SQUARE ONE'RS TO GRADUATES! Morale & energy is low, but we will not be beaten, BFPs WILL be achieved in this here thread!

[Tee4me]

Roll call:

Tee4me: 34 years old
TTC: #2 since December 2015
DC: DS nearly 5 years old
x2 early MCs
Diagnosed with high level of activated NK cells with positive result for Antinuclear Antibodies plus Hypothyroidism.
About to embark on 1st cycle with medication (from ovulation).
CD7 and gearing up for FW!

Welcoming original square-oner's and any newbies battling along and in need some support x

[Tee4me]

Footy good luck with the scan. I continue to suffer with lots of cramps throughout my cycle. Makes me think about cysts and endometriosis, but my internal scans never revealed anything. Did you ever have that tube flush treatment that Jam had? Wonder if that would be a good idea if there's potentially blockages?
Hope things are continuing to improve with you and DH too x

[physicskate]

How is everyone? Any scan news foot? How are things your end tee?

I've just started inofolic which is meant to help pcos... it's safe during pregnancy and I figure it can't hurt. Ov is soon I think? Losing track of cycle day.

Crap day at work but it doesn't phase me as much (but still phases).

[Footy1]

No scan yet, I'm still waiting kate. I have the blood tests back and all was normal. They tested for cancers and inflammation. Still getting the cramps though.. it's really weird.

Oh why oh why does my body not work!!?cd28 but don't think I ovulated so nothing to report. Hopefully I'll get appointment for scan soon. Do t think they will do the flush thing with me tee as not qualify for fertility help.

I've heard of inofolic but no idea what they are.

Nice to hear from you Durez, hope leg gets better soon x

[Jamon]

Hi girls xx will catch up properly tomorrow xx

[physicskate]

Met SIL's unplanned baby (which she reminded me twice she was unplanned)... numb. Depressed. Broody as fuck. And so upset I'm swearing. Like a sailor.

Cd 20 and still no positive opk.

[Jamon]

Oh Kate 💐💐💐 hope you’re ok

No news from me. Had a weird light AF so not sure what’s going on there. Family wedding yesterday , three people asked me why we don’t have children yet

Next AF will be calling the nurses to get our drugs delivered..

[physicskate]

Thanks jam. I hope you're ok.

I had a pretty bad night and morning. I really hate my body right now. Cd 21 and still negative opks. Surely it's because I've got clomid downstairs for next cycle... all I can see is her precious little baby face and I keep thinking why did t my bean grow and you did?? I massively resent everything. I hate who I am these days...

[Tee4me]

Ah girls, this is getting so tough. Can't believe we are approaching the 2 year mark.
I went to a Wedding on Friday. The bride is one of my closest friends, she knows about my ttc struggles, however, when I finished my reading at the ceremony, as I walked past her and flashed a little smile, she mouthed what looked like "bump?". I shrugged it off thinking I must have misunderstood, but when I hugged her after the Wedding she said "Oh Tess are you pregnant?!"
So to add insult to the injury of failing to conceive, I currently look about 6 months pregnant because of these bloody steroids!! I'm so bloated it hurts. AF arrived yesterday. I've never felt more crap about myself. I'm now on the slimfast diet and have ordered Piyo (60 day fitness programme). I'm fed up of life being on hold and not doing anything on the off chance I might get pregnant soon.
🙄

[Jamon]

Wish I could give you both a big hug

Kate it’s so normal to feel envious and resentful - don’t beat yourself up

Tee how bloody thoughtless of her I know exactly what you mean about exercise and life on hold - I’ve held back from things over the last two years and got nothing to show for it might start running again

[Footy1]

Sorry it's hard for you right now Kate, these feelings are perfectly normal. We all want what someone else has. I often think that i must have done something seriously wrong over the years to get these trials over the past years. Can only encourage you to not let it bring you down as this will also be Against you. Hard I know.. big hug.. xx

Tee, I'm gob snacked! That is so rude of her. Even if I suspect someone was pregnant I'd still not ask them incase they were not. You must have felt so embarrassed and insulted. Remember however bloated you are, you are lovely and your Dh loves you for you. Just think of the goal and not the journey. Its like a trial, A bit of weight is easy to shift if it doesn't work and losing the unwanted pounds will also be a fertility experiment. Have you increased your water intake ? as this might help flush any excess water.

