Anyone else waiting to TTC?

[happytobemrsg]

I thought we could keep each other company while we wait!

Your age/DH age: 29/39
Baby #: This will be #2
When are you TTC: I think we should start in June when DS is 2 but we are so broody it might be sooner
Why are you waiting: We are doing some house renovations at the moment & sorting out some stuff financially. Everything seems a bit up in the air & I can only stress about a couple of things at a time. I'm looking forward to life settling down only to have a newborn mess it all up again
What are you doing to keep busy?: I'm project managing house renovations & enjoying one-on-one time with DS before he (hopefully) becomes a big brother. DH & I are having a huge joint birthday party in September for my 30th & his 40th so I'm enjoying planning that!

@TheOneWithTheBaby welcome! I'm nervous about adding DC2 to the mix so I think it's going to be scary no matter what!! But you will be fine. I didn't have a clue before DS but you kinda muddle through. My BFF has a newborn & it was crazy seeing how naturally it came to me. You pick things up so fast!

@TheOneWithTheBaby we have already been, we went to St Lucia in Feb, was amazing! How about you? We used loads of insect repellent and I only got a few tiny bites. They could even have been from midges not mosquitos. Apparently though not all mosquito bites cause a reaction, so it is possible to be bitten and not even realise.

I'd like to join in too. My ds was born in april last year at 29 weeks. He spent 2 months in hospital and needed brain surgery so we had a rough start! Combine that with terrible hg during pregnancy and I sound stupid to ttc again! I've just always wanted 2! We are planning to start ttc in September; we want to move house and get my job sorted first, but we've already had a couple of scares when I got too broody and threw caution to the wind so you never know! I'm also scared it will take a long time and then I'm worried about going through a rough time again. They don't know why my ds was so prem so it may or may not happen again but I'm definitely not blessed with the naievity I had before he was born! Anyone else try after a preemie?

Welcome @Prembabymum! No that doesn't sound stupid at all. What a difficult time to go through. Hopefully dc2 arrives much more smoothly!

Guys, I started my multivitamin today. Feeling very on the ball now. It's Tesco's own, and it was £3.30 for 30 tablets, AND on 3 for 2, absolute winner. Couldn't believe the price of the branded stuff. Very conspicuous box though, so will have to remember to hide it when people visit 😂 good to see it has iron in it too. I tend towards low blood pressure so I'm bound to get dizzy and faint anyway, without developing anaemia on top of it 🙈

Sooooo got a little bit too drunk celebrating DPs birthday last night and threw caution to the wind. Feel sick with nerves now as I know we can't afford it until my loans gone. I'm still irregular as hell, and it only happened once so it'll be fine and I can stop worrying and looking online at baby clothes right?

I am stupid.

New here. I'm TTC with my 7th. I'm 32 now and have been trying for 3 months. Usually I have no problem getting pregnant but this time I have been really trying and no luck. Maybe that's my problem. Any suggestions folks??

Hi everyone,

We started TTC in December, but I think we are going to skip March (would be due 2nd Dec) and April (would be due 2nd Jan).

The reasons are:

• I am a bridesmaid mid-July and if I conceived this months I would be 4.5 months pregnant. The dress isn't forgiving, so I would need to withdraw as bridesmaid and pay my friend back for the dress, etc.

• I don't want the baby to be born over the holiday period, if possible.

• I am about 1 stone 3 lbs over a 'healthy' weight for my height (over 11 stone and only 5 foot 3). I'm worried that A) this will make it difficult to conceive, and B) I will get huge during pregnancy and it will affect my self confidence (my Mum gained a lot of weight and never lost it).

• It's quite a stressful period at work over the next month or so.

I'm considering using the two months to lose weight and get fit, and prepare my body for pregnancy. Is this ridiculous? I get the impression skipping months is seen as silly by many people on these boards, as for all I know it could take us years to conceive (we have tried for 3 months with no luck already).

FYI we're both 28, I'm 29 in November. Ideally I'd like my first child before or at 30 as I'd like at least 2 children.

@Doodlebug89 welcome!

