Anyone else waiting to TTC?

[happytobemrsg]

I thought we could keep each other company while we wait!

Your age/DH age: 29/39
Baby #: This will be #2
When are you TTC: I think we should start in June when DS is 2 but we are so broody it might be sooner
Why are you waiting: We are doing some house renovations at the moment & sorting out some stuff financially. Everything seems a bit up in the air & I can only stress about a couple of things at a time. I'm looking forward to life settling down only to have a newborn mess it all up again
What are you doing to keep busy?: I'm project managing house renovations & enjoying one-on-one time with DS before he (hopefully) becomes a big brother. DH & I are having a huge joint birthday party in September for my 30th & his 40th so I'm enjoying planning that!

@BeeKeeping I was exactly the same until about 2 months ago! Part of me was wanting to hold my own baby but my brain was reminding me that really I don’t like children very much and I am quite selfish! The thing that clinched it for me was that imagining myself older and looking back at my life, would I regret not having a family, and I think I would.
I am 30 and so have enjoyed my 20s going on holidays and generally enjoying life and feel ready now (hopefully it won’t bite me in the arse now and I will be able to get pregnant!)
If you’re still young, I would just wait a bit longer until you’re sure. Tick off some off the less baby friendly items on your bucket list and revisit the decision in 6 months/a year. The clock doesn’t start ticking until much later now! A lot of people have their first child mid-thirties +.

I’m 27 so time is very much on my side, hopefully 10 years + till the decision is taken away. The only thing is that I really don’t have any baby unfriendly items on my bucket list.. any extra money we have we put into doing the house up. It’s going to be more than a 10 year project so I’m aware there will hopefully be children on the scene before it’s finished.

Just ‘selfishness’ getting in the way!

🐝xx

I see what you mean and I sometimes worry that I’m too selfish to be a good mum too, I think that’s normal! But try to look at it another way: would you be worrying about it if you truly were that selfish?! The fact that you’re thinking so carefully about it already makes you a great potential parent in my eyes But, having said that, no harm in waiting a little longer and focusing on the house for a while if you’re not totally ready yet xx

@BeeKeeping I agree with @BusyBee27 in that the fact that you are thinking about it so much shows that you're very respectful of what having a child means.

Ultimately there's no guarantee that it'll happen straight away anyway but maybe give it a few months and then if you decide you definitely do want to have kids but aren't ready to properly try you could just take contraception out of the equation and not prevent it. That way, it's up to the pregnancy gods.

beekeeping I feel quite selfish as well so I totally know what you mean. Not so much going out or spending money on myself. But I like time to myself. I like to sit in my pjs all weekend with OH and veg in front of the TV. I like my weekend lie ins. Something I’m definitely going to miss and not sure I’m ready to give up entirely. However I know I’d give it up for a baby once it comes.

This waiting business making anyone else seriously depressed? Struggling.

Yes luelle, it’s a never ending source of tension at home at the moment because it’s all I can think about and yet as far as DP is concerned, it’s far enough away that he doesn’t need to think about it so he thinks about painting the garage door... it makes me feel like we’re on totally different pages despite him telling me he wants a baby. This makes me feel lousy.

Happy Easter all! 

@luelle also struggling here and finding myself trying to talk my way around waiting. I know waiting is the right thing to do though! We had a family party Friday and everyone was asking when we would get engaged/have a baby, it was so hard! I just ended up smiling and saying I'd have to wait for him to pop the question 

By way of an update, I have agreed dates to go abroad with work (before we were planning to ttc), so I'm excited for that but it's now more important than ever that we wait. I can't go if I'm pregnant!

I'm also pleased to say we have a plan in place in case I need to get home quickly. I visited my Nan last week (along with the rest of the family) for a bit of a party and I was happy to see she looked good. I think it was a 'good day' but I'm glad to have seen her looking like herself. With all the optimism in the world we are only looking at a few months, though she has chosen to not know how long she has left. It is breaking my heart but we made some good memories, took lots of photos and laughed. I'm doing all I can to visit as regularly as possible, but with a 10 hour round trip it's proving hard

@BeeKeeping in terms of feeling selfish, you're definitely not alone but as others have said, the fact you are thinking about this shows you're not selfish. I sometimes feel quite selfish but then I remember how much love we have to give a baby. You won't have to give up everything you love to do now, and you'll find there are different/new things you will love just as much.

@BeeKeeping I just wanted to respond to your post about not being sure if it's worth it and pregnancy/birth being horrific. My advice is don't take as gospel all those horror stories you read or are told. I had a lovely easy pregnancy apart from some lower back ache and a little heartburn towards the end. I loved having a belly and feeling the baby move. My birth was quick- certainly not painless but doable (I know this isn't everyone's experience, I was lucky).

I found that people who have had a hard time nearly fall over themselves to tell you how bad it was but people who've had it easy tend to stay a bit quieter, maybe to avoid appearing smug or annoying! But if people ask me I do tell them it was fine. So don't assume it will be horrific!

Yup Luelle, it's tricky! I'm really struggling at times as I have 2 amazing friends who are both pregnant and due at the same time. I am so so so pleased and excited for them but it does make having to wait so much more difficult!

Happy Easter everyone!

Oh no @luelle sorry to hear you're struggling. Try and keep busy to take your mind off waiting.

Welcome to everyone new!

We have moved into our new house now so been super busy the last few weeks unpacking and getting it sorted. TTC has moved to the back of my mind a bit, although I did find myself looking at baby clothes in the shop the other day. I had walked over to the baby section and started looking at the cute clothes without even realising!

