STILL TTC your first baby

[nomoremagnolia]

Thought someone better start a new thread as we're getting close to the 1000 mark!
Ready - what's your question?

WellI love my dh too, but if it was a choice between him and the cats....
The thing that always gets me is seeing men with their kids and I want to give dh that. (I also want to give our parents a grandchild, as I know they will all be fab grandparents)
I like kids when they have personalities (from 6 months-ish) but am not a 'baby' person iykwim.

Mistlethrush and Kensgirl - you are not on the wrong thread. We are really glad to have you both

Treenie - Welcome to the thread!!! Don't worry about lurking and not posting. We've all been there to start with until your confidence lets you post. You sound exactly like me. One minute I'm all clucky and broody, the next minute I panic and see myself as a harrassed Lynette Scarvo and get cold feet. I worried that I'll never be me again and (unfairly) that DH will never lift a finger to help, that I'll lose my own identity. But then you read the posts on MN about mums and their children and everyone is SO positive!

I think that my occasional lack of confidence about TTC#1 is caused by a lack of DC's in the Woodmouse household - neither DH or I have nieces and nephews or young cousins, no family close by and very few of our friends have children (although everyone seems to be PG!!). Maybe I should "adopt" some for the weekend!
Do you feel like this because you've got a strong career? I know that Gangle felt like you and she might pop into the thread.

hello Pinkmartini and Bella and everyone else.

Gilly - any more news on finding a place to stay in London?

hello to anyone I have missed

Mistlethrush, at the thought of you following me! Was it you standing next to me in the takeaway a few minutes ago....?

Treenie, I know hat you mean about a new wardrobe. I keep seeing gorgeous clothes tht are not really maternity but would work well, just hope I get pg soon to go on a spending spree

Nomore, you are making me feel very earth mother is, and I'm really not! Even though you re exactly on my wave lenghth - I love my little pooch, furry faced baby . Hes definately more house trained than dh anyway... Can't wait to see dh with our baby though, theres something about a man holding a baby, defo.

Hi Woodmouse! I'm quite a lot younger than my sister and brother so my 1st niece was born when I was 8 and so have always been around small babies and children, seems like an extension of me somehow. Oh, there was another mini attack of earthmotheritis...

Woodmouse it's funny that you should mention gangle. A while back there was thread about when the right time to have a baby was and we were chatting on that. I posted because I was in my 'now is the perfect time' mood which then changed again because of work and just general panic. We decided we'd wait up to a year, but two months on we both really feel we don't want to. Too easy to put it off over and over again and my dh is so keen bless him. He is so happy to listen to me waffle on about birth options and have a selection of vits shove down this throat every morning - the only thing he did say was that he really hoped I didn't postpone it again because he was so excited.
I do have a strong career but I can easily work from home and will go back to it at about six months part time becuase I love it. So that's not really the issue.
It's more the general lifestyle change. Never again will I be just me. I don't think my own mother has managed it 27 years on from having me, Once you are a mum you can never go back and I suppose I sometimes wonder if one more year of being on our tod - being selfish etc - would be a good thing, but then you can go on like that forever - or until it's too late.
And look on your lack of kids being around as a good thing. Other people's kids may put you off. Have a couple of mates with really annoying children and I have to reasure myself that surely I will not bring something like that into the world every time I see them! God you must think I'm so mean but it's true! Spending time with them is the best form of contraception!

Treenie - I always knew I'd come back to work as I enjoy it - as well as it being a financial necessity (ie, if we want to live in the house we want to, I need to have a good job too). Lucky as work flexible and accommodating and work part-time very happily. Although going to work is a real rest from being a mother - I have great respect for ftmums - it would drive me spare! I also thought that I'd manage to do some work 'when the baby is asleep' - fat chance! Ds decided that the only possible place to sleep during the day was in my arms or in the buggy going along - putting him down when asleep was not an option.

We left it nearly a year after getting married before sttc - if we'd known then a) what it was going to take to get to having ds and b) how long it was going to take, I think we might have started on our first date! Unlike b-i-l who, with relatively long-term gf announced at Xmas that baby on way as 'got the counting wrong' (typical musician) and announced wedding at Easter in the following February.... I suppose the point of that is that you can never tell how long its going to take (or if it is even going to happen) - we were effectively at a last ditch attempt when ds arrived - and had agreed that we'd go down the adoption route if any further problems occured (luckily they didn't).

Never more being 'just you' - no, I'm now 'mummy', even when I'm having time away - and its fantastic. Hope that many of you will be there too soon!

Hello?

I was just invited to come along.........knock knock?

Hi fifilou - welcome.
So much to catch up on since I last posted.

Gilly - how funny, I am heading North East this weekend. Not sure where the heat of London has gone, but hope the north isn't too chilly because I have got a chiffon-y dress for this wedding I'm going to (and NO shoes. Arghh! Panic dash for late night shopping on Oxford Street ahoy!)

