TTC after Pregnancy Loss Thread 20 - Fx for 2019 babies

[dulwichdays]

Another thread for us all - I'm hoping I've got everyone's details in the list below, I copied it from our previous thread.

PassTheAfterEights 33 C6 TTC#1
BadBadBeans 33 C1 TTC#2 (1 cycle ttc pre MC)
hayleyfx 24 C4 TTC#1
Claire138 28 C4 TTC#1
Lovewinemorethanhusband 37 C3 TTC#3
Blondcat 36 C8 TTC#1
Sweetpea0318 38 C1 TTC#2 (7 months TTC pre MC)
Dulwichdays 34 C4 TTC#1 (4 cycles TTC pre MC)
Weasledee C3 TTC#3
BabynameEdie 30 C2 TTC#1
Yellowdaffodils86 31 C2 TTC#1 (1 cycle pre mc)
Boboelephant 35 C4 TTC#2 (9 cycles TTC pre MMC after EP)
Wellthisisunexpected 34 TTC#2 awaiting AF
Sloeberrygin 36 C1 TTC#2
Hidcat 35 C1 TTC#2 (3 Cycles TTC pre MC)
DaisyMay25 27 C8 TTC#1
Rdm10 34 C2 TTC#2
Zarala 36 (to be) TTC#2
SerenaOverjoyed 28 C1 TTC#1 (ttc 1 cycle pre mc)
KnitKitty 30 C1 TTC#1

@sweetpea0318 my GP is ace. Because I have a pretty bad phobia of medical stuff I've been talking to her about having kids on and off for about a year and a half.

She's been very supportive, when I found out I was pregnant she got me an early appt with the community midwife to help with my phobia. When the likely MMC was discovered (private scan -they referred me to EPAU direct) she was sent a letter and rang me straight away. I was in pieces over the phone, desperately trying to understand why it was happening and panicking about my age. That's when she said she'd give me the higher dose folic acid-she said it won't harm me so might as well.

She also fought my corner with the hospital when the first round of med mgmt didn't work and I ended up in a very dark place mentally.

I've got another appt booked in a couple of weeks so will be asking about thyroid function and baby aspirin.

I do think age plays a part in what they will or won't do-and if you have a polycycstic ovary idve thought that would also make them more likely to do something.

Ultimately though I guess it's down to what your GP is like. I'd book an appt-mental health is just as important as physical so idve thought if it's concerning you they should at least consider your request? X

Thanks @laney that's really helpful to know. The reason I've been holding off is that I had actually started the process of investigating secondary infertility as it wasn't happening for me. The day before I went to get my scan and blood results is when I found out I was preg so my appt turned into a booking-in one. But I did ask her what they would have done had I not been preg and she said they wouldn't do much as we hadn't been trying a year yet despite my age. After hearing your experience I think it's worth making an appt to see what see what she says now that the mc has happened. I'm also keen to know if I should be taking anything or doing anything differently now I know about my ovary - I know pcos can affect mc chances but not sure what having half pcos means! In the meantime I have been self medicating and taking additional supplements like selenium and zinc based on things I've found online... I just want to feel like I'm doing something!!

@maxiflump1sorry af got you but at least you can move out of limbo now.
@PumpkinPatch000 welcome back.
@Laney79 I'm so glad you're ok. I've been a bit worried about you. So sorry it dragged on so long and you had to get the MM again but glad it's almost over now.
@sweetpea0318 I'd definitely go to your GP. Once you're over 35 they should investigate after 6 months not a year. If they try to tell you differently direct them to the NHS website. Also with the polycystic ovary they should be willing to help.

I'm driving myself mental with opks and obsessing over every single ache ans pain, I just don't know if it's healthy for me before my MMC we had the idea of if it happens it happens and in the 3 years since having my DD it never entered my head worrying about it all but since then I've become obsessed with getting pregnant again, anyone else like it ?

So I've had 4 days of flashing smiles and BD for 3 of them and today I have a static smile so will be BD when hubby is home. Does that mean we stop after tonight? (I could do with a rest!!)

Thanks @bohoelephant how are you?

@curlypop you could ovulate tomorrow too as it’s up to 36 hours after the LH surge so still in with a chance DTD tomorrow too.

@lovewinemorethanhusband I know exactly what you mean. This cycle is the first one after MC and although babies and what my body is doing is constantly on my mind for some reason this time I’m easily fighting the urge to test. Not sure why. Maybe part of me has given up trying to figure out what is happening particularly as my cycles are all over the place. Cycle day 36 today!

Hello ladies. So fw starts tomorrow I'm hoping it happens for us. Sending baby dust and hugs to you all

Thanks @boboelephant - I'm going to do it! @lovewinemorethanhusband - I'm exactly the same.. it's all I think about from the moment I wake up (& in my dreams too). The frustration I feel at not being able to do anything about it all feels like it's consuming me sometimes. I also wasn't worried before as had it all planned out in my head how things would go after a very easy first pregnancy for dd - so naive!!! At least I won't ever take things for granted now.

Thanks @PumpkinPatch000 today and tomorrow ago go then! Least I know I've ovulated fairly quickly after my mc. X

Thanks @Boboelephant - it's been really hard mentally. Got a counselling session booked for Thursday.

Just hoping for the bleeding to stop and a negative test. Then I can get on with ttc!

I may need advice on opks etc...we had the attitude what will be will be before...but now I'm just desperate to be preggers again. X

Laney79 I'm glad things have finally got going and you can start to look forwards again. You've been through so much! Well done for staying strong.

PumpkinPatch000 I understand you more easily fighting the urge to test. I'm not there yet, but I think if I get to the point of wondering if I'm pregnant again I might bury my head in the sand for a bit. I'd rather not know too early on. However, it is on my mind all the time and yes, hard not to obsess Lovewinemorethanhusband .

