TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 15 - Christmas miracles

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

New thread!

Good luck, @Flatwhite32, thinking of you and hoping xxx

Thinking of you flatwhite.
I have my hysteroscopy this afternoon. Am terrified but hopefully they can sort things and we can ttc again.

Hello everyone, I'm hoping I can join your thread for some support please.
I was 7 weeks pregnant Nov '16 when I had an ectopic rupture and sadly lost the baby, one tube and almost my life from internal bleeding. After not being allowed to try for 3 months it then took a further 9 months to finally get pregnant again. We were so excited and I should be 10 weeks now but last week went for a scan to be told there was no heartbeat. I've just had a second reassurance scan this morning and they've confirmed my baby stopped growing 2 weeks ago. I'm booked in for a ERPC tomorrow as I have had no bleeding or cramps whatsoever.
I just can't believe this has happened and feel it's so unfair. I just feel numb and can't stop crying. Sorry for my rant but it's so hard to talk to people who have not gone through the loss.
I'm so sorry for all of your losses and hope you get your bfp's soon. Good luck to those who have just gotten them or who are in their 2ww.

So bummed out this morning. Cd32 and a bfn. Is there a chance I ovulated late and could still get a bfp?

I'm so confused at the moment. I think I'm in my post-mc 2WW but my bf seems to have decided he no longer wants a baby. I of course want one more than ever. I have no idea where this leaves us as he doesn't seem to want to talk to me about it.

Hi all can I join please? TTC for DC2 after EP, MMC and DS, just miscarried naturally overnight last night at 6+6 after 2 inconclusive scans last week suggesting foetus stoping growing at 5 weeks. Bobo sending you big hugs, I know how you feel!!

Zoo so sorry to hear your news. In some ways it’s harder for guys as they don’t know how to express their feelings and perhaps he can’t face seeing you in pain again. DH was the same but has learnt with (too much) experience that a hug can convey a thousand words.

Thanks @Eastend2015 and welcome to the group (if you know what I mean - I'm sorry you find yourself here).

How did you approach it with your DH? I don't want to start throwing down ultimatums but I also don't want to cling to the hope that he'll change his mind (I'm 34 and feel like time is running out).

@Zoo33 I'm so sorry you are going through that on top of everything else! Thankfully my DH is not at that point but I do know he really struggles to talk about the diffuculties we've had. He often says everything is 'fine' when asked as that's how he deals with it. I said to him the other day that it hurt me when he blows it off as it seems like my feelings are being undermined. He explained that he wants to cry if be thinks/talks about it and he doesn't then know how to cope with all those feelings. I think men just bottle things up as they are trying to be the strong ones. Maybe if you say you understand that it's painful to ttc again for him but how important it is to you. Really tell him how you're feeling. It's a hard convo but good luck! I hope you guys sort it out.
@Eastend2015 thankyou! I'm so sorry you've had the same rubbish luck as me. I also thankfully have a lovely DS too. I'm sorry for your mc last night but I hope it's over for you now and you can start to try and move on.

Zoo not sure really, I just said to him that it would really help me feel more supported if he could open up a bit about how he felt. We also spent a fair bit of time bitching about other people who seem to fall pregnant without trying and he is good at the practical side- we did some investigations into a few underlying conditions I have and he was very good at asking the right questions through that and holding my hand throughout.

Bobo good luck for your ERPC tomorrow. I hope they allow your DP in with you? The procedure is quite quick and relatively pain free. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Life just isn’t fair is it? I’m sure all of us wanted to have our feet up on the sofa this Christmas feeling all smug. Oh well, at least there is alcohol!!

Miraculously, my scan went well. I'm measuring 8 weeks and there was a heartbeat. At work ATM but will post here later. Xx

Hooray flat, that’s brilliant news!

Thanks @Eastend. Yes the EGU at my hospital have been amazing and checked that DH would be coming to support me so they understand how important it is. I'm pretty scared so glad to hear it's pain free. My body just doesn't seem to want to give up on this little one so hopefully after tomorrow we can start to move on again. Yes slightly different Christmas than I was expecting but I will now be indulging in some champagne and cheese!
@Flatwhite congratulations!!!

Congratulations @Flatwhite32 ! So happy for you!!

@Zoo33 I'm so sorry- has he given a reason? I hope he comes round to talking 

@Boboelephant I'm so sorry for your loss x
I hope it goes as smoothly as it can.

I'm 9dpo and the insanity is starting. I need your help to not test till Friday (Thursday at the earliest). It would be stressful to be 6wks pregnant at Christmas but of course I keep hoping anyway.

We are getting blood results (progesterone, thyroid and the works ) on Wednesday at the GP, at the same time as DH SA results.

Great news flat white :)

It wasn’t totally pain free bobo, but more like a smear than anything and the procedure itself took around 15 mins. There was a bit of uncomfortable routeling around but you’ll probably be used to that with internal scans. Dreading these things make it a thousand times worse. It’ll be over soon then you can focus on healing and recovery. Sending you big hugs.

Really good news flat x

That's lovely news @Flatwhite32 , I'm sure that will also give lots of others hope when things aren't looking great. I've only just joined this thread but been reading back on quite a few posts to read peoples stories..

Yea @Eastend I've had 4 internal scans in the past 5 weeks so pretty used to them now. Thanks, to be honest it has all been crap but I'll be glad when tomorrow is over and we can focus, as you say, on healing and recovery. What was it like afterwards for you? Was there much bleeding? Did you get af again soon?
Thankyou @TheGrumpySquirrel. Good luck with your wait! Maybe ask DP to hide tests away?

So, I think we've decided to try just one more time (with a lot of doubts on my part. How the tables have turned from the time before). I am half-heartedly going into this with a lot of anxiety and a complete lack of care right now.

To top it off, work has rung me to see if I'll be in later as my sick note ends today. I feel like I want to just work a couple of days and ease myself in (and avoid all of the nosey questions). I've already had 2 weeks off though whilst I was just waiting to mc :/

Thanks @TheGrumpySquirrel He hasn't given any reasons which is why it feels harder - at least then I could try to understand how he feels. But he's making that impossible. All I can hope is that I've conceived this month as he knew the risks of unprotected sex, especially if the whole "more fertile after miscarriage" thing is true. Otherwise I don't know.

Welcome @Eastend2015, @Boboelephant. I'm so sorry to hear your sad news . You'll find some excellent support here. There's also a secret Facebook group if you would like to join, although there's absolutely no obligation to do so. Sending you both my love. I know exactly how you feel.

@Zoo33 I'm so sorry your DH said that. Did he say why? Could it be that he's struggling dealing with your loss?

@TheGrumpySquirrel It is so hard resisting to POAS! Got everything crossed for you! Good luck with the blood results.

@Kkk87 Thank you and welcome to the thread.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 do whatever you feel is right lovely. Could you get signed off at work until after Christmas? Xxx

Sorry meant to say thank you SO much everyone for your messages of support. The anxiety in pregnancy following MC is unreal. Next week we enter the point at which our little bean fell asleep, so I'll be worrying about that next!

@Flatwhite32 The silly sod hasn't told me anything. I'm going to try to pin him down on it tonight - I don't think it's unreasonable to ask why he's changed his mind?!