Yams, fertile feckers and what not to say.

[LimpLettice]

Part the third:

Welcome all anti-fertile fuckers! This is our clique for those trying longer than 6 cycles and are pretty fed up.

Here are our Fucked Off TTC Commandments

• Thou shall not arrive one day and post BFP next day
• Thou shall not give advice to other when TTC for one month only
• Thou shall not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways
• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month
• Thou shall not be offended by strong language
• Thou shall not tell everyone to eat yams
• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

Our spreadsheet which includes what supplements (and potatoes) we are trying in our journey to motherhood.

Sorry, that was unnecessarily glum. What I mean is that I wish I could get my head to actually believe that it isn't going to happen each month, rather than keeping on thinking it just might this time...

Sorry @QuietTime I didn’t see your post when I posted before. I’m finding things hard but trying to keep my chin up which is easier said than done! How long have you been ttc for if you don’t mind me asking?

@Si1ver big hugs to you. I wish there was something I could say to bring you comfort. It’s hard to be reminded of the joy you felt when things are so awful now.

@lostintranslation I completely get what you mean. Waiting for my 7th failed cycle any day now. I don't know how the people who've been trying longer have coped! I feel like a tiny bit of me dies each time, like I'm even more of a failure.

lost - I don't know - I'm on the bleak "it's just never going to happen" side and it's pretty... bleak really. I wish I had some hope rather than deep down actually believing it won't happen. I guess I don't really get hugely upset most months when af comes, which could be a benefit, but instead I'm just constantly numb about it. Neither seems much fun.

justmeonly oh I totally get that. It must be awful to feel either way. I just wonder if I will start to feel like you do, or whether I'll be like this forever. Though as you say, neither is exactly desirable, so maybe it'll make no difference if I never reach the point of having given up hope. It'll just suck whatever :(

I'm 4 and a half years in, so you'd have thought I'd have given up hope by now really. I just can't seem to. And that's what hurts each month.

lost - agreed - it's all rubbish really. And at 4+ years you are doing very well to stay sane in my book xx

Hi everyone, welcome all newbies, hope your stay is short.

I’m reading the Izzy Judd book about her infertility struggles, I’m enjoying it, it’s very honest, I did shed a tear (floods) when she was describing her mc which happened at 6.4wks like mine. For those having/contemplating ivf she explains the procedures really well.

Desperate to POAS but trying to hold out until Monday/Tuesday 12/13dpo.

I felt like AF was arriving this morning when I woke up (even though I think she’d be early for me if she arrived today) but still no sign of her. No doubt she’s waiting for tomorrow when I have to give a presentation at work and I’ll just want to curl up in a ball with the pain.

Have a good weekend Yammers x

I’ve just read that book too RhiBee, it’s a nice read. I’m pleased I got it. Hope you get good news next week

Ugh. Had another friend just announce a pregnancy on Facebook. Her exact words “we did kind of want a baby but didn’t think it would happen this quickly” 😒 she’s been with her new partner for about 4 months. Why is life so fucking unfair? Yet another person to unfollow...

Thanks @Dandelion89 feeling quite positive this cycle not in a “defo upduffed” way more if I am great if I’m not that’s ok too, it’s weird, maybe trying for so long has made me indifferent?!

@Bubblegum89 mute her from your newsfeed. Hope your ok x

I really enjoyed Izzy's book too, think her story gives a bit of hope that maybe needing help the first time around doesn't necessarily mean that it won't happen naturally in the future... or am I being an optimistic twat?

Sounds like bullshit Bubble - I don't believe in such "accidental pregnancies"

So I'm a cynical optimistic twat... interesting development

FRER are on Amazon Black Friday 2x for £4.95

@florafoxtrot it does make you feel hopeful doesn’t it? Sometimes I wonder how any of us are here, it’s such a challenge to get pregnant and then carry a baby.

@Bubblegum89 hope you’re ok. I think I found a link to your. blog on another forum earlier, so good! I can identify with a lot of the things you talk about and have a chuckle at the same time.

