When the going gets tough, the tough get Yams

[SoozC]

Thread five!

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement.

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

Does anyone else's DH get a bit pissy about ttc stuff sometimes? I briefly mentioned to DH that I had read something earlier and he snapped at me a bit and said "Can we stop talking about this? It's becoming a bit all consuming, we talk about it all the time"

I'm a bit of an emotional person so I kind of had to fight back the tears. I felt a bit annoyed to because I think it's easier for the men as they are the ones that have to have flo or poas or knicker check or dose up on vitamins OR have invasive tests when things aren't as they should be.

I'm so glad that I can come on here and be supported. I'm not going to mention it to him anymore for the time being. That'll bring my real life "people I can talk to about ttc" down to 0 lol.

looking mine is just clueless. I find it awkward to talk to him about it because he just doesn’t get it. It’s frustrating when they don’t seem as on board, it’s okay for them. We’re the ones who get all the weird symptoms, do all the poas and get that horrible wave of disappointment when af arrives. Sorry he’s being insensitive

Hi all, been a bit awol of late. Been baby-bombed left right and centre and just been feeling totally ‘meh’ about the whole thing. And I have my HSG tomorrow morning which I am really nervous about. Haven’t been particularly worried about the other tests but this one is doing my head in. Oh and I just had to shove an antibiotic pill up my arse in preparation, which was pleasant

Hope everyone is OK xx

Good luck tomorrow Pibbee I think the anticipation of an HSG is worse than the actual thing. Aside from a few minutes of mild period-type cramping, mine was okay. You’ll be fine :)

Thanks @Bubblegum. Yeah I’m hoping the anticipation is the worst bit of it tbh! Also confused about whether I will find out results tomorrow or if I need to wait until my next appointment with the consultant. Guess I will know more tomorrow!

@Bubblegum89. Yeah, my DH wasn't bothered at all when flo arrived this time, I think he said said something like "Oh, so at least you dont have to worry about having sex tonight" I think he's even more blase since his Dr told him that 18 months plus is considered normal lol I'm like yeah but that means dtd regularly and having no obstacles!

Good luck today Pibbee, hope it goes well.

Looking they don’t always quite get it do they? They are separated from it in a way we never can be.

I’ve got an appointment with the doctor tomorrow. I’m hoping she doesn’t try to sent me away with yet more thyroid medication and nothing else. What should I be asking or pushing for? I’m assuming I’m not eligible for IVF but I’m going to ask anyway (we can’t afford private so will only have it if it’s NHS). Maybe Clomid? I’m not very good at standing up for myself.

Good luck with the dr’s appt @Sparkwood. I’m the same - well, I’m usually quite good at sticking up for myself but when it comes to medical stuff I’m weirdly not!

In a taxi to the hospital now. Massively early but I cba racing round the hospital in a mad panic trying to find the right bit...

@pibbee good luck for your HSG, let us know how you go.

@sparkwood do either of you have children already? If not you should possibly get NHS funding. GP’s tend to not prescribe Clomid, you will have to push for a referral to the fertility clinic. Clomid only really helps if you’re not ovulating so it depends on what the issues are.

I’m back!!! That wasn’t the most fun Monday morning I have ever had, but my tubes are fine! I am soooo relieved as I have been massively stressing out about that.

So now the question remains, why the hell is this not happening?! All of mine and DHs tests have been fine. So I guess I’m in the “unexplained” boat

@mynameisjune your comment about Clomid only helping if you aren’t ovulating is interesting. The consultant at the hospital has said that’s what they will put me on if my tubes are fine - but I’m with you, I’m not sure what the point would be, as I am ovulating?! I will ask her at my next appt. think I’m going to ask to be added to the IVF list at that next appt as I don’t want to waste time on Clomid and then start the ivf waiting list if you see what I mean... Might as well kill two birds with one stone if possible and do my ivf waiting time whilst on Clomid...

Congratulations on your niece @bubblegum89 ! Just joining the thread. Cycle 15 I think - who knows. Blood tests came back okay but waiting for dh's results.

@pibbee I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t prescribe Clomid for unexplained infertility in the hope that you get pregnant before you get to IVF. It’s a much cheaper solution after all.

