TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 15 - Christmas miracles

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

New thread!

Freaking out 😱, done test last night & this morning (dunno why i do this to myself!!), my test line last night is a good bit darker than this mornings 😢, please dont let this be sign of decreasing levels 😪😪

@di626 which tests are you using? Try not to worry, I think the lines can be variable in the early days. Wait a few days and then try a digital? It actually made me feel better than trying to analyse lines. Big hugs x

@Flatwhite32 mine passed away at 8+0 last time but I didn't find out till 9+6 so even if I have a "good" 8 week scan I'll be crapping myself. I'm hoping to hold out until 5+3 (Boxing Day) at least before I try another digital, not seeing 3+ yet would be stressful... and I don't want to ruin my Christmas! in the mean time I've no idea what's going on in there, and no point scanning till January.

@TheGrumpySquirrel thanks 😊. Its the frer rapid response not early detection .. i think last nights has just absorbed more as this mornings now is nearly same colour as it so maybe its just keeps getting darker of the hours - i hope!!! Must buy digital - wish i didnt have the urge as just makes me nervous doing them!! I also think my evening urine may be stronger than morning for some reason - trying to convince myself lol - hope you are well 💕

If it makes you feel any better my FRER at 14dpo was not significantly darker than the 12DPO one but I did get 2-3 on a digital. Fx for you x

@Flatwhite32 That was just me I wasn't sure if it was no bleeding nearer the 2 week mark or no bleeding in general before that. Either way it's done now so never mind

Hi all. Hope everyone is doing ok and sorry to the new people who’ve found themselves here. I’m now 5+6 (4 days further than I got last time). I was feeling more positive as my boobs have really started aching and I keep seeing two magpies (I know that sounds ridiculous but I remember last time I had a sense of impending doom and kept seeing single magpies) but today I’ve had cramping all day and am getting quite nervous.

The cramping has made me think the inevitable will happen again. DP only acknowledged the pregnancy yesterday, it’s taken him 2 weeks. He did give me a hug though when I said I was worried which is huge seeing as he doesn’t do emotions (outwardly anyway).

@voxnihili lovely to hear from you. I know every pregnancy is different, but I had cramps, bleeding and measured a week behind at 6 weeks. Cue massive panic stations, tears etc. Thankfully a repeat scan last Mon at 8 weeks showed an embryo with a heartbeat. Cramping is common in pregnancy, although I know it's alarming after a MC. It's so normal for us to think the inevitable will happen after all we've been through. I'm very anxious today as this is week 9 for me, and our last bean died at week 9 (although we didn't find out until week 12). It's natural for us to assume the worst, so don't feel bad feeling that way. When I went into the EPU, they said cramping in early pregnancy can be a very normal symptom, moreso if it is accompanied by no bleeding. We are here if you need to talk. Xx

@voxnihili aw the constant worry is horrible, right there with u 😔. Cant stop poas & adding to the anxiety & not darkening loke id like it too. Took a digi today & saying 1-2 weeks which is ok for min as would be 4 weeks tomo but panic setting in that it wont turn to 2-3 weeks 😪

@Flatwhite32 thank you. I'm hoping to see lots of BFPs and new babies

Hi All

Can I join. Think AF is starting and I can’t really face it on my own anymore. Had a miscarriage in March (just before DD’s first birthday) and have been trying since then. Beginning to lose hope now. Am in my late 30s and feel like I’ve used all my chances.

I know it’s different because I’ve got DD but I long for the one I lost.

Hi

Can I join please? Sorry to everyone who is in the same boat and congratulations to those who have got BFPs this month.

My mc started on Wednesday at 6.3 w and been scanned today. Scan confirmed that everything cleared so starting to think ahead to trying again. It took a while to get a BFP that I don't want to waste any time soon although the thought of actually being pregnant again is terrifying.

Hi everyone, would like to join, had my mc confirmed on Friday at 6+1. Want to try again right away, not sure when my af will be, I’m a bit clueless - the info the nurse at the early pregnancy unit says it could be anything from 2-6 weeks away. We shall see!

