SQUARE ONE'RS TO GRADUATES! Morale & energy is low, but we will not be beaten, BFPs WILL be achieved in this here thread!

[Tee4me]

Roll call:

Tee4me: 34 years old
TTC: #2 since December 2015
DC: DS nearly 5 years old
x2 early MCs
Diagnosed with high level of activated NK cells with positive result for Antinuclear Antibodies plus Hypothyroidism.
About to embark on 1st cycle with medication (from ovulation).
CD7 and gearing up for FW!

Welcoming original square-oner's and any newbies battling along and in need some support x

Nim this is who I'm seeing (privately), but I know he does NHS too. Can't recommend highly enough. Have made lots of friends who are patients of his, and many have fallen with sticky beans after multiple loss since seeing him:
www.miscarriageclinic.co.uk/profile/dr-hassan-shehata
You have been through so much, I really hope you get some answers soon x

Kate bless you. I was sceptical about trying Letrozole (similar to Clomid) because I ovulate regularly too, but my Specialist reassured me it would still be beneficial because of the potential of multiple eggs.
Had my follicle scan on Monday and I just had 1 big follicle on my right ovary. He is doubling my dose next cycle (if unsuccessful this time) in the hope of seeing multiple follicles. Think the general protocol is to start low, monitor, increase as necessary.
Had to inject myself on Tuesday evening, so should have ovulated by now (generally 24-48 hours post jab). I've had 3 days of positive/peak opks though! Hoping back to negative tomorrow so my fanjo can retire for the month!!

Welcome Peach! The injection I was prescribed was 'Ovitrelle', perhaps ask your GP?? Hope you have success with Metformin!

Thanks!

Hi girls hope you’re all doing okay xxx not much news from me - its our last cycle before IVF so we’ve given it a try and if AF comes then I’ll be calling the nurses. Feel like I’m getting my head around doing IVF and trying not to dwell too much on the outcome. Hope you’re all doing okay xxx

Oh Jam that sounds like a pretty good place to be with it all! One day at a time, one step at a time...

I nearly cried in the shop when DH refused to let me switch to 'no added sugar' heinz beans because I have this insane fear that pcos + sugar = futile efforts to concieve. It was more that he wasn't seeming to be willing to change one iota of his life when I'm feeling tired and hot and bothered (probably the clomid talking). I'm feeling very irrational at the moment...

peaches - try to keep your relationship in tip top shape - it really is more important than ttc (as you wouldn't want a kid but a shit relationship for the rest of your life!).

Had a meeting with my head and it was pretty obvious he was uncomfortable... Need to talk to my head of department but jeesh this is going to create so much extra work for me to cover and then mark the cover work! And all so last minute! That's just not how I'm used to working! It seems a bit pointless... also I KNOW I'm going to allienate my HOD - I just started there, really, replacing someone who really went off the boil after having a child! And now here I am saying, 'yeah I'm having infertility treatment?'. It's totally going to piss him off and lessen a few of my opportunities...

physicskate mate I know it'll be awks but don't let work influence your choices. HoD may well be pissed off but you're not responsible for their feelings. Work to live and not the other way round. I'm in the 2WW at the mo! Due tomoz!

You’re right peaches! But most people wouldn’t want that sort of view from their kid’s teacher... any sign of weakness can be preyed upon, by kids or management!! It’s why the headlines exist about the stupid unpaid hours worked by teachers... 50-60 hour weeks and why we were called ‘the blob’ by a recent education minister...

But I’m prattling on. It IS just a job at the end of the day, but it’s also my identity...

Teaching is SO much more than a job, in my opinion kate. My mum's a headteacher - she's just in fact retired this summer - but I've seen all my life how consuming it is. I think its an amazing job but so full on. I hope your HOD is supportive.

Of course you have responsibilty for the kids but you also have responsibilty for yourself and your family. Don't feel like you're being selfish because you need to prioritise family once in a while!

Peaches, that’s basically what my god said - prioritise my health (I told him lady problems meant they wanted me in for a series of tests). He was quite nice actually and didn’t pry but said he was there when I needed!!

Feeling a bit tired and hot. Maybe the clomid? Only one dose left!! Not sure whether to Dtd before first scan or what??

Oh good! I'm glad he was supportive!

Hi everyone,

Glad your boss was ok Kate, one thing less to worry about.

Any news peaches?think u said u were in 2ww.

How u jam, tee, Mimi?

I have my ultrasound scan later today, they won't be able to tell me anything it says on letter. So another wait.. 😔
Still no period! Been a long time..keep getting the pains like I need to ovulate.

Oh Footy - how frustrating! Surely you can see the ultrasound if you ask? Spose it's already happened now though.

Hope everyone else is keeping well! I think I feel positive about something changing? Even if it doesn't work...

I've got mine Mon, Wed, Friday, Mon Wednesday. DH is amazing. He came home tonight and said so what are we doing about sex? So he cae up with the plan of when! We weren't sure if we're meant to wait until after the first scan but it isn't until CD12 and we don't want to miss the egg if Clomid makes it come early!!! Even if there are too many eggs... is that daft? I know I usually ov cd 19-23, but I've read Clomid can often make it come early for people who already ovulate....