We were doing some clearing out yesterday and I found the tests from DD. They were so strong that the test line is much darker than the control line. Makes me wonder if I’ll ever see another one. Although I know I’m lucky that we have her!

pibbee glad you have clear tubes! I’m in the same boat as you. Clear tubes, all other tests all fine, got a consultation at the fertility clinic tomorrow to discuss the HyCoSy and see what the next step is. We have been ttc for 18 months with no pregnancies so no idea what the issue is. The consultant told us last time that I do ovulate so she wouldn’t prescribe me clomid but she may do if all our tests come back normal. I don’t really know why because I only know clomid helps you to ovulate if you can’t do it on your own :/ who knows. We have decided that we are going to ask for a hysteroscopy (want to be 100% certain there’s nothing in there stopping me getting pregnant) and we will continue to properly ttc for three more months then I’m going to stop doing opks etc after that and enjoy my summer and then look into IVF in the autumn. I was going to try IUI first as it’s cheaper but I would rather pay more for higher success rates and then being able to check my eggs aren’t redundant lol they don’t check your egg quality without IUI and I’m not sure it’s any good for unexplained fertility anyway

Also we aren’t eligible for NHS funded IVF because I have a DD from a previous relationship

Had a chat with DH today and he's said he's happy to get the ball rolling rather than waiting out the 2ww. He's already got medical appointments tomorrow though so I don't want to overload him. He is another one who quite often doesn't seem to get it. I try not to talk to him about it too much as he thinks I'm obsessive and that unless I chill out that obsessiveness will prevent a BPD . He was lovely today reassuring me that he is happy getting tests done and that it won't upset his male pride if we need IVF. And that he would be happy to go the adoption route if necessary. It was lovely to hear, but I have friends who have done IVF and attempted adoption and things still haven't worked out and I'm not sure that we would pass a background check for adoption because DH was a bit of a naughty boy in his youth. I know they are ultra picky on who can adopt as I have friends who are upstanding professionals in health and social care who failed the background check for some reason.

BFP stupid auto correct

Ah the joy of ‘unexplained infertility’ @pibbee and @bubble Great news there’s nothing wrong @pibbee but there don’t seem to be any answers from where I stand for no hint of a bfp in 18 months. I really don’t know what else I can do. I’m already being told by my acupuncturist to chill out! 🙄

@looking mine gets a bit grumpy with me about the whole TTC thing- seems to think he’s doing all he can, which just seems to be to take some multi-vits! He can’t possibly know/understand how gut wrenching it is to watch my friends’ boys playing together and not know if I’ll ever be able to share in that experience. But I know he’s also feeling the pressure and really wants it to happen, so then I feel rubbish because we don’t have any reason for it not to be happening. Argh! So frustrating!

woohoo for clear tubes @pibbee and also for practical understanding partners.

My husband does get it I think. He's desparate to have a baby. But honestly I think he's only really got it since my miscarriage. I think the few weeks of believing he was going to be a dad then having that taken away from him really put us on the same page.

@LexieJean. Yeah Lol mine is the same with his man vitamin - which even with that he sometimes forgets to take. He will sometimes snooze off when he knows it's a night we are meant to be dtd, which I know is mean but it really annoys me! I get tired too but you know.

@Si1ver. It's nice that you're both on the same page. We have a DD together and I think sometimes he thinks "Oh well I've got dd" and don't get me wrong, DD is my world but it doesn't stop the longing. To me, I'm not wanting another copy of DD but a whole new little person, if that makes sense.

@pinkdonkey. It's good to be open minded i think. My DH isn't open to anything other that IUI, which makes me feel a bit under pressure sometimes.

DH took his soldiers to get looked at this morning, we will find out by Friday. I'm dreading it. DH will be pissy if something is wrong, he's one of those burly grrr men, if you get what I mean lol. Not pissy with me but in general. I have said to him that it doesn't matter if it does come back and there's something wrong, he'll still be the same man.

@bubblegum have you not had an AMH blood test? I have had to have that as part of the whole process, and that’s the one which checks Egg quality/ovarian reserve isn’t it?

My DH is the same re not really getting it. He has got better, but not by much. It’s so annoying sometimes! He has to have some routine blood tests at the hospital (need that box ticked as part of the ivf protocol if we end up doing ivf) and he needs to have them done in time for my next appointment in mid April. He came with me to the sodding hospital this morning and did he get them done?! Did he bollocks. It takes like 5 mins and you don’t need an appointment but he was all “I need to psych myself up...” meanwhile I am shoving pills up my arse and having random doctors shove cameras up my fanny....try psyching yourself up for that, mate! Grrrr

My DH mainly just gets sad for me. He's very good at not getting too frustrated usually, although he has expressed some when I suddenly stop jumping on him as he's never sure when my fw is.

Rocking along over here. (That was supposed to be 'ticking' but autocorrected to rocking!) FW coming up, need to crack on but so much work to do tonight!

Pibbee I’ve had my AMH tested but my doctor said it was just to test ovarian reserve, nothing about egg quality. Does it test that as well?

Glad to hear things are clear, pibbee, although I appreciate the frustration with the unknown. If it helps at all, I got my bfp after 20 cycles, so even with unexplained there is hope.

@SoozC I share my period tracker data with my husband, so he knows exactly when fw is. I reckon it's both of our responsibility to make sure we shag on the correct days.