40+ ttc: 2018 is full of bfp's!

[Orchid222]

Ladies, the old thread has finished, here's a new one.

Minime I totally understand what you mean about feeling excitement and fulfilment. I really want that again too and worry I may never have that. This feeling of running out of time is so scary.
Mimosa sorry you have been through a mmc too, it's so awful isn't it. It took me a while to realise the positive side, but it could have been so much worse, I have to remember that.

Cleo - so sorry to hear your news.

Orchid - good luck with your pregnancy and look forward to hearing your updates.

Onwards and upwards, for sure! Mimosa, I'm 40. I had dd at 37, got af back 18 months later, pregnant again third cycle (one of which was anovulatory), termination at five months (age 39). Went on clomid four months later due to total absence of af, pregnant again fifth cycle, a few days after my 40th birthday, mc at ten weeks. Like cleo I had an early scan, at seven weeks, with a strong heartbeat, but when I miscarried they said it looked like the baby was gone a couple of days after the scan. They said that's quite unusual.

Hey Ali, good to see you, been thinking of you. Hope you’re ok.

Shiny, what a difficult couple of years you’ve had. Am so sorry to read all that. Thanks for taking the time to write it all on here. Hope you’re feeling well right now. Have you had any tests etc done?

Sorry to hear of your news shiny and cleo.. congrats good luck orchid!!!

Cd30 here and no sign of AF but had weird cycle last month of just 14 days so who knows what's going on!!

Fingers crossed for everyone else!

Just catching up after a few weeks off board! Congratulations due to orchid. Best wishes to you .
Sorry to hear your news Cleo and sending you positive vibes
Shiny. .sorry to hear about your experiences too. That must have been so hard to go thru. xx
Finally, welcome to the new ladies. Hope you find this thread supportive.
My news is that i said i'd report back with my blood test results. I've been ttc on and off for about 2 years since having ds at 41. My results are FSH 7.8 and LH 4.4. And no sign of peri menopause even though i'm now 46!!
I recall reading that we mostly seem to be struck with af at the same time every cycle and lo and behold mine is the same time too! Last one was 8th and they're always 28 or 29 days. I told the gp i have cramps and a load of mucus for almost 2 weeks every cycle and she said "good!" but i said i'm terrified of mc at my age. I had 2 previously. I said why rock the boat as we have ds and are happy and can afford things ..but another dc could tip us over the edge...childcare costs alone and no family to help ..so i have been very reluctant to ttc. Yet still i am here on this thread so always the 'what if's'...
Interesting about the lamb theory. Also the news recently that carbs and white rice and pasta can bring menopause on earlier. I've cut down these and also trying to cut down on caffeine. I have an ecg next week as i had a "missed heart beat " during pregnancy with ds. I've been getting palpitations hence the ecg.
Hope everyone is ok today xx

Thank you Ali and Hmmm.

Ali-good to hear from you. Like Mimosa, I've been thinking of you and hoping you're ok.

Shiny- so sorry you had to go through all of that! I do hope your next pregnancy comes soon and you sail through it.

Cleo-I'd been avoiding pregnancy chats for fear of seeing a lot of mc's but after you mentioned the Nov one I did have a look...shocking how many women it happens to. My friend had a mmc last year at 34 so age is no guarantee of anything.

I'm still in the non believing world, especially due to lack of symptoms. With my ds, my boobs were already huge and sore at this point and I was having a container of spicy olives each day...we'll see. I also find myself in an awkward situation having quit my job hoping less stress would help me conceive. Of course, I wasn't planning on it happening that soon and the plan was always to get another, less stressful one. Tbh we'd struggle a bit if I stayed home now for 8 months and then a year after that...I'm still looking for a job of course and interviewing because there are no guarantees this pregnancy will keep going but if it does, it'll be very strange because by the time I find one it will almost be time to tell them about the pregnancy.

Chatbash-I wasn't great with dairy to tell the truth but had cheese and and when I remembered, I had warm (yes, warm!) milk. I even put hot water in my cereal to mix with fridge cold milk. It wasn't very nice!

