TTC after MC April 07 - Return to the Mother Ship

[popsy76]

Hi Ladies, thought I would just grab the bull by the proverbial horns and get this going. Hope the name is okay. MrsMc I am afraid we will all be thinking of you and your DH (and his light saber) everytime we post

Too many individual posts to go back and answer so I thought I'd start with a positive message for all of us from the March thread and for any MC newbies...

Today is my 1 month MN anniversary and I do not know what I would have done without you all. It is the ability to get on here and "let it all out" that keeps me going. I have been blessed to have found you all and whatever lies in my future - your kindness and advice will stay with me forever.

Big Love and Hip hip hooray for a fabulous new positive thread POPSY xxxx

p.s. Gilly get your arse down to london - we can drink the bars dry of Rose (purely medicinal of course )

Is there room for me? Miscarried on Sunday, on holiday on France, where DH and I had just discovered I was pregnant. 18 months and several cycles of Clomid up in smoke.

Feeling somewhat wobbly, so thought I'd come advice hunting. The French doctor told me that about 20% of pregnancies end in mc, but that I should take hope from the fact that two consecutive mc are very rare. Does this mean I might have a chance at TTC?

hi flossy
poor you - it is shit isn't it? big hugs!!!Well we have all been told the same so sounds right - however if is pure chance to mc then you'll still have 20% chance next time - to be honest i sometimes think our drs pluck figures from thin air as ttc and pg is a black box to them too? Am sure Mrsmcjr will be able to help!

Thank you all for the congratulations, especially to gillys prayer. I'm scared sh*tless that something will go wrong, but I know that all of you understand this.

This thread has been such help to me since the mc. Even this past month when I was just lurking, it gave me a lot of comfort to be able to catch up with all of you, and read that other people were going through the same paranoia, self-pity, fear, frustration, and obsessive symptom spotting as me. Many of you, particularly popsy cheered me up with your humour. Thanks to all of you.

flosspot, . You found a great place here. Don't despair, if you were able to get pregnant once, you will be able to get pregnant again.

Like the others have said flossy, if you did it once you can do it again. Most importantly you have to remember have fun whilst trying again.
I think we all forget it should not be about sadness and grief. Which I know is easy for me to say. Not so easy to put into practice myself.

Thanks Gilly- will look it out when I head to library tomorrow. Trying to stay positive, easier some days than others.

I'm grateful for all your advice and support though. Sad that it has happened to so many of us, but I do find it a comfort.

Hurray MG! Fab news!
Will have a look for that book actually too.

AF came this evening oh blo*dy hell am so pissed off and have moaned on every thread I can think of

shit. sorry.

Hi Everyone! I didnt bother seeing the Dr on Friday as I had a big heavy period and got a BFN so no point. But I am seeing my Dr in 2 weeks.

The Lesley Regan book arrived and I have been avidly reading it. I agree with everyone that it is a very worthwhile read and I am feeling much more positive. It has made me understand mc and biochemical pregnancy. And I am very encouraged by the stats re. going on to have a healthy pregnancy.

I am also trying to get my head straight and instead of drinking (too much) wine I have been teetotal all weekend Not sure how long it will last!

Popsy did you have a good party?

Congrats to MorningGlory!!

Welcome Flosspot

Hello everyone else

Thanks lissie. Think was being a bit self-indulgent, had a cry at DP who was lovely and feel much better now. Bless him, after he had mopped me up he said, 'Why don't you go and chat to your friends on MN cos they always seem to help you?'
Winkygirl - glad you are feeling better - it will happen for us all one day eh?

