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When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

998 replies

SoozC · 17/10/2017 21:28

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

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10
79andnotout · 08/05/2018 09:41

Ah @Blueberry1, so happy for you! Welcome to the world, little bluberry!!

BougieQueen · 08/05/2018 22:21

@blueberry1 @Janefx40

My appointment with the Gynaecologist was today (NHS hospital) and he said that my GP should have also referred me for blood testing months ago! The cut off for IVF on the NHS is 40 years and I am turning 40 next week. The doc was really furious at his colleagues for dropping the ball - it was a 4 month wait from my uterine ultrasound to my appointment today and apparently I was supposed to see the doc two weeks after the scan.

Anyway in terms of a way forward I've had bloods taken today and have been told to get my hubby to get his sperm checked. I've also been referred for an operation using a camera so they can see if the fibroids are pushing into my uterus (there are 4 in total, two of which look like they are partly inside the wall). The doc said they can try to shave them down if they are poking in, but to completely remove all of my fibroids there is a risk of a hysterectomy. Thankfully it looks like my biggest fibroids (9cm and 6cm) are outside my uterine wall so should not obstruct a pregnancy. I'm slightly worried about the surgery due to the risks, but the doc thinks that if they just shave them down and not cut them out it should be fine. I will heal and then can try again.

I've read that being overweight can increase the size of the fibroids as well as cutting out processed meats. I have now started a diet/exercise plan to try to lose a few stone in the next few months to improve my chances. Fingers crossed and any advice on fibroids welcomed!

Congrats on the bundle of joy @Blueberry1. You give us all hope!

Kescilly · 09/05/2018 17:54

Congrats Blueberry! Many happy days ahead.

Bougie, how upsetting that they didn't refer you properly. You sound like you're really taking charge though, good luck with the new diet.

I'm stressing myself out before we've even started. I'm overweight and have been losing weight but I'm worried it won't be fast enough. I've also got an under active thyroid and I'm really concerned about this. In the States I had a doctor who was really proactive and told me she'd want to see my numbers lower than normal if I wanted to TTC. But now I'm worried if I go to the GP they'll tell me I just need to lose weight instead. I have a family member whose fertility problems were entirely due to her thyroid, and her thyroid was barely underactive.

I don't mind it taking some time to conceive, I just don't want to be wasting time because of my thyroid. Is this the sort of thing I could go private for if necessary? Not that we have loads of extra money lying around!

Janefx40 · 09/05/2018 18:32

@BougieQueen I'm so sorry about your GP messing things up! Can you afford private IVF if needed?

It may be that the fibroid shaving does the trick. Hope so. At least your tests are under way anyway.

@Kescilly I'm afraid I know nothing about thyroids. You can go private for anything if you are prepared to pay. But why not talk to your GP first and see what they say. It may well be that they are happy to work on your thyroid numbers. I reckon ask the question before you plan for private.

@Blondcat has AF finished yet?

Xxx

Blondcat · 09/05/2018 18:53

@janefx40 not quite no day 7 and finally in the last couple of hours it has slowed right down hopefully it will be gone by morning. Definitely feel like I have had a massive clear out! How are you doing?

ALRM · 10/05/2018 22:41

@melamine sorry for your loss
@bougiequeen sorry the docs have been so crap, hopefully things will turn around now.

BougieQueen · 10/05/2018 22:58

Thanks so much everyone. I am being hopeful and if we did need IVF we can afford at least one round.

Kescilly · 11/05/2018 12:02

BougieQueen I'm hopeful for you as well!

@janefx40 you're right, I should talk to the GP. I'm self-conscious about using NHS resources and I also worry they'll tell me I have no business TTC because I need to lose weight.

Janefx40 · 11/05/2018 12:43

@Kescilly you needn't be self conscious about using the resources because it's their job to do the gatekeeping not ours - they decide on the thresholds for treatment and who is in and out. So they won't treat you, if they have decided it's not a good use of their resources - if they agree to treat that's because they have decided it is worth doing!

It must be tough when you are trying to lose weight - I can totally understand the worry about what the GP will say. I felt they were going to laugh at me for TTC at age 40 (and now 41). I dreaded those appointments. I felt such a fool for asking for help.

But they did refer me for tests and FYI I got a round of IVF free on the NHS which I wasn't expecting. You just never know what they will offer!

Blondcat · 11/05/2018 20:52

So after an epic 8 day af I finally stopped last night so took a test this morning and got a bfn. So relieved it is now all over and I am cleared out to start again. It is really odd doing a test and hoping to see bfn after all the months wanting the opposite!

Janefx40 · 11/05/2018 22:23

@Blondcat I'm sorry it's come to this but I'm pleased that you are over this hurdle at least. Well done for getting through it...

Kescilly · 12/05/2018 14:00

Sorry you had to go through that, Blondcat, but glad you’re on the other side of it now.

