When the going gets tough, the tough get Yams

[SoozC]

Thread five!

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement.

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

@Bubblegum89 love the calender idea, my have to try that one! My DH now likes to know when my FW is, but as my cycle length varies, its more like a two week "possibly fertile window" for me.

Dh has an appointment with the urologist in an hour to talk about feetility. He said he'd get an appointment in December but has been putting it off as he is dreading wanking into a cup and the idea that something could be wrong.

I pointed out that I had a stranger putting her fingers inside me and poked around inside with an ultrasound stick thing last week, so he can go and bloody have a wank. In any case, it looks as though I'm the problem so he's likely fine.

Got a call yesterday. They had said they'd probably give me my blood test results over the phone, but whan they called they said I need to come in for an apointment on Thursday. Actually terrified of what I'n about to be told.

Hugs jaggy

My DH doesn't want to know when my fw is (too much pressure to perform) and I really don't think he understands how short it is either. He might get a clue by how often I'm trying to jump on him at that time of month though. He's on quite a lot of meds which leave him with a low drive, drowsiness and erectile problems, so dtd can be a challenge we are lucky if we manage once in the fw which sucks. Things seem to be slightly better on his new meds and I'm pretty sure we hit ovulation day this month based on opk and ovulation cramping so feeling vaguely hopeful that his swimmers are fit and healthy this month following some overall health improvements over the last few months combined with him giving up smoking and losing weight.

Hugs Jaggy, hope all is ok.

Crap. Totally confused by my opk’s this fw. I seemed to be building up but not quite getting there and now see nothing. So I guess I ovulated already? Last month I had a really dark indicator line so there was no mistaking it. Today is cd17 so I think I ov cd16 again. Which would be 2 months regular! Will force persuade OH to dtd again tonight as a sort of last chance saloon. I hope we’ve dtd enough.

AF was due yesterday and is yet to appear. I know i should take a test and more than likely put myself out of my misery but just living in the possibility window currently. I am sure she will be along soon like she always is. Pathetic really

So I am now in my TWW and already feeling melodramatic about it all! (Sigh) Proper pity party for me right now.

Back from the fertility clinic. They’ve discharged me. The doctor said that all of our tests were normal, the HyCoSy was normal and he showed me the images of my fully inflated cavity and the dye spill from my tubes. I asked about a hysteroscopy and he said he didn’t think it was necessary. I mentioned my crap periods and he didn’t seemed particularly concerned. He said our options were keep trying naturally or IVF as he wouldn’t recommend clomid (as I ovulate regularly) or IUI (as there’s nothing wrong with OH’s sperm) He told us that 85% of couples conceive within a year and 95% within 2 years. I assume he meant people with no fertility problems which it seems I don’t have. I’m a bit miffed about not getting a hysteroscopy but I can always get one done private if I want to. I won’t do IVF until I’ve had one done so something to think about I guess. Anyway, it’s fertile week now so just going to keep at it for a while.

The doctor also said (don’t know if it’s of use to any of you) there is no best time of the day to dtd and that the day you are most likely to conceive on is the day after you get a positive opk. I’m sure you probably all knew that but I tend to get a bit panicky once I get my surge but he said that it is actually better to dtd the day after but to still dtd on the day of a positive opk if you can (and the other days of the fw obvs) but not to get too worried if you can’t

@Bubblegum89 Sorry that you didn't get the answers you were looking for.

hopeislost thank you

Although for anyone who has watched One Born Every Minute, my fertility clinic is in Liverpool Women’s and while I was waiting in outpatients this afternoon, the lovely Muslim midwife came in :)

Bubble you sound so composed - I'd be screaming with frustration

Didn't realise you were in Scouseland... waves from the south to my spiritual home ☺️

@Bubblegum89 I'm sorry you didn't get any answers today. I stumbled upon an old post of yours just now, has your Mum been any more supportive lately? I hope you're doing ok, sounds like it's been rough.

Hmmm good to know about the day after positive opk! I always thought the day after a positive was leaving it a bit late! Will be trying to focus on that next time then.

So when you say you have been discharged, does that mean they aren’t gonna do anything except IVF? I’ve been pondering IUI but same as you, DH’s sperm is fine so not sure there’s any point. It’s not as horrendously expensive as IVF to do privately though so I’m considering having a go at it later in the year.

I’ve never seen One Born Every Minute!