Morning everyone
Sitting at desk avoiding monday morning traffic...am in depths of post party paranoia and depression tee hee. Actually was fab - lots of people came over and we did lots of running between garden and house as the heavens opened once an hour - tsunami in Ware?
PG friend came and was absolutely fine - god I must be getting much better. Maybe was fact that she was driving her drunken DH home and had to endure a drunken party sober. Other firend came with her new baby (9 weeks) - they came all the way on the train (3 hours!) and asked me to be god mother (cue the tears ). Was totally gobsmacked - not least cos I am a drunken lush without a religious bone in my body - which i pointed out to them after several too many glasses of vino ( again). DH pointed out that they just want to secure free tutoring when she is older ().
Sisters new man got toally w*nkered and stormed off to a hotel that he didn't know the way too. I had to man-handle him out of his car () - should have just shopped him to the police!
Torres, winky, Gilly, littlebit I have tasted a bit of Otto lenghe Heaven and I am now even more determined to go there - some fab (rather posh) friends came over and brought me a strawbewrry cheescake birthday cake from there OH MY GOD - MEG RYAN MOMENT ALERT!!!!!
Hi Ellie sorry about AF -I know exactly how you feel - now we know why it was called the curse eh? . No one will really understand what it is like to constantly count days and symptom watch etc. I think I am now going to forget TTC and just be MGPGASPM (might get PG at some point maybe). This way i won't be in such turmoil.
Think AF is finally on its way - can't wait to get the bloody thing over with! I am also going to have a bit of a rest from the booze as have been a total drunkard recently. Is hen do in a month so am gonna try to hold off til then...wish me luck!Have a good day ladies xxxxxx

Sorry to dump a long moan on you all! Having a really really awful regressive day today, completely irrationally miserable. OVd on Friday and BD'd at the right time but today am totally convinced it hasn't happened as I've had almost immediate breast pain in both previous pregnancies, literally within 2 or 3 days and now there's nothing at all. So now I feel I'm facing the 2WW without drinking etc completely in vain and another long 4 deadly weeks stretch out ahead before we can try again.

I keep telling myself that crying my heart out today is completely insane, it's only my 2nd cycle since the m/c, there are people here who've been trying for years and that every pregnancy is different anyway but nothing helps. I'm utterly convinced this is it, it's never going to happen, I'm never going to be happy again, I'll never get over this...

It's such a lonely place to be because no-one in their right mind will understand at all why I'm so upset (heck, I don't understand it!), hence posting here where hopefully others are not in their right minds either!

I don't want to work anymore, I just want to lie in bed and cry until I get pregnant again

With you Siameez- yet to do the whole TTC thing again, but do want to just stay in bed. Find myself more distracted if I don't though, much as I hate to admit it. Please don't give up. Fill up the next two weeks, not with lots, but aim to get one thing done each day. Focus on that day and that task. You never know- it may be good news. If not, start again, one day, one task. Keep on talking here, because we are all here for you. And you will get through this. YOu will.

Thinking of you.

Everyone else, thannks for the welcome. And how long until I feel I'm on the planet again?!!!

you will never be on the planet again - madness while TTC then fretting while PG then you'll have a new baby and life will never be the same again (can't wait!)
p.s. simeez hang on in there - is is toally shit, but it will get better (I don't believe people when they tell me that. Of course everyone else is snae and knows that us not ever having a baby is a tiny chance compared to us actually having one...oh to be rational!

Thanks flosspot! Seems shameful feeling this bad for no real reason when you waited 18m for yours and so recently lost it. TTC makes me horribly self-absorbed! I do hope you're feeling better soon. You're right... one day at a time... And no, I'm sure staying in bed doesn't actually make things better but chance would be a fine thing!

Hi Popsy - Us not ever having a baby is only a tiny chance compared to us having one? Can that really be true? I'm quite appalled that when I read that I felt surprise, as though I'd never heard it before! This strange netherworld of ttc has actually made me forget basic biological truths and now I hear them but don't really believe they apply to me!!

exactly - it is so weird but this weekend a friend of mine looked straight at me and said 2you will have a baby" and I was just blown away - my brain now tells me I won't to protect me from disappointment - I'd love to be able to chill out and just let it happen but that is very unlikley - I agree focussing on small tasks and achievemnets is best - just had an email from my life coach asking if I am living for the day (instead of for the future as I used to)...i had to blush when I said yes
Ellie you have gone quiet - are you okay? Is everyone just keeping their heads down and trying to get on with other stuff?