I'm struggling with the waiting too at the moment! It doesn't help that I'm currently having an anovulatory cycle after managing to ovulate on my own for a few months. Worrying that I've missed my chance by waiting!

I remember the worry before I had kids, about how my life was going to change and that I'd lose out on certain things. I think it's perfectly normal to worry about that! Yes things have changed but I still get some lie ins, the occasional night out and we have lazy days too. It'll mostly be watching CBeebies rather than stuff I used to watch but there's pyjamas, snacks and lots of laughter. So of course your life will change when you have kids, but you can still hang onto elements of your life now and find ways to build your kids into that. There's some stuff I enjoy even more now that I've got the kids with me.

@getmeamagiclamp My DH is exactly the same. Really not in his mind at all and it makes me feel like it is all on my shoulders but I got a bit drunk and had a frank conversation with him and he just said he doesn’t want to plan it or get excited before the time comes.

It was my birthday on Friday and he gave me a handbag and in the handbag were tickets to Paris leaving the next morning and we are here now! (Most romantic thing he has ever done!) Of course that all lead to sex and of course my drunk brain ignored the logical reasons to wait and we didn’t use protection, which I am regretting as my due date would be Christmas Day . Not good!!!

@FlapJackered what an amazing birthday present! I hope you have an amazing time! Although it may not be the ideal time for you to conceive at least you’ll be looking back with such fond memories as to the reason why you did.

@Nosering I hope this is just a one off ‘blip’ for you, as far as I was aware annovulatory months can happen to us all every now and then so hopefully, it’s just an ‘every now and then’ occasion for you and it’ll be back to ovulating next month.

@RandomUsernameHere congratulations on moving in to your new home!

Thanks @Getmeamagiclamp x

@FlapJackered what a lovely thing for your DH to do, have an amazing time!x

@Getmeamagiclamp I hope so too! I think it's probably my fault though as I've been eating terribly. I have PCOS and really notice the impact too much sugar has on my hormones and cycles. Back on the low GI diet tomorrow (finishing the Easter chocolate today!)

@FlapJackered what an amazing present! I know you're not keen on the timing if you did conceive, but what a lovely way to do it if you have!

So much activity here recently, lovely to see! So nice that some people will be starting TTC soon.

Wow flapjack, that's an amazing present! I hope you're having an amazing time!

We're off on our holiday tomorrow so I'm just getting everything ready. Very excited!

Yeah, was anyone waiting for April to TTC?? There must be some, seeing as it started back in feb. Good luck to those whose wait is over

I've been struck down with a sickness bug today, which has prompted me to hope and pray that my mother's horrific hyperemesis isn't genetic, when the time comes. Feeling very sorry for myself indeed!

Oh no @mussie! Hope you feel better soon. I've no idea about whether HG is genetic. I don't think morning sickness is necessarily though as I've spent both my pregnancies listening to my Mother tell me how she wasn't sick at all when pregnant and doesn't understand why I spend the whole time feeling sick.

Excellent, good to know. My mum was sick for the whole nine months of all four pregnancies! I am feeling much improved today thanks.

I'm struggling more this month as currently AF is 7 days late - have irregular cycles but this is 7 days after my longest cycle. Off to the doctors on Monday for bloods to see what's going on! Makes me not want to wait before trying!

Thanks, it was so lovely and an amazing present! He is not normally very romantic, so very impressed.
Now I have got (an unlikely) TWW again! Need to have more self control! I think I am ovulating today so it would have been 5 days before ovulation, which I know is possible but probably unlikely right?

@TheOneWithTheBaby have a lovely holiday!

@Jelliestogether Thats not fun, but at least you may get some answers at the docs. Have you come off the pill in the last year? My cycles are annoyingly irregular but the doc just said it can take up to 9 months after coming off the pill to settle down.

I don't know if it's due to me coming off the pill and being a bit grouchy but my OH is really getting on my nerves recently .
Anyone else feel the same or are you all loved up and being whisked off on holiday?

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever - before the romantic gesture DH was really frustrating me with his reluctance to talk about ttc or get excited about it. Now all is forgiven though! I go through phases with him (quite often at certain times of the month!). Maybe an evening or two with friends or to yourself without him around might help?

On another note - essay coming...I just got some blood tests back from the doc. On the phone they said they were all normal, but my Mum has a Thyroid problem and so I asked to see those results. It turns out I am just under the normal range. So normal is up to 5 TSH and I am 4.96. I made the mistake of googling it and it turns out in order to conceive and have a healthy baby I need to be between 1-2. I booked a GP appointment to talk about it but the next available one is in 2 weeks
I am worried because it is in the 'normal' range I won't be able to get the medication. Looks like I will be delaying longer than I expected.
Does anyone else have experience of Hypothyroidism?

I would recommend if anyone is having blood tests before TTC to ask for a print out of the TSH levels as apparently high TSH can cause miscarriages and low IQ and neurological problems in babies. When I researched it apparently people who have gone private were put on medication if they were TTC to reduce TSH to under 2 but NHS mostly will only do it once your pregnant if you're within the normal range.

Sorry for the rant, just a bit down and worried about it and I can't talk to anyone except DH and he is not bothered about it.

@FlapJackered I've heard that about TSH before, it's so frustrating! Hope you can convince your GP to get it treated.

I've just got AF so at least my hellish anovulatory cycle is over. I've been cramping for days now. Going to give myself a couple of days grace then hitting the low GI diet hard in an effort to make sure I ovulate. This will hopefully before the last cycle before we start officially TTC!