Hi everyone, I am totally new to Mumsnet (and really any forum or social media and such like!!), but I wanted to chat. I have been ttc for 7 months after a mc without success, and am getting desperate and am very angry at DH, who put me in this position. I am about to turn 42. Sorry for the long explanation below. Please bear with me! I tried to start a new thread, but it just wouldn't work.
I have a lovely three-year-old daughter, born when I was 38. She was conceived in the very first month of trying, when I was 37.5. When she was 1 and I was only just past 39, I started trying to talk to my other half about trying for another, because I believed we both wanted more and I was worried about my age.
Unfortunately, he claimed he needed time, was worried about his job and so on. I would try to talk about it, but he stonewalled me. I would periodically email him in desperation, but he would never reply. I had said I wanted to be the first of my NCT group to have another and and he accused me of making it a competition (it wasn't). I said I wanted my children to be close-ish in age, and he got cross. And so it went on. Several of NCT friends had second babies, both my younger sisters did... while I sat up late at night unable to sleep. I warned and warned him about my age.
Finally, finally, we started ttc!!! That was a year ago, just shy of my 41st birthday. To my relief and delight I was pregnant immediately again, but I lost the baby at 10 wks, (Actually it was a mmc - the embryo had died a few weeks earlier). I had some drugs to trigger the 'evacuation' and waited it out at home.
At the hospital at the time the staff told me not to worry, they had plenty of women much older than me who had conceived naturally, and that because I had got pregnant easily I should be fine. I didn't get too upset then and was keen to get trying again. It took about three months for my body to settle down - things went totally haywire. But even now I can't conceive. Nothing. Not a hint. Just regular period and symptoms that suggest - I think! - that I am ovulating. I am also having acupuncture.
In my desperation, though, I did start researching supplements and all the rest and taking everything I could buy! For a little while was taking something called 'Cassanovum Plus' and was touted as 'optimising your cycle'. It played havoc with my ovulation until I stopped taking it (about 3 months ago). I still have not conceived, though.
I have been to the GP and had my hormones tested. They're fine. I am waiting for a referral for a pelvic scan but that's a long time in coming. My partner had a chat with his GP too. Neither of our GPs thought it very likely either that my fertility had crashed out, or that he has developed sperm issues, in that time. He was not tested, but maybe he should be.
Two days ago I wrote to a well-known fertility clinic, and was told rather bluntly that just because everything was ok when you were 37.5 does not mean it will be now. Fertility not only declines from about 38, but declines with increasing rapidity after 40. I knew this to some extent, but I was still knocked for six by the response. Didn't sleep that night. The fertility guy said that the supplements (I listed those, like Maca, I was still taking) won't do anything if I have a healthy diet (I do). He suggested getting an AMH test. I am absolutely terrified of the result.
Has anyone else had luck with babies in their 40s? Does anyone have another advice. I am not sure I could forgive my other half if my fertility has come to an end, just as I feared and warned that it might.
Looking forward to hearing from people!
Emma