TTC after Pregnancy Loss Thread 20 - Fx for 2019 babies

[dulwichdays]

Another thread for us all - I'm hoping I've got everyone's details in the list below, I copied it from our previous thread.

PassTheAfterEights 33 C6 TTC#1
BadBadBeans 33 C1 TTC#2 (1 cycle ttc pre MC)
hayleyfx 24 C4 TTC#1
Claire138 28 C4 TTC#1
Lovewinemorethanhusband 37 C3 TTC#3
Blondcat 36 C8 TTC#1
Sweetpea0318 38 C1 TTC#2 (7 months TTC pre MC)
Dulwichdays 34 C4 TTC#1 (4 cycles TTC pre MC)
Weasledee C3 TTC#3
BabynameEdie 30 C2 TTC#1
Yellowdaffodils86 31 C2 TTC#1 (1 cycle pre mc)
Boboelephant 35 C4 TTC#2 (9 cycles TTC pre MMC after EP)
Wellthisisunexpected 34 TTC#2 awaiting AF
Sloeberrygin 36 C1 TTC#2
Hidcat 35 C1 TTC#2 (3 Cycles TTC pre MC)
DaisyMay25 27 C8 TTC#1
Rdm10 34 C2 TTC#2
Zarala 36 (to be) TTC#2
SerenaOverjoyed 28 C1 TTC#1 (ttc 1 cycle pre mc)
KnitKitty 30 C1 TTC#1

Please can I join you ladies?
I found out that my baby had died at a scan on 10th May, my birthday, at about nine weeks. Cue two lots of medical management.... almost rushed in for an emergency ERPC as I had Mum's inquest to 200 miles away less than a week later.
The baby was due on 15th December, the first anniversary of my mum's suicide, so although not planned we were devastated as it seemed like my ray of light. I knew things weren't well as I'd had heavy bleeding beginning the day before my Gran's funeral / the burial of my Mum's ashes, also 200 miles away (you really couldn't make it up), and having had hypermesis with previous pregnancies my lack of symptoms were a concern. Despite this I saw the heartbeat twice and all seemed well.
Anyway it's been an appalling period in my life (my youngest almost died from sepsis a year and a bit ago, I was made redundant, got another job a long commute away which is very stresseful / difficult boss). But I think I'm ready to try again. Bleeding has pretty much stopped and have a very faint positive pregnancy test now; we're not intending to wait for AF as I'm not getting any younger.....
You all seem like a very supportive bunch; I think I might need a bit of a hand hold when my first AF arrives, but hopefully I can offer some support to others too....

@Pampl3m0usse I recognise your name from the miscarriage board. Really sorry to hear about all you have gone through, you've had a very tough couple of years. Definitely here to hold your hand! I'm expecting AF today which will be my first after the ERPC. Who knows, though, my body has been very weird. Take care xx

@Pampl3m0usse Im so sorry for everything, I can't even begin to imagine how hard the last year has been with so much going on. I can only hope that it's onwards and upwards from here. Definitely a spot in the middle of the penguin huddle for you.

@RedRobin7 hi! And welcome - so sorry to hear of your loss! I feel I could have written the first half of your post- MMC discovered at 12 weeks after seeing nice heartbeat and everyone telling me I being paranoid! But somehow we knew...it's really a punch in the gut isn't it? So awful and I'm sorry you had to go through it.

With regards to your partner's fertility, I also worried about my OH's fertility and we went ahead and did the sperm comet test- direct on their website - it was very simple but were in London so not sure how the logistics work else where...anyway as well as doing the usual sperm count and stuff they also check the genetic health of the semen- as this can often play a large role in MCs. Thankfully his results came back very positive - and We were sooo relieved! Because then it takes the pressure off of him- I can't really rely on him to take his supplements and whatever else!
IF you don't wanna fork out on the test I have read that the remedy for "weak" or "damaged" sperm is for them to take q10coenzyme (or whatever it's called) and try and consume a lot of antioxidants to help him create healthy semen. (Pomegranates, kale, etc)
Like us women and our eggs- it takes 3 months for the semen to mature - so ideally they say we should all start taking our supplements 3 months before starting to TTC- but I think anytime we start is a good one!

Anyway sorry for the long post but I personally find these kind of remedies help my anxiety - as I feel we're actually doing something positive to help the process.

