STILL TTC your first baby

[nomoremagnolia]

Thought someone better start a new thread as we're getting close to the 1000 mark!
Ready - what's your question?

gillydaffodil.........its a mare being surrounded by buggies.anyway,bugaboos are over rated!(have driven a few- naff!

I'm a nanny and its so hard not thinknig about ttc every minute because im surrounded by yummy mummys, babies, new little cute gorgeous babies, pregnant ladies who look fab, oh and a million zillion children, childcare books and....................am constantly on the phone to new mummys who want advice about their newbies and i want to say 'shhhhhhhh! I'm ttc here, i want to not think about it!'

TBH they are a waste of wedge.

Ever thought that some of those buggy pushers are nannies?! not that we look anythin like yummy mummys.

you can always tell a nanny. Jeans, t-shirt stained with paint. Bad fingernails. no make-up.

hey- thats me! I wonder if something magical happens when you get pregnasnt and you turn into some kind of victorai beckham...eurgggghhh no thanks!

So what pushchair/pram can you recommend fi? We had a long discussion on the previous ttc no1 thread about loads of them, but none of us had real life experience so it was all just theoretical (well it's all theorertical til we have our babies anyway, but you know what I mean!) Be warned though - we might start picking your brain about all sorts of baby paraphernalia...

Wow, you have been so busy getting chatty .....is there still room for me?

Its lovely to have so many people here at the mo, both old and new ...

If you are lurking Ready then hope you are OK and coming back to us soon!

Only time for a quickie today, so I'll add myself on. Gilly, I'm glad you'rearound as I am beginning to feel geriatric..

i - 32yrs married 18months, came off the pill 1st june, new to all of this but not to children (have been a nursery nurse for 14 years, working as a nursery nurse in a hospital, a nursery supervisor, and as a nanny))

nomore - age 29, married 5 years, ttc 18 months currently undergoing inital fertility tests before being referred (dh has v. low % of properly formed o~ so will need assisted conception of some sort, waiting on my results before we can proceed) next blood test on 21/6

Toomuch - Age 27 - started TTC June 07 - just coming of the pill now so waiting to see what will happen.

Treenie - age 27. Married nearly 2 years. Came off the pill last week so now on cd 7 (if counting from first day of af, which I think is what I'm meant to do) Waiting till after next af to start trying.

Graysongirl, TTC: 1 year this month, waiting for my first blood tests and DH SA tests. I am 30 and DH is 34 (My first blood test (21 day)is on Mon 18th June)

pinkmartini - age 29. Dh is 32 and we've been together nearly ten years.
Been TTC really since March/April 07 but not temping or checking CM (ew) but do use Persona so I know roughly when OV.

Gillydaffodil age 33 (DH 32); married for 9 ½ years (yes really!). TTC since Jan 06. BFP in Sept but MC in Oct . Trying again since Jan 07.

Kensgirl - age 32, dh also 32, married 10 months together about 9 years. BFP in Oct 06, mc with phmp in Dec o7.Not officially had the all clear to ttc yet, but doing so since feb 07. Nursery teacher and grapefruit juice junkie.

Of course there is room for you Kensgirl! We need all the experience and wisdom we can get here! It is lovely that everyone's chatting isn't it?
I suppose people will drop in and out but it's nice to know there is a constant support here for anyone who needs it.
x

Yes Ready (I know you like bold!) come back!!

ready we know you're lurking!Hope it's all good with you.

Having a bit of a pants day today. Have had too much to do and not really done enough, too much MN and not enough work.

Hi everyone! Kensgirl - were you not already on our list?

Loving this thread by the way - I'm addicted now!

Bugaboos look quite cool - but they are crazy expensive aren't they.. can't wait for a BFP so that I can start buggy shopping!

Fi - you have the best and worst of it don't you - all that experience but all those babies to remind you of TTC!

Lets have another question... hmmm ... how about.. How does eveyone get on with their MIL? and do you think it will change once you have a baby?

PM/Bella - I don't think Ready is lurking, I think she was going to be away somewhere for a few weeks. I miss her too, funny to miss someone I've never met but I do!
I am very lucky in that I get on really well with my MIL (and my FIL too for that matter) When DH and I got engaged, FIL said that if they'd had a daughter they'd want her to be like me. Both are quite literally second parents to me. I think our relationship will only get stronger when we manage to give them grandchildren. My MIL is also in the know about us ttc and very supportive of us, I can talk to her about all of it and she's great! I'm VERY lucky!

Ooh good question!
Generally get on very well. DH's family very differnet to mine. She's very but she lives a fair way away. She's is v hands on with my DNs so imagine she would be with us.
As for buggies and things, I can't even imagine that! I must say when I feel broody, I don't think about the stuff involved - more the life changes. [pensive emoticon]

Can't wait to "meet" Ready!!

PM - is hands on good for you or bad?

Nomore - sounds like you have a lovely relationship with you MIL - I've very jealous!

