TTC after recurrent miscarriage thread 2 - we're not giving up

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

Shiny new thread! :)

Hi @MissPMA welcome and I am so sorry for your losses. I see that you have said you have older dc, were either of them particularly traumatic pregnancies/ births?
I know that one of our ladies @Paranormalbouquet had had an c-sec that left her with some scarring etc that it seems likely were responsible for her recurrent miscarriages.
Get GP to refer you to recurrent miscarriage clinic as well, they will do a full check of everything for you.
Take care of yourself over the next while.

Hi @MissPMA I'm sorry you've found yourself here. I don't know how I'd cope without the support of the lovely ladies in this group. It's nice to speak to people who truly understand.

That's good you have a plan @Miami. I still don't have a date for an appointment with consultant. Hoping it will be in the next few weeks before we go on holiday and start trying again. I have gynae appointment tomorrow for mid cycle bleeding. I'm not expecting them to do much about that.

That's amazing news @Maimi81 feel very relieved for you xx

Oh @Miami81, oh my god, what a rollercoaster!!!!! Yesterday must have been horrendous and then followed by such relief today, I'm thrilled to bits for you. How's your head coping?!

Is heparin like fragmin? Have you had it before?

Hope it comes through soon @Hopefulforourrainbow, waiting is such a bastard. Have you had pain or just unscheduled bleeding?

Welcome to our little gang @MissPMA and sorry for everything you've been through

Oh @miami81 , so so sorry to hear. Thinking of you

Thank you for your replies. I’m feeling a bit better about things,my husband’s on his way home so it will be nice to spend some together and I’ve told work I’m taking the week off so I can get my head sorted, I’m going to try to get out and do some nice things. I feel so lucky to have my two boys and honestly don’t know how I would have got through the past year without them,I’ve read some of the posts here and it sounds like so many of you have had it unbelievably difficult.
Thanks @miami81, I’ll keep my fingers crossed everything goes smoothly for you from now, it sounds like it must have been very stressful. both of my successful pregnancies went relatively smoothly and I was lucky to have straightforward births, my first miscarriage was difficult and I lost a lot of blood, and had pelvic pains/twinges for months after, plus an occasion when I had severe stabbing pains in my side which the gp couldn’t explain but said it was not related to the loss. Hopefully we can start to get some answers, in the meantime I’m going to look into either acupuncture or reflexology

I know @AnneLovesGilbert total rollercoaster. Feel all at sea now. Have come to work for the rest of the day.
Yes sorry it is fragmin (daltaparin) that I am on. Fucking stings like a bitch.
Now if only I could develop some really strong pregnancy symptoms soon that would be awesome!!
It felt so good to see it with its wee tiny heartbeat today. Makes it feel a bit more real anyway.
And you know if it all goes to shit then at least I saw it today and it was real and doing it's wee thing. All 7.7mm of it.

That's a good size @Miami81! Well done little bean And I know exactly what you mean, it meant the world to us that we got to see our last little one with its tiny flickery beating heart twice. We found out it was another girl at my last apt, not sure if I ever said. I wonder what this one is?

What dose are you on? I'm on 2500 twice and doing it 8am and 8pm. It can be a right twat of a pain but I've got used to it now and it's honestly not that bad. I'm fast running out of non bruised belly to jab so going to start on the thighs. If I ever get far enough along to have a proper baby bump it's going to be the ugliest thing you've ever seem, mottled black and blue, purple and green and yellow! But at least the bruises don't hurt. I find it marks less if you can avoid the bottom of the plastic bit touching the skin as you plunge,

Really hope your good news continues and the jabs aren't too painful. It's the old feeling better for doing whatever you can to help that makes it better.

@AnneLovesGilbert I'm on 5000 iu and she doesn't mind when I take it.
I'm not sure whether @Paranormalbouquet (or someone else with medical knowledge) had mentioned a best time for taking it and taking the baby aspirin. My instinct is to take them separately. I have been taking my aspirin after my dinner at the mo (so that it's on a full stomach??)
The sting doesn't last for long at least.
Got cyclogest too, not much of it though, will need to sort with GP maybe.

Ah another girl @AnneLovesGilbert how lovely. I am sorry sweetie. It's sucks but if this one had been over already I wanted to know as I wanted to be able to think of them as a person not just some cells.
My instinct is that this one is a boy. Don't know what I am basing that on. I dreamt that dd was a girl (and I was right) and have already had two dreams where this one is a boy.

The pharmacist said take fragmin and aspirin at night. I think as a pill and a jab they're probably metabolised completely differently but don't have a clue. Consultant said aspirin can be anytime so I'm actually taking it first thing with my pred as I have to eat before those anyway. I still loathe having to eat as soon as I wake up! Makes me very grumpy. He also said the fragmin lasts 4 hours so just take it roughly the same time but it doesn't really matter. Last time I did it at 6pm but now they're 12 hours apart I've bumped the evening one. Apparently aspirin lasts 3 days?! So that matters even less when you have it. I have to have a really rigid regime or I'd forget so I have alarms on my phone for everything and haven't missed a dose of anything yet

I can't remember if you took fragmin post DD or have otherwise had it before? If not, the main thing is don't touch it once you've jabbed, if you try and rub it bruises way worse. Sorry, will stop giving you unsolicited advice!

Cyclo up the bum has been a total game changer for me too, can't believe I was putting up with the constant white leakage Up the bum and I totally forget it's there!

@Miami81 I'm so relieved to hear that. What a rollercoaster you've had. Hope the new meds go ok and I've got everything crossed for you!