Hope everyone has at least an OK day! Sometimes we just have to take it one day at a time...but the suns shining and I'm off to yoga!
Lots of penguin huddles to all who need it
And high fives to those girls about to get on the FW JKS ride! 😂

Hi ladies, sorry I've not been around for a while.

I've just been trying to catch up with everything. Commiserations to those who've had a visit from AF and/or had BFNs. Hugs for you. xxx

Welcome to the newbies. Sorry for your losses.

RedRobin Glad to see you're over here now. Best of luck with TTC.

Rant warning.

I'm not doing so great right now. Couldn't BD at all last week because we had visitors. They left on Saturday morning. We had a lovely day out with family and then in the evening OH fell asleep before I got in bed (during the time it took me to brush my teeth). We tried again yesterday, however he's all wound up about an interview he's having today and things just didn't happen. Feeling really, really frustrated and upset. Upset because I think we've missed the window this month and upset with OH because of not getting in the mood and upset with myself for feeling resentful towards him when it's not his fault that his body won't do what he wants. GARGH!

I had ovary pains yesterday and a lot of CM so I think it was ovulation day.

Just really struggling with everything at the moment. Still grieving, feeling the stress of TTC (and feeling the pressure to do it quickly because I have a history of endometriosis and only one ovary left so constantly have a lingering fear that I'll lose my other one in the same way before managing to get pregnant), and really not enjoying my job at the moment either mainly because I think I've just lost my joie de vivre. Just feeling like I want to run away somewhere alone and hide from the world for a while.

Rant over.

Hello to the new joiners and rant away those having bad days......

Well I have my first recurrent miscarriage clinic appointment, feel it was a waste of time! They did take blood but because my later miscarriages were not consecutive (losses at 7, 14 and 7 weeks, I had my 2nd DS in between) then she said I don't have any issues?! Advice I got: have sex - great advice, not!!! At 42 I was hoping for at least a scan to see if anything showed up? Feel deflated.

@weasledee I am so sorry that you had that experience at the rmc, & I think it is appalling that you have to have 3 back to back mc’s to have further investigation😡 I did have 3 mc’s back to back & I was investigated between August-November 17 (also had hystorocopy as they thought I had polyp in uterus) I had 2 lots of bloods done & a scan & also a consultation with the professor, every expert I’ve seen feels confident that I would be pregnant soon but I’m 7 months on & not even a whiff of a bfp!! I’ve have had 11 consecutive weeks of acupuncture & am also a quarter of way through another 7 week session, we have tried smep & also done opk’s (got a positive on cd11 & cd12 ) absolutely sorry tmi been at it like bunny rabbits you name it we’ve done it every other day, everyday, twice in 1 day etc etc!! I’ll be 40 in 6 months time so am feeling the pressure a bit🙈 The professor who performed hystoroscopy advises if I had another mc that me & dp should have genetic testing! Dp hasn’t been checked as I have had 3 spontaneous pregnancies they don’t seem to think there is any problems there but all 3 ended in mc, so we have mad the decision to try & chill out & have a fantastic wedding day on 16th June & if nothing has happened by July when we get back from minimoon then to seek medical advice for us both as it would have been a year since I was last pregnant. If we don’t have any joy then we are considering going down the private route, I really hope you have success soon @weasledee❤️

Thank you sparkle. I really did feel like i wasted my time! Oh well, fertile week next week when I'm on holiday with the family! Typical

@weasledee- I’m on cd9 so am gearing up for fw!! Am trying to be as seductive as possible but have got emails flying around for our wedding, favour boxes, dress fittings etc etc😂😂 if me & dp have been in your situation away/staying with family we always had a crafty quickie in the bathroom!! Put the shower on it covers noise🙈 oh what we do for fw & a bfp🙈🙈 I do really hope you get your bfp 😘

@weasledee so sorry that it felt like a waste of time!!! I have mine coming up soon but i had been forewarned that the NHS RMCs are really limited so I have decided to go private.
But the good news from your side is that you seem healthy! So that's really positive. Did they advise you to take aspirin?
Dr Shehata told me to start taking it every evening 75mg- with dinner. It apparently helps with conception and can help prevent MC. He advises alll of his clients (feels more like a business ordeal than a medical one- not sure if that's good or bad) to take it. So maybe try that.
He also told me he gives all his clients progesterone- but I don't know what his protocol for that is- I will find out in a couple of weeks and let you know!