Welcome Fifilou! Who recommended us - a fine collection of novices. Everyone is lovely on the thread.

Hello - I'm fairly new to MN too.. I have 10 pills left to take and then I will be launching into TTC my first - can I join?

I've been lurking for months and feel like I already know you all.. which is strange - but would love to join you

Hello to Fifilou and Toomuchtimeonline! This is a lovely place to lurk - lovely to have you both!

Thanks Kensgirl!

I loved your post yesterday about how you felt when you first started TTC and how you really really wanted it but at the same time felt nervous about changing who you were - I could have written that myself!

It's like jumping of a cliff when you make the decision to TTC..

Thanks, Toomuch, I thing I'm still freefalling from my jump..... This has been quite a lucky thread for all us first timers recently, so heres hoping it continues! If it helps any, my periods were back to normal within the month after taling Cilest for about 8 or 9 years, its only ben up the walll since mc, but hopefully they are settling again now .

So, whats your dress lke, Woodmouse? I can't believe you didn't get any shoes...! I am a bit of a shoe collector, with about 50 or so pairs , and I always have to have new ones to match an outfit...

Hi everyone -
Have caught up with everything and yes have decided to keep my name.

Treenie - Welcome. That's a bit how I feel - teetering on the edge.

Gilly how are you finding the big smoke?

woodmouse where are you looking for shoes? Have you tried south molton street?

Kensgirl I am shocked to discover that I have over 50 pairs of shoes too. We have seemed to be around. I don't stray onto other TTC threads but hadn't seen any of those suggestion. I am very at the 2 year detox. I had Maryland cookies for luncht today

toomuchtimeonline I love your name - that is SO me. I am worried about my eyes going square. I get internet withdrawal if I'm away too long

bella, scorpio, mistlethrush and the other lurkers HELLO!
CD14/15 today and persona has gone green so think that's the fertile period over and done with. Back on the 2ww again.
Roll on the weekend is what I say. I'm off to see ocean's 13. Brad Pitt and George Clooney in the same film.

Hello fifilou, glad you came over and sorry I wasn't here to welcome you. Hello toomuchtime too, I know what you mean about feeling you know everyone before you start posting, I hope you feel at home here.
Hello everyone else

Hi PM, glad you decided to keep your name and not confuse us (well me!)

Hi fifilou and toomuchtimeonline!

Good luck!

Don't you think it is time we had another question?* Here goes mine: are there any 'family' names you want to use or DON't want to use or would be pressured to use? etc etc (many variations on a theme)

My husband's grandfather was called Oswald... no way!

For the last three generations, completely accidently, my side of the family has had names starting with 'El' (Eli, Elana, Ella) which is a nice sound, but it wasn't on purpose!

Any stories to share?

Bella - hoping you are ok

(names - no family ones, thank god!)

Wouldn't want to confuse you nomore!!

In answer to the question - ooh don't like thinking about names really although there are a few which I've "baggsied" from my family!
Not sure I'd be keen on oswald though. Will have a think.

Phew! Well done Bella - I was trying to think of a question too, but my brain just couldn't cope I'm afraid and could only try and symptom spot instead.

We've not really got any family names, nightmarish or otherwise. Dh middle name is James, so it might be nice to continue that, and my dad's family had a bit of aCharles tradition for a middle name too, so another maybe. Girls - none that I can think of, both of my Grandmothers were Elizabeth, but it wouldn't be fair to just have my side.....Girls need middle names though I think. When got married we had beautiful invtiatations printed that I was desperate to have a middle name for to sound all dreamy . I actually sat and tried to invent one, for the purpose of giving the invites that extra edge..[mynname is quite short and French sounding, so.... . I didn't in the end though but vowed my daughter would have the perfecy weding invite name.!! I bet i'm giving too much away now, your all going to avoid me soon for being more than a bit dippy.

Sorry, have dribbled on a bit there

Hi all
am meant to be working but hey would much rather talk baby names than work late in the evening. Don't feel to sorry for me though have been faffing about all day sorting out dh's b'day party tomorrow so really need to put in some hours.
Now names. Dh's family middle name is george which I actually like - would even consider for a first name. that's the only one really. I'm going to give any daughters my mum's name Grace as a middle name and boys will get George - if I have two of the same I'll work through the family tree.
I have another question - does anyone have a dreaded fear of having twins?! Now I know some people would love that, but I would hate it. One is hard enough to get your head around let alone two! Sure I would get a grip if it happened but it's one of my silly preggy worries - which is ridiculous I know. Not even a history in the family so no idea why I'm worrying about it!
Can I also say that I have become completely obbsessed with maternity clothes and have planned an entire wardrobe! What did pregnant women do before Isabella Oliver?!

hurrah! The thread is really lively at the moment.