@hopefulforourrainbow fingers crossed your appointment comes through soon so you can get a plan in place for TTC again.

@MrsPMA I'm so sorry you find yourself here. I'm glad you can find comfort in your two boys. Do you think you'll keep trying for a third or ask for a referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic? Is it worth ringing your GP to see if they'll run HCG bloods to check this time?

No haven't had any pain with it Anne. Was told before I have an erosion on my cervix which causes the bleeding. This appointment is to see if they want to do anything about it.

Hi all- was offline for a few days and this dropped off my list.

@MrsPMA I was left with adhesions and a damaged cervix after DD was born via EMCS complicated by a nasty infection. I was planning to have adhesions removed if possible but this latest pregnancy seems to have implanted successfully (probably the scarring doesn’t cover whole uterus). Also have had a cervical cerclage so hoping for the best. My RMC clinic weren’t terribly helpful but did say that the best predictor of future successful pregnancies was natural conceptions, whatever the outcome which gave me some hope!

Miami81 what a rollercoaster. Did they find a source for the bleeding? I had brown and red bleeding all through the first trimester this time, and had a subchorionic haematoma. It’s terrifying seeing blood when you know how it usually ends but it’s not always a terrible thing. This little one hung on and the haematoma had absorbed again by the time I had my cerclage. Otherwise you are probably at the right time for implantation bleeding? I’m keeping everything crossed that this time you’ll be successful.

Anne every hospital I’ve worked in likes to give fragmin or similar around 6pm although I think that’s a throwback to when you needed to check blood levels in the morning prior to administering anticoagulants. Believe it or not these types of heparin are a relatively new invention- when I was starting out training they were only available for specific groups and have been more and more frequently used as the years pass. In reality I don’t think it matters when taken, but would try to take at roughly same time every day/twelve hours apart if twice daily. Aspirin has a very long life so time of the day matters less, but probably again same time of day helps. Hope you are not too battered looking now!

I’m up in middle of night again as have spd kicking in, and predictable scan anxiety building for Friday (20 weeks Friday). DH getting anxious too, whereas normally he’s very calm. I think that when you’ve had recurrent losses like we all have, looking forward to scans is impossible!

@miami81 that's great news! So happy to hear! I don't know why the thread didn't refresh all the way for me and my comment was stuck in a weird place after your positive news, sorry for that.
I'm towards the end of the TWW, AF due Fri so I'm symptom spotting of course

Oh @Paranormalbouquet the scanxiety is a real thing. Here for you. Are you going to find out what you are having (after all the important stuff is cleared obviously). We did with dd and after the mc's we both felt a lot more like she was real. Let us know how you get on.
Thanks for the heparin advice.
I basically didn't sleep at all last night.

Thanks @TaylsN fingers crossed for you.

@TaylsN when are you testing??

Good luck TayisN.

Miami would you believe I have the sex in an unopened envelope following harmony. DH hasn’t wanted to know, and I can’t really know if he doesn’t! He says it all is ok Friday we will find out though. I think it would help me, I’ve been very much in denial about this pregnancy. Even though I now have a fairly large bump I’ve bought a grand total of 1 maternity item to wear, although that’s partly because London has been so unbearably hot I think.

@Paranormalbouquet that is a lot of restraint on your part to not have sneaked a look at that letter. We can hold hands on the scanxiety, got my 12 week one tomorrow. I'm terrified.

@Miami81 we were like you with DS and wanted to know, after the previous MC I had distanced myself so much from the pregnancy I think I needed it to be able to bond with him. Being able to call him a "him" made him much more of a real person to me than saying "it". Some of the nicknames I've heard for unborn babies I really hate, like peanut/bean/nugget. But I know its each to their own on that front, I'm probably the weirdo with not liking nicknames.

@TaylsN good luck with the testing this week. Got everything crossed here.

I can't believe you haven't opened that envelope yet @Paranormalbouquet. But at least if you don't find out on Friday you can always open the envelope later yourselves.
I am already living in leggings, the bloat is bad.
I have been wondering about harmony, but I think we will hold off on any conversations about that for a while. We waited until the nhs results last time and if they had been in any way concerning we were gonna have the harmony.
It seems like I am going to be in the high risk clinic every week for a while. I really like my consultant, she's just an absolutely no bullshit type of person. Which given everything we have been through we both really need. She said yesterday that no question was stupid and that she will always listen to our concerns. It really means so much. Can't imagine trying to do this PAL thing without a consultant who is completely on our side.

@Labmum good luck for tomorrow.

That’s good Miami, I’m really liking the high risk clinic I’m in too this time. Have a midwife I know will answer my questions and anxieties and a consultant who gave me an email address to call at any time. Also surgeon has done the same so I actually feel well taken care of. It makes a really big difference doesn’t it. Also I find sitting in the preterm prevention clinic waiting room great as all the ladies are in the same boat- we’ve all had losses and are high risk for more. So there’s a sense of us all being in it together rather than me feeling anxious while everyone else gets excited about scans! I think not opening envelope has more to do with my general detachment than anything else to be honest. Even though I know I’ll be devastated it if goes wrong so I might as well look and let myself bond!

@Labmum the 12 week scan anxiety is the worst, definite hand hold from me. My doctor was brilliant and did a mini anomaly scan (and was really gentle as I’d had a big surgery the week before!).

Miami I only got the harmony because with my cerclage any erpc has to be done pre 14 weeks, and wanted to be sure results were back on time to allow for amnio etc if needed. I wouldn’t have terminated for downs but would for t13/18 so did want to know (obviously that’s personal choice rather than recommendations!).