TTC after pregnancy loss. Thread 16. New Year, new hope for all!

[NoCatsHere]

Hello to anyone TTC after suffering pregnancy loss at any stage. Supportive group for all hoping for their rainbow babies.

@Cakelaur. I'm sorry you are feeling like you are. I can totally relate, my baby was due on March 18th, so just over a month away and there's still a part of me that can't get over the fact that they aren't going to be coming. It makes you feel empty and lost x

I had ectopic pregnancy last year now ready to try again. Dtd on according to app ovulation day 2 weeks ago but after started yesterday. Got some concieve plus ready to try again this month

*Af,

Hi ladies, I'm so sorry we're all here.

I was 6 weeks on Friday, when I had a miscarriage. I'd only known for a week that I was pregnant (first pregnancy), and I'd had spotting for the whole of that time, so spent most of it swinging between anxiety and happiness. Because of the spotting, my GP referred me to have a scan at the EPU (meant to be today), but said to go to A&E with any bright red bleeding/cramps, so we did on Friday. They didn't want to give me a scan, and said to wait until my EPU appointment on Monday. Had 2 negative pregnancy tests in A&E, so I'm assuming the pregnancy ended a little while before, but took my body some time to realise. The doctor started to ask if I'd actually had a positive test, which I found a bit insensitive.

I phoned the EPU to ask if I still needed the scan, they said it was my choice, but when I told them I'd had negative tests they leaned towards cancelling it. I think that was the right choice? The bleeding only lasted 2 days, but I suppose that's because it's so early on?

I found losing my pregnancy symptoms really upsetting - I was so excited when I got that 'full' feeling in my boobs, and weirdly enjoyed the nausea because it reminded me I was pregnant. It's all just a bit crap isn't it?

xx

Thanks @PumpkinPatch000 had it this morning at Epu. There was nothing to see as expected...!! Just need to get a bfn on Monday then we can begin again. Also had the same thought about @PassTheAfterEights name and I'm also dairy intolerant . X

@UnicornsandRainbows1 @star88 hank you, passing out virtual dairy free after eights all round (after 8am that is ;)) and hooray @peachesarenom, happy for you! May the witch arrive soon!

Sorry for your losses - @Nightshifthell good luck this month and @lemondrizzlecake448 how patronising of the doctor massive eye roll just in case you weren't feeling small enough already Two days sounds about right for six weeks by my experience anyway, agree the physical part is really hard - I found the bleeding/pain etc quite distressing and a lot better once it stopped, it's bad enough having bad news but seeing and feeling it is horrible. Hang in there x hope you're OK today too @llondbol x

Glow reckons I ovulate today, I'll buy shares if it's right munches many after eights for energy

@PassTheAfterEights Thank you good luck to you too

@Hortonlovesahoo LOVE that with the rose called Charlie! So cute! We had names chosen for boy or girl and I feel bad still having those name set aside for the next potential. But hey ho.
@weasledee I’m so glad you’re back ttc. Fingers crossed!! And hopefully OH’s man flu disappears. 😁
@Nightshifthell excited for you fingers crossed. Have you been tracking cycles and things?

@LookingAtTheStars89 sorry you’re due date is approaching. Imagine if you got a BFP that month?!
@PassTheAfterEights have you done opks or anything? Or just by cm? You never know!!

Tried to get hold of EPU. Left a voicemail. They rung me when I was going to work so accidently missed the call and I can't get a hold of them now. I just want a blood test and my GP surgery might not even do that and just send me to the EPU anyway.

Euuurrrgh

@Cakelaur I started doing that last month when decided to try again. Sorry for your loss hopefully you will get some good news soon

@Nightshifthell - I restarted tracking my cycle and BBT after my miscarriage but seems to be all over the place (quite expectedly!). I feel that its gives me some control and helps me to monitor how my body is responding. I'm almost 2 weeks post D&C and I think I'm getting some ovulation signs...but equally could all be in my head!

@Hortonlovesahoo - We had the same thoughts to plant something in the garden to help us commemorate and remember, just need to sort out a space in our garden and then can get planting. I really like the idea of doing something personal to mark the MC.

Had my first counselling session post MC today - felt quite good to speak to someone unrelated who seems very experienced in all of this. Seems that I can get 8 session with the NHS, which hopefully will help me to process some of my emotions. Has anyone else had experiences with counselling?

@dulwichdays good luck I hope you get some good signs soon. Horrible isn't it. I had counselling but only the one session I chose not to have anymore. I hope it works for you

I think I need some counselling. I'm not coping at all.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 did you test today?

Ps new name switchd from di626!

@dulwichdays: I’d definitely recommend counselling. It can really help. I was thinking of either a plant or one of those star thingys that you can get to remember a date. I was thinking of that?

Does anyone else have nice things to remember their little one with?

@peachesarenom: definitely look at counselling if you can.

