TTC after stillbirth

[toots123]

Just wondering if anyone else is ttc after a stillbirth and wanted to join me on this very daunting journey?

@iamloading, so sorry for your loss of baby Beth and also massive congrats on your new baby girl. Enjoy every moment with her.

@Suzy39 That's such great news about your scan, did you see a wiggly little bean or is baby proper baby shaped at this stage?

@miami81 hoping your scan went well this week, fingers all crossed for you.

@Suzy39 nope, not me (tww)! I'm nearly 7 weeks now. Feeling pretty rubbish daily which I hope is good. Having spotting and cramping most days which I am not so positive about as the last 2 pregnancies I had spotting and cramping and both ended in MMC. I want to ignore the pregnancy until early scan day (tbc) but it's hard when I feel like I'm walking through mud and feeling nauseous constantly. Urgh. It doesn't help that DH is travelling a lot these days, missing him.

Hope everyone is doing well this week and has a nice weekend planned x

Hi girls.
@iamloading congratulations on your new baby girl. Enjoy it and thanks for checking in.
@39Suzy scan was all good on Tuesday. I am almost 12 weeks now and have a dating scan on Tuesday. Congrats on your good scan, that's great.
@PartyintheKitchen feeling crap is good. Spotting and cramping are not so fun, but can be totally normal.

My mistake it was @testar0ssa that is in the 2ww. Keeping fingers crossed for you. How you doing this week x
Sorry to hear you are feeling rubbish 🤢 @partyinthekitchen and that hubs isnt around. Spotting can be very normal so hoping it is just bubs getting cosy. Thankfully the sickness hasnt been half as bad this time (last time i was yakking up daily ftom 5 weeks and by 8 weeks had a few days i couldnt even keep water down althougj had flu at the same time). But have felt so shattered this time around.... wading through mud is a good analogy! In pjs and ready for bed by 7pm currently!!! Definitely get the antenatal ball rolling so you can get the care you need.
Scan yesterday was a wiggly bean with flippers! Hoping the one on the 17th is better as felt a tad daft sending my parents a picture of what essentially is a uterus! 😂 they cooed nonetheless when i pointed out said flipper.
Hope it goes well @miami81 looking forward to seeing the little one xx

Hi lovely ladies, hoping you're all well and sending huge positive thoughts to all of those in the tww!

I'm 14+1 today and have a scan with my consultant at 11am.
Considering it's only a week since my dating scan I'm mega nervous again! Now I'm in the second trimester (which is when I lost Penny) I can feel myself getting a bit more anxious! However as if on queue I threw up my toast this morning so think bubs is letting me know they're still there!

I've booked my dating scan next Sunday, and cannot wait to find out what we're having. I feel like maybe it will all feel a bit more real! X

Hi @mrslcw how nice to hear from you 😊
Hope today's scan went well and you are being well looked after. I am sure Penny is watching out for you too.
Keep us posted on gender, so exciting that so many rainbows are on way in this thread. I read it from the start last night and got quite emotional,and excited, at the prospect of some more BFPs for those ladies still waiting and babies arriving in a few more months. X

Hi

Hope it’s ok to join in. I'm new to all this but thought it was about time to look for some support!

I’m 37 and TTC again after by DD was stillborn at 32 weeks in April. We have another DD who is 7.

It’s early days but me and DH were both surprised to find that we were equally keen to try again. First month was a total wash out as I completely screwed up timing! So I guess we’ve been properly trying for 3 and no luck yet. In fact I’d got my hopes up as I was a couple of days late but AF arrived today. I’m gutted.

I know it’s early on but all this tracking and trying is totally new to us both... we were very very lucky that both times before it just “happened”

So... that’s me!

Hi @littleluce37 welcome! You have definitely come to the right place, these ladies are awesome 😊

I am so sorry for your loss it is such a tough journey you are on. But we have had seven (i think?) BFP since the thread started so hope it will bring good fortune for you too.

@toots123 has set up a FB group for those on Facebook so if you are on there just drop her a PM to join. Some are TTC and a few with rainbows on the way.

Sorry AF has arrived. I took about two months to get back to normal but then conceived the following cycle so fingers crossed it happens soon x

Thank you @39Suzy

It's just such a minefield. Naively I probably expected it to happen quickly plus I'm impatient so I've convinced myself there's something wrong (the consultant who looked after us when we lost Ellie saw no reason why not and was so supportive of us trying again).

Plus the timing / fertile window... when to do it, how many time? AAAARGH!

I'll have a look for the group and look forward to hearing about your stories xxx

@littleluce are your cycles regular? For a 28 day cycle, you generally ovulate on day 14 so would need to DTD days 11 to 15 (sperm lives for up to 5 days and eggs 12 to 24 i think). However if your cycles are a bit irregular, longer or shorter than 28 days, or you are still a bit all over the place then learning to spot ovulation symptoms or using OPKs maybe the one for you. Either way every 2 to 3 days throughout the cycle is generally going to do the job 😊
That is good your consultant is encouraging too.

Pretty regular... generally around 28 days. I've been using the Flo app and trying OPKs too. This month I ovulated later about day 19 but the two cycles before that was day 16. I'm getting the positives with the OPKs so that's a good sign... just not hit the mark yet so to speak.