Trying to think positive about getting a bfp again but can imagine it will be scary in case it happens again.

Sorry to see so many new arrivals Sorry for your losses.

@AJ89, my first af was 5 weeks after my mc, I was impatient to try again too, sadly the first cycle wasn't to be, got fx for the next fw!

I am finding it increasingly hard as Christmas approaches. All those little things I thought I'd be doing to celebrate my pregnancy I'm now doing without; writing cards (no "& bump" to write after mine and DH's names), seeing my bro, SIL and DN for the first time since I got the bfp, planning Xmas Day outfit (no cute bump t-shirt - it's tucked away at the back of a drawer).

I honestly wonder how people cope. It's been over 5 weeks, I feel like I can't function properly still. Also, I'm in a frame of mind now where I want people to know (have just told very nearest and dearest so far) but I don't want to make an announcement, so I'm not sure how to let other friends/family know. I feel like I need their words of love right now, but I'm not sure how to ask for them. Help?

My happy message few days ago has just turned to despair, test this morning now saying not pregnant at 15ddpo. Havent told dear husband yet as he is peacefully sleeping 😪😪. So thats mc, mmc & now a chemical since April - what is wrong with me 😭, this whole thing is going to break me 😭😭

So sorry to hear that di626

I have just done a FRER (11dpo FMU) and at first glance there is no second line, but if I hold my phone flashlight behind it there’s defo something... of course that means I can’t take a picture 🙄

So I have no idea. I guess I wait til tomorrow and try the other FRER?!

@di626 I'm so sorry to hear this.

Oh @di626 I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending you lots of cyber hugs. There is nothing I can say but please know we're all thinking of you x
Welcome to all the newbies although I'm sorry you're here.
@NannyOggsKnickers I know how you feel and it's still so hard even with a DC. My DS is amazing and I'm so blessed to have him but I pine for my two lost angels and wish more than anything I could give him a sibling. 🤞 we both do soon.
I can totally relate @SoozC. I was due to be 12 weeks this Sat and was planning on a Christmas announcement. Had bought the big brother t-shirt which is also stuffed at the back of the drawer now. It feels really hard. I just did my first hpt after ERPC and it was heart breaking to see the second line and know that it doesn't mean I'm pregnant. 😢
I told my mum she could tell some of the family. Then they knew and have been supportive but without me having to tell everyone. That was helpful. I also texted a couple of friends. That seemed easier than speaking to them but their support has helped. It's awful to talk about it and part of me just wanted to deny it all, but I think at least for me it's been really necessary to start the healing.

@SantaBaby1 fingers crossed for tomorrow!

Welcome @AJ89 @NannyOggsKnickers and @hurrythefuckupgeorge. So sorry to hear your sad news. You'll find invaluable support here from very lovely ladies.

@SoozC I cried nearly every day for 2.5 months after my MMC. Christmas always intensifies grief. I wrote about my MMC 3 weeks later on Facebook. It was very cathartic and helped hugely, as the support I got was fantastic. However, I realise this isn't for everyone. Could you start off by telling one person, seeing how that goes then maybe telling a few others? It does help to talk. You know we are always here too. Xx

@di626 My heart is breaking reading that. I'm so so sorry my lovely.I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling. Do you have a nice GP who you can arrange an appointment with? Xxx

@Flatwhite32 she is nice enough but quite dismissive but ill be ringing this morning demanding they refer me for testing as there is something not right 😢

@di626 there aren't any words that are enough. I'm so sorry. Be kind to yourselves and know that we are always here for you xxx

Sorry to see so many new people here. :(

Christmas is a really hard time as none of it is how you imagined it being. I really thought we'd done enough this month but it wasn't to be. I'm trying hard not to get downhearted as it's not the worst time to be able to drink. Mentally I feel like seeing 2017 out and moving into 2018 will be so beneficial for me.

Glad you are going to ask them to refer you for tests @di626. Don't let anyone fob you off. The medical profession don't seem to take miscarriage that seriously, and it's so frustrating. Look after yourself lovely. X