I don't really get on with my MIL and she's never really liked me. I'm worried that once I have a baby she'll expect to be involved the way a normal MIL would but we don't have a normal relationship so not sure how it will work

I don't know nomore - I think motherhood is gonna be really scary and bloody hard work so I think I can do with all the help I can get!

She's hands on in her house but not been to stay with SIL or anything. SIL and DNs do spend quite a lot at my PILs though and they've child proofed their house etc.

My DM is quite good with the DNs I have on that side but my sister is q independent and my parents go away a lot so don't help my sister out so much.

Neither set of grandparents round the corner though

PM - I agree - reckon I'll need lots of help - just not sure MIL is the one to give it!

We're pretty much on our own too - live miles away from family - all very scary!

arghhh it all moves too fast!! 4 days and i am lost!

I'm off to read the posts

Welcome back woodmouse-how were your shoes?

MIL- i get on with mine really well and DIL even better.

My Dh's family are all a bit posh, and when i first met them they were all a bit offish, i just played at being me (im actually a bit over the top, loud at times, and can be completely annoying!)

i have a tatoo(ooooooooooooooh!) bleached blonde cropped hair and a nose stud! Can you imagine what was going on through their minds?!

anyawy, 7 years on, im known as mad/ cool aunty fi by their children (DH has 4 sisters!)

and i call MIL affectionate, yet cheeky names.

My DH describes me as a hurricane that hit the family so hard they couldnt do anything else other than love me! I hug my MIL and my DIL every time i see them ,and often go out on 'girly' shops/beauty days with my MIL, and she is 15 years older than my own darling mummy dear.

there!

xx

Sounds fab Fi!

Hello ladies
my MIL is also a wee gem, as is FIL but they live very, very far away so we only see them for two weeks twice a year. This really works is some ways cause there is never pressure to go to their's for dinner on a Sunday, but also can be a bit intense and unnatural cause when we are togther we are really togther - dinners every night etc. Also feel so so for poor dh cause he misses them and the rest of his family like mad. SIL is due to have her baby today and I know he wishes we could be there, even though he is happy to live in London.
My folks are also an hour away by plane so it's just the two of us apart from my sis.
I do really miss having family ten mins away though. What I wouldn't give to be able to just pop round to my mums for a cupa. Still I guess we are the ones who decided to move here so it's our own fault.
And to anyone who has a mean MIL I would say remember you have the upper hand. If she wants to see her grandchildren and be part of all your lives she'll have to buck up! Wouldn't stand for any of that nonsense! Especially when you are all clearly lovely and perfectly likeable!

hi treenie!

my parents live 5 hours away and dh's live 4 hrs away. We both miss our folks, but we too decided to move to london (work) so theres not much we can do, other than move back, and work wise, it wont work!

I worry about if i am succesful on my ttc mission, that i will be a bit lonely on the parent front. My friends seem to rely heavily on their parents.

i know what you mean Fi. I worry too because I remember my grandparents being around all the time when I was little and how fun it was. I also worry how I will cope in the first couple of weeks. I know my mum would come down but I can't ask her to stay for a month - not fair. Thinking of hiring a maternity nurse instead for a month. Have a few friends with no family around who have done this and it's worked really well. Does anyone have an opionion on this? What do you think Fi being a pro?
x

if you get a maternity nurse pleeeeeeeeeease go theough me when the times comes. Ive heard quite a few horror stories about unqualified nannies posing as maternity nurses (the money is unbelievably high pay)

Msome MNs are very expensive, over rated and a bit too pushy.

(These are the ones that wake you in the middle of the night for you to feed baby, and try to get you into a routine too early.)

Im sure your mum would be delighted to come and stay, Im going to have my mum come and help out, its what family is all about.

oioops-counting chickens, my mum would smack me for tempting fate.

If you do decide to go down the MN route, i know some great ones that dont bite your head off for cuddling baby too much!

Thanks Fi that is really kind and sweet of you to offer your help - so appreciate it. If you want any tips on maternity clothes then I am your gal as have scoured the internet! Not as useful I know but hey!
I will CAT you when the time comes - if it ever does. We are such chicken counters aren't we?!
I adore my mother but I think it might actually be easier to deal with a stanger on some levels - ie being able to say no to them or disagree with out feeling you are treading on toes. Believe me no one will boss me about - am quite a strong character!
I'm not at all freaked out about being preggers or the birth - of course all may plans my not work out but I'll deal with it. What freaks me out the most is how to deal with a tiny little baby when I get home. How to get them into a routine, get them to sleep etc.
As you can prob guess I am a real organiser and can't bare the thought of life being completely turned upside down. I know it will be for a while, but I have mates who didn't have a clue what they were doing, went about things the wrong way and their babies are still up in the night all the time at a year old.
I don't know if these are really bad fears to admit to and that worrying about my (and my dh's) lifestyle and sleep makes me a bad mother in the making, but I reckon it's OK to air these fears here - if you can't do it here where can you?!
So anyway, that's why I thought it would be good to get a nurse and get some kind of order into things asap.
Does anyone else feel this way?
x