@KnitKitty ahh I can totally understand your frustration!
But maybe you can try again tonight! Might not be too late!!! Sending hugs

@KnitKitty I think a lot of us can relate to your rant. I would try again tonight and tomorrow if possible. Is there a way you can book a holiday, or have something that you can look forward to that's just for you two? DH and I have done that and it's made me feel brighter.

I was expecting AF today and still nothing. I think I'm going to have to ignore all temperatures, CM and other symptoms for my own sanity. I don't think I can trust what my body has been doing since the ERPC and just hope AF turns up in the next few days.

@Boboelephant thanks, the next few days are going to drag! Luckily I don’t have any pregnancy tests in, I’ve got some coming in the mail on Thursday so absolutely no early testing for me 🙈 I’m sorry your due date is approaching also, it brings back all those initial feelings. Hugs!
@YellowDaffodils86 thank you, fingers crossed!! But I’m definitely going crazy already 🤣
@DBoo I see a really faint line!! 🤞 I so hope it turns into a nice dark line for you. Ahh fingers crossed!
@maverick79 I’m so sorry for your losses, we started TTC again immediately as I simply couldn’t wait. I was just desperate to be pregnant, it gave me some hope I guess. It really is personal, I think anytime is good if it makes you feel slightly better/happier, you’ll know when you feel ready. Hope you’re doing okay
@Lilimum4 I’m so sorry af arrived 😔 sending you lots of hugs x
@RedRobin7 I’m so sorry for your loss. I totally understand - managing to fall pregnant is the first hurdle and worries me so much. Then I’m convinced it will be another mc, so whether I’m TTC or pregnant I’m stressed. I’m sorry for your DH’s health problems, I hope he’s alright and I hope it’s not caused any other issues. Try to relax (that’s probably the worst advice I can give you) but staying as hopeful as possible will help. Sending you hugs 💕
Sorry @SerenaOverjoyed sending you hugs
@weasledee I’m sorry you didn’t have a good experience. You must be feeling so frustrated. It’s good that she wasn’t worried at all though, that’s one positive to take away from it. I agree - that advice is just the worst advice 🙄 Fingers crossed for FW, sending baby dust your way!!

Good luck @mrslcw! Sounds like you have a good shot (again, maybe not the best way of putting it!) covered! @bobotheelephant We have guests about to arrive 🙈 so not ideal but will give it a go.
@knitknitty it is so much pressure on you both and you are allowed to feel annoyed even though it isn’t his fault. Sending hugs.

weasledee what a waste of time! You'd think they'd realise that after 4 pregnancies you've sussed that you have to have sex to get pregnant. I've been nervy at the prospect of rmc being very scrutinising, looks like I needn't worry.

zarala baby asprin seems to be the main intervention. I'm tempted to just start it and not wait to be told.

Sorry mistymeow, cycle changes are really annoying and upsetting. Fx business resumes as usual soon

Hi all

Still waiting for bloody AF post mc #2!
Been really uncomfortable for days and have had two days of brown tinged Cm ( wiping and fishing to inspect it 🙈😷). Back feels like it's in full flow and tummy cramps from time to time too! Even started double dosing the paracetamol and ibuprofen. Would feel so much better if I had a full beast to show for the discomforts.
Really impatient and of course I'm hoping it's pg related but of course it's not! Even ordered same day delivery pg tests! Not to mention starring into Google land for Miracles for far to long this am!
I'm such a plonker. I bet tomorrow will be chain saw massacre day down in lady garden land!

Thank you all for your lovely comments.

@strawberrye I was trying to think of a nice way to remember the baby but my husband and I aren't on the same page. He sees what I lost as something that would become a baby. To me it already was a baby! So I've just got a nice personalised candle that I can light when I want.

@zarala I'm sorry you have had a similar experience. Thank you for sharing your story. It's very interesting to know what is possible. It's something to look into if we have another MC. My husband isn't the most helpful, he would be too embarrassed to be seen. We have both been on conception vitamins but he doesn't take his unless I physically give it to him - it drives me mad! I will see if what you mentioned is included in the multi vits or if he can take them on top.

@KnitKitty Sorry you're struggling and that you feel you have missed the window. My husband isn't always on board either when it's time to try. He's always tired or stressed and sometimes it just doesn't happen. I remember back in January I thought we'd missed the window and we ended up falling out but somehow I managed to get pregnant, so don't lose hope! He has agreed we need to try harder not to fall out over it in two weeks time but we will be on holiday so that could help us relax or we will be tired and grumpy!