Jam, what day are you on Jam, was you due an AF? What meds are you going to take?

Hope everyone else ok. How you doing Nim and Mimi?

I'm plodding along, still no AF cd32. Chased up scan, but they said i should hear this week. They see it as non urgent I guess after blood results were ok. I still think I have a blockage or loads of cysts. When I lie on my right side I get a dull ache every night since about 2weeks. That's not normal.
Dh and I continue to rebuild our marriage. So far so good

[physicskate]

Cd 22. Still no ov or positive opk... Bloody typical... latest I've ov'd previously cd 25, but that was after my chemical. Not sure why this is happening this cycle. Oh wait, my 'diagnosis' probably means my body feels like she can act out. What a jerk!!

[Jamon]

Glad to hear things are better footy and hope he’s putting effort in too

I’m not sure what day I am - had af last week. Was much lighter than usual which worries me a bit

So we have one last try now before starting down regulating drugs. I’m on long protocol so it takes f ing ages but it’ll make a change from the ridiculous loop of trying

Kate do you have any ovary pain? Hope you’re not waiting much longer

[Tee4me]

Footy lovely to hear from you, glad to hear your marriage is rebuilding nicely. Hope you get an answer on the scan soon!
Kate that sucks, I find it hard enough to cope with regular cycles. Are you DTD just in case?
Jam plenty of blood enriching foods for you this cycle. Beetroot risotto as per Izzy Judd? If you pull your eye down, does the blood in the socket look pale? Could need an iron boost.

I've been put on a 'Super Ovulation' plan. I had a follow up with my Specialist yesterday and asked if there was anything else I could do to speed things up. So that's what he recommended. I said I don't appear to have problems ovulating, but he said I could still benefit as it could help me produce extra eggs. So I'm on Letrozole CD3-CD7, then I have a scan to look at my follicles on CD10 (next Monday) and will be given a trigger shot which I have to administer myself when they instruct (eekkk) then you DTD 24-48 hours after. Excited to try something different and I'm really looking forward to the scan to check out how the old ovaries are looking if nothing else x

[Jamon]

Sounds like a good plan tee

I start acupuncture again this evening which I’m looking forward to. We have our first nurse appointment next week to go through consent. Feeling a bit numb about it all and just want it all done already.

[Footy1]

Tee that's so weird as when I told the gp about clomid not working she said there was other drugs out there including letrozole (femara) but as a gp she couldn't prescribe it as I don't qualify for fertility help. I was tempted to order it online? But never heard of it before. Hmmm let me know how you get on.
Funny a year ago I was scared about taking any pills for ttc and now I feel like I could go through the drug list!!

I have a scan date for two weeks (throwing my time away waiting).
I still haven't had af and still haven't popped an egg out. Soooo frustrating.


Jamon enjoy acupuncture. Have you tried massage too?

Kate I'm with u on your frustrations on ovulation.. seriously driving me nuts! Why can't my body just do what it should! X

[physicskate]

Acupuncture sounds lovely! Good idea to add it to ivf! I'd love to find someone to go to up here who opens when I could go... sigh...

Tee - what is super ovulation??

Foot I'm sure it is really tempting to order it online but it might mess you up even more! For example clomid for more than a year can raise the risk of ovarian cancer etc...

So I still don't know what's happening but my boobs are killing!! So I think I must have ovulated before cd 16 when I started opks...? Which would mean I'm closer to starting clomid and would be a bit of relief. No idea when af is due though? Next week?? At some point?

[physicskate]

Raging boobs are just pms. Bfn on frer. They kill!!! Even when I walk!!

Disappointed by the bfn but not surprised! No idea when I'm due af...

Next appointment came through for December. Not sure what happens then... won't even have been through my three rounds of clomid by then!

