TTC after recurrent miscarriage thread 2 - we're not giving up

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

Shiny new thread! :)

Hi everyone. That's us home and back to reality. Was nice to have a week in the sun together and to relax. Appointment on 6th June is to see consultant and discuss results though I came home to missed calls from clinic to say I was positive for lupus anticoagulant antibodies. I need more bloods in 12 weeks and if I get pregnant before then I'll be treated with aspirin and heparin. Not sure what to make of this. At least there's a potential reason for the miscarriages.
Thanks for sharing your results Anne.
Hope you're all well

Hi everyone, this thread fell off my list.

@AnneLovesGilbert I’m glad you got a negative, in the nicest way. And it’s good that you have a follow up meeting arranged.

@Miami81 that must have been a very difficult meeting to go to. I agree that it’s not worth not trying for the sake of 3 months if there is something potentially rectifiable, but I know that’s easier said then done.

@Hopefulforourrainbow I think lupus anticoagulant antibodies are suggestive of APLS and there is actually good evidence for taking aspirin and heparin. So fingers crossed it works.

I started 5mg folic acid as figured was no harm, after last loss. Was taking lots of the little ones but got high dose prescribed as easier. I started aspirin this time too. Not sure it was best idea as have had bleeding on and off throughout and need to stop it if I get to 10weeks as having my cervical surgery at 12 weeks.

Had quite a lot of red bleeding last night. GP got me an EPU appt first thing today and they were great (different EPU to last time, couldn’t face going back as they were horrible to deal with). Good news is I still have a little bean with a good heartbeat. Bad news is my subchorionic haematoma is very large so will probably bleed more and there’s a risk it might take the baby with it. Around 30% risk but figure my risk is high anyway so will just wait and see.

Measuring 7+3, EDD Christmas Day.

I think midwife thought I was mad. Was all calm and relaxed having assumed it was miscarriage number 4 and then burst into tears when she found a heartbeat. RMC going to scan me again in 2 weeks all going well, although EPU said to come back if I bleed heavily again so will see.

Sorry for the essay and hope I haven’t missed anyone.

@Miami81 I had hoped to sign up to the progesterone trial but it’s now complete. I did the MifeMiso trial after my last miscarriage. At least it made me feel like my loss was in some way useful.

Hope you had a lovely break hopeful and have come back rested. I did fragmin which is like heparin. Happy to chat if it’s any help. Not too long till your appointment. Are you carrying on ttc for now or thinking about taking a break till results?

Glad all going well paranormal. Christmas Day! That’s fantastic. I have two friends who were both two weeks earlier and had their babies on Xmas day. Both gorgeous little girls. So happy scan was good. I certainly felt like they treated me with kid gloves which was weird (I’m not made of glass, I don’t cry at bad news) but also nice. I howled with my two positive scans. Proper embarrassing snotty sobs

Amazing feeling.

I think af may be in its way. Day 29 since surgery so about right. Haven’t been temping so don’t actually have a clue but got my bfn 8 or 9 days ago I think? Been feeling blissfully unhormonal for weeks, boobs haven’t hurt, tummy normal, no feelings of any kind. Really crampy this evening and getting stronger. Emotions all level and good. Work is insane and everything feels a bit manic atm. So nice to not consciously be ttc. Been at it like rabbits but no intentions as such. If that makes any sense

Thanks Anne. Hubby wanted to wait 2 cycles so waiting for 2nd AF which should be next week sometime. They said they'd give me aspirin and heparin and treat me as though I do have it if I'm pregnant again before 2nd blood test.

@AnneLovesGilbert that makes perfect sense! After all of my miscarriages I’ve had a very short cycle followed by a longer one. No idea why. I seem to ovulate the moment my hcg drops. I suppose it’s like a trigger shot in fertility treatment.

@Hopefulforourrainbow I hope you are lucky soon and that the new treatment plan works for you.

Well I certainly won’t be making it to Christmas Day! If my cerclage goes in safely it will have to be an elective section at 37-38 weeks. I’m sad that I won’t ever have a normal pregnancy but apparently with a cervix as short as mine I’m very likely to deliver at 20weeks or so without the stitch so I’ll do whatever I can to keep baby in. Still high risk of prematurity even with stitch.