Mimosa here's the diet I've been told to follow:

Breakfast:

1. 2 eggs
2. mixed beans (20+) and black rice
3. mixed veg/warm salad-10+ veg (had to contain broccoli, carrots, celery, spinach leaves, green pepper, cucumber, other leaves)
4. fruit juice (8+, important ones: raspberries, blueberries, banana, apple, orange, little piece of ginger, beetroot)
5. mixed seeds and nuts+ black roasted sesame seeds (10+ of nuts and seeds)

Lunch:
Fish 4 x a week, chicken, lamb and beef 1 x week
Repeat steps 2,3,4,5

Dinner:
oxtail soup and veg salad

What I did/didn't do:
Breakfast: I'd have a big amount of fruit juice in the morning to get both portions for the day and 2 eggs, skipped the rest although I'd munch on nuts and seeds as soon as I got into work. I never bought roasted sesame seeds.

Also, my mixed beans weren't 20+, waitrose has bags of 10 beans mixed together and that's what I used.

Lunch: I'd make sure I had a huge amount of salad because I never felt like having it in the evening. You can buy black beans online or I just bought them at waitrose or sainsburys.

Dinner: oxtail soup (waitrose sells oxtail but I'd usually buy it from the local butcher) would take a long time to make but I'd make a big batch, leave it in the fridge and it'd last a few days. My ds and I loved it! I'd also make a big batch of rice and beans so I wouldn't have to cook them every day.

Finally, this is what I was told not to eat/drink:

chocolate, spicy food/chilli, sugar, cakes, greasy stuff, cold food
alcohol, coffee, fizzy drinks, cold/chilled drinks

This of course was combined with fertility massage/moxibustion and acupuncture.

If you haven't seen it already, there's a nice link that I found on the weekend that has lots of info on diet, vitamin etc and has plenty of useful links:
www.fertilityafter40.com/

Haha orchid you just listed my normal daily diet (the what not to eat list!!)

Boosey your blood test results are considerably better than mine and I am 41. Better cut down on the pasta and carbs

Lol Cleo! If you followed that diet before getting pregnant though that would just show that diet doesn't matter much and I wasted many valuable hours cooking oxtail soup instead of sleeping :(

I actually don't think diet does matter too much.
I think sometimes its easy to focus on little things, when really it's luck of the draw.
And to be honest, sometimes we have to just eat shit, or we'd be miserable.

Ha ha Cleo - you just made me chuckle - I am sat here at Marylebone station waiting for my train home and indulging in my 2nd latte of the day!! 😝☕️
I have been mainlining chocolate every night for years and I drink only fizzy water!!
I agree that we can limit some stuff but not everything.. Have a good evening Ladies.. I’m on day 10 - no effin’ clue what that means but had some serious action last night and will try again this eve.. 😝 sex and chocolate here I come!!! XxxX

You go KeepingTheFaith9.. was a new moon last night.. fertile times
The keeping your body warm makes perfect sense but not sure I could stick to the diet.. have plenty of fruit and veg and cook from scratch mostly.. but yes agree Cleozeta
sometimes you have to eat what makes you happy..

Thanks everyone, I'm fine now, lucky to have a great support network, amazing dd and dh who's on board with it all - think he's actually more keen to have a second dc than me. No tests mimosa, other than to try to find out why af took so long to come back after coming off the pill right back at the start, and then after had dd. Best they can come up with is that I'm very hormone sensitive as bloods all fine. Works both ways though as the clomid did the job, and I try not to lose sight of the fact I've managed to get pg three times in three and a half years. Fingers crossed, maybe I just make better babies in summer...

Incidentally, I had a mmc at 20 (reckless youth!) so it's definitely not just the preserve of the >40s!

I did acupuncture when ttc on clomid but never did herbs/special diet, it sounds like quite a project! My acupuncturist just said to add organic dried figs and apricots to my reasonably healthy diet. Also occurred to me the other day that I have never got pg when not taking vit B6. I started it after first cycle temping/charting when I realised I had a short lp then conceived dd next month. Second time started on it as soon as af came back, bfp third cycle, and last time round didn't bother with it until after fourth cycle as clomid had sorted out lp but since nothing was happening thought I'd give it a try and bfp next cycle. Probably all coincidental but thought maybe worth sharing.

Massive congrats orchid, am I right in thinking you were pg at your leaving do?

What an odd combination of foods!!
Where did that diet come from Orchid? I actually like the sound of oxtail soup, I fancy that! I’m a big fan of offal and nose to tail (literally in this case!) eating. Can you post your recipe hun?
I eat a very healthy diet but I’m still not pregnant. I eat loads of fruit and veg and little in the way of rubbish and severely limit refined carbs. I don’t mind eating this way as it’s all I know not because it’s what I think I should do to fall pregnant. I honestly think deep down that our problem is lack of sex and a problem with timing. Ovulation varies so much these days it sometimes takes me by surprise and passes me by. We’re both pretty exhausted with both working full time and two kids that sex falls to the bottom of our list most days.