[Tee4me]

Footy I'm wondering if a round of IUI could be a good strategy for you? It involves induced ovulation which would be good for you and your unpredictable cycles. It's 100s rather than 1000s of pounds, so not such a financial commitment. I think Letrozole is milder than Clomid, less side effects apparently. You only take it for 5 days (CD2-7). Might suit you better than the Clomid did?!
Kate super ovulation involves taking Letrozole (as described above), then a scan on CD10-14 (depending on when you usually ovulate) to check the follicles. Then they tell you when to take the trigger shot to release the egg, then you DTD 24-48 hours after. I like the idea of the Specialist looking at my ovaries/follicles. Going up to Harley Street on Monday for this. Looking forward to it.
Sorry about your BFN and uncertainty this cycle. You are certainly due some answers 😞

[peachesarenom]

Hi everyone!

physicskate I've butted in to this thread as I also have PCOS and my GP had prescribed a low dose of metformin then chatted to her OBGYN mate and recommended inofolic. It took me a couple of months to work up the courage to buy something online so just took the first sachet last night. I'd love to hear how you get on. I'm currently on CD 26 lots of high on my monitor but no LH surge. Although I did have one last month. I wonder if it might be worth just getting one of these trigger injections!

[physicskate]

Hi peaches!! Looks like you're in the right place!
I took inofolic twice a day for about a week but noticed it was giving me some bowel issues. I've now cut back to once a day and will work back to twice a day maybe in a week or two. Also because I know I'm out this cycle, diet hasn't been great the past few days... so that could be partly to blame for the issues too!

How long have you been ttc and what are you 'normal' cycles like?

Mine are reasonably regular - hence only diagnosis of pco/pcos - of 28-39 days. I think I do ov most/ all cycles? I'm not overweight and only have a few stray hairs (sorry ew, tmi). So I don't think I'm on the really bad end of the spectrum. But still no BFP that sticks.

Tee I really think you are doing all the right things here! Throwing everything at it to make it happen. Maybe IUI is the way forward for some of us? It worked for Russ!!! It is heartening when medical professionals seem like they are on our side. I'm still trying to get used to that.

I was having a feel sorry for myself moment earlier reading about BFPs. Think I might be getting sad again as I approach due date for second chemical. I know it's silly. I still haven't seen my friend who is two weeks ahead of where I was.

Still upset/ sad about meeting 'the accident' the other weekend. At least I've got lots of work to keep me company today!! Two sets of books to mark and 5 lessons to plan for tomorrow! Whoops!

[peachesarenom]

physicskate thanks for making me welcome!

I have been eating v.badly and had beginnings of bowel issues before taking sachet last night so I hink I'm going to try and do sachets a day.

I've been TTC since Dec but not DTD every othe day or OPKing just no contraception. We bought a clear blue monitor in August. It showed LH surge. We were suprised we didn't get out BFP that month given our 'commitment'!!!

I actually didn't have a period for 7 months a couple of years ago during a particularly stressful time of life then a really long bleed.

I lost just 1 stone and my periods came back. Lost about 2 now. So I am defo overweight but only have a few stray hairs. Cycle length varies from 27 to 37 days.

I'm excited to hear how you get on. So are you on clomid next?

[physicskate]

Yup. Not sure if it will work though, because I'm reasonably sure I ovulate! So we try that for three cycles and when that doesn't work...?

Best advice: track bbt and dtd LOTS!! It does get rather clinical though. We don't really have sex except for making a baby any more. It's fucking depressing. I really want off this rollercoaster soon. I think today is a bad day because I'm pmsing. No idea when I ovluated (if I did) but symptoms (including rage/ depression) are raging. Boobs a bit less painful now though, so that's a bonus.

[peachesarenom]

I know exactly what you mean so much sex for the last two months so tired and these days just want it to be quick! TMI! I think my husband is getting worried and he's always so chilled out so who knows!

[Nimisha]

Hi All,

think AF will arrive any day to complete my first cycle after my miscarriage. I was referred because of my recurrent miscarriages and have an appointment in 4 weeks in the general gyne clinic. I had a choice of that one or the recurrent miscarriage clinic but that would be in 8 weeks. Don't know if I should have waited for that one.

Was seriously thinking about going on the pill for a few months, its not the difficulty falling pregnant, im just dreading the bfp followed by the heartache of another miscarriage.

[physicskate]

Back to square one. At least it wasn’t a super long cycle. Clomid starts tomorrow. Also need to ring to kick off monitored cycle, which means making a meeting with my head and telling him the score (not asking). Yikes.

Nim- there are no words. It’s just shit. I’ve also considered going back on bc when dh mentions ‘just seeing what happens’ and not keeping track. But with these irregular cycles, I’d have to know when to test otherwise I’d go mad. I still don’t understand why it’s us....