Hi Popsy - been so busy at work today no time for posting
Feeling much better today thanks - good point there siameze though, I keep forgetting I am more likely to have a baby than not! Silly ain't it?

Hi Jules welcome back - in the nicest possible way (of course I wish you didn't have to be here ). God you have had a shit time haven't you? I am glad your docs said everything is okay - thinking about the reality of ttc and pg again is like staring into the abyss isn't it? At least this time round you'll have us to off-load on!

I was thinking about the thread on the way home last night and how many of the founders have now graduated...I started seeing me in the near future sitting here shouting "is anybody out there...?" as everyone will have left to have babies and then I told myself to stop finding yet another thing to fret about and just bloody pull myself together!

Had a good chat with DH last night - basically sat him down and said "right then Mr popsy - it is time for you to step up to the plate and do your bit for mini popsy - we need to do it every other day for the next cycle (which could be six weeks)". He went a bit pale then said "well you'll have to get the steak in then" ha ha. He actually said that that isn't as much as last time when we got PG - when we were doing it 2 times a day sometimes - I think I have been letting off the hook these last 2 cycles as he has been a bit stressed about trying again and I have been unsure of my body.
So that is it - I am defo gonna kick the arse of my eggs this month (poor thing thought he was in with a chance this morning...let me get AF out the way for crying out loud...may have to resort to other means to keep him interested til its over ).

Hi Ellie glad you are feeling more sane - we are now officially cycle buddies (though yours won't be as tediously long as mine so you'll be testing and I'll be doing my normal MAAS impression and having morning sicknees etc just before AF (Please please remind me of this next month when I go insane (again!)

Have a good day everyone

p.s. i have a feeling that many of our graduates have been using OV sticks and preseed...have been trying not to go down that route due to my OCD tendencies but there must be something in it...?
I am worried that with 6 week cycles I'll end up using all me sticks before I get a positive pee?

Hello girls

Don't worry popsy - I'm still here. Though I'm coming round to the way of thinking that I'm less likely to end up with a baby than have one, what with my age, history, etc. Been struggling with that one, rather. Not helped by the utter bitch consultant at the hospital being totally unhelpful and dismissive.

Just come back, though, from a fabby holiday in Los Angeles, where I cruised Wilshire Boulevard in a convertible Ford Mustang and generally did stuff that would have been impossible with a baby in tow. It was ace.

Can I join in the Ottolenghi meet up? Every time I pass that shop I end up pressing my face against the window next to the mereingues, and leaving a stream of drool.

Hi herby welcome back - defo must come for cakes - will be in August I think by the time Gilly is down here. Hols sound ab fab - very thelma and louise (was DH in tow?)
xxxx

Hi popsy- I haven't posted on this thread for a while as am finding it difficult to keep track of everyone. Sometimes it moves a bit too fast for me but I do lurk regularly!

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that my last cycle was also 6 weeks long. It was also my 1st cycle properly charting temp so I could work out that I did ovulate but very late at cd27. I used OPK from about cd10 which is when I tested pre-m/c but gave up after cd25. It was a VERY expensive OPK mth for me as some days I tested 2x a day as I worried about missing the surge. Since m/c I have not had a tve OPK and have decided not to waste my money on them this cycle. I'm going by CM as the fertility sign this time. Also trying to stay calm which is very difficult. DH was asking this morning how come he didn't get his duty roster yet? . Told him it's 'whatever' month and I could see a visible sigh of relief on his face . Poor thing !

I did buy pre-seed, used it 2x last cycle. Not too sure about it. Don't really think we need it as I do get enough CM. With the OPK, I've used cheapies bought off eBay and also ClearBlue digital ones which are extortionate (sp?). The cheapies are not as sensitive as the digital I think. I prefer digital as I hate agonising over the darkness of the test line compared to the control. Just one extra thing for me to be stressed about that I can do without!