@RhiBee29 that’s a really good attitude to have. Fingers crossed for you 

@RhiBee29 Thank you! I just nabbed a pack.

Thanks everyone. Unfollowed. That’s the seventh person I’ve unfollowed in the last few months. 6 of them were accidents pregnancies. Makes me feel shit especially as af is due in a few days. Sigh. Oh well.

Dandelion haha glad you had a read. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry, right??

Bubblegum, take heart. 👉❤️

You could easily have been a midwife working 3 nights a week. There's no blocking those babies popping out.

Levity? Anyone?

I'll see myself out then 🤦‍♀️

I don't know if this will help for all the long timers here. I'm a lurker here because your determination gives me hope as well. I have a chronic condition that currently means I cannot even think of ttc without risking my life. Even if baby is conceived atm, it risks having serious defects. Also, because of my thyroid levels, it means it very likely to end in a mc.

I come here to give myself hope that one day I'll begin ttc. That right now I should focus on trying to get better. Watching the lengths some of you have gone to (in a positive way), to achieve your goals (BFP) despite let downs - I truly admire.

It'll happen for you all. Wish you all well and BFPs.

@filzma that's so thoughtful, what a lvely thing to say (and has made me a bit teary) - I hope you get to start your TTC journey soon xx And levity is always appreciated :)

bubblegum ugh what a pain - muting seems sensible. I keep getting wound up by friends' (who are parents) 'finally some me-time' type posts - I know it's just normal but part of me feels like shouting 'you don't get to complain, you've got everything!'. Then I get a grip. Sort of.

dandelion good for you, can't imagine how hard it must be. Have been trying for a year, with no result, unfortunately. Done some initial tests which haven't shown up anything so waiting for GP appt to try to get a referral...so rusty guess am at a similar stage?

limp that sounds lush :) We do goose at Xmas & save the fat - goose fat toasties all year round! Apologies to any veggies...

Good luck dreamers hope AF stays away

Welcome to all the newbies! And to anyone lurking, please feel free to join in with our moaning and supporting. We're a friendly bunch and not cliquey

I'm off to see a friend today - and her baby he's over a year old and I've never seen him so I couldn't really put it off any longer.

Ladies
Firstly a big hug to you all - you're going through hell and I've been there myself. I wish I could wave a wand and say it's all going to work out fine down the end of the yellow brick road.....but I can't. All I can say is that sometimes, things happen (or in our case, don't happen) for a reason...and in my case it was eventually probably the best thing not to happen.

Secondly, I want to give you a slight warning. I am the original 'lostintranslation' but not the one and only! Whether someone has hijacked my user ID or whether (because I registered when Tweets were something done by the blackbird in my garden) Mumsnet has allowed duplicate user names I'm not sure. It's under investigation now and I'm sure 'lost' 2.0 will back on this thread in a jiffy.

Good luck to you all. I know your pain and it sucks. A huge hug and merry Christmas to every one of you. Just because you haven't conceived doesn't diminish who you are as a person. It just makes you more....human x

Hi @lostintranslation, the other user on this thread is @lostintranslocation so not an exact match. Unless you meant a different user?

Sorry! I should have realised that people would possibly misread my name. I've not hacked anything, I promise! Sorry to @lostintranslation for the confusion caused!

Morning ladies, how is everyone? It’s bloody freezing. Af is due either tomorrow or Tuesday (two apps telling me two different things!) so I’ve got that to look forward to. With this being my 12th month, it seems that my body thought it would mark the occasion by making my boobs the sorest they have ever been for the whole year.

Off to my nephew’s birthday party today, he was 1 on Thursday. He is the most gorgeous little boy but my god, sometimes when we babysit him at night (we’re the only auntie and uncle who are allowed to babysit, presumably because we are amazing) I find myself wondering if I really want a baby lol I have never heard a child scream and make the noises that he does, it’s like something off a horror movie 😂 I’m also organising my sister’s baby shower. Can’t wait to be surrounded by people all gushing over her bump and bringing cute little clothes and things while my poor barren self sulks in a corner eating sausage rolls. The things we do to ourselves hey!

Anyone else due af in the next few days?