I think waiting a couple of months sounds good, as well as using the time to get your body in shape. I am planning to use my time between now and ttc (although it's a longer wait than you) to look after myself a bit. It could take years and it is impossible to plan for it, but you will give yourself the best possible chance if you are fit and healthy.

I'm happy to keep you motivated and the ladies on this thread are all super lovely and make the waiting feel easier.

Thanks @dotdally. Sometimes I feel like I want a baby RIGHT NOW and worry that I am running out of time to start a family, and other days the thought terrifies me - I have a career that I have worked hard for, and I'm still only in the early stages, so starting a family too will be a tough balancing act.

I thought at 28 I'd be very 'put together' but I still feel like I can barely look after myself .

Hi @doodlebug89!
Great name! I sometimes feel like I want a baby RIGHT NOW too, but common sense usually prevails today I'm really feeling it, and DFiancè is getting on my nerves, but I think I might have negotiated my way down to starting ttc at the start of August (6 weeks before the wedding).

Career wise, I imagine I'm in a worse position than most of you here, I'm still hating every second ahem, finishing my MSc. Not ideal!! But there are lots of reasons why we don't want to wait until I'm established in a proper career, so Ive just decided to stop worrying about it and we're going to go for it from the month before I finish it. What will be will be!

@Hofty I think perhaps it is never a good time.

Up until now it's not really been possible for me. I was studying for my PhD and then got my first academic job with 3 years probation. I was very nervous to go on maternity leave when on probation, but fortunately I passed my probationary period last summer. So now I am running our of excuses I think to myself, which would I regret more, having an okay/average career rather than a highly successful one, or never having children. For me it's very clearly the latter, so I guess the career has to give a little at some point! Still have no idea how people with kids manage it though!

@Doodlebug89 @Hofty I am incredibly fortunate to work in a place that allows you to progress just as much as parent. It's just about balance - I work with women who do the morning drop off, come in and then leave at 4. The flexibility and ability to work from home means most working parents (in particular mums) will work at home in the evening once children are in bed. It's all about balance I guess - some of the most efficient people I work with are Mums! Can you work flexibly/from home at all @Doodlebug89?

@dottydally that sounds brill! You're all set. Remind me why you're waiting? Sorry I've forgotten. Sieve memory!

@Doodlebug89 blimey 3 years is a long probation! Is that standard in academia? I thought I wanted to do a PhD at the end of my undergrad, now I'm stuck in the never ending pit of hell that is an MSc in International Relations, I know that I definitely don't! What was your PhD on? If you don't mind saying

@Hofty it's one of the things that makes me comfortable doing it so young, knowing I will be able to keep my identity as a professional as well as a mum. Don't want to say too much as worried it'll be outing, but I have a few exams etc this year and I want to make sure I'm fully qualified before we ttc. I'm well aware I wouldn't get the exams/coursework done with a baby, is hard enough to motivate myself as it is!

I know it's a long way off but has anyone else thought about what they will do in terms of going back to work?

@dottydally I was planning on staying off work till at least the little one (ones) start school- maybe set up my own business to keep earning some money- not quite sure what to set up though- so many decisions to make- we don't have anyone that would be willing to help look after baby on day to day basis and I don't earn enough to make it cost effective to go back to work really.

@Pinkroseuk setting up your own business sounds good! It is pretty awful how expensive childcare is and I question whether I would go back if I was in your shoes. Have you thought about childminding? Would mean you can be at home with your little one(s) and still be making some money from it

@dottydally no I hadn't thought of that but it's a good idea- thankyou :)
I used to have my own business before but had to start work so we could get a mortgage but i actually earn less now working full time than I did working for myself 3 days a week!! I will have a look in into that though as that does sound like a good way round it :)

I've just hit my fertile week. The temptation to just get on with it is overwhelming! DH doesn't help with his relaxed attitude. He used to want to be so careful but now we've made the decision to start trying in a couple of months, all caution has gone! I don't think either of us believe that I'll get pregnant easily (after it being so difficult the last two times) so it seems almost silly to be careful.
I'm blatantly just talking myself into it here aren't I...?

I've actually just put this whole message on a new thread but I really need to decide soon so thought I'd try here too!

