses.

So I realised I made a mistake on my tracking app and thought my period was due today but it's not until Monday. I took a test this morning and it was BFN. I have constant nausea feeling like I did in early pregnancy and the dull ache of a UTI. But they could equally be symptoms of anxiety and my period being due! It sucks.

Lots of strength to everyone.

Fingers crossed @askingalways i had nausea the month before i conceived which i think may have been hormones settling. Definitely not out yet though ! 🤞🤞🤞🤞 X

Thanks @39Suzy Although I'd love it to be this month next month would be fine too! Thank you :)