Big Welcome to Toomuch!! Everyone belongs here.

Bella - good question! Family names is a great one . Our family names are fairly benign and crop up on both sides for DH and me - Mary (ok) and John (ok) but not exactly "now". Middle names i would think. My grandfather was known as Bryce, which I love (anyone lurking who has worked out who i am in RL will def know me know)

ha ha - I see that am in excellent shoe obsessed company, kensgirl! I have about sixty pairs, although my flat is a fairly typical London shoe-box (no pun intended!) and so when the wardrode ran out, they ended up in cupboards and under the bed, but neatly!

Pinkmartini - I went to South Molton Street on saturday. I think it's my spiritual home but couldn't find THE pair, so thought I would wait. Bad idea - i was in a right flap tonight. The dress is a kind of bronze colour, so quite difficult to get contrastng colours that look good and matching colours made me look like the queen. Anyway, i dashed out of work for the late night shopping and made it in to Selfridges at 7.45 and then the funniest thing happened!!! By 8pm I was standing in the shoe section beginning to palpitate and hyperventalate when I STILL couldn't see what I wanted when I saw this girl holding up MY DRESS trying to match it to shoes !!! I nearly fainted! It's a really unusual label and i thought no-body in the WORLD would have it, so - after checking she wasn't going to the same wedding and she wasn't.... phew!! -we teamed up and dashed round together until we found a pair that looked blardy brilliant . Much rejoycing an d mopping of brows as the tannoy was saying "the store will be closing in 15 minutes". We were both the same shoe size too! But....

Yup, you guessed it......(i am NOT making this up!!)

They only had one pair in a 37

And I lost .

She saw them first. So I gave in graciously and I have another nice pair (which she helped me find), but they are not THE SHOES . I'll go back and get the other pair when they get more stock, but we are setting off v early tomorrow, so no chance of getting them for the wedding

errrrrrrrm sorry for hijacking the thread and to any non-shoe fetishists out there if this all sounds a bit "Confessions of a Shopaholic "

hello everyone else > hello to scorpio, ready, gilly, nomore, treenie, fifilou and the others.

Won't be posting after tonight for a few days as DH and I are going to extend the weekend up north, so maybe i'll have something to report about TTC instead of shopping. i really think that having a baby and getting thrilled at maternity clothes might be an excellent alternative obsession for me

p.s - i NEVER thought of twins as a possibility. Really, never.

twins run on both sides of the family, DH and mine, in a big way

woodmouse - first of all, I woudln't worry about people lurking trying to work out who people are. I don't think many people have got the time energy or inclination to sift through all the MNers have they?

What a shame about the shoes. Is there a chance they may have the 37 in harrods or HN or somewhere - they stay open until 7ish I'm sure? I've done that before (though I"m a 41 and it's even harder as they get fewer larger sizes)

As for twins - god no. They are vaguely in my both my mum and dad's family but not at all in DH so I very much doubt it. I do think it would be deeply cool to have non identical b/g twins - wouldn't it have been cool to have a brother your age so you had access to all his friends and vice versa?! But i imagine the work involved is just hideous!

Today's rookie question how soon can you symptom spot then?

Wow - you've all been so welcoming!! I love MN - so glad I plucked up the courage to post .

Kensgirl - Great to hear that your periods were back to normal so soon after the pill. I have to say I am very nervous about what's going to happen to my body as I have been on the pill since I was about 14 (due to bad periods).

Pinkmartini - Thanks - I do live on the internet at work - I have nightmares that one day they will work out my usage and I'll get the sack! I get withdrawal on an evening and weekend as I find it much harder to get onto the computer. P.s. good luck with the 2ww! Symptom spotting? Hadn't thought of that yet - still got 9 pills to go

Nomoremag - thanks for the welcome! I worried after my post that I'd come across like a bit of a stalker! But I do feel like I know you all - it's very strange.

BellaBear - Hi! No family names for us. In fact I haven't really decided on any names yet as I had my heart set on a few names and all my friends have had babies before me and have used them so I don't want to pick one now and not be able to use it.. IYSWM. Is everyone going for middle names then? I don't have one and can't decide whether to use them.. I feel a bit sad that my kids won't have my maiden name either but it's not really a very good middle name.

Treenie - My DH would love twins - which is scary! I don't have a nightmare about actually coping with 2 (which is probably naïve and due to the fact that I have none at the moment!) but I have nightmares about the pregnancy with 2! I haven't looked at any maternity stuff yet - although most of the current fashions make my not so flat tum look pregnant at the moment

Woodmouse - thanks for the big welcome love your shoe story - made me laugh! Hope you are having fun up North!

Hello everyone else!
Hope you all doing well