The period pains I had yesterday have gone away again but I'm feeling really, really fatigued so I'm pretty sure AF is going to rear her ugly head any day/minute now. Feeling really drained and like my body doesn't have a clue what it's doing anymore.

@Lovewinemorethanhusband I do! I was so relaxed getting pregnant with DS and my first loss. Then as time has gone on I think about it all the bloody time. Although I'm a bit obsessive I think for me the opks are good as at least I know where I'm at. If I didn't I'd still worry, try and guess and probably stress more!
@Curlypop yep I'd dtd tomorrow too! Ovulation will probably be tomorrow for you.
@PumpkinPatch000 I'm ok thanks. Still here although hoping I catch a break soon. Fw is approaching so fx!
@Laney79 it's a good idea! Mental health is so important and this is a significant trauma we have experienced. I found the therapy I had extremely helpful and it pulled me out of the dark place I was in. You will still grieve your loss but it's important to have a space to talk.

Glad it's not just me that's feeling like it. @laney glad things fall have moved forward for you xx

@Lovewinemorethanhusband it's all I'm thinking about right now. So much so that instead of worrying about the minor car bump my hubbo had this am I'm worried worried wether he'll fancy a shag later!
80% I'm in my Fw!

@Lovewinemorethanhusband 🙋🏽‍♀️me too!
Impatiently waiting for a positive opk.

I have ewcm today from watery cm yesterday, but neg opk yesterday evening and this evening. Not sure whats going on, hoping positive is around the corner.

@Lovewinemorethanhusband @YellowDaffodils86 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️ me too. Total opk obsessive at the moment but like @Boboelephant said, I feel it's better than wondering when I'll ovulate and then worrying about having missed it etc.

How's everyone doing? Going to try and catch up on the posts but been a bit swamped (not helped by the 🤸‍♀️⛹️‍♀️🏋️‍♀️🏄‍♀️marathon I'm currently on with DH and it's only day 3 🤪😂)
But just checking in to say hi xx

@L1zz13 😂 good to hear I'm not the only one..just slightly forced dh into it before allowing us to have dinner!
Hope your hubby is ok though?

@L1zz13 TTC priorities hey!? 🤦‍♀️🤣 Hope DH is ok.
@YellowDaffodils86 looks like we're twins again. I also had watery cm last few days and loads of EWCM today but negative opks. Told DH it's go time anyway!
@BabynameEdie I'm impatiently waiting for him to walk in the door! Am knackered and would like to sleep but going for day 4. Looks like we might be doing a marathon too. I told him about your possible 27 days and he seems to think it was a challenge. Help!! 🤦‍♀️🤣

@Lovewinemorethanhusband 100% feel the same way. When I first started TTC last August I wasn’t too bothered about how long it took, no OPK’s, no obsessing, just BD’ed as usual and not on a schedule. Now after the mc, I’m obsessed with everything TTC!! It was so much easier last year when I wasn’t desperate to be pregnant like I am now 😩
@L1zz13 haha oh I hope he’s alright but definitely gave me a laugh!! I asked my DP if his crohn’s starts acting up again this month during FW then can he just keep a bucket beside him and we’ll dtd anyway I’ll just look away if he’s being sick 🤣 well he agreed but I really hope it doesn’t come to that... 🤢🤣

@BabynameEdie i agree, better to know where you are at.

@Boboelephant yes it seems we are. Im hoping a positive opk will show soon.
At least we will have each other to keep sane during a tww, if we stay twins.

Poor dh has had a marathon work day 6am-10pm and i just broke the news that bd must happen. Definitely no fuss for ttc purposes only tonight I think 😂 who said romance is dead!

@Lovemysparkle wow that is very quick indeed!!! And that's great news that all your tests came back normal! My last MMC was March 2nd and it took about a month and a half to get referred to the RMC and my first appointment isn't until mid June. I am so impatient!
Glad to hear you hen do was fun! At least you can drink and enjoy these things!!!! (Silver linings!)

@weasledee what a lovely doctor you have!!! Can I ask what dosage of folic acid he gave you?

I am just waiting for AF to show- hoping it soon and that my cycles are back to normal. DH can not wait until we're marathoning it! His idea of heaven! I told him we have to wait a couple more cycles and then we're on it. Just want them to be Normal again good luck @Boboelephant @BabynameEdie @L1zz13 @Curlypop and everyone else in FW! Hope this is your month!!! Baby sparkle dust to you all! 👶🏻✨

@zarala thanks for the baby dust 🎉 and I think it sounds positive to wait until you feel it's all back to normal, so important we listen to our bodies and go with our instincts on these things. My hub thought marathon sounded great toobut now he's realising how serious I am about it all! 😂 even after a v low day at work & a long commute home!

@Boboelephant you can do it! 💪👊 but also go easy on yourself..I don't have a child to look after so have more time on my hands I'd imagine! But yay to the marathon! @Cakelaur would be proud! 🤸‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

@YellowDaffodils86 don't worry, we had a similar evening! All for a good cause! 🙈

I'm being so impatient with opks, only on cd10 (but in the past I've ovulated on cd12), doing three a day and there's nothing much at all, the odd faint line but nothing strong. Even though I'm doing it at all times of the day I'm so scared I'll miss it and feel all in limbo again like last month. No evening primrose oil for me this month though which I hope means I'm back to normal 🤞

Let's hope dinner at our fav restaurant and half a bottle of red settles his nerves! He's fine btw. No injuries just the mental what ifs! Fx my magic has worked!

@L1zz13 good to hear he is OK. Do u mind if I ask what fx is I'm still learning the lingo here