I often wonder where every one is from. I live in That London.

Hi @pibbee 👋 fellow London Town dweller here. I’ve dismissed IUI as it’s basically half/a third of the cost of private ivf and I figure that’s what we’re already doing with dtd so I’d rather put that money towards the Ivf! I’m checking out abc as they do a ‘reasonable’ package. Have also pointed out to OH we’d best dtd again tonight as that’s free!

@bubble it’s positive though, right? Not conclusive enough for you I suspect? I get that- answers seem to be a bit thin on the ground with unexplained infertility. So frustrating!

wonky I was kind of frustrated tbh but I’m trying to be level-headed and remember they’re the experts not me haha I’m going to go with their suggestions for now and see where that takes us. And yes, good old Scouseland, the best place in the world ;)

Thank you hidcat I’ll be okay I’m sure. Just got to keep positive (not my forté let me tell you lol) and no, she hasn’t been any more supportive. She’s very much involved in my new niece now. She doesn’t know we had an appointment today whereas OH has just been off the phone with his mum who called to ask how we got on. I suppose I’m lucky to have at least other people who are supportive.

Pibbee

Posted too early, stupid sausage fingers!

Pibbee yeah I always thought day after was too late but he said that when you get your positive opk, you tend to ovulate 24-36 hours later so the next day is perfect timing. Obviously I’ll still dtd day of the surge anyway, not taking any chances haha. We’ve basically been told there’s nothing more they can do for us. We can be referred for IVF but it will have to be private as I already have a DD from a previous relationship. He also said that IUI success rates are incredibly low and not really recommended for unexplained infertility as although it can work, it can take a number of tries which adds up financially and with medication on top too and that money-wise and success-wise, IVF was a better option. And one born every minute is lovely but they’ve not had a new series in ages!

lexie in a way it is positive. It means there’s no obvious reason why I can’t get pregnant which leaves more possibility that it could happen naturally. Frustrating too knowing there’s no reason. It’s a very bittersweet situation lol although while talking to my auntie before (who wasn’t able to have children naturally due to severe medical issues) and saying I had kind of wished something had been found so I knew what the issue was and how to fix it, she said that as annoying as it is not knowing, they could have ended up finding something that wasn’t fixable and then even IVF wouldn’t have been an option. Which is very true. Unexplained infertility is a pain in the bum but it could be worse and at least I still have options (even though there’s still no guarantees)

Thanks ladies. We actually have the opposite problem to a few of you this month - I have a very high drive (DH not as high as mines but still keen) and we've just been told hes not allowed to DTD for four days next week before his SA, argh! Thankfully its not in my FW but its not long before it and I tend to be really keen around then.

@Bubblegum89 sorry that you didn't get sny answers. But as you say, at least it means theres no unfixable medical issue there.

Don't know how you can watch One Born Every Minute, I think it would make me super jealous of all the fertile people and babies (and perhaps also terrified of giving birth!).

14 months of trying and finally BFP. Maybe it was deciding this was our last month of trying that did it.

@Catscakeandchocolate congratulations! Excellent news!

Thanks Hidcat. I am so shocked it hasn't sunk in. I have a condition which has a high miscarriage risk so not out the woods. Only thing we did different was I used conceive plus fertility stuff up my bits so maybe that was it. I wish you all all the baby luck going forward.

Congratulations Cats lovely news on this snowy morning.

Bubble I didn't realise that the day after was a good day to get pregnant. I always thought it'd be too late by then. Also, I love that midwife (don't know her name but I know who you mean). I like to watch OBEM (my friend was on it, but I won't tell anymore details as it might be outing).

I'm due on any day now. If AF hasn't arrived then I'll POAS tomorrow morning. I've had a dip in BBT and RHR though so all signs are showing that she'll be here today or tomorrow.

Congratulations Cat lovely news x

Congratulations cat

I'm alternating between feeling hopeful this month as:

1. We dtd day after positive opk and I had ovulation cramps that day.
2. DHs blood sugar levels are now well controlled so that should improve sperm quality.

And realistic that after 23 months I am probably going to hit 35 not yet pregnant. I've not felt this positive about it for ages but then I know that means that the down will hit me much worse when AF does arrive. I've been quite zen the last few months as I've not felt at all like I was going to get a BFP. I thought I was past the excited hopeful stage for the 2ww.