I’m still feeling detached, can’t quite believe it’s real. Bleeding every few days isn’t helping. I’m like you, I don’t cry at bad news- I’m all business like and practical. But then was in floods of tears having had a good scan. The midwife scanning was totally bemused.

Hadn’t arranged a booking appointment as I keep making them, then miscarrying and spend weeks getting reminder letters and texts even once they’ve been cancelled. I called yesterday and asked if I could book after the next scan instead of the usual 8 weeks, the midwife I spoke to seemed happy enough with that.

AF here! Feeling quite pleased all is working as normal. Can also try and plan whether or not it'll arrive while I'm wearing a very pale dress up a mountain for my sister's wedding next month...

Snap AnneLovesGilbert. Joy! Mines been strange here, seemed like it was starting on Monday (4 weeks +2days after MC) but only the odd bit when wiping all week, seems to be starting properly now though. Annoying though as it means its hard to judge CD1 to know if AF is going to arrive whilst I'm on holiday next month or not.....I might do some OV tests this month just so I can try to guesstimate when I'd be due on next month.

AF twins!

They say the first day of proper bleeding don't they, so having to use a pad or whatever you use? eg not spotting. I usually have it heaviest on day 1 then it tales off gradually so it's unmistakable. They're often not "normal" for a few months after a mc anyway, mine stayed the same frequency all through last year but with wild variations in length, pain, flow etc.

Good plan on knowing when you ov so you can plan.

Hope you're not feeling too pants.

@Labmum I had the same after MMC. First period was on and off for a few days before full flow. Then as I wasn’t tracking and surprisingly got pregnant I wasn’t entirely sure of dates but scan dates fit in with date of full flow.

And my fucking ex husband is having a baby. His new wife is 12 weeks pregnant. He's an abusive, horrible bastard, she's certifiably weird, and it's all going alright for them. Having a little weep before I make dinner for the step kids wondering why there's no fucking justice in the fucking world.

Oh Anne that must be really hard to hear at the moment. Hope you are doing something nice for yourself today.

Hi ladies I'd like to jump on this thread. I've just suffered mc no.3 at 10weeks. First two were 5 weeks in September and December. I have a scan tomo which was booked when bleed started but hopeful it will at least show a tidy exit in the absence of anything else.

Anyway, not sure where we go from here, I guess we'll work it out. I'll have to book with gp this week.

Nice to see a bfp or two on here :)
X

Oh @AnneLovesGilbert fuck that shit. Honestly. I don't know what else to say. That sucks lovely.
Hi @Yukka nice but sad to have you here. They might have more to tell you after scan about referrals for tests. I hope all with this mc goes as smoothly as it possibly can for you.

Life can be so shit sometimes. Hope you're ok Anne.
Hi yukka. Hope everything goes smoothly for you. You'll be able to have some testing done since this is your 3rd.
I'm waiting for AF to start. My cycle can be anywhere between 28 and 35 days. Kinda hoping we might have had an oops while being "careful" now that we know what the problem is and can try aspirin and heparin. Hope you're all having a lovely weekend. I'm on night shift 😢

@AnneLovesGilbert that's so crappy, life is so unfair sometimes! I hope you've indulged in some therapeutic chocolate and wine!
@Yukka so sorry you find yourself here. I'm currently waiting on my referral appointment after mc#3 so we can keep each other company on the rollercoaster.
@Hopefulforourrainbow it's great that they have answers for you. Hopefully the aspirin and heparin will do the trick and you'll get that rainbow soon.

Coming up towards due date for mc#2 and really struggling. I really wanted to be pregnant again by now rather than recovering from yet another miscarriage. I find myself constantly looking at siblings wondering about age gaps and feeling time slip away from me.

@Labmum due dates are hard aren’t they. Are you going to mark the day? I’m coming up to due date for MC #2 now as well; desperately hoping I’ll still be pregnant rather than going through miscarriage #4. I’ll still feel sad though, watching my DD get older, knowing she’s desperate for a sibling and that the age gap will always be larger than we wanted.

@Hopefulforourrainbow we had an oops while using condoms this time. Was a shock but am really hoping it works out this time.

