STILL TTC your first baby

[nomoremagnolia]

Thought someone better start a new thread as we're getting close to the 1000 mark!
Ready - what's your question?

Oh so much to catch up....where do I start?! . Just wanted to pop in and see how you all are - hope you're all bouncy and well. Things are good my end and just had my 8wks scan, I shan't rattle on about it as I know how insensitive it will sound. But lots and lots of luck to you all

Lovely news pink elephant. I'm really glad things are so good for you . Did you see the hb?

Woodmouse I am so with you on the shoe fetish thing. Have such a bad habit that I find myself saying my dh 'what these old things?! you've seen these a million times' because I feel so guilty telling him I have bought yet another pair of pumps. I am the queen of flat shoes as quite tall.
And as for the maternity clothes - I'm actually quite worried that I'll be a bad mother because I am so much more interested in clothes for me than cute baby stuff. Am really hoping my family go crazy with that - as I know they will - because I'll have spent all my cash on designer jeans. Have a jeans fetish too so much so that I've done a ring around of various shops in London (where I live) to find out if there is a waiting list for certain styles (one website mentioned that there can be) and should I be on it?! Am not even bloomin preggers yet!
So now you all know I am a fashion obbsessed nutcase. Don't you love that you can show your true colours on here because no one knows who you are!
off to bake birthday cake for dh to remind him I am a domestic godess and very much worth worshiping!
Also have friend with three month old coming for tea at 3pm. Can't wait to see them both. Think I might tell her about the TTCing - or should I keep it up my sleeve for now? Any thoughts?

Pink Martini I know nothing about sympton spotting other than the times over the years when I have been convinced I've been pregnant and not wanted to be. Was wrong and just paranoid every time. God knows what I will be like now when I do want one!
All have a lovely day and a great weeked.
x

We're not telling anyone Treenie - however, I think it's a personal choice. I just don't want people to keep asking me how things are going if it takes a long time.

I'm with on that one toomuch. Not telling anyone though I think most people know we want a family and one of the reasons I started working from home was to build up my business before I got preggers - haven't really been trying until around end of march ish.

Treenie - another Londoner are you N,E, S or W? Do you work from home too?

I very much object to paying lots of money for jeans particularly as most of the socalled amazing ones give me muffin-top. I stick to Gap, LTS (I'm tall too) and Hula from New Look - £12 a pair - how good is that?

I have seen a machine in Selfridge's which takes measurements of your body and then fits your precisely. BUt I'm sure it's the best part of £200 and I'd rather have 4 everyday pairs than one pair I'd be afraid to wear! Or worse get addicted to only have the £200 kind!!

Hope you're all well - and PinkElephant don't worry about coming back - glad it's all going well.

I wish the sun would come out.
Must get on with work. MN is such a distraction! LOL

Kensgirl - yes we saw the heartbeat flickering on the screen...it was magical. Baby is 2cm in size which is fab!! It's been a rollor coaster of a year of TTC but I think we are finally here. I'm always a bit scared before the scans, as I think when you've already had it go wrong once you sadly have the element of doubt. Good luck to you x

Pinkmartini - thank you x

Treenie, we spoke ages ago on a similar thread to this when we were both thinking about TTC. I am SO heartened to know that someone else has been dithering about when to start trying or not - I certainly have!! I definitely want to at some point but am still not sure WHEN is the right time. We have had unprotected sex for the last few months but have not been actively TTC. I have had a few times when I thought I would get a BFP and was literally terrified, thinking what have I donem it's way too soon?! Work is going very well at the moment and I'm just not sure that I'm ready to give up that and my social life at the moment. Incidentally, I also live in London and work in the City and I'm sure I feel less inclination because people here seem to settle down much later than outside London. Only one or two of my friends have children and it just looks impossibly hard to manage it all. At the moment I'm trying to relax about it and think, if it happens, it's meant to be although I think if I did get a BFN I would have a heart attack! Having said that, the most I would push it back would be by 6 months which can't really make that much of a difference, can it? I just keep seeing it as the end of fun and the end of life as you know it!