Another question Orchid - did you eat all those veggies together for every meal? Could you just make a soup from them?

Orchid - sorry, another question, when you say fertility massage was it abdominal massy? I’m thinking of giving it a go but my god it’s eye wateringly expensive....

Have felt a bit odd the last few weeks and dizzy and yesterday felt a bit sick! Think it's highly unlikely that I'm pg when we've dtd once since starting ttc and I don't even think I'm ovulating but I don't feel right. If AF doesn't make an appearance by the weekend I will test...but might be symptom spotting!

Good luck to everyone else

Cleo, lol.. i don't know how true the carb thing is ..it's more likely that you tend to follow the same pattern as your mum. Mine went thru menopause at around 50 so i should only have about 4 years left but if that thing is true where they say you subtract 10 years from the age of your mother's menopause and that's the last time you'll conceive, then by rights my ds was my last and only as i had him at 41!
Right now i have raging ov symptoms and we've dtd twice. .last nite i was so crampy and miserable i didn't want to do anything but if you have to dtd every other day we'll have to try later! I'm just so terrified!

I'm not sure that mum menopause thing can be too accurate.. my mother had my brother 32 years ago.. she was 39.. and as far as I know had not too much difficulty getting pregnant ( ewwwww doesn't NEED that thought in my head) she had a good few friends having babies at the same time "autumn crocus " she called it.. but she had an emergency hysterectomy afterward his delivery. She had 3 kids 2 difficult labours. She claims that she went on hrt when she was 48.. but I gave birth to my last baby when I was 40 ( had to word that carefully as have conceived 3 times since.. ) and my sister had mc at 40 and gave birth at 41.. so we have thrown her time line out a little. Her mother ( a very severe lady) only had her and never managed to conceive another but if they had had a boy we're going to call Roger.. 🤣🤣 (we had rather an amusing giggle around the dining table about my granny not fancying having a Roger.. me siblings and partners struggled for breath.. mother WAS NOT AMUSED.. but hey you have to get your giggles when you can at big family occasions.. ) I digress.. what happens to your eggs when pregnant? You don't keep producing them so they go into storage mode.. that must then knock time off your fertility age in a good way.. ?? I think times are changing. More ladies having babies in their 40's.. it just takes longer.. some really positive articles if you google fertility after 40 success.. couple of daily telegraph articles that are very uplifting and encouraging.. Christine Lampard is preggo, ( 39)Cherie Blair had her last at 45 a good few decades ago now.. it does happen.. it is really hard to stay positive I'm day 9, ovaries are niggling some cm and was stressing because we didn't manage to dtd last night.. but my non hormonal self says you've managed it 5 times in 9 days and chill you did it yesterday morning.. oh gets too stressed under pressure.. and that I'm sure doesn't help the swimmers.. trying desperately to stay calm about it all.. sending lots of positive thoughts out there.. chucking baby dust around like crazy and keep dtd.. 💕💕💕😘😘😘

Well I'm screwed then boosey, if that's the case, as my mum menopaused at 35!! I had my children at 33 & 35 so the 'deduct 10 years' thing didn't happen in my case. I think I am heading to menopause as my last fsh was 18.4, but then I got pregnant the next month after that blood test. I think I have a lot less time than most which is why I am panicking slightly that I will not get another chance after this mc, but I am lucky to have got as far as 41 without full on menopause hitting yet.

Chatbash that is an interesting point about what happens to the eggs. I was wondering if I have made it later than my mum because I breast fed for 2.5 years (over both children) and didn't get a period over that time, meaning my eggs would have been 'stored' for those years? My mum bottle fed us, so would have used up those eggs. Although she did have a third child just before her menopause at 35. I don't know, it baffles me. Also my sister is 43 and I don't think she is in menopause yet either, although she has no children and has been on birth control pill non stop for all her reproductive years. I wonder if that makes a difference?

Cleozeta not that I think any of us are in this stage it's peri menopause.. and that can last for 10 years.. we don't hit menopause till af has been gone for a year.. while af still calls we can still hope.

Yes I am officially in perimenopause, as confirmed by doctor. I just hope it does last 10 years!!!

Well after my visit to the doctor I have an appointment for the recurrent miscarriage clinic next week! Only went the docs 2 weeks ago so I thought that was pretty quick!