Fx for your results footy

Kate your DH sounds amazing. Glad all going well on clomid. It made me ovulate a day or two early

Same old here I’m afraid. I’m Day 23? Had to look that up. About 7-8 DPO. Got my instructions to call nurses on day 1 to get my drugs delivered - then still a long wait to day 21 to actually start.

Things been very strained with DH. The situation is like a pressure cooker. IVF is a massive emotional physical mental investment with absolutely no guarantees. Think he’s struggling to accept we’ve come to this whereas I’m ready to get started.

Hope you’re doing okay tee xxx

Scan was ok- thought I was going to pee my pants as had to drink a lot of water! I did quiz the nurse. She said she couldn't see anything to worry about, and said I had lots of follicles tiny ones on my right ovary.
She also did internal one. Confident that she had a good look around as she said she could see my c section scar inside. She said she can't really say much..
Results in 5 days. Another waiting game 😩

Kate I ovulated early on clomid a couple of times but also made it later another few times. It made me have hot flashes and night sweats. What mg you on? It did make the opks all nearly positive so hard to predict.

Jam I totally get that, ivf can cause so much emotional energy. Fingers crossed for this cycle though x

Afternoon girls!
Footy so glad you've had the scan. Silly they can't say anything there and then, but it was a similar story with mine last year, she basically said couldn't see anything obvious and full report would be sent to GP. It didn't uncover anything. Did you pursue the idea of trying Letrozole?
Kate so glad you've had a boost trying something new! I feel the same, feels like you have a bit of control back. This could be all you needed. I ovulated early on Letrozole and all my opks were positive because of the Ovitrelle jab which contains hcg. Didn't consider that the Letrozole could have made them positive too though 🤔
Jam it's so exciting that you are nearly there with IVF, but can understand the pressure it's put on your relationship. DH is nowhere near accepting that we might need to go down that route. Did you ever check your TSH level?
I went back to GP today to get represcription for Thyroxine. I asked if I could go back on the list for referral now it's been a year since last bfp and nearly x2 ttc overall. She agreed so I should get a appointment for that in next couple of weeks. Still paying to see the miscarriage Specialist privately, but it's costing a small fortune. I'm hoping the NHS Specialist might be able to relieve me of paying privately for at least some of the treatment. In a perfect world I would fall before I see them, but mustn't hold my breath on that.
9dpo today and have to test on Sunday to determine whether to continue steroids (if bfp) or abandon until next cycle. Starting to feel crampy as per, so it's not looking promising x

Footy AF got me!

Sorry Peaches 😔** x

Hi all,

I've been to the GP, they're doing blood tests, booking ultrasound in order to refer me to fertility specialists. I think it's quite reassuring like something is happening at least. Then I think they do whatever a 'lap and dye' is!!! I think you all are a few steps ahead of me!

What's the difference between clomid and letrozole? I literally know nothing!

physicskate how are you finding the metformin and inofolic? I've been on inofolic for almost two weeks now and I think it's grim!

Not taking metformin, just inofolic. I sometimes take one sachet a day and it seems to help. I think my body’s getting used to it. I’ve lost a bit of weight with is too so im now comfortably in ‘normal’.

I think letrozole is just a different drug. Maybe newer? I wonder if it has many of the same long term effects of clomid like thin lining? Need to look into the pros and cons I think.

Off for ultrasound tomorrow! A bit nervous as to what they’ll see. I’ve been having a small amount of ov type cramping so I’m wondering if a cyst has burst. And only ever on the left so it’ll be interesting to discuss that with the sonography! But I’m glad I get to see the progress over a few days too.

That is exciting! What about the inofolic do you think has helped with the weight? Do you just feel less hungry?

It’s either the inofolic or clomid. I’m not more hungry. I reckon it’s just improving my silly metabolism and maybe getting rid of excess insulin in my blood stream? I’ve been reading that women with pcos have higher rates of type 2 diabetes and heart disease, might be linked to insulin? I’m no expert but I’m finding it’s getting pretty easy for me to latch on to one small idea if it gives me hope...

Yes, I've heard from my GP that it is all about insulin. I need to loose a bit more weight. I think pre inofolic/metformin when I ate I still felt hungry and also through out the day I'd have 'sugar?crashes' and feel really panicked about finding something to eat. I hope it helps me lose weight too.

So I had my first tracking scan and feeling pretty shit. I’ve got a dominant follicle (13 mm) on my right ovary (even though ov pains other cycles are always on my left). The reason I feel shit is because the sonography said, ‘so what do you know about this fibroid?’ And I was like, ummmm. And then she said, ‘oh don’t worry I’m sure it won’t affect things!’. So now I’m pissed off there’s another potential issue and I’m just an infertile cow. Put me out to pasture. And yes, I’m fully aware I’m catastrophising!

Another scan Wednesday. It feels a bit hopeless today. My heads up my arse and people are chasing me for deadlines.

Kate can you get another opinion on the fibroid? Seems a bit ridiculous to ask you what you think about it. Fibroids can be overcome lovely and might make no difference xx