Hi Gangle. We were the same - we weren't sure when the right time would be. I also work in the city and the opinion definitely seems to be that you're mad if you want to have kids before you're at least 35 - 40 (I'm 27). Me and DH decided last year that we would try this summer and that has given us a good few months to get used to the idea and plan and now we are really excited about it!! I don't think there is ever a perfect time. In terms of my career and money I should really wait another few years but I feel ready to have babies now so we're going to give it a go - you never know it could take me a couple of years to get pregnant!

Toomuch I am so with you on the 'you must be a freak if you want a baby before 30' mindset. I don't work in the city (am in the media) but I agree that the pressure is a London overall - I live here too - not sure if I mentioned that already. Like you we talked about it for about a year running up so I do feel prepared - sort of.
Gangle I know what you mean about end of life as we know it. Had dh's b'day party on Friday night and really hit me that the dynamic of the group has changed. All have kids or are having them. Dh is five years older than me so all his pals are at the baby stage bar a few who are a bit odd - no becuase they don't have kids, but just because they are. His best pal has a horrendous girlfriend who doesn't want children - again don't dislike her for not wanting kids, but for every other imaginable reason!
Anyway, while I was happy to stay up till 3pm, drink champers and dance around the living room most of them wanted to go home at midnight. So I am kind of accepting my days of kareoke in the wee small hours are over!
Thankfully my mate who has a baby but wasn't at the party came round yesterday and told me that is not how life has to be at all. When you are preggers and just after you have your sprog you will need to cut out the booze/socialising etc, but a few months in you can have a really good time again. Not clubbing etc but lovely dinner parties and BBQs where babies go to be and grown ups have fun.
So thankful for my lovely mate who puts things in perspective for me. 'I'm a mum but I'm still the same old me' she said 'I don't have to be a t-total saint to be a good mother either.'

Which brings me on to my next point Toomuch. Saw your recent post about on another thread about being worried about people on hols knowing you are trying because you aren't drinking.
I feel exactly the same way. I am no alchy but all my pals know I love a wee glass of vino over dinner when I'm out (never really drink during the week or at home unless we have people round) so I'm faced with the same thing. Especially since we are getting the 'so when are you two going to pop one out' chat all the time.
My advice is spritzers with lots of ice. This is where your dh can come in mega handy. Make sure he is the one sorting out drinks and don't make a big thing of it. Then you are drinking a tiny bit of wine with lots of water - and sip it slowly. Have a bottle of fizzy water on the table so you can sneakly top yourself up.
Same goes for shandies with lemonaid.
My word what a waffel that was!
Am off to do some work!
x

Hello everyone, hope you are feeling fab on this lovely Monday.
Woodmouse LOL at your shoe story and a bit of an addict myself.
Big congrats to you Bella, thats briliant news and seaside, thanks for your post, it really cheers me up to hear stories like yours x x
Welcome to newbies, am still quite new myself but also don't post very often so really sorry if I've missed anyone out!
Well went to docs last week and saw a locum, it was so easy and got a referral to clinic striaghtaway! I have got my first blood test on 18th June and DH waiting for a letter for his SA appointment. CD16 today so still going for it this week and hoping that the clinic appointment won't be needed. Our marvellous new king size bed was delivered on Saturday and we now have a sexy boudoir type bedroom to get busy in!!! Hoping that will do the trick!!!

Hope you are all doing ok and staying cheerful x x x

hi all!

Ive been a bit of a busy gal- went to lithaunia for a wedding and now have a broken toe, bruises and a bad ear infection! Grrrrrhhh!

was great fun though.

In the baby making department...wow. How great is coming off the pill for your sex life!?

its great! Dh is like james bond! ha haha!

thanks for all of your words of welcome ladies!

xx

Fifilou tell me about it! I'm so glad to hear it's not just me who has had a surge in the sex drive department! Had a pretty active sex life anyway, but now can't get enough of him! Why is this?! Is this our baby making instincts kicking in? He had to tell me he was too tired last night! Sorry too much information but that is not the norm in our house - my husband is never too tired - poor thing I think I wore him out! Can't not believe I just said that!

treenie that made me titter!

yes i think its the baby making instincts! or it could be coming off the pill?

aparantly the pill kills your libido (it did mine), so my dh is over the moon now, he thinks its great and wonders why we didnt try earlier!!!!

how saucy!