Hi ladies
I had my hysteroscopy today. Surprise surprise it is still not clear whether it is a septate or bicornuate uterus. It is a large wall in my uterus (given that I never once felt dd move in left side I could have have told them that months ago if anyone wanted to fucking listen to me). So now I have an uncertain further few weeks waiting time whilst apparently they have a bit of a think about what to do. I mean what the actual fuck is going on. So now I am frantically googling private clinics to see if they can help, because it can't be this complicated to figure out what shape something is.

Sorry for ranting and cursing. Just had to get it out......

@Miami81 I’m so sorry you are still in limbo. Remind me, was the mri in any way informative? I can’t remember. It’s not my field but I can see how it might be difficult to distinguish between a bicornuate uterus and a septum on hysteroscopy but with both an mri and a hysteroscopy it should be easier?

Assume it’s going to an MDT discussion? I’m so sorry this is still going on without any conclusion for you.

Oh love. Rant away. What do you think will happen? Definitely find someone to see privately for a second opinion. You must be going fucking mental waiting for some bloody answers.

Sorry for my own rant Felt pure homicidal rage which came and went for a few hours and I had a little cry but I’m over it now. I have a new job! Well a secondment and I’m going to be run off my feet for the next few months. DH has a massive project on the go as well so we’re both going to be flat out which is just what the doctor ordered. Still not got an appointment date, must remember to chase up.

Had the weirdest AF. After couple of hours of mild cramps the night before, I’ve had no pain and no symptoms at all. Been bleeding but not heavy at all. No bloating or boob pain. Unheard of. Post mc periods have always been especially shit.

This is also the first year since I was about 10 I’ve had no hayfever. Can only put both down to acupuncture. If so, it’s very odd but sort of miraculous.

How was your scan yukka? Welcome to our little gang. I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through

How are you doing lab?

Thinking of you all x

@Paranormalbouquet
The MRI at least got us this far, in that the MRI seems to imply septate, but there is reference in the report to a small possible dip in the external contour. The wall they saw today is 2cm wide at the top, and tapers down (so is currently taking up around 1/2 my non pregnant uterus). He seems to think that the only way to know for sure is with laparoscopy- fine, but he wants a few weeks to think about it. Fucker. Why can't we schedule a laparoscopy whilst he has a think? These things can be cancelled.
Then at the end of it he was like - what age are you. Almost 37. Hhhhhhhmmmm he says. I have the absolute fucking epic rage now. Why ask that question when it makes no fucking difference to how he goes forward.
@AnneLovesGilbert thanks lovely. You know yourself sometimes just saying it all out loud helps.

@Miami81 I see. I think I’d be pushing for a laparoscopy +/- treatment ASAP too. I would contact them and ask if you can book it. I suspect going privatelyvwont speed you up hugely as they’ll want to go through all the investigations you’ve already had and you’d want to know the surgeon is experienced in the field, but no harm taking a look alongside.

@Paranormalbouquet I don't think we'll do anything specific on the day, just let it pass quietly. I'll be at work which is probably a good thing to keep me busy and not dwelling too much. What about you? Will you be doing anything to mark it? Got everything crossed that things go smoothly for you this time, can I ask how old your DD is? Did you have any problems before her or has it just been since?

@Miami81 its so understandable that you're frustrated, and so insensitive asking your age too, like it makes a difference. I'd probably end up crying and saying "well I'm 3x and should have an x month old by now" (ie; shut the f up you insensitive barsteward!). Perhaps its worth looking into private options and just seeing whats available while you pass the time waiting on the NHS?

@AnneLovesGilbert I'm glad you're feeling better, its good to just rant and get everything out of your head so you can move on. I've had a similar AF, lighter than normal, had a really bad back for the few days I was spotting but fine other than that.

Thanks for asking after me ladies, I'm doing ok, just trying to keep busy and not dwell too much, we've got a busy Summer ahead with work and renovations to our house so I think the upcoming chaos will help pass the time.

@Labmum I’m not going to mark it either, it’s not really me. DH works near me and has suggested we go out for lunch together perhaps. DD is 4. She was conceived first time we tried and came along 41 weeks later! I had a complicated emergency section and was left with a damaged uterus and cervix which are probably the cause of the miscarriages. This little embryo appears to have implanted high and far away from the damaged area so fingers crossed.

Had a scan in cervix clinic. Still a heartbeat, measuring bang on my dates now so has caught up. There’s some drama about what type of stitch to go for (one higher risk to me but more likely to be successful). I think I’ll be going for that one to be honest.