When the going gets tough, the tough get Yams

[SoozC]

Thread five!

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement.

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

I got my referral appointment letter this week but now have a letter saying that it's been cancelled and not being rebooked. I rang the NHS booking system and they said that the hospital won't see me as they don't have proof of my address. WTF?

Oh how frustrating @hope! 😡

Whoops posted too soon. Bloody phone.
@hope how did you get a letter if they don’t have your address?!

Hey @limp? 👋 sounds really tough atm, 3 is just totally unfair. maybe go hide in a loo for a good cry? 💐

@LimpLettice Sorry to hear you're feeling so down. How far are you from your wedding now?
@Hopeislost I agree with @LexieJean .... how did you get your letter? Carrier pigeon? 😏

Stupid wedding. About 6/7 weeks to go. And I don't mean it, it's just hard to care much about anything at the mo.

Profit of your address when you clearly opened the post there is a bit daft Hope. I hope they sort it.

The only thing that I can think of is that they need proof of address for eligibility from my CCG. It's very strange though, they clearly have my address!

@LimpLettice Sorry to hear about the baby bombs

What a palarva Hope! Why does red tape always make such a mess?

Bubble - thank you. That’s helpful. I’ve had everything other than HyCoSY/ SIS. I shall be keeping everything crossed that the HyCoSY weaves is magic on you and that you get your BFP very very soon.

Hugs to everyone struggling on this thread. There really are no words to express how difficult ttc can be.

Here’s hoping that we’ve all made our way onto the AN boards before the year is out. Xxx

Limp, sorry to hear about the baby bombs. Bit off of people to RSVP but add in news of their own. Honestly, unless you've been through this you just don't think how your actions can affect others.

Hope, how bizarre! Is it easily rectified?

I am sat on the sofa convincing myself that my light cramps are abdominal pressure and not wind. I'm imagining I have nausea too. I'm managing not to track but it can't stop me feeling things and wondering. I am really setting myself up for a fall. I can't believe fate would give me another bfp.

Urgh. I went for a smear his evening. I hate them. She did let me use my fertile check gel though lol. She was an older nurse and when I showed it to her she was like "Oh well gosh, I didn't even know stuff like this existed" She said everything down there looked good, which is good. Let's hope nothing comes back, that'd be a real shitter to add to the shit pile!

@Si1ver. Thanks for the pm :-) That all looks really good. You will have to let me know how you get on.

Fertile check gel??? Give us a link Looking 😁

I'm symptom spotting. Even though I know I shouldn't. I know it's just progesterone. I know I have another four days until AF. Argh!!!!!! What a knob. 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

cariad you’re welcome. I’m really not holding out much hope for that but thank you :)

limp I’m so sorry about the baby bombs, they always seem to come at the worst possible time :(

I had a really realistic dream last night. I dreamt that we decided to stop ttc and instead, decided to adopt. We adopted a little girl around the same age as my daughter and they were like best friends. I genuinely woke up thinking maybe that’s the thing I should be doing. Obviously I want a baby with my partner but it seems unlikely it will happen and although I could potentially afford shoebox IVF in London, it’d be better if I didn’t have to do IVF at all. Primarily what I want is a sibling for my daughter. She is almost 10 and a baby to her is pretty boring. A child that can walk, talk and play with her properly would be better for her. Whenever we go out on days out or holidays etc she has to play by herself and I feel bad for her. Maybe this is the solution? Avoid the constant heartache of ttc, give my daughter a sibling she can connect better with and give a child a home too.

I know adopted kids tend to have “issues” especially the older they are. But I just don’t know if I can keep doing this whole “will this be the month?” to just be disappointed every time. It’s a long process (my auntie and uncle adopted two children and it took about a year from applying to meeting the kids) but no longer than this stupid ttc nightmare could take. Am I being stupid? I’ve just lost all hope of conceiving tbh.