Ha Ha - lol at your increased libido stories!! I only have a few more pills to take and then I'm expecting to feel like sexed up machine after your posts!! How long did it take for the effect to kick in? I'm a bit worried that once you officialy begin TTC that your DH will think that you're only pouncing on him because you want a baby.. have any of you found that? Is it hard to keep the romance side of BDing?

Treenie - on boozing - I'm the same! I really don't want everyone knowing and at the moment people are constantly asking me - which is annoying enough! Good idea re spritzer - I hadn't thought of that!

London is crazy for making you feel bad for wanting kids young (not that I'm even that young!) - I'm sick of all the comments about how I'll be throwing my career away and how I have plenty of time...

You will not be throwing your career away at all. My plan is to have one by 28, second by 31 - which of course will happen in this perfect world eh?! But lets say it does go to plan. That will mean I'll have two at school by the time I am 36 - so I'll be back at work full time - or at least during school hours. Now, I don't think that is throwing it all away do you? But apparently quite a few of my single, childless mid-30 something colleagues/friends etc do. Wonder why eh?
You do what is right for you. Nice that we are both the same age Toomuch cause I know exactly how you feel. As you get older your fertiltiy will decrease and you'll have less energy to run around after your little nipper. So sorry if that offends any older ladies on here, but I think it is just fact really. And actually 27 is not that young anyway which my dh (who is now 32) keeps reminding me! We are hardly 18 any more.
Re the libedo. I came off the pill a week past on Sunday - so it really is that quick!
Not worrying about dh thinking I'm just using him as a sperm donor cause we aren't looking at trying in that way - just going to have fun and see what happens. I'm sure our attitude will change if nothing happens in six months but for now we are finding it all quite sexy and sensual if that doesn't sound to creepy and weird?! Nice to think there is nothing (like pill or condoms) in between us. (she says feeling sickened by her own cheesy chat!)

Back in the office so able to post with working machine as none working at home...

I must confess that I was getting more sex when on the pill than I am now - down to dh not being particularly keen at the moment due to ds costing an arm and a leg esp in terms of Maternity Leave - only standard. Feeling very envious

Treenie - hope it does go to plan - my plan was one by 31 and then see what happens. Actually got one by 36 in the end - not very good at keeping to timescales.

In terms of telling people / drinking etc I am very glad that I didn't say that we were trying - particularly as it ended up taking so long - it would just have added to the pressure. It was bad enough people asking 'are you planning a family' etc

Family names - ds is named after his ggf (paternal), his 2nd name is the same as ds, my father and gf 1st names, his 3rd is an unusual family name.... Girls names would have been more of a problem.

Shoes - sorry, can't join the shoe group, although this is only as I stop myself buying them - just wait until you start buying small ones!

Kensgirl - all the best for the 1st July - not a good aniversary - but you're officially allowed after that date - I had to wait a further year on after that, so it could be worse.

out of the office tomorrow, but will try to drop in later in the week!

Treenie - our plans sound quite similar - I'd like one by 28 and then the second asap after that! DH and I are intending on doing the same as you guys - i.e. just having lots of nice unprotected sex and seeing what happens. Unfortunately I can see how ovulation tests and temperature charts and things like that could become quite appealing.. and I'm worried that I'm going to become obsessed! I'm already gagging to know how long it is going to take me to ovulate from my withdrawal bleed next week - trying really hard to resist!

Can't wait for the boost in libido

I'm just ignoring people talking about me being too young etc.. I reckon they'll have to shut their mouths once I'm with bump

thanks graysongirl!

Actually Toomuch the ovulation tests aren't a bad thing. I came off the pill at Christmas and used them for a while cause we thought we were going to start in June and then I we put it back so I went back on the pill in May.
I think do use them because they will reasure you that your body is doing what it should and increase your chances of getting it right. But I would say don't be ruled by temping. Did it one month and found it to be a total faff.
First month off pill the last time I ovulated at 34 days then 32 days there after so don't expect to be back to 28 days straight away - not sure if I ever will - but don't worry about that. Just means a few more days to have to wait before you can test.
I used the clear blue ov tests and they worked for me - you'd think I'd won the bloomin lottery I was so excited when the first line appeared that first month! Start using them about day 11 I would say for this first month (since you don't know how long your cycle is and keep using till you get a positive result. Can't wait to hear all about it!
x

OK can I ask a question - what are we all getting (forcing!) dh/dp to do to enhance sperm? Any interesting tips? I am shoveling vits down his throat, asking him to cut down loads on the booze - he's no alchy but you know what I mean - and feeding him as healthy and organic a diet as poss. But any specifics - bhahdy bhla is good for whatever.
Hope that makes sense?!
x

Selenium - feed him a brazil nut or two a day!

