TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 15 - Christmas miracles

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

New thread!

I'm so sorry they couldn't get you a cancellation. It's impossible to even think about coming to terms with the loss while you're in limbo. Will be thinking of you on Friday. Xx

@UnicornsandRainbows1 I really feel for you having to wait so long. Have been thinking of you lots. Xx

I think this is going to be a chemical. I’m 14dpo but the test with fmu is lighter than the 12dpo one done mid afternoon. I’m sure my boobs feel less sore too. Whatever happens I’m not sure how I get through the next few weeks.

@Vox I really hope not. Keeping everything crossed for you.

Early detection tests don't come without their downsides, imo. The chance of having a chemical pregnancy is not insignificant. Personally I'd rather not know but the reality of not poas until after af is due is incredibly hard.

@voxnihili I really hope that isn't the case. We'll all be here for you whatever happens

Thinking of you vox I really hope it's not a CP

Unicorns i hope you make it till Friday. Did you have your last mc at home? Thinking of you

Keeping everything crossed for you @voxnihili that it's not a chemical. Whatever happens, we are here for you. Xx

@TheGrumpySquirrel I passed the baby at home but none of the sac so needed a d&c for that one too as it was incomplete and my body had stopped trying

Actually I'm genuinely worried that I'm not going to feel anything but numb if we have another pregnancy. God that sounds so ungrateful

@UnicornsandRainbows1 It doesn't sound ungrateful at all, especially given all you've been through. Xx

Unicorns - I understand that. I don’t feel excited at all. I don’t think it’s being ungrateful, just being terrified of feeling that pain again.

I was sure it wouldn’t be a CP as it was quite a strong line on the frer - didn’t even have to squint. It’s been the cheapies that I can barely see anything. I’m hoping they’re just unreliable.

Any advice on how to stop the boob poking? I’m hoping I’m just convincing myself they’re less painful. The horrible metal taste started yesterday and I still have it today. Yesterday I had cramps, they were very odd and also backache. Today I just have AF type pains.

I hate this. I feel stupid for worrying about our work Christmas party next week and how I’d get away with not drinking and no one noticing.

Vox don't compare cheapies to FRER lines! They are way less sensitive despite claiming to be 10miu or whatever. Best of luck.

Unicorns that's totally understandable after all you have been through. Massive hugs

So I've been having a think, and generally we weren't going to use ovulation tests this time round as it just causes more stress sometimes. But I want your opinions on using them after the surgery. I'm in two mindsets. It's be nice to see where I'm at and thst I'm slowly getting back to normal and can have a rough estimate at pinpointing the fw. On the other hand maybe it won't help at all anyway if it's not happeningquick enough.

@voxnihili my cheapie tests didn't get darker for ages. They are so unreliable(even my GP said that)! You're better sticking to more expensive tests to see line progression.

Unicorns I’m sure it would be reassuring for you to see a positive opk after the surgery but will you find it stressful if you don’t see one after a couple of weeks? I’m not sure of recovery time after a d&c.** I’m having a month off opks as I didn’t get a positive at all last cycle so trying to do without the stress of it this cycle.

Has anyone ever had any spotting after having a miscarriage? I’ve had 4 days of spotting after my period which is unusual for me.**

A bit late as think this was a question asked on the other thread, but I read somewhere that sometimes the pregnancy gets so far then fails, is because it doesn't need particular genetic material up to that point (I guess for parts of the baby which form later in the first few weeks) so it's only when it starts trying to build those things that it can't and fails. Not sure if that's true but makes sense.

Am now back in 2WW though clearly not sure if have actually bloody ovulated. This is 4th cycle post MMC though only 3rd cycle of trying post MMC as we missed the first cycle due to bleeding continuing.

Trying hard to be positive though at 39 it's bloody hard. Just so sick of the build up and then disappointment at a BFN or AF.

Meanwhile the world and his wife seem to be sailing through their pregnancies no bother (at least people I know personally anyway).

I feel like you @unicorns - I am finding it very hard to be happy for these people and I do hate how bitter the whole experience has made me

@Dandelion89 Possiblly, especially if it was all over the place, or it shows up positive but I don't actually ovulate for couple of months :/ what a head screw

@coastalchick Glad it's not just me feeling like a douchebag then!

In need of some hand holding please!

My history -
2010 mmc
2011dd
2015 ds
2016 mc at 13 weeks
2017 aug mc at 5 weeks

Currently 8 weeks pg and shitting myself. This will be my last pregnancy whatever the outcome.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 I had an ERPC (very similar to a D&C). I got positive OPKs and pregnancy tests for nearly 4 weeks afterwards, but that was due to leftover HCG . It is bloody difficult, but it's worth pregnancy testing a couple of weeks afterwards, as when that is negative, you know that any positive OPKs are 'genuine', rather than being positives due to leftover HCG. Sorry it sounds such a horrible thing to do, but for me it was the only way to differentiate between a positive OPK due to ovulation rather than leftover HCG.

@Dandelion89 I had lots of spotting after my periods following my ERPC. Had never had that until after the ERPC.

Thanks flatwhite32. I’m so frustrated with my body so I can’t imagine how some of the girls on here feel.

@Flatwhite32 You make a good point. I still have a very positive test with an IC so looks like I'll be waiting a while!

I remember taking a test the day before the 12 week scan, and feeling really reassured it was positive. Won't be falling into that trap again .

Tests are dumb. And the amount of hcg still about is also dumb. It's all just very stupid because I've decided so plus I think knowing it's still about makes it worse

I did a test this morning (mainly because I think I mucked up the one I did at the weekend - shows how often I POAS). I wasn't quite sure whether to laugh or cry, but I'm relieved at knowing if (when!!) I next get a BFP it'll be for a new pregnancy, and not more of a post miscarriage headfuck (not that that'll stop the worries). That's 5 weeks since the medical management and 10 days since the surgical, so @UnicornsandRainbows1 hopefully it'll reduce quickly for you. X