When the going gets tough, the tough get Yams

[SoozC]

Thread five!

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement.

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

@catherine have you looked at any clinics abroad for cheaper treatment? Although if you don’t have any DC’s between you then you should at least get one round on the NHS depending on your area and as long as you meet the criteria health wise etc. But if you’re self funding it might be cheaper abroad or even further out the city if you are in the London area. We are up North and treatment is cheaper here than down south.

@mynameisjune we only found out this afternoon. I should get two IVF rounds but I don't know about icis. I should get refered by gyn next month to fertility services. It was a private clinic I went to today for a fertility checkup and that's why the antibodies were tested. The NHS only does this when you get to the fertility clinic. His sperm count is 6 times what is needed and mobility is double this wasn't picked up. Could have been any trauma or infection pre puberty.

@mynameisjune we would meet the criteria for everything

'Papa Don't Preach' on the radio. sigh

ICSI is only the way the egg is fertilised, the rest of the process is the same as a normal IVF cycle and as far as I’ve read this is available on the NHS.

@catherine1988 Only just Home and caught up. How are you feeling about it? Is your DH ok?

I've fully started AF now. Was stupidly symptom spotting the last three days but my hopeful IB has gone full force (although still pretty pathetic by AF standards). Have had to work very hard not to break down in tears at work most of the day. Crushed and angry.

Agh! Xposted - hadn't fully loaded and I thought the thread had been quiet since this afternoon -soz

I feel OK about it, I know it isn't great. I knew something was wrong and I always said it. Even before we started trying I wasn't sure about it working, I just thought it was me. As we have eggs and sperm there is a good chance that fertility treatment will work. So looking at the bright side the chances of us have our biological children with some help is good. So it could be worse

Reflecting your words precisely Sooz so fucking fed up with myself

That sounds like a sensible and rational way to look at it - doubt I'd be so good 😜

@mynameisjune that's good to know, I hadn't really looked at the IVF as I thought we weren't there yet. I feel i am about to become an expert. My husband's home and other than a brief conversation about divorce and me finding another man. Ive explained the IVF was cheaper than a divorce and i'd rather pay for the IVF as the dating pool looks a bit sparse. We've decided to stay married .

@catherine your poor DH, I’m glad you’ve had a chat. He must have been so miserable at work all day thinking about it.

Going to start temping from tomorrow - any recommendations for apps? X

Oh @catherine1988 that's quite a shock I hope you and DH are okay. Really good way of looking at IVF though and at least you should get some help on the nhs. Do you mind if I ask how the SA was different, my DH is booked in next week and I want to check the test covers antibodies now....

Wonky I've been using Kindara. Used Flow for a while but gave up on it after it gave me about 12 fertile days per cycle. Have you got an iPhone? You can actually enter BBT on there under the 'Health' app. There's a section for 'reproductive health'.

This is my first month temping. Did it half heartedly last summer for a bit but never stuck to a full cycle. It's quite interesting actually. I had a particularly low temperature this morning - below 36. I'm not sure whether it signifies much!

Thanks, I honestly wanted to do it on paper old school style but wondered if an app would be better.

Catherine I'm glad you've decided not to trade him in. I've said similar stupid things recently to my dp, maybe he should fine a younger less defective model before tying the knot. Good job he ignores me.

I really think this entire month should just fuck off so we can all get into Spring, lighter evenings and a new month with better head space. Ttc has made me wish an entire year away

I'm sat here at my evening class and feeling like a right bitch for basically ignoring my new friend who is pregnant and just behind where I would have been. She had her 20-week scan this week and I heard the others congratulating her but I didn't hear what it was. I feel so horrible I can't be happy for her right now, all I can think is that she mc'd but was preggers again 2 months later and she's 6 years younger than me and I was so nearly in her position. I feel so terrible. I want to leave, but I also want to make it right with her before I go. Give me Yammers' strength, guys, to go to her and smile and congratulate her on whatever sex she's having and look at her scan.

You can do it Sooz! (Also v.impressed at you doing an evening class - what is it?) You'll feel much better once you've done it, I promise x

Sooz we're all right here behind you. Do it quick and then stick it somewhere out of sight.

@soozc deep breath and smile and oh ah at the sonogram, congratulate and think "this does not take away from the day where it is my baby". They all look the same anyway.

@limplettuce in sickness and in health is what my husband kept saying when I was convinced it was me

@highwater the NHS tested for count, mobility or morphology. Which all came back with good results for my husband. This test was with the Nuffield as part of a fertility assessment and it is the igg and IGA which are the antibodies on the sperm. I paid £300 for the testing for both of us as I was sure there was something wrong with me and I was running out of eggs. They test the amh which gives you the amount of eggs left and do an ultrasound. I think they do all these when you get to fertility services but as I am in my 20s everyone tells you " it will work just give it time" and tell you to keep trying. I wasn't happy to do that as I was sure something was up.

Sorry to hear your news @catherine1988 and sending love to your hubby too he must feel pretty crappy right now 😢

Sending hugs @SoozC and hugs to help you put on a brave face and approach the lady at your class xx

@Bubblegum89 baby bombs are the worst especially when it's unplanned, been together a few weeks shitty ones like that! 

@WonkyDonk87 I'm starting temping this cycle too - use Flo and Glow currently to track cycle so will be adding temps in to both apps but have also downloaded Fertility Friend purely for temping

Just took a test at 10dpo because I've got a big family event this weekend and it's a bfn.

13 months and still nothing. Feel like crying. Now I have a weekend of "when are you going to start trying? Don't leave it too late!" Etc.....

Urgh @FairyAnn I feel your pain! 'You two better not leave it too long!', I'm so close to screaming at people who do that now! Sometimes I think it would be easier if we just told everyone we're ttc (but my SIL knows and constantly asks 'any luck yet?' instead). X

"It'll be you next!" - fuck offfffff!!!!!!!!