We don’t get counselling offered here but from what I’ve read you need to make sure that you’re acknowledging the loss and not just glossing over it. Then looking at whatever you need to acknowledge the loss and make something to remember it. One thing I was told by a very close friend that went through it recently was to not shut out DH. He’s going through loss as well and it could make you stronger if you remain open to each other and communicate.

I’m so lucky with my DH as he’s been my rock the past week and we’ve helped each other to deal and manage the emotions that we’re going through.

I spoke to my mum today about weird things coming out and upsetting me. For instance, I had all my scans listed on the calendar and today I looked at it and realised that I wouldn’t be having anymore scans for this baby. It just made me cry a little because it’s just the little things that are now hurting.

I have a photo of my little man’s hand that I keep looking at and that’s a comfort for me at the moment.

@Hortonlovesahoo I’d done the same with my diary and our calendar. First thing I wanted to do after we’d been to EPU was to go and buy another diary, but I couldn’t face having to look and see all the crossed out dates. Luckily DH indulged me which was probably the last thing he wanted to do!

@peachesarenom Is counselling available through the NHS in your area? if not, could you speak to your GP about a referral?

I'm gonna ask my Dr tomorrow. I just wish I could crawl under a rock and wake up in a couple of years.

@passtheaftereights it was great! So informative and exactly what I needed. Today at work wasn't as bad as I thought. People noticed I wasn't my normal self and could tell I was in some pain so I told them I hurt my back at the weekend. I told my friend/colleague whats happened and since felt much better, maybe because I've spoken about it out loud. She's very supportive and it's to know someone there knows in case I feel unwell or something but at the same time I know she will keep it to herself. I do feel like i've over down it though. I've feeling pretty uncomfortable tonight.

Is it normal to feel kind of bruised in your lower abdomen and then when you sit and stand for it to 'pull' and hurt in the same area? I've been getting that this afternoon rather than cramps. I'm still only spotting, just had 1 day of heavy bleeding... hoping I'll be lucky and it will stay that way and slowly go over the next few days but lets see.

After eights are my fave, well that and galaxy and I miss then both! Dairy free choc just isn't the same.

@UnicornandRainbows1 oh wow really?!! I need them in my life! Dairy free after eights yum!

@Hortonlovesahoo that is such a lovely idea to get a rose. I think i'll suggest that to DH too, I love that idea and it might help us come to terms with what has happened. So lovely for you to get a rose with the name Charlie too, that will be so special.

@peachesarenom that's good news! How long did you have to wait for BFN?

@llondbol I feel exactly the same about these boards. You are all such a massive help and amazing ladies. I wish the circumstances were different but it's lovely to get to know you all.

I saw that video too but had to turn it off or i'd have been a blubbering mess on the train.

Took me a month to get bfn.

@Hortonlovesahoo the diary this is getting me massively too. Part of the break down from yesterday was that my 12 week scan was tomorrow and a reminder on my phone went off. And it’s in my work diary and Home calendar. And we had started (early I know) bets at work as to when the baby would be born. And they were written in the work diary! 🙈 that’s the saddest part for me is the not having everything that we’d planned.

@lemondrizzlecake448 so sorry for you loss :( I also found on on friday and was 5+5 so in a very similar situation to yourself.

I know what you mean about the pregnancy symptoms. The hospital said to me they hang around for 6 weeks but mine have pretty much gone now. I also enjoy the pregnancy feeling even the nausea, it gave me comfort.

Glad today went well @star88 and fingers crossed you get your BFN soon. Annoying being diary intolerant isn't it?

@cakelaur ; that’s exactly that. I had a regular scan planned for today and 10 mins before the planned appointment , the alarm went off as I hadn’t removed it yet. It just got me.

I’m not sure how many of you girls named your little angels, but if you did, check to see if there’s a plant or flower with their name to keep it special or pick a plant that you’ll call theirs.

I completely agree about this thread. You’re all so wonderful and supportive when you’re going through your own dreadful experience.

@keepinghopeful I did with some IC. It's light but it's there

I had my first pregnancy last month which sadly ended at 6 weeks. Me and hubby are ready to try again. Can somebody help with my opks please? Top one was 1ish yesterday, they faded towards end of day (Don't know if it was to do with me drinking more towards end of day) The last one is my opk this morning. When do you think I'll get a positive? We've been DTD quite alot anyway as my pill is now out of my system and made me into a bit of a rabbit haha. Many thanks x

Hi everyone, I'm in the last few days of the 2 week wait and feeling a bit down. It's my due date next week and I really hoped I'd be pregnant again by now.
@peachesarenom while you are waiting for counselling to come through the Miscarriage Association have a number you can ring to talk to someone and get stuff off your chest. They aren't trained counsellors just really nice women who listen. I rang them up a few weeks after my mc when I was at a real low and found it useful just to rattle off everything to someone. The number is 01924 200799. Just in case that might be useful for you or anyone else feeling low.
Love to all.