When the going gets tough, the tough get Yams

[SoozC]

Thread five!

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement.

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

I would do it @LookingAtTheStars89 - especially if you are horny! (Think it's too easy to forget that sex isn't just for ttc!!).

I don't know if anyone else's DH gets a bit weird about dtd but mine has the last couple of weeks or so. Like, he'll stall going upstairs and I'll say "Ah we don't have to if you're not on the mood" and he'll say "I will be" or "no it's ok, we will" Last week he even apologised after and said he wasn't "really feeling it"

I was mortified. It's making me feel really self conscious to the point where I've decided to lose some weight because I'm worried he's gone off me! I actually said to him we weren't going to dtd one night because I didn't want to if he wasn't in the mood

It's almost like DH read my thoughts lol. We ended up dtd and he apologised for being a bit off and he did make an effort this time. Maybe it's the pressure getting to him, especially since he got his SA results last week.

Yep DH will delay going to bed or not be in the mood frequently. For him his meds affect his libido and he worries about being able to perform too. There have been times when I have worried if it's me but I remind myself it's not and he still likes to kiss and cuddle a lot.

I think when you are dtd because you need to for ttc, rather than just for fun, that fact in itself can be a bit of a turn off though.

Still no af here so caved and took a test this morning. Stark white bfn, don’t know why I bother getting my hopes up. I should know by now.

&mynameisJune I'm the same negative some f*cker doesn't want me to have this!!!!

So it feels like one thing after the other here.. got my tests back and doctor says i have BV. She was going to prescribe antibiotics and was then like.. hmm maybe not as your TTC. Stupidly googled it and am now freaking out. How do i get rid of it without antibiotics?? Pretty sure my AF is on its way so am tempted just to go screw it and take the antibiotics.

Obviously been stressing about it as slept so badly last night. :-(

@Pinkemi. I think I might have that. Have you had any symptoms? I think I've got a bloody uti I've been peeing like a horse for a week. I'm at the Drs on Tuesday for a smear so I will get them to check. Do you think they would check for BV during my smear?

From what I have read, I didn't think you could get rid without antibiotics but I might be wrong.

@MynameisJune and @lolli18. Sorry for the BFN's BFNs are worse than the arrival of flo! X

@pink I’ve had BV in the past, I don’t think you can get rid of it without antibiotics so I would just take them.

@looking yes they should look at it from your smear that’s how I found out I had it. You might not have a UTI, progesterone can make you pee more.

Well after some pale brown spotting yesterday nothing so POAS BFN wasn't really expecting anything else just let myself get a little bit excited.

Looks like we will have 1 more cycle whilst waiting to see the fertility clinic.

Hugs to everyone else with the BFNs today.

Does anyone live in the Bath and North East Somerset NHS trusts? I’ve just read they are not funding IVF for couples where the men have a BMI of over 30 as they struggle to conceive naturally because of that.

Wonder how long that will take to filter down to the rest.

This ttc stuff is stressful! Not only is it a mental strain but we have to put up with bv/thrush/uti's from all of the sex!! I try to be so careful down there, I pee after sex and don't use harsh chemicals down there. Although we do use lube so I suppose that might be a risk factor bit I can't dtd without lube .

@MynameisJune. 30?! Good job we can't get NHS treatment as I imagine my DH is over that. Do they really think mens bmi has that much of an impact or is it a cost cutting thing?

I've read that in the next few years that the government are going to be implementing a 400-600-600 calorie intake thing we are meant to be sticking to a day They will be choosing our weekly meals next lol!

@looking I imagine it will be more of a cost cutting exercise than anything. They’ve already restricted women so why not men now to make it a little bit more difficult. So many hoops to jump through in order to achieve what the majority of the population can achieve without issue.

@MynameisJune. It's quite cruel really.

June thankfully not as DH is overweight as am I. Both loosing loads though

looking I think the 400-600 calorie thing is to do with some recent research on reversing diabetes. It couldn't be rolled out to everyone or there would be a he'll of a lot of malnourished people as on average we need 1600 - 2000 calories a day just to maintain normal bodily functions and day to day activity let alone sports etc

Hmm, I bet my husbands BMI is above 30! If it's affecting IVF funding then I'm assuming it could affect fertility in general (although his brother/cousin never struggled with three kids each on first month of trying and they're bigger than him).

Bath and North East Somerset are terrible generally. They wouldn't refer me for IVF on the basis that by the time I got to the to of the list of be too old. Cut off point was 38 and I was 36 at the minute.

They also didn't do all my testing.

@si1ver it’s so unfair that things can differ so much from area to area.

Today I just want to hide from the world and delete all my social media accounts. All I see are pictures of my friends second babies, who they conceived and gave birth to whilst we have been trying. So fucking sad about it all today.

S1lver so sorry to hear that are they allowed to do that it sound like she discrimination to me!

June hugs I know that feeling I lost count after the first 10 announcements last year. Then there is DB and SIL who are definitely batting out of turn lol have recently heard from MIL that BIL and SIL are ttc. Not sure I can bear it if they get there before us too. BIL has a history of everything DH does/has he has to go bigger and better and it would seem so unfair if this was yet another thing. I'm trying hard not to think uncharitable thoughts towards them and their ttc journey though.

I feel decidedly shit today AF has not returned after that spotting so who knows what's going on. Lost all hope after BFN this morning though

Age discrimination not She discrimination

@pinkdonkey. Yeah my not so DB and SIL are going to start ttc at the end of the year.

He's one of those people who seems to have been an asshole all of his life but still manages to get everything he wants! As you can tell, I'm not a massive fan lol. No doubt they will get upduffed on the first try!

I got the least helpful scan result this afternoon "Should consider doing a hormonal profile - question ovulation?" What the hell does that mean?! I rang and left a message for the DR to call me back. The results lady gave no indication as to what had been seen to question my hormone levels or ovulation.

looking BIL is an unpleasant person too. He lies, steals and cheats and it always seems to pay off for him. DH is the most honest kind genuine person you could wish to meet and always has to fight for everything. Even MIL has commented to this effect which is surprising as she thinks the sun shines out BILs behind most of the time. Life's just not fair sometimes is it.

looking sorry posted too soon. Sorry about the confusing result, hope a Dr can explain it soon.

June, sorry you're feeling down about it. We all understand, get everything off your chest here! x

Pink, sorry for the bfn. Got my fingers crossed for you - you're not out till af!

Looking, try not to worry about the results, could be something and nothing. Hope it's all okay though x

I am now wearing my rose quartz and moonstone fertility bracelet! Got it on Wednesday. I'm turning into such a hippie - 25 cycles and I'm believing in acupuncture and crystals! Not to mention my maca root plus the other vits. I am trying to lose weight and drink more water though, so there are some practical things I'm trying!

We're off to look at a house tomorrow. Can't wait, first one we've booked to visit. I am giving DH the night off again: I'll jump on him tomorrow. 4 times in one week is about his limit though! Bless him, he is quite old.

Still got my positive feeling. No idea when/if I'm ov'ing so that adds an air of mystery to the proceedings! God, I'm gonna be so let down in about two weeks, aren't I?!?! 😂

@pinkdonkey sorry about the BFN 😕

@SoozC haha, drinking more water myself too, but the only noticable result is that I pee more and sound like a horse or cow peeing!

@LookingAtTheStars89 hope you can get hold of your doctor soon and get sone answers!