Janefx40, how did they treat you at your appointments? I’m happy to hear that they offered you IVF, as I know that’s not available to everyone. I feel guilty using the NHS because I’m an immigrant and I know how stretched the system is.

I’ve decided not to get worked up before I even start. I’m going to just try to relax and hope for the best, look at other options as necessary. Easier said than done!

Janefx40 · 12/05/2018 14:44

@Kescilly well the Drs were quite contrasting actually. The first did make me feel a bit of a fool but more because he made me feel like a neurotic woman fussing unnecessarily than because I was old. It was a bit cringeworthy but ultimately I got the tests I wanted from him even tho I didn't enjoy the experience.

So the first GP told me not to worry because his wife gave birth to 3 kids over the age of 40. The other GP took me more seriously and was happier to refer me on because him and his wife had needed IVF. Two very different attitudes but not related to age I don't think!

Russkispy · 17/05/2018 21:10

Took the test on Monday, 11dpiui and got BFP! We cried ! Total shock and disbelief! My doctor told me to do beta tests on 12dpiui and 14dpiui which I’ve now finished today. And beta numbers are more than doubled from 12dpiui. Early scan is booked for next month as per my doctor’s instructions. I still can’t believe!
Hows everyone else doing?

Blondcat · 17/05/2018 21:21

Congrats @russkispy fx for sticky bean and an easy smooth pregnancy.
I think I am now in the tww but not really sure where my cycles are after my mc last month. Off on holiday next week so hoping I get through that before the next af shows up.

Janefx40 · 17/05/2018 21:36

Congrats @Russkispy great news! Glad you had good betas too.

@Blondcat have a great holiday xxx

We have also have a positive test following our second IVF cycle (which as you know was a total disaster so it just goes to show). Had a blood test today that was a pretty strong result but the clinic won't do a second test (I had to fight them for this one) and as we know, it's about doubling more than single numbers. I do have an idea of our numbers from our first test last week (a CB digital) tho so feeling like our hcg seems like it is ok. Ridiculous tho that I have to piece together info like this. We are very early and have a few things stacked against us so not counting any chickens. But definitely pleased to have got this far.

@79andnotout how are things with you? Hope you're ok

Love to everyone else

Xxx

ALRM · 17/05/2018 21:41

Congrats @Russkispy and @Janefx40 fx for sticky ones.

I am waiting for AF at the moment, have tested but is bfn so presume my cycles are just a bit off.

Got a referal from the GP for investigations but have to wait till August.

Janefx40 · 17/05/2018 22:02

@ALRM waiting for AF is so hard. How come you have to wait until August for tests?

@Russkispy just wanted to say again how pleased I am for you. I'm not surprised you cried. It's massive!!! When is your early scan?

Xxx

79andnotout · 17/05/2018 22:34

Ah wow that's brilliant news @Janefx40 and @Russkispy!

I know it must be really fraught with worry, still, Jane, given the circumstances of transfer, but hopefully this one is a little fighter! I'm so pleased for you.

I'm okay. A bit detached. Making life plans without children in them. I'm booking a ski holiday for next winter, which I am already looking forward to as haven't been for ages, and definitely wouldn't be in a position to book if we were TTC. I'm readjusting my expectations, it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

Good luck to you both, keep us in the loop!!

Blondcat · 18/05/2018 08:04

@janefx40 fx for a sticky fighter that is really great news xx

ALRM · 18/05/2018 08:22

@Janefx40 just BUS waiting times I think!

ALRM · 18/05/2018 08:24

NHS 🤦 silly auto correct

Janefx40 · 18/05/2018 08:39

@ALRM ah I see. It's such a lottery isn't it depending where you live. August will come around soon enough but do chase enough to make sure you're not forgotten. My GP had been asked for more info and hadn't told me until I chased him for progress. Then when I gave him the info he still didn't send it in - had to make an appointment to watch him do it. I'm sure that's not the same for you, but always worth checking stuff!

@79andnotout skiing and plans sound good. Did you make some decisions with DP about your situation. No need to share if you'd rather not. Just thinking of you and hope you are ok

Yes it is a super anxious time and I have quite a lot of cramping which could be normal or could be worrying!!! Trying and failing to go with the flow!

Xxx

Blondcat · 18/05/2018 13:11

@janefx40 I had quite a bit of camping in first couple of weeks as did pretty much all of the women on the pregnancy board I briefly joined (most of whom are now 12 weeks or more) so think it is normal Smile.

Blueberry1 · 18/05/2018 16:59

@janefx40 - fab news on BFP. I got cramping before mine & thought it was AF (even told DP that!) & it continued occasionally. I recommend early (7 week) scan as if you get heartbeat then chances of something going wrong are massively reduced. Warning: baby looks like pulsating coffee bean at 7 weeks Shock.

@Russkispy - 2nd time lucky Smile.

@79andnotout - skiing sounds fab. I love it but haven't been for 3 years & now unlikely to go for another 4 cos of baby.