I'm in a bit of a pickle; my husband and I have a wee boy who's almost 1 but was born 10 weeks early and had a very rocky start (brain surgery etc). This had followed on from an incredibly hard pregnancy with sevear HG. So, needless to say the prospect of more kids is a daunting one but nevertheless I am certain I do want more. Since he was born we've been a little careless a few times but it's not resulted in another pregnancy (although by 'careless' I do mean pull out and pray rather than, um, anything more risky!) I'd always figured that if I were to get pregnant then we would cope.
Anyway, financially we are in a rocky place; my husband has a bad credit rating and so now we are house hunting the mortgage needs to be entirely in my name. As a result I'm just about to start back at work as a teacher half the week and an education consultant the rest of the week. I'd looked into full time teaching, and the option is there, but I far prefer my other job and do enjoy doing both so when my other work offered yesterday to put together a post specifically for me, at a good pay level, so I can get a mortgage but continue yo do both jobs (I'd previously been agency employed for this role) I was delighted! Although it does mean I can't get pregnant for a while as my mat leave allowance would only be very basic and I wouldn't get enough sick days to cover me if I got HG again. I also think it would just look really bad to get pregnant again so soon after they bend over backwards to order me this job!
However; I only found out about this job, which really is a golden opportunity, today. Last night when I thought teaching full time was my only option (something I'm far far less keen on but is mych less financially unstable and I would feel far less guilty about if I got pregant) my husband and I threw caution to the wind and were extremely uncareful...
Now I'm torn. I'm 32 and know I want another baby soon, but with this new job 'soon' means in maybe a years time. I'm not due to ovulate for another couple of days but my cycle isn't super regular so it might be sooner. Do I take the morning after pill and put work first (it would still be 48 hours after sex if I took it tomorrow eve) or do I just wing it and see what happens. Obviously if I were to get pregnant then my employer would just have to be ok with it but I definetly wouldn't look good! What if I don't get pregnant again so easily this time and I feel awful for throwing away this chance?? Should I just let fate run it's course and see what happens?? My husband thinks I should take the pill. What would you do??

@Prembabymum that is a dilemma. At least you have your teaching as a fall back plan. Do you think being PG would affect your relationship in the other company? If not then there's no reason to take the pill unless you feel you want to.

@HidCat yes, I think it would make me look really flakey in their eyes. I think I will take it; it's been a very hard year so a bigger gap between babies would probably be very sensible from my mental health perspective

Gulp.. come into work to find I have the opportunity to spend some time away with work, but it's in a zika zone. Would love to take the opportunity but worried how it would affect me ttc.

I'm sorry I can't remember who it was that was talking about Zika testing - advice would be helpful though please!

I don't know about testing - but the guidelines are to wait 6 months to ttc once you're back from a zika zone. Personally if it added on an extra 6 months to my wait time I wouldn't. Sounds like an amazing opportunity though!

@Hofty Yes, its pretty standard for a new lecturer. It's to check you can deliver the right quality teaching and research, and give them a chance to chuck you if they can't Most people pass without issues though. I'd rather not give specifics, but it was in the social sciences.

@dotdally I only need to be on campus when I have lectures or meetings, which means I can work from home 2-3 days per week during term time and most of the time outside of term time if I want to. So there's a lot of flexibility once I go back from maternity leave, it's just that the work will need to be done at some point. At the moment I frequently work evenings and weekends (not all the time, but often) and I wonder how I will manage when I can't do that. I think I need to work on becoming more efficient and taking on less, so that I don't struggle so much when I have a child to look after.

Last night I was so tempted to throw caution to the wind and try. One of those I want a baby RIGHT NOW moments. Then this morning I had a positive opk. Trying to stay strong and wait it out!

@Doodlebug89 my Dad was a lecturer (retired now) and I remember him sitting me in front of the telly when I was home from school because I was ill, so he could do his marking etc. It was great though as he was always home during the holidays and could be around for me if I needed. He was in private practice before lecturing and he wasn't at home nearly as much then. Once he worked at the uni, he never had to miss parents evenings or school plays etc.