L1zz13 Fingers crossed for you. If AF doesn't show tomorrow will you be testing? Is it possible for you to be pregnant again already?

Thank you ek78, Mistymeow & zarala. I just need to calm myself down!
I've just been reading about ovulation pains and apparently you can have the pain up to a few days before ovulation, so I'm holding on to that as some sliver of hope for now.
We managed to do the deed this afternoon so I'm feeling a little better. (His interview went well). And had my legs in the air for a good long while afterwards to get the spermies where they need to be.

I was expecting to ovulate on the 20th at the earliest as my cycles tend to be 30-34 days, although this being my first proper cycle since MC I was wondering if it would be a shorter cycle.

I had a similar freak out and was convinced I hadn't made a baby the month that I conceived, so who knows? It's not over til it's over. Just have to keep my fingers crossed. It only takes one.
OH has another interview on Wednesday so not even going to suggest trying tomorrow.

Continues repeating mantra "it'll happen when it happens..."

Lol @KnitKitty tests arrived half hour ago. Shortly after my last post.
And of course I've already poas!!

Detected post mc is all. Nothing darker than last week. Will double check in am to be certain even tho I know my dates are totally off.

Also @KnitKitty I've been there with my hubbo too. Was convinced we'd missed the window of opp back in Jan but I got a bfp on the 29th. Didn't make it tho.

After the mc in March I kept the chunkiest bits and buried them along my favourite foot path, where I walk the dog, under a tree. From time to time I add a rock or a flower to the sight. I find it very comforting.

Sorry I've not been very active. Finding everything a bit overwhelming. Heads in a funny place re TTC.

Sorry to hear of your shit time pamplemousse that really is an awful time.

Fingers crossed everyone.

I'm officially in the tww. Giving blood on Thursday (11dpo) so going to test that morning. Unlikely to see anything but want to be clear in my head before doing it.

Hey everyone i need to read through and catch up properly
@Boboelephant how are you doing?
@BabynameEdie is everything all ok.
@Boboelephant so iv had a strange few days. Not sure what's happening.
I havnt tested since sat which was 13dpo.
I have no AF yet, she was due yesterday but i take that with a pinch of salt.
Today i went to work for 8am but 8:20 i felt sick and i then was sick a couple of times. I felt really sick for a bout 30mims after that and then it lifted and i was fine. Iv felt small bit of ickyness once or twice since.
I feel it too early for any MS.
I got home today and had a little brown tinged cm. a few cramps, some strange. I feel AF is imminent. However all a bit wired.
I wish shed hurry up so i had get on to looking at next cycle.
Any thoughts on all this, welcome.

@RedRobin7 im so sorry you having to go through it all. It is hard, sometimes it seems the dp/dh dont really understand how we feel.
You have every right to feel how you do, i think alot of us feel the same. I hope you start to feel a lot better about things soon.

Good luck FW people. JKS😂🤸🏻‍♀️

@Mistymeow we may be twins with AF arriving any minute.
Im glad you have found support in is thread.

@Pampl3m0usse im so sorry for the awful time you have had. It really makes me sad the things some of you have had to face and get through. We are all happy to hand hold😊

@KnitKitty sorry you are having a tough time.
Its all so stressful sometimes, so wonder we need to rant it out.

@Wellthisunexpected fingers crossed for you.

@Mistymeow has it been 21 days since your erpc? How long are your cycles usually? It seems a bit short for af to be due today and do bear in mind that it can take 4-6 weeks for af to come after erpc. Perhaps you are actually ovulating now? You mentioned temps. What are they doing? How high are they? I hope you have caught straight away but don't want you to drive yourself crazy either waiting for af if it's still a while away.
@Pampl3m0usse what a tough time you have had. I'm so sorry.
@weasledee sorry it was so crap. How incredibly frustrating.
@hayleyfx thanks. Fx for Thursday!
@YellowDaffodils86 omg! Go and take a test!!

To everyone having a tough time I'm sending 🐧 hugs. To those expecting AF I hope she stays away. To those wanting bodies to regulate I hope they do soon. To those in fw hope JKS is going well. Here's hoping we all get our 🌈👶 soon!

Please can I join? 36, TTC #1. Awaiting AF after mc. C8 pre miscarriage (although cycle all over the place since 1st cycle trying so could be anywhere!) placemarking ready for C1 xx