Earlier re twins - can't imagine. One is bad enough - mind you, neighbour had twins after trying for 2 months or so - in the family, but want a large family anyway, so off to a good start... they've delayed trying for the next one immediately though!

Someone was telling me zinc is good for sperm.. but DH hates taking supplements so need to investigate natural sources. I've tried to get him to cut down on the booze but other than that he's fairly healthy so haven't really changed anything.

I was just reading another thread on losing the baby weight and getting your figure back - which scared me! I always thought I'd try and make sure I had a 6 pack by the time I had kids but (obviously) that hasn't happened.. I'm not in great shape now so reckon I'm probably giving way to being a jelly belly for life once I get pregnant! Has anyone else made a big effort to be really fit before TTC?

ive made the effort to be fitter than i was......i ran the london marasthon this year, and still do a little running now and again, but not as much when i was training.

I had been a veggie for 7 years and am now eating meat again as im rubbish at remembering to take my vits. At least if im eating meat i know im getting my proper vits/mins etc.

I have a jelly belly and have done for about 18months. Running didnt shift it and im too lazy to do thousands of sit ups. However, im a size ten so am not going to punish myself foe having a belly. Besides.who wants to be a size zero anyway..we are women and thats what we should look like! WOMEN not boys!

Yay!

Bring on the baby belly i say!

Blimey, fifilou - at ability to run the marathon - I am screamingly unfit.

Just checking in quickly - bit busy this week - but saw my mum yesterday and she said I was looking q big [anger] but slightly [hopeful] that this is a symptom of somehting else.

Was also sick inexplicably today and am very very tired. But I am also CD19 so perhaps counting my chickens just a leetle teeny bit. Doubtless AF will be along next week anyway and I will look like a complete fool.

Hope you're all okay - as for zinc, only thing I know is oysters - if you can get your dp to eat those, why not?! Hope to post a bit more later in the week.

Hello all, blimey it?s busy on here!

So things in the nomore house are pretty much the same as ever, week 2 here (see I?ve even stopped counting the days) so time to get jiggy. Going through all the questions since I was last on here we go:

Family names ? it?s tradition in dh?s family to use our parents names as middle names for the kids (so their grandparents? names) but we have free choice on first names. Ever sine dh and I met (well a few weeks after we met and we?d started talked about getting married/having kids ? yes it was that soon!!) we have both liked a certain name for a daughter. I won?t say what that name is, but unfortunately it has become very popular since 2000 (when we both agreed on it) so it might not get used now. We have also pretty much agreed on a boy?s name we like too but there are a couple of options there. Have also worked out combinations of names eg ds1/ds2, ds/dd, dd1/dd2, dd/ds so that brother/sister names go well together too. (can you tell this baby malarkey has been a long time in the planning?)

Twins ? well if we end up doing IVF (which is looking likely) then twins is definitely an issue, as is the issue of the fertilized eggs that are not re-implanted. This is a big ethical issue we are trying to work through at the moment. Identical twins are in my family, but it is non-identical twins that is hereditary.

Toomuch ? don?t go for the 6-pack before ttc ? when you get pg your abdominal muscles (the ones you have spent ages building up) tear apart (ouch!) to make room for the baby, so the more developed the muscles are the harder it is for your body to make room for the baby. I was told to do some sit ups as part of my general toning but not go all out on them because of this. I do 100 twice a week now.

pinkelephant ? great news about the scan ? please feel that you can tell us all, we?re not we?re for you as you?re one of us (and we need to know!) Same goes for you, bella! Pinkmartini ? maybe keeping your pink name has brought you some luck? Following in pinkelephant?s footsteps...

Hello everyone else

Better shut up now, this has become quite an epic!