@WonkyDonk87. It's called Fertile Check Fertility Gel and you buy it from Boots. :-) I used it when I got my bfp last summer. It's quite nice to use and not sticky. It is watery though lol so if you get some be aware

@Bubblegum89. You need to do what is best for you and your family. If you're talking about the ABC IVF, I have looked at that too. It seems quite good. I think we will be going down the IVF route if we can't conceive on our own. We might go abroad though.
If adoption is where you both feel you should go then that's what you should do :-) Maybe you could ask your DD what she thinks about it? Coming from personal experience (My parents adopted my sister) it can be very hard work x

My thoughts have wondered towards adoption too @bubble We can only afford 1 go at ivf- and it’s the shoebox version you mention at abc 😬 and then I think it’s natural (for me anyhow) to think about helping a child who already exists, who needs a home and loving family. But I don’t know anyone who’s done it and though I can imagine how hard it must be I have no real idea of how hard. If you see what I mean. I don’t know if it’s right for me and OH. He thinks it’s too soon to be looking at other options but I just can’t keep TTC for another year or more. I will actually go insane.

@LexieJean. It's easier for our dh's/dp's, their only real part is to dtd! I don't say that in a critical way, It's just a fact. They don't spend two weeks a month symptom spotting and waiting for flo and they don't have the gut wrenching experience of flo showing up either. They never have to poas only to be heartbroken by bfn after bfn after bfn. My DH has said he will think about IVF but he hasn't said how long he wants us to try for before we take a different direction.

@bubble we’ve also looked at adoption. Like you my main reason for baby no 2 is a sibling for DD. Not that we wouldn’t love a baby. I think this is why I’m so hung up on age gaps, I want them to be able to play together. And a big gap makes that unlikely. And even though they may get on when older they aren’t likely to be close when younger due to different interests.

Adoption does scare me slightly in that a lot of children have behavioural issues, or learning difficulties. Which I think could be unfair on DD. We have looked at adopting a baby girl from China. Mainly because girls in poor areas in orphanages still have a really tough life over there.

Although there is no guarantee that a biological baby wouldn’t have LD or behavioural issues anyway. My youngest sibling has autism and I’ve known since we found out that when Mum has passed away (his Dad died a few years ago) the responsibility of his care will fall to me. Which is absolutely as it should be but I’m not sure I’d want to put the same on DD if I can help it.

I know this would sound weird anywhere else, but today I have EWCM and there was a speck of blood in it this morning (never noticed either before, maybe my meds are working??), and we've DTD 5 days in a row (we're on holiday 😉) and still going strong so I'm in this weird half elated and hopeful, and half depressed and panicking mood 🤪😂.

@jaggy it could be ovulation bleeding, or it could be a bit of irritation from dtd 5 days in a row. Hopefully either way you get a bfp!

Thanks @MynameisJune fingers crossed! Think my body needs some time off from DTD (as fun as it is) either way.

I get that most months when I OV @MynameisJune !

Thanks ladies. I think that it’ll be something I seriously consider maybe next year if I haven’t got pregnant by then. Which I won’t have.

jaggy could it be from dtd so much? Hope you’re having a nice holiday!

I’m being a right bitch today, OH is pissing me off just by breathing so I know af is on the way. Ffs.

Hello all, just checking in. AF arrived on Saturday morning which means I’m back to regular 28 day cycles ( the last 4 have been) which is nice at least. On to cycle 19!

DH has been told his SA results are at the GP surgery so he’ll call tomorrow to make an apt to discuss them if it’s somethinf worth discussing - receptionist said she couldn’t say if it was good or bad news as she isn’t allowed to interpret them apparently.

I had a fall out with a friend who was a TTC buddy but fell 4 months ago - I don’t know why I was the person she thought it was appropriate to vent to but she did, telling me how disappointed she is that she’s pregnant with a girl as she had assumed and got her hopes up that it was a boy and how she doesn’t think she’ll love a girl as much...

Bubble, adoption has always been our preference over IVF. At some point we'll go for it but I'm not sure when. I can't let ttc go just yet.

Just, sorry for af. Your friend... that's harsh of her to say. At the moment we'd both like a girl, but should I ever get another bfp I am going to feel so blessed with whatever sex it turns out to be.

Sticky yellow cm today. I had that with my bfp last time, not feeling so positive today though.

@just sorry for the af, and the ridiculous friend! Your friend is allowed to feel however she wants but did she really think that complaining to someone who she knows is still TTC was a good idea. No wonder you’ve fallen out! There are some people I know who moaned all the way through their second pregnancy. Knowing full well we’d been trying to conceive before they even started. I don’t really speak to them now, can’t get past the insensitivity. Huge hugs.