Good news then @littleluce37 you will get there in the end x

Thanks @39Suzy I'm just paranoid cos I'm 37! Mind you this time last year I got pregnant with Ellie with no planning whatsoever so I guess I have to see that as a good sign.

What's difficult is that I kind of feel responsible for all the timing/when to do it etc. When it took longer to get a positive ovulation test than predicted last month my DH was like "well why did you start so early" 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

He definitely wants to but seems to think that once will do the job... then says he feels pressure when it gets to the ovulation day... thinking about just trying every other day after AF and in fertile week this time??

I am 40 this year and several of the ladies i have chatted to on here are 35+ so don't worry too much about your age! I definitely didn't tell hubs when i was ovulating! Personal choice but i didn't think the added pressure would help with his 'performance' and definitely made it more enjoyable.

I know it's just so easy to panic about what could be perceived as a negative! I'm overweight too but since we lost Ellie I've lost over 2st and am keeping going plus I was heavier when I fell pregnant last year. So a healthier weight is obviously for the better but it's not so bad it's stopping me either xxx

Hey @LittleLuce37 I'm so sorry for your loss. I am also 37. We lost Eilidh last year also. I was getting really panicked about my age and general health as I am also overweight. I lost loads of weight after Eilidh died as I just couldn't be bothered with food. It felt really weird when people were being really positive about my weight loss cos I just wanted to scream in their faces that my baby had died, did they really think I gave a shit about food or weight. But the weight loss has helped me feel more positive about the start of this pregnancy as I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am in a much healthier place.
I ended up taking my bbt temperature to make sure that I was ovulating. Again it was making my anxiety peak a bit so I felt it was worth the effort to make sure it was definitely happening. I couldn't get on with opk's at all. I had to tell DH when I was ovulating cos he is away a lot with work and needed him to be here!!!

@Miami81 yup! I forced myself back to slimming world otherwise I'd have laid in bed eating crap or nothing... just tried to do positive things because I had to keep myself busy. Was great at the time but once DH went back to work and DD to school all of a sudden I had too much time to myself to think. Due back at work in a couple of weeks.

Been TTC for 3 cycles now and I know I'm being impatient but every AF or BFN kills me!!

Has anyone had much heavier periods after their stillbirth?

I THINK mine are, and I'm sure I'm getting more clotting, just not sure if it's

A) maybe a bit psychological as I notice everything so much more because of TTC and hating every time AF appears

B) because I'm using pads and used to use tampons so I can see what's going on better (if that makes sense?!)

C) my mind is just convinced something is wrong when there isn't

Just checking in... have in laws staying so not much time for myself.

"And are you wanting to try again..?"

Urgh, leave me alone.

Hope everyone's ok x

@LittleLuce37 I think less the first few times once they eventually started again, but now back to normal.

If you're worried or want to talk about it, speak to dr or consultant- mine have been great answering questions and having a proper answer has helped put my mind at ease

@littleluce37 my first arrived 5 weeks after loss and was very heavy and 7 days long (normal without coil was 4 to 5 days first day or two heavier than last few days tailing off quickly). Next cycle was three weeks later and similar (i dont think i ovulated), next one was 28 days ish (normal cycle length) and about back to normal in terms of length but definitely slightly heavier. I think i ovulated as had sore boobs, cramps and nausea. Conceived the following cycle. Definitely varies from lady to lady but looking back on here we had lots of heavier than usual comments.

I also preferred to use pads so i could see what was going on and with the first few cycles, had a few moments where is came quite heavy in waves.

@tessa0ssa great to hear from you. Hope you are doing ok and managing to field that question... i have ended up giving the long-winded 'Well, that is a difficult question as my body has been through so much and mentally and emotionally it is also a big ask which there isnt a right or wrong answer for. Anyway, what will be will be and nothing in this life is guaranteed is it?'
Then started yakking on about so and so who thought they couldnt have babies or whatever and change the subject. I have used it about three times now and has definitely done the trick in terms of deflecting from having to answer. Quite frankly it is none of their business.... but i guess you can't say that to them!!! I always feel like when someone asks personal questions i have to answer and have realised, i don't.

@39Suzy sounds like mine

@Testar0ssa I'm not worried as such but am paranoid so I'm waiting on s call back from the dr just now

About to ring line manager about phased return to work from next week

Hope going back to work goes well @littleluce37 i found it tough, really tough but it got better quite quickly. I had a meeting with the head of HR today to give some feedback on what they did and didnt do. Definitely felt better after!

👋🏻 hi everyone, please can I join?

I lost my little boy at 41 weeks earlier this year. I'm desperate to be pregnant again as I can imagine lots of you can relate to. 2 months of trying and we're out of the game again this month as of this morning.
I've been pregnant twice and have an older daughter. I know so many people go on to have their rainbow babies but i can't help but feel I'm guaranteed more bad luck and will never get to bring a baby home again.

I relate to so much you've all posted I wanted to join in and be another member of the worst club in the world.

Hi @askingalways welcome to the worst club! I am sorry for your loss and hope your rainbow arrives soon x

@askingalways hi, we lost our girl at 32 weeks in April and have been trying since my periods came back in June. And I can totally relate to the desperation and paranoia hats something is wrong. I only joined the other